Ella wasn’t ready to relax though. She had more to say, as indicated by the way she cleared her throat as if she was preparing to go into a long spiel. “Are you really going to stay with Mom for the year?”
I opened my eyes and turned my head to stare at Ella’s profile. She looked at me, and I noticed that her eyes were glistening with fresh tears.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I want to go back to Virginia. I love Mom, but I don’t know if I want to stay here. I kind of still feel like she betrayed Dad,” I admitted.
Ella bit her lip and nodded. She tried to blink away the tears, but one fell down her cheek and dripped on her pillow. “I do too, but I don’t know, I kind of want to stay.”
I tried to hide the shock on my face. I didn’t want Ella to stay if I ended up going back to live with Dad. I didn’t want our parents’ separation to split us up. I tried to keep my expression cool, not wanting to influence her decision since her happiness was the most important factor.
“I just feel like Mom needs us here more than Dad needs us there,” Ella continued in a near whisper. As if hearing her words spoken aloud would make them more true, and she didn’t want to face the fact that Mom really and truly needed us around. I didn’t want to believe it either. The children were supposed to need their parents, not the other way around. Mom wasn’t supposed to rely on us for stability. Everything was backwards. I wanted to go home with Dad and get to be a teenager for a while longer, not stay here and be forced to take on the role as my mother’s keeper. As selfish as that was, it was true, and I felt bad for thinking it.
“She does,” I said, letting the conversation lapse into silence.
We lay there for a while, just quiet. I could feel the need for sleep creeping up on me, but I pushed it away.
Ella rolled over onto her side to face me. “What do you plan on doing about Carter?”
I shrugged.
She gave me a puppy dog face, saying, “Tell me something, please. Take my mind off the real problems for a bit, and just let me be a girl who’s butting into her older sister’s personal life. Okay?”
I sighed and rolled over to face her, feeling a shock of pain in my neck as I shifted positions. Damn kink. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do about him. I do still like him, but I have more important stuff to focus on right now.”
“Like helping Mom, and finding the twins.”
“Exactly,” I said with exasperation clear in my voice. “I don’t want to get back into a relationship when I’m going through family troubles. Besides, I don’t even know if I’ll be here after summer ends.”
Ella rolled her eyes at my last statement. “I think you should make both him and yourself happy and give the guy a chance.”
I bit my lip, torn on what to do. I knew that I was happy with Carter, and that neither of us had really dated since each other, but that still didn’t make me decide. It was flattering how he had waited for me even though I had asked him not to, but it’s hard to focus on a relationship when I’m so worried about my family. “It’s a lot to juggle,” I finally responded.
Ella raised an eyebrow. “It doesn’t get any easier; you just decide what makes you happiest and do it. It’s your life. For the most part, you control what happens.”
Chapter 19
I sat in the chair next to my mom’s bed as the nurse finished wrapping her head up.
“The stitches are healing really well,” the nurse said, smiling at my mom, then at me. I forced a smile back, knotting my hands together in my lap.
“Thanks for your help, Noreen,” Mom said, sitting up slowly in her bed. She leaned forward, trying to fluff and position the pillows behind her.
Noreen rushed forward, fluffing and lifting the pillows into position for her, like she was so injured that she couldn’t do it herself. “You’re welcome, Christine. You’re healing well, but you should still take it easy for a while. You had a pretty bad fall.”
“Can do,” Mom responded, clasping her hands together on her lap and offering a sheepish grin. “Would you mind bringing me another strawberry Jell-O?”
Noreen rolled her eyes exaggeratedly and smiled. “If you eat any more of that stuff, your blood will turn into strawberry Jell-O! That would make my job, and your healing process, a lot more complicated.”
Mom laughed as Noreen grabbed her clipboard from the wall and exited the room. Once she was gone, my mom looked over at me. Her smile quickly left her face and was replaced by an apologetic look. “Lena,” she began.
I raised a hand up to stop her. I knew she was going to try and apologize for what had happened. “There’s no need to apologize, Mom. I get it.” I didn’t really, but I also didn’t want her to feel bad. I just wanted her to heal and get out of the hospital so she could get better physically, emotionally, and mentally.
She lowered her eyes to the floor and bit her lip. She looked so helpless that I felt the urge to wrap my arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be all right, but I didn’t know if that was true or not. Instead I just stayed put.
Mom sighed and looked up at me. She forced a smile. “So, where’s your sister?” she asked, changing the subject like I hoped she would.
“She went to meet up with some friends. She wanted to come and visit you, but Grandma said she needed to get out of the house and have some fun with her friends to take her mind off of everything.” Mom glanced down after I said the last part. I realized she was the reason Ella needed to be distracted by her friends, and so had she. “She’s going to stop by tonight though,” I offered, hoping that would make up for my last statement. I sat up straighter in my chair as she looked up and smiled softly.
“That’s good. Really good. I’m glad she’s reconnecting with her old friends.”
I nodded in agreement. “I am too. I didn’t even know she had kept in touch with anyone.”
