by Casey Peeler
“C’mon. Let’s go check it out,” she says standing and pulling me down the pier.
Weaving my fingers in Marleigh’s, we walk toward the fire.
As we approach, I realize it’s a private celebration of some sort, and I pray we won’t be noticed. As the music gets louder and the flame rises higher, we ease our way into the crowd and take a seat on a piece of driftwood facing each other.
As sparks fly into the night sky, I notice Marleigh watching them.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask.
“Have you ever thought about what happens to those embers?”
“They burn out?” I say unsure of where this is going.
“Yeah, but I can’t help but feel like that roaring fire when I’m with you. You probably think I’m crazy since it’s only been a week,” she says while covering her face with her hands as if she’s embarrassed.
Taking her face in my hands, I raise her eyes to mine. “Mar, I don’t think you’re crazy. In fact, I feel the same way.”
“You do?”
“Yes, but we aren’t like the embers. When this week ends, it will be a beginning for us.”
“How can you say that? You’re going to be like twenty hours away or somethin’.”
“More like nine, but who’s counting.” As a smile crosses her face, I’m happily caught off guard when she crashes her lips into mine. Our kiss heats up like the fire beside us and my heart soars like the sparks into the sky.
As our kiss slows she pulls away and keeps her forehead on mine, “GC, can we get outta here?” Without another thought, I stand and take her by the hand and lead her down the beach.
As the waves crash against the sand and the moon is high in the sky, Marleigh playfully pulls me further from the crowd. “What are you doin’?” I ask. “I don’t know. I was just thinkin’ maybe we should go somewhere a little more private. Ya know, since I’m leaving tomorrow.” She almost whispers then giggles nervously.
As a grin escapes my lips, I stop and pull her into me and crash my lips into hers. When our kiss ends, she continues to pull me along. When she catches a glimpse of an old abandoned house, she glances my way and pulls me faster. Reaching the house, I notice a worn beach chair and she reads my mind as she playfully pushes me into the chair and climbs on my lap. I weave my fingers in her long blonde hair and look into those hazel eyes. “Are you sure?” I ask her. She bites the side of her lips and whispers yes. I pull her lips to mine.
As my body begins to react to her, I know it’s not just a summer fling. I have fallen completely head over heels for Marleigh Anderson. Never in my life has girl caught my heart. There is something connecting us mind, body, and soul.
Chapter 1
July 2011
MARLEIGH
“Marleigh, you ready yet?” Tinleigh hollars through the bathroom door.
“Yeah, I’ll meet you downstairs. I just need to call GC real quick,” I say as I finish removing the hot rollers from my blonde hair. I run my fingers through them and look in the mirror. I look like hell. I swear, I hope it’s not what I think it is. I have cheerleading camp in two weeks and I can’t miss it.
Finding my recent contacts, I dial GC but no answer. I shake it off. Over the past few months, he doesn’t call or text as much as he did when we first left the beach. I know it was just a random chance we met during Spring Break, but I feel like there’s a reason he drove into my life.
I make my way downstairs and find mama and dad waiting to tell us bye before we head out.
“Girls, y’all be careful. Please call if things get out of hand,” Mama says.
“Yes, ma’am.”
We get in Carleigh’s car and make our way to the party on Broad River. Our small town is right on the North Carolina and South Carolina border and on the weekends both Carolinas collide for a good time.
As the evening progresses, I try my best to have a good time, but all I can think about is why I feel like shit as I take a drink of my beer. When Carleigh walks over to see if I want a bite of a s’more, I feel my insides turn upside down. I quickly shake my head no and hurry away from her.
As soon as I’m out of sight, I spew the contents of my stomach. Then, as if a light bulb goes off, reality sets in… Oh my gosh. I can’t deny it anymore. I’m late, like two months late. No, this can’t be happening. It was the only time I’ve ever been so stupid. This has got to be some bug. It can’t happen, not my senior year! Deep down, I know I’m lying to myself and as I make my way back to the party, I’m confronted by my sisters.
