by Jessie Keane
‘I really didn’t.’
‘This is gonna burn in a sec,’ shouted Winston from the kitchen.
Suki was staring at Lily. ‘Let me do the reading, girl,’ she said. ‘Winston can stick the dinner in the oven, keep it warm.’
Lily stood up. ‘I told you. I don’t want your bloody reading. Come on, Jack.’
Jack passed Suki his business card. ‘If you think of anything…’ he said, and she nodded.
They piled off down the stairs. Nothing gained at all. Now I’ve met them all face to face, thought Lily as they went out into the chilly night. Every one of them. And so what? It’s got me precisely nowhere.
Inside the flat, Suki started clearing the table. Winston was a keen cook; he didn’t really like to be kept waiting when he was ready to dish up. Bev was still in the bedroom, busy with another caller. Suki cleared away the bowl of potpourri, the stack of amethyst crystal, a much-thumbed copy of Heat magazine – and the single card she’d selected for Lily. Now she paused and after a second she flipped it over.
She gasped. Then she looked at the deck that Lily had just shuffled. After a moment’s hesitation, she started laying out more cards.
50
‘Hey babe,’ said Jase cheerily, standing there at the back door of The Fort clutching a huge bouquet of flowers.
Oli stared at him dubiously. She wasn’t returning his smile. Actually, her face ached too much for that, where he’d struck her. She’d never forget that he’d done that. And she really, really hadn’t wanted to let him in the gate. She should just have told him to go fuck himself, and she had been tempted to do that. But old habits died hard. So she’d let him in, and now he was standing there, giving her the big apologetic grin, laying on the famous Jase charm with a trowel.
All forgotten, right?
Wrong.
‘Only the best,’ he said, pushing forward into the kitchen so that Oli had to step back, ‘for my best girl.’
He held out the bouquet, the most gorgeous thing. All reds and purples, her favourite colours. Roses and lilies, it was exquisite. Lots of acid-green fern, a lavish length of scarlet satin ribbon, and a card with two linked hearts on the front of it.
Reluctantly, Oli took the peace offering.
She went over to the sink, put in the plug, ran in cold water, and plunged the stems into it. She didn’t look at the card.
Jase was closing the door behind him, coming to her, smiling, holding out something else. Oli looked at it. It was a large heart-shaped box of Godiva chocolates.
‘You like these, I know you do. The violet things.’
‘Violet creams,’ said Oli dully.
‘That’s the ones.’
And now he was coming closer, pulling her into his arms, nuzzling at her neck.
Oli stood there like wood.
Jesus, this was going to be tricky, thought Jase. He drew back, smiling down into her eyes, trying to work the old magic. He could see the yellowing bruise around her mouth. Shit, he shouldn’t have done that, what had he been thinking? But it would be okay. He was going to work this out, get everything back on track again.
‘You smell good,’ he said huskily.
‘Just had a bath,’ said Oli.
‘I should have come earlier, I could have scrubbed your back.’ He kissed her. ‘And other things.’
‘Jase…’ said Oli. She half turned in his grip, put the chocolates on the worktop.
‘Hush,’ he said, and kissed her. She felt his tongue pushing into her mouth. But it hurt. She pulled back, turned her head away.
‘What is it?’ asked Jase and, despite himself, he heard the anger in his own voice, felt it building up inside.
All right, he knew he shouldn’t have hit her. His old man had whacked his mum a few times, and it was bad, he knew it was bad. But Oli had been giving it all that, yacking on and on, and he had cracked and whopped her one, so it was more her fault than his really, wasn’t it? But he didn’t say that, he wouldn’t say that. It was time to be magnanimous, take the blame, grovel – which he hated to do; but he’d do it, he had to do it to make things right again.
‘Jase, I want to talk to you,’ said Oli, easing herself out of his arms.
‘Oh?’ Oh crap, now with the talking again. Why did women insist on talking all the time? But he had to humour her. Taking a breath and calming down a bit he said: ‘Okay, let’s talk then.’
Oli folded her arms over her body and stared at him. Not warmly, he noted. Her eyes were cold. This was not a good sign.
‘I could have just told you this over the intercom, but I don’t think that would be fair,’ she said, then paused and bit her lip. ‘I don’t want to see you any more, Jase. I’m sorry. It’s over.’
Jase nearly rocked back on his heels, so great was the shock of what he was hearing. Over? But for fuck’s sake, he’d apologized. He’d crawled. He’d brought her flowers and shit. And now she was saying it was over?
‘Oh come on,’ he said, and laughed, and gave her the hundred-megawatt grin that always made the girls drop their drawers. ‘You don’t mean that.’
‘Yeah, I do,’ said Oli. ‘It’s over, Jase. Finished.’
‘No.’
‘Yes, Jase. I just don’t feel the same way about you any more.’
‘Is this…’ He turned away from her, feeling angry, thwarted, fucking furious. ‘…Is this about that little tap I gave you?’
