My heart thumps, sending my pulse racing. Why does his intense gaze and his masculine smell do this to me every time? The moment he dips his head to press his lips to mine, someone calls out, “Calder Blake!”
A tall, thick-boned man, and a shorter guy, hop out of a van parked on the street, cameras in hand. Another guy with thinning dark hair stops his car in the road and leans out his window, his camera already snapping. “I heard a rumor you’re a guest speaker at Alana Shane’s publisher’s party celebrating her InkArt book hitting the USA Today,” the burly guy from the van says. “Is it true? Will we see you at The Climb in SoHo tomorrow?”
“Alana says you two had a past relationship,” Thin-haired car guy says. “Care to comment?”
Calder slits an annoyed gaze on the paparazzi. “Meet my fiancée, Cass Rockwell.”
While the two men try to step in front of the guy in the car to get a better shot with their cameras, they all fling questions my way.
“Where did you two meet?”
“Let’s see that ring!”
“When’s the wedding?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“That’s enough,” Calder barks. Wrapping his arm around my waist, he escorts me to his car parked directly in front of the building. I don’t argue, because I want to get out of there as fast as possible. I remember seeing the paparazzi buzzing around Sebastian and Talia a few times, especially during her book signings. Once the whole Celeste ordeal settled, I’d been able to pretty much fly under the radar.
But now that these guys know I’m engaged to Calder, they’ll be like a swarm of bees buzzing around us.
I block the camera’s view with my hand so they can’t capture how upset I am. I don’t want them to see that I just learned about Calder’s plans for tomorrow night with his ex-girlfriend splattered all over tomorrow’s tabloid newsstands.
The fact Calder didn’t immediately deny the rumor once we’re alone in the car, tells me it’s true. Since Calder doesn’t say a word while he drives, I send off a quick text to my father asking about their phones, then call my credit card company and threaten to cancel my card with them if they can’t guarantee to protect my account from getting hacked.
Once I hang up, I spend the rest of the ride home getting more annoyed at being blindsided by the media. Of course Alana turned her “tattoo portfolio” into a book. And of course it sold enough copies to hit the USA Today list. Fuck me. Can I feel like even more of a failure right now? Nope, not really.
As we pull up the drive, I can’t hold it in any longer. “You have a lot of nerve getting upset with me about making a stupid appointment with an agent, while you’re off making party plans with your ex.”
Before he can reply, I get out and let myself in the house.
Stepping around drop cloths and paint cans in the kitchen, I punch the alarm code to stop it from beeping.
“She just called me today. I was going to tell you about the event tonight. I hoped you’d want to go with me.” I tense at Calder’s voice right behind me. He clasps my shoulder and turns me around, his gaze is hard and not at all regretful. “I’m doing a friend a favor for one evening. You intended to sign a contract that could keep you in town for who knows how many nights a week. That’s usually something couples who’re planning to marry discuss, but I wasn’t even on your radar. Just like setting a fucking wedding date hasn’t been.”
“That’s not true! I said we’d set it soon.” I think about you every minute…about how I don’t want to fail you too. There’s a lot I want to say, but until I hear back from the doctor, I don’t want to unnecessarily add to Calder’s frustration with his family history. Especially after learning he’s having issues with Ben at work. I know where his anger is stemming from. Telling him he won’t be able to start his own family line with me is the last thing he needs to hear right now. But none of that negates the fact that I’m still ticked about being caught off guard. I fold my arms, ready for battle. It’s been a hell of a day for me too. “I’m not the one going around making dates with my exes.”
“Stop calling it a date. It’s an obligation.” Grunting, he rakes a hand through his hair. “When she took the photos of my Steel tattoo for her temporary tattoo section, she mentioned that she might submit it for publication. I joked that if she did and it hit a list, I would help her promote it.” He snorts as he tugs at his tie to pull the knot apart. “I never expected it to actually happen.”