“Me either.” Mom’s smile grew slowly from a close-lipped grin to showing her top row of teeth. “That girl is a social butterfly. You both are. You get that from your father.”
My heart warmed at the mention of Dad. I missed him so much. “That reminds me, Dad said that he’s happy you’re okay and that he hopes you get well soon.”
Mom’s eyes widened drastically. “You told him?”
I nodded in response, not seeing the problem.
She raised a hand and rubbed her temple. “Oh gosh. There’s no way he’s going to let you girls stay with me for the year if he thinks I’m unstable.”
I bit my lip, not wanting to tell her that I wasn’t sure about whether I was going to stay or not. So I just sat silently while she rubbed her head, hoping she would say something else so we could avoid this topic. I didn’t want to make her sad again and have a repeat of what had happened.
Mom let out a sigh. “That was sweet of him though.”
“Yeah,” I replied.
She straightened her sheet a little and tried to sit up straighter. Then she looked at me and asked, “Have you reconnected with any of your old friends?”
My mind flashed to Carter. “Sort of,” I answered, knotting my hands together on my lap.
“Who?” She looked at me with an expression of genuine curiosity, waiting for my answer. She probably assumed it was either Sara or Maryam.
I surprised her. “Carter.”
Mom’s mouth dropped open a little before her face lit up. “Seriously?”
“Yep,” I said, popping the ‘p.’
She looked giddy, like a schoolgirl with a crush on her hot English teacher. “Carter was always such a sweet boy. You know, I always really liked him for you.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. “Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me all the time.”
She shrugged. “I thought you two would end up getting married eventually. You two were attached at the hip. I loved how you were best friends more than anything else. He respected you. Even your father liked him despite what he may say.”
I laughed. My dad had always li
ked Carter when we were friends, but when we started dating he had to switch into protective-father mode. He didn’t play the part very well considering how Carter already knew that he was a big softy.
“So,” she began, dropping her voice to a near whisper. “Are you two dating again?”
I sighed, having known this question was coming. “As of now? No.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged, glancing around the room. I didn’t want to say that she was one of the reasons why. I also didn’t want to say long distance and once again bring up the imminent discussion on where I would be living for the school year. Instead I said, “It’s complicated.”
Just then, Noreen returned to the room with a light knock on the open door as she entered with a plastic spoon and a small, pre-packaged container of red Jell-O. When she walked in I excused myself for a moment and exited the room. My mom’s words about Carter hit me, and before I knew it I had my phone in my hand and I was dialing his cell phone number from memory.
The phone rang once before it connected, and Carter answered in a surprised tone. “Lena?”
I took a deep breath and responded with, “We have to talk.”
He paused. “Is it bad? That’s the phrase people use when they have life shattering news.”
I couldn’t stop the smile. “I guess you’ll just have to meet me somewhere to find out.”
He sighed dramatically into the phone before asking, “Meet me at Neece’s at seven?”
“Sure,” I replied before disconnecting the call.
My heart raced as I slipped my phone back into my pocket. Ella’s advice from last night came to me.
“It doesn’t get any easier; you just decide what makes you happiest and do it. It’s your life. For the most part, you control what happens.”
I smiled hard, realizing what I had to do.
Chapter 20
The neon sign on top of the diner was bright and inviting as I walked toward Neece’s Place. I was anxious to be back at my old hangout spot, and even more anxious at the idea of seeing Carter and telling him what I had decided to do regarding his question. Once I got to the entrance, I stopped for a moment to check my makeup and hair in the camera on my phone and straighten my outfit. My hair was in natural curls that framed my face. I didn’t want to seem like I had tried too hard, so I had hurriedly changed into a pair of high-waisted shorts and a crop top that only showed an inch of my stomach.
Before I proceeded into the diner, I replied to a text message from Violet. I had been texting her on and off since the incident with my mom, and had filled her in about my going to meet Carter. The last time we’d talked, I told her everything about Carter, and she was rooting for me to give him a second chance just like everyone else was. The message was short and simple.
Violet: Use that boy intuition and go get your man!
I laughed to myself, thinking of when I had first met her and had joked about having boy intuition. I needed that little push, and with a smile and a deep breath I reached for the door handle and walked inside.
The cool air from the air conditioning hit me as I walked in, and the smell of mouth-watering burgers filled the air. Everything looked the same as it had the last time I was here. It was bright and filled with families and kids my age who were out with their friends. Nothing had changed. The jukebox was playing “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles, and as soon as I heard it I smiled wider. I was a firm believer in signs, and that song made me feel like I was making the right choice.
I didn’t even have to look for Carter, because one glance at our old table confirmed that he had chosen to sit there. Now my cheeks were hurting from how hard I was smiling. It didn’t get any better when he looked up from his phone and met my gaze. I had to bite my lip to attempt to calm myself down.
Carter smiled when he saw me, and beckoned me over with his hand. I slipped my phone into my pocket and proceeded toward him, weaving in and out of tables until I got to ‘our’ booth. He stood when I got to the table, and I was reminded once again of how much of a gentleman he was. My eyes scanned over his outfit. He was wearing a nice short-sleeved shirt that showed off his tan and muscular arms, and a pair of khakis. He had dressed business casual, while I had just dressed casual.