It was Oli’s turn to laugh. ‘You what? Don’t call it that, as if it was nothing. It was something all right. You hit me, Jase. And I don’t find that acceptable behaviour. And it’s done, okay? It’s finished.’
‘Listen,’ said Jase, stabbing at her with an accusing finger. ‘If you hadn’t been so fucking mouthy, I wouldn’t have been forced to do it.’
‘Forced?’ Oli’s eyes widened. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. He had lost control. He had hit her. And he was trying to make out it was all her fault?
‘You just kept on and on at me, Oli,’ he said, and she couldn’t believe it but he was now standing there looking pissed off, even hurt. ‘What was I supposed to do, just take it?’
Oli took a calming breath. She could see he was getting steamed up, and she didn’t like that. She remembered all too vividly what had happened the last time. But inside she felt sore, and sad. She’d thought it was love. She had adored him. And he’d killed it, stone-dead.
‘Maybe you should have just walked away,’ she said, turning from him with a shrug and a sigh. ‘Cooled down a bit.’
‘Yeah?’ Suddenly his hand was on her shoulder, spinning her around. His fingers dug into her flesh, hurting her, and she winced. ‘And maybe you should have just shut your fat mouth for once, Oli. How about that?’
There was rage in his eyes. The instant he released her, Oli backed away from him, feeling a chill of fear creep up her spine. Her shoulder stung; there’d be bruises. She swallowed. She should have done this the easy way. She could have dumped him by text. She could have told him over the intercom. But she had wanted to do this the right way, the civilized way, because there would have to be at the very least civility between them, seeing as they were certain to come into contact with each other. They went to the same places, moved in the same circles; there were things that they would have to address. She had wanted to do this right.
Now she saw that it was a mistake.
Jase raised his hands and clutched at his head and stared at her. ‘You silly bitch, this is a big deal for me,’ he spat out. ‘I…’ he seemed about to say something, then he changed his mind and thought again. ‘…I love you, Oli. Honest to God.’
‘No,’ said Oli quickly. ‘I don’t think you love me. I think you love the idea of me. Of getting in good with Uncle Si, and I’m a major part of that, ain’t that right? Get in with me, and Uncle Si will sweeten towards you. I know you’ve been having troubles, Jase, I hear the rumours, do you think I don’t? You’ve fallen out with Uncle Si, and Freddy’s mad at you over something.’
> ‘No. No! We sorted that,’ said Jase hurriedly, wondering what the hell was happening here, wondering why it was all falling apart in front of him, when he’d had it all planned out, all neat and tidy.
‘Yeah? Only what I’m thinking is, I’m your ticket back into the inner circle.’
‘No.’
‘Yeah, Jase. At least be honest with me.’
‘I’m being honest. I’m telling you, Oli, you’re breaking my damned heart here. I love you.’
‘You hit me.’
Jase let out a roar and turned away from her, closing his eyes. The dumb bitchl ‘I explained that. It was a lapse. A silly mistake.’
‘Yeah,’ said Oli coldly. ‘It was that all right. And how would you excuse the next time, Jase?’
He rushed towards her, exasperated. ‘There won’t be a next time,’ he yelled full in her face.
‘What’s going on here?’ asked a voice from the hall doorway.
They both turned. Lily was standing there. Oli felt her stomach unclench with relief. Jase just stared blankly at Lily for a moment, then turned back to Oli.
‘Ols…’ he murmured. The rage had dropped from him like a cloak. He’d gone from ballistic to normal in the blink of an eye.
Oli knew she was doing the right thing. She should have done this before; she should never have let things get as far as they had.
‘I’d like you to go now, Jase,’ she said quietly.
Lily moved further into the kitchen, her eyes glued to Jase. She’d wondered what the hell was kicking off, all that shouting and screaming, and she’d heard…Jesus, she’d heard them shouting about him hitting Oli. That bruise on Oli’s face was as she suspected. She hadn’t slipped on the drive. This bolshy little fucker had hit her.
‘Yeah,’ added Lily, and went over to the back door and opened it wide. ‘Off you go.’
Jase gave Oli one last despairing look, sent Lily a glance of pure hatred, and stormed past her out of the door. She shut it behind her, locked it. They heard his car starting up with an angry roar. The wheels threw up gravel as he sped off down the drive. After a moment, Oli walked over like an automaton to the intercom and opened the gates. They watched the screen as he sped out, swerved onto the lane, and with a screech of tyres he was gone. Oli pressed the button to close the gates. Her hand was shaking. She looked at Lily and suddenly her eyes were full of tears.
‘You all right?’ asked Lily, opening her arms wide.
Oli nodded, and after a moment’s hesitation she gave a gasp and flung herself into Lily’s warm embrace. ‘I’ve got to talk to you,’ she sobbed. ‘I’ve got to tell you.’