Now I’m even more irritated that she seemed to have lucked into hitting a list. The more I learn about this whole Alana situation, the crappier I feel. I refuse to have her success rubbed in my face for an entire evening. “Well, good for her. I won’t be going to the event,” I say, then start to walk around him to head upstairs.
“Saturday sounds good,” he says in a firm tone.
I pause and look up at him, my heart starting to hammer. “What about Saturday?”
“For our wedding.” He faces me, his gaze full of serious intent.
“No.” I shake my head in a fast jerk. “There’s not enough time—”
“For what? You to change your mind?” His face darkens and he steps into my personal space. “Damn straight, there’s not.”
“But my parents aren’t here.”
“Your parents adore me.” He slides a hand intimately into my hair as if he didn’t just plan a big life event for us to happen a few days from now. “They’ll understand. And we can always have a celebration party later.”
“You can’t just set the date for this weekend, Calder. There’s tons to do.” I stutter as his gaze drops to my lips. “Pl—places to reserve.”
His fingers tighten around my hair, keeping me from moving as his gaze snaps back to mine. “Do you get wet whenever I touch you?”
The intensity in his stormy green stare liquefies every muscle in my body. My fingers itch to run through his light-brown hair, then pull him close so I can feel his muscles press against me. Why does he have to be so freaking hot? I work hard to keep my voice even as his other hand moves under the edge of my dress, his fingertips grazing the front of my thigh. “Of course I do, but—”
“Does your body ache when I do this?” He grips my inner thigh, his thumb sliding so intimately close that I bite my lip to keep from moaning. When he presses down on the juncture of my leg, I hold my breath in anticipation. He has to feel the heat radiating off me.
Yes, damn it! “Does yours?” I grab hold of his belt. My fingers tease his goody trail, then dip past his underwear to barely brush the tip of his erection.
With a low growl, he fists my hair and tilts my head back. The moment our mouths align, he bites my bottom lip hard enough to make my legs shake. Releasing my lip, he slides his nose along my cheek. “Every time you so much as breathe in my direction, I’m instantly hard.”
I let out an involuntary pant. I’m so revved and ready for his touch, my fingers instinctively tighten around his belt buckle. I want to yank the damn thing off, but I can’t let him know how desperate I am. He’ll use that knowledge to get me to agree to his crazy plan.
Warm breath bathes my jaw while his thumb slowly runs down the front of my damp underwear. Just one touch, but no more. Ahhh, the torture. I will not beg for it, no matter what he does. I will not. Yet I can’t keep my hips from moving closer.
“Your sweet pussy is dripping for me, angel.”
The man’s completely unapologetic in his arrogance. “It’s been a while,” I counter, even as I fold my free hand around the back of his neck to pull him closer. I’m surprised he doesn’t remind me that it’s only been since last night, but then his voice drops to a carnal, knowing purr.
“How hard do I make you come, Cassandra Rockwell?”
So hard. So many times. Oh God, stop the torment. “Just touch me!”
He curls his fingers around the back of my head and yanks me fully against him, rasping in my ear with a rough, demanding grate. “Then you’d better fucking set a date, Raven-mine.”
&n
bsp; While part of me wants to rail at him, my fingers still dig into his hair, keeping him close. “We can decide next week. I promise.”
Calder stiffens and pulls back to scowl at me. “I want an answer now.”
“Next week will be perfect.” Panic makes my stomach tumble. “You—you’ll be happier once I can scout out a few places and know our plan.”
“I’ll be happier?” He jams his hands into his hair, eyes blazing with fury. “Why does everyone keep telling me what I want? I know my own mind, goddamnit!” Narrowing his gaze on me, he continues, “But apparently I’m the only one who does.”
I’ve never seen him this angry. As hard as it is to stay silent, I realize I was right to keep quiet until I can confirm with the doctor. My hand shakes as I put it on his chest. “Calm down, Calder. You know I love you.”
“Do you?” he says, stepping back so my hand falls. “Because you sure as hell have a funny way of showing it.”