“How late are you?” Carleigh asks.
“What? What are you talking about? It’s just a little upset stomach.”
“Mar, we live with you remember? You look like you’ve been run over by a tractor, you’ve had one beer to your normal eight, and just tossed your cookies when I offered you chocolate! Sis, I think it’s more than a stomach bug,” Tinleigh says surely.
“I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought about it,” I say as tears fall from my eyes knowing I’m lying because it’s all I’ve thought about, but prayed it wasn’t true.
Carleigh takes the beer from my hand as they both embrace me. Probably shouldn’t drink any more of that. After trying to hide my emotions, we decide it’s best to leave the party but we don’t go home. Instead, we go to the city park.
“Mar, what are you going to do? I mean are you going to keep it?” Carleigh asks.
“How can you even say that? I can’t get rid of it. That goes against everything we were taught growing up. I know regardless of the situation, there’s a reason for everything. No, I’m not happy. In fact, I’m scared shitless. I mean I know I do stupid shit and Mama and Dad kinda expect that from me, but they’ve taught me better than to think it wouldn’t happen to me. I need to just pray the test is negative in the morning.”
“I sure hope you’re right, but regardless, we’re here for you.”
After a few moments of silence, Tinleigh breaks it. “So did y’all see Mark? He was totally wearing high waters. I don’t know what Sally sees in him. He’s a total dork.” We all burst out laughing as she stands and does her best impersonation of him. Leave it to her to take the attention off me. We sit, laugh and enjoy just being sisters trying to forget what is on the horizon. Before we head home, we stop at a convenient store for a pregnancy test.
Chapter 2
MARLEIGH
Saturday morning, I wake with the light of day. I didn’t sleep well last night, and I know that this morning is going to be an end to a lot of things I’ve planned in my life. I don’t need a test, I know what it’s going to reflect. It’s going to be positive. I just have a gut feeling.
Looking at my phone, I see I have a text from GC. Oh gosh! My stomach does a flip-flop and my heart begins to shatter when I think of him losing his dream because of one stupid act.
GC: Sorry I missed your call last night. I was at the court with the guys and knew you’d be out. Call me when you wake up!
To reply before or after the verdict? That is the question.
Me: It’s okay. We went to the river, but came home early. I feel like crap. I’ll call you later today.
I don’t wait for his reply; instead, I hurry to the bathroom and open the pink box, pee on a stick, and wait. Sitting on pins and needles in the bathroom, I jump out of my skin when there’s knock on the door.
“I’ll be out in a minute,” I say as calmly as possible.
“It’s us. Let us in,” my sisters whisper.
I open the door and we stand in the bathroom waiting. Who knew ninety seconds could feel like days when you are scared shitless? When the digital screen begins to glow, tears begin to fall. I’m pregnant. Oh fuck! I’m really pregnant. My sisters don’t say anything, instead Carleigh pulls the test from my hand and they both hug me as if their lives depend on it. Now I have to decide what to do. Do I keep it or give it away? How am I going to tell my parents? What do I say to GC?
When I can’t take the hugging
any longer, I pull away from them, wipe the tears away as if they didn’t happen, get rid of the evidence and begin to tell my sisters my plan.
“Y’all, I’m not ready for anyone to know. I’ve got to get myself together, decide what I’m going to tell GC and our parents.”
“How can we help?” Carleigh asks.
“Honestly, I have no idea other than help me remain normal until I tell them.”
“Mar, we’re your sisters and we will always stand beside you. Please don’t take to long to tell them. Secrets eat at everyone.”
“I won’t Car. Maybe just a couple of weeks, but when I tell them will you both be there with me?”
“You bet we will,” Tinleigh chimes in. They hug me yet again and I get ready as if I didn’t just take that test. As of right now, this is our secret. Two weeks, I’m giving myself two weeks to get this sorted out.