“You look beautiful,” he said, staring straight into my eyes. Then he smirked, and added, “Little Snot.”
I laughed and rolled my eyes playfully. I hated the nickname like hell, but I missed hearing him call me it, so I let it slide. “And I almost made the mistake of thinking about how sweet you were.” I raised an eyebrow and slid into the booth on the opposite side.
Carter chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, effectively messing it up as he slid in across from me. “You know I only say it with affection.”
“Mhm,” I responded.
He rubbed his chin. “I hope that didn’t ruin my chances of winning you back.”
I felt his gaze on me as I shrugged and picked up one of the large menus that sat on the table in front of us. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and see, huh?” I glanced at him over the menu to see his expression. He looked nervous, but he tried to hide it with a smile.
Carter leaned forward, raised his hand, and lowered my menu to the table. “Well, then answer this question.”
I raised my gaze to meet his.
“Why are you looking at the menu?”
I furrowed my eyebrows and gave him a confused stare. I had expected a different question. “Maybe the menu has changed since I left.”
Carter shook his head and laughed. “You were gone for less than a year. The menu hasn’t changed since we were fourteen, and you think that Mrs. Jackson just decided to change it this year?”
“You never know,” I replied, continuing to scan the menu.
He scoffed. “Yeah, right. Besides, you always get the same thing anyway.” He pushed his menu to the edge of the table.
“You aren’t going to look at the menu?” I stopped scanning my menu and looked up in shock. When we used to come here, he had always spent forever looking at the menu trying to decide what he wanted. He liked nearly everything. Unlike him, I was less into trying new things. I stuck to what I knew.
“Nope. I know what I want.” He looked smug as he stroked his chiseled jaw.
I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? And what would that be? You didn’t even look at the menu.”
He laughed at that. “I practically have the menu memorized, I normally just like to look at the pictures of the food while I decide.”
“So then what are you getting?” I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, and stared him right in the eyes.
Carter shrugged. “The same thing you are.”
“I don’t even know what I’m getting yet. I might get something different.”
“Okay,” he said. He smiled lightly at me and then gestured at my menu. “Surprise me.”
“Fine,” I replied, returning my gaze to the menu. I scanned over it again, looking at the different burgers and dinner options. My stomach growled. I had been with my mom all day until Ella had gotten dropped off. Earlier I’d turned down a container of strawberry Jell-O so that I wouldn’t lose my appetite. Finally, my eyes landed on my old usual, and I read over the description.
Two buttery buns encasing our juiciest beef patty, topped with crispy bacon strips, fresh lettuce, and ripe tomato. Served with our special curly fries.
My mouth was practically watering just from reading it. Damn, the boy knew me too well. I groaned as I closed the menu and looked up into Carter’s smirking face.
“You’re getting the bacon cheeseburger. Aren’t you?” His hazel eyes were fixated on mine.
I nodded in defeat. “Yeah, but only because I haven’t had it in a while,” I said, ignoring the smug expression that crossed onto his face.
I placed my menu on top of his just as a short waitress came up to our table. I recognized her instantly, not even needing the name tag that was on her shirt that said, ‘Hi, my
name is Nevaeh!’ She had gone to school with me, and was just a grade younger. She was the owner Neece Jackson’s daughter.
“Hey, Carter,” she said, smiling at him then looking at me. She squinted and then smiled. “Lena, right?”
I nodded.
“Long time no see.” Then she flipped a page on her little pad, and poised her pen to write. “What would you two like today?”
Carter smiled at me, and then ordered for us. Nevaeh poked her tongue out of her mouth in concentration as she scribbled our orders and drinks down.
I sat there for a second trying to spit out what I had come here to say. Carter was patient, and kept the conversation going, but I wanted to tell him my decision. When I opened my mouth the first time to say it, Nevaeh returned with our Oreo shakes before leaving again. I sipped at mine, relishing the taste. I had missed these shakes.
Finally, right before he opened his mouth to ask me another question about Virginia, I said, “Wait. I wanted to say something.”
He nodded, encouraging me to continue.
“Uh…” I wrung my hands together on the table in front of me nervously. “The reason I asked you to meet me here was because I wanted to answer your question from the other day.”
Carter unconsciously leaned forward, placing his arms on the table.
“Well, I’m willing to try again if your question is still on the table.”
He let out a shaky breath of air that sounded like a light laugh. “Seriously?”
I nodded yes.
He smiled and placed his hands on top of mine, stopping me from wringing them together again. His hands were so big that they covered mine protectively, and sent warm tingles shooting up my arms. “I had a feeling you were going to say yes, but I still felt like you might say no.”
“Oh yeah?” I questioned teasingly. “Why is that?”
“You’ve always been stubborn,” he replied with a smile.
I rolled my eyes. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” he insisted. “So does that mean that we’re dating again?”
Scarlet Awakening (Sweet Secrets #2) Page 11