I know he’s lashing out in frustration, but it’s hard not to take it personally.
“You have no idea how much I’m trying not to scream at you right now,” I say in an even tone.
“Then do it!” he snaps.
“The way you’re acting…this anger…it isn’t just about us, Calder. Something else is going on.” When he doesn’t speak, but just scowls at me, I try to draw it out of him. “What’s with the blow up with Ben today?”
“He pushed too far,” he says, folding his arms.
“This is beyond him just being an annoyance. What did he say that upset you so much?”
Calder shrugs. “Nothing that matters.”
Yeah, right. His gaze has already shuttered. Whenever it comes to his half-brother, blinders go up. “I’ve seen Ben trying to joke with you, and you just won’t have any of it. I wish you’d let down your guard a little and give him a chance. He’s a good guy if you’d just—”
“Why?” he grates, his arms falling to his sides. “Why do you keep pushing him on me?”
“Because he’s your brother. You have no idea what I would give if I could have Sophie back. The bond we had was immeasurable. I know the team at BLACK Security is awesome, but also surrounding yourself with those who’ll have your back despite your differences is important. That’s what family does, Calder. When it comes down to it, blood is thicker than water.”
“Fuck Phillip for all of it! And fuck Ben too,” he barks. “What I need is my own family, Cass. Not Sebastian, not my other cousins, or the team at BLACK Security. Call me old-fashioned, but I would like your last name to be Blake before junior comes along.”
I blink back the cloud of mist in my eyes. He’s had such a rough year after learning his mother committed suicide because of what Phillip did to her, then finding out that raging psychopath was also his biological father. I understand his struggle, but the past won’t change, no matter how much we wish it could. It’s how we move toward our future that dictates who we become. Calder couldn’t be any clearer in his desire to start a family, and the last thing I want to do is disappoint him on that front too.
“You’ve got nothing to say?”
I nod and swallow the painful lump in my throat. Thinking quickly to buy myself some time, I gesture to the paint paraphernalia around us. “The house is nearly done and all this stuff will be cleared out this weekend, right? We’ll start working on wedding plans next week once it’s gone. Hopefully we’ll be able to book a church on such short notice, and the florist and caterers. Then there’s the reception location. If we can’t book that, we might have to wait just a little bit…”
He stares at me, then says curtly, “I need some air,” before he walks out of the house.
When his car engine roars to life, I grab the doorknob and open it, but he’s already backed out and the garage door is going down.
Closing me off. Just like that.
My heart races as I panic and retrieve my phone from my purse. We’ve never fought. Not like this. Disagreed, yes. One would stalk away and the other would follow. We talked. We worked it out, but this…
I try to type in my password, but my hands are shaking so bad I can’t get the passcode to work. When I finally get it typed in correctly, my phone screen display goes completely black as my phone dies.
“Why won’t this phone keep its charge?” I growl at the stupid phone, then whisper, “He’ll be back,” to calm myself down. But where is he going? When my gaze lands on the duffle bag that he normally takes with him when he goes to the gym, my heart sinks. Where else would he go? Would he go see Alana?
The possibility makes me scan the island quickly, looking for my charger. Where is it? When I don’t spot it underneath yesterday’s mail, I run into the library that doubles as an office and pull open the main desk drawer to find one of Calder’s. My gaze snags on a manila envelope and I stop searching to open it. Big tears cloud my vision as dozens of small baggies, full of cut up pictures, fall out onto the desk. Calder didn’t get rid of all of his family photos like I thought he had. Even though they’re in pieces, he’d kept some. Sniffling, I pick up a few of the baggies, feeling hopeful as an idea comes to me.
He’ll calm down and come home, but a project will keep my mind occupied. I’ll just need a few supplies.
As soon as I get in my car and see my charger on the passenger side floorboard, I roll my eyes and plug it into the car and my phone, then start the engine. My heart lifts when a text instantly buzzes through, but the excitement fades that it’s not from Calder.
A blocked number.