GUNNISON
It has been three days since I last talked to Marleigh. I know that is partly my fault. I’ve been helping dad at the stable from the time the sun rises, to practice and back to the stable at dusk; life has been hectic. Regardless of what I’m doing she is constantly on my mind and to think that my girl isn’t feeling well and I’m not giving her the attention she needs is killing me.
Each time I’ve talked to her, I feel as if she’s pulling away. I’m really not sure why but what I do know is that the distance between me in Pennsylvania and her in South Carolina, is killing us. It’s not like I can just drive down there and speak to her in person.
Grabbing my gym bag, I head to practice and as soon as the truck engine comes to life my mind wanders to Marleigh and me this summer. I smile and my heart skips a beat as I think about the way she looked at me when I first saw her. As my hand grips the steering wheel, I wish it was holding her hand instead. Damn, I love her so much. I hope she’s okay and we are okay.
Chapter 3
Two Weeks Later
MARLEIGH
Taking a deep breath, I make my way downstairs to talk to my parents, who are watching TV in the living room. My sisters follow right behind me. I’ve never been scared of my parents, but what I’m about to tell them is going to crush them. I’ve always been the one to get into mischief and not think before I acted. My mama always gives me a lecture, takes my phone or grounds me, but this time a lecture and grounding aren’t going to fix this lack of thinking. This is going to be devastating for them, but it’s going to disappoint them more than anything. I brace myself for a lecture and seeing them madder than I have in my entire life.
“Mama and Daddy, can I talk to you a minute?” I ask as my hands begin to tremble.
“Sure. What’s wrong, Mar?” Dad questions.
As we all take a seat, my sisters sit on each side of me, and then the tears begin to form. “Um, I don’t even know where to start except I’m so sorry. I’ve really messed up this time.” Taking a deep breath, my mama starts to stand to make her way toward me. I shake my head no and just say the words to make them a reality. “I’m pregnant.” I’ve never had a way with words and I just couldn’t hold it in any longer. Mama stops in place, and the look on my Daddy’s face is one of hurt.
“When did this happen?” he asks.
“I took a test two weeks ago, but I think it happened over Spring Break. I’m so sorry. I’ve totally messed up everything for everyone around here.”
“No Mar, you’ve messed it up for yourself,” Mama says with a ton of attitude as she makes her way toward me and my sisters move to make room for her.
“Mama, I’m sorry. I should have listened more to you and dad. I know I’ve messed up, but now I’ve got to deal with the consequence.”
Mama ponders a minute then speaks. “Marleigh, hunny, does he know?” I shake my head no. “It’s going to be okay. We’re here for you. Isn’t that right, Charles?” She says as she cuts her eyes to my daddy. It’s almost as if he’s trying to find the words. He doesn’t move from his seat, instead he places his hand on his forehead. Then, he speaks.
“Marleigh, I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but now is not the time for a lecture. You’ve always been my girl that’s full of life, has no filter, and never worries about tomorrow. Life isn’t predictable, but our choices impact it. Yes, this is going to change your life story, but it doesn’t define who you are. You are smart, intelligent, and determined. Your mother and I will support you any way we can. When you tell GC and his parents, we’ll be with you every step of the way. I am disappointed, but I love you.”
I take a minute to think about what he says. I can’t tell GC. He has a dream, and a big one at that. I can’t hold him back from what he loves and has looked forward to his entire life. I just can’t.
“No. I’m not going to tell him. He deserves to live his life. He has a dream, and I won’t let us interfere with that. Plus, there are three states between us. It’s not like I can just go knock on his door and say, ‘hey, you’re gonna be a daddy’.” I say with a snarky attitude.
“Hunny, I know you think this is the end of the world, but not telling him, that’s wrong on so many levels. You both deserve to live your lives and it’s not all your fault. You don’t have to do this alone. We’ve raised you better than that. Just think if it was the other way around? Would you want to be left in the dark?”