Secret keepers have an obligation to keep their secrets safe. Are you going to make me come to you?
Well shit…there’s no way that text was sent to the wrong person. This is Celeste’s secret, not mine, so what does she mean by that? Is she in some kind of trouble? I quickly glance behind me at the open garage door, my heart racing. The last thing I want her to do is show up at Calder’s house. If someone recognized her, we’d all be in hot water. Worse, Phillip’s jail time could be reduced. I chew on my bottom lip and glance at my watch, trying to decide what to do.
Calder would insist that I stay the hell away, but all I can picture is the look of betrayal on Beth’s face if she found out that her sister was not only alive but needed help and I ignored her. At least for now, the burden of checking on Celeste and her baby falls on me. I grimace at the text. Keeping secrets sucks.
Even though the text just came through…it says it was sent a couple hours before. Stupid phone. It’s definitely time to get a new one. Instead of replying, I pull out of our driveway and turn in the direction of the library.
I cut the engine in the parking lot of our old high school and check the time. Almost five. The library will close in seven minutes.
Luckily, I don’t have to waste time getting a visitor’s badge because the main doors are thrown open. Probably to air out the high school funk. I smirk at the thought and head for the library.
Once there, I go straight to the section where Colored By Design is kept. Celeste used this book before when she left behind a message confessing that she was very much alive and how she’d framed Phillip for what he’d done to her. The real kicker was that she thanked me because she couldn’t have pulled it off without my help. Thinking about how she’d used me, I mutter quietly, “I can’t believe I’m being dragged in again.”
When I reach the slot on the shelf where the book would normally be, I’m surprised it’s missing. I look all around on the shelf above, then below, but I don’t see the oversized book on colors and design.
The sound of a book hitting the floor with a soft thump a couple aisles over, draws my attention.
I glance back to see if the librarian noticed the noise before I step over the footstool. Just as I peer around the bookshelf, I catch a quick glimpse of the back of a guy with short dark hair, a dark colored shirt, and faded jeans before he disappears down that aisle.
I move quickly over to the section I’d seen him enter, but by the time I peek around
the edge, no one’s in that aisle.
Quickly walking over to the desk, I speak to the mid-twenties librarian in a black bob with teal streaks on either side of her face. “Excuse me. Did you see the guy who just left?”
She looks up from scanning the bar code in the back of a returned book and shakes her head. “I didn’t, but even this late in the day students have been known to flit in and out of here without checking out a thing. Is there something I can help you with?”
Shaking off the feeling he’s watching me, I nod. “Can you please let me know if you have Colored By Design in your return stack behind the desk?”
She looks at her stacks of returned books, then taps out the name of the book on her computer. “Ooh, that’s an old one. I’m surprised they haven’t retired it. Are you sure it’s not on the shelf?”
“No, it’s not there. I checked all around and didn’t see it.”
“Then I guess someone checked it out but it didn’t get scanned. If you want, I can take your name and call you when it’s returned?”
I shake my head. “That’s okay. I’ll just check back another time. Thanks for your help.” Why do I feel like I’ve just been played? I can hear Calder now, grumbling in my ear, “See, I told you to stay out of it.”
Whatever Celeste is cooking up, I want no part of it. Walking out of the library, I reply to Celeste’s last text.
I kept your secret. That’s where my obligation ends. Do not contact me again.
Chapter Five
Calder
I drove for a while trying to calm down, but I couldn’t settle, so I found myself heading for Gil’s gym. Even though Gil lives upstairs, since the lights are on down in the gym, I stop in. It’s quiet when I open the main door, but that doesn’t surprise me considering the late hour.
Gil’s been a gruff mentor and pretty much a second dad to me since my father passed away. Volunteering at his gym and teaching MMA techniques mixed with my own SEAL skills is the least I can do to repay him for helping me get past my father’s death. Not to mention, it’s rewarding work to see these guys channel their personal demons into something positive.
Blood Rose: In the Shadows - Book 8 Page 5