“I don’t care, Mama. I’ve messed up my life by being careless, I’m not messing his up too. I’ve made up my mind. I’m cutting all ties with him.”
As I stand to go to my room Daddy calls after me, “GC and his family deserve to know about this baby. Then I hear him tell Mama he hopes my stubborn ass will change my mind.
GUNNISON
Grabbing my hoodie from the bleachers, I hear my phone begin to ring. As several of the guys ask me about meeting up tomorrow, I nod as I see that it’s Marleigh. It’s about time. I answer it and hurry out of the gym and toward my truck.
“Hey, Mar! I’ve missed your voice. Texing isn’t cutting it.” She doesn’t say anything. “Marleigh, are you okay? What’s wrong?” I wait impatiently for her reply. Deep down, I’m worried, she said she wasn’t feeling well and now she isn’t talking. “GC, I’m sorry I haven’t called. Things have been crazy. How have you been?” She says genuinely.
“Good, basketball is going really well, the team is hot right now, but most of all I really miss talking to you. On the way here, all I wanted to do was hold your hand. Is that crazy?”
“No it’s not. There are times I wish I could wrap my arms around your neck and never let you go,” she says, but I can tell she’s holding back.
“Mar, is everything really okay?”
“GC, you know we had a great time at the beach, but things moved so fast. I’ve never met anyone like you. I also know we can’t keep doing this distance thing. I think we rushed things and made promises we might not be able to keep. You’ve got so much going on with the farm and basketball. I just think we need to focus on what is important right now. I don’t want to influence your future decisions. I want you to live your dream.”
“I don’t understand. Every time we talk, we discuss our future together, and now you’ve changed your mind? We made this plan together. I didn’t think we were influencing each other, I thought we were agreeing with each other on what we wanted. We were even going to talk to our parents about when we could work in trips to see each other during the school year. It’s one year, then we’ll be at the same college. That’s what we planned.” Where’s this coming from? What’s she not telling me?
“GC, all those late night calls planning our future aren’t realistic. We got caught up in the idea. Things change. I don’t know if Coastal is the place for me anymore, and I don’t want you to base your decision for college and basketball on me. Just know you’ll always have a special place in my heart.”
As I begin to speak, my heart begins to shatter knowing she’s pulling away from me. “I don’t really know what to say. We had a plan for our future. I was supposed to play ball while you studied marine
life. You were supposed to be sitting courtside for all my games cheering me on. Please don’t walk out of my life. You mean too much to me.”
“That’s exactly why I’m letting you go. Bye, GC.” Then the line goes quiet.
I sit there in my truck and replay the conversation. What. The. Fuck! Anger fills me as I slam my fist into the steering wheel to keep the tears at bay. I just don’t understand how she can let go of us. I know it was by chance we found each other, but she can’t deny the connection we have. Doing my best to shake it from my brain, I put the truck in drive, stop by the post office and mail the gift I had for her. Regardless of what she says, I want her to know what she means to me, even if it’s over. As the package falls into the drop box, the tears I’ve pushed away fill my eyes and I make my way home a complete wreck.
Noticing my mom is in the kitchen, I try to pass her quickly. Just as I make my way to the hallway, she calls my name. Shit. I turn and when her eyes meet mine, she drops her spatula on the counter and walks to me.
“Gunnison, sweetie, what happened?
“Marleigh just broke up with me, said she’s not even sure me and Coastal are her plan anymore. I just don’t understand.”
“GC, it’s going to be okay. There will be someone else. I promise.” I shake my head on her shoulder as I cry like a baby in my mom’s arms.
“No it’s not, Mom. I know you and Dad thought it was just some summer fling, but I love her. I really do. She’s different; I think something’s going on.”
“What do you mean?”
“First she said she wasn’t feeling well and now she doesn’t think Coastal is right for her and doesn’t want her decisions to affect mine. Mom, I’ve always wanted to go to Coastal. It won’t be the same without her but it’s always been my dream to go.