‘Shh,’ said Lily, smoothing a hand over her daughter’s hair. ‘Later, sweetie. Tell me later.’
‘No! I want to tell you now.’ Oli gulped and drew back a little, her eyes swimming with tears.
‘All right then. What is it?’
‘Mum…oh God, I’ve been so stupid. I think I could be pregnant.’
Jase sped off down the road, crashing through the gears, his brain a whirl. Behind him, he saw the gates closing. Saw his future vanishing in front of his eyes. Christ, his chest hurt. It really hurt now. Had to cut down on the steroids soon. First, he had to find a way round this. Had to do it, get the King bitch, had to drop Lily King dead at Freddy’s feet like a dog dropping a gift for its owner. But now Oli had kicked him into touch. Now he couldn’t just stroll in the house and get the cow, like he’d wanted. He’d tried getting her outside the house, but inside was best. Inside was where she felt safe, relaxed. Getting back in Oli’s good books had been key to that. But now he didn’t have an easy way in at all, because Oli had blown him out.
Bloody Oli. Stupid little mare. One small tap and she went apeshit. He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but he’d never do it again. Of course he wouldn’t. Never.
He had to find a way through this. Had to.
But Christ – his chest hurt.
51
Lily was in the indoor pool in the early evening, doing laps back and forth, revelling in the luxury of it now that it was warm and silky on her skin, just the way she liked it. But there wasn’t much else about her situation that she liked.
She was so sad about Saz – broken-hearted really – because Saz didn’t seem to be weakening, not even by an inch. Saz and Richard were out this evening, playing squash or something, and she was glad. The atmosphere in the house when Saz was here was just awful.
She was really worried about Oli, but glad that she’d split with Jase. From the moment she’d first seen him, she’d had a bad feeling about Jase. And now this. She was still trying to get her head around it.
Oli could be pregnant.
Oli had poured her heart out to her mother, telling her everything, that Jase had persuaded her not to take precautions but she should have insisted. She was late for her period; she was never late. And she knew she should have taken a test already, made sure one way or another, but she had been too frightened, too worried.
Lily was furious with that jumped-up little bastard. She hoped that it was a false alarm. She even hoped there was someone else on the scene, someone who’d make better father material than one of Si King’s heavies. She said this to Oli.
‘No,’ Oli had told her tearfully. ‘There’s no one else. I was in love with him, Mum. Really in love, but when he did that
Hit her, thought Lily, feeling a choking, icy rage taking hold of her.
When he did that, Oli had seen the light. Thank God. But…now there could be a child.
‘Do you…’ Lily had spoken slowly, choosing her words with care. ‘…If you are, do you want to go on with the pregnancy, Oli? And have you told Jase you could be?’
‘No, I ain’t told him yet,’ said Oli, discarding another wad of sodden tissues.
Lily patted her arm, passed her more.
‘But I’ll have to, sooner or later. ‘Cos if I am, I’m keeping the baby.’ Oli looked at her mother with anxious, red-rimmed eyes.
‘It’s your decision, Oli,’ said Lily.
‘I know. I’ve thought about it a lot. I’d want to keep it.’
Lily forced a smile onto her face and thought: Holy shit, I could be a grandmother.
She wasn’t even forty, and her daughter was maybe going to have a baby.
‘It’ll be fine,’ she told Oli firmly.
Oli sniffed and blew her nose loudly. ‘You know what? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…I’m so glad you’re back,’ she said.
Lily felt a warm glow as Oli said that. Lily knew she’d patched things up with Oli, and she was grateful for it. Saz’s early return had cooled things down a bit – Oli was clearly torn between loyalty to her sister and to her mum, and it showed. But Oli had turned to her in this time of crisis; Oli was on her side. Whether her relationship with Saz was beyond saving or not – well, that was in the lap of the gods. All she could do was be here, much as Saz didn’t want that. All she could do was be ready to welcome Saz with open arms when the moment came. If it did.
There were other things to concern her too, and she was busy mulling them over as she swam. She’d met all Leo’s girls now. And a fat lot of good it had done her. She listed them in her head.
Adrienne Thomson, wife of dull, worthy accountant Matt. Easy to see why Adrienne had embraced a tasty bit of rough like Leo.
Alice Blunt. Poor, demented girl, obsessed with Leo and ready to self-harm to force him closer. Now she was dead, drowned at her own hand.
Reba Stuart. Hard as nails and twice as nasty. On the bash for a living in those days, but now a madam. Maybe Reba was the sort of woman Leo should have married, not quiet, mousy Lily. A woman as tough as he was.
Then there was Julia. Poor scarred, once-beautiful Julia, hiding away from the world that judged her and found her ugly.
And the last two – Suki and Bev. A double act. She was willing to bet Leo had found that a huge turn-on, having two nearly identical women at once.
But the question was – ha
d one of Leo’s whores killed him? Had one of them – just as a ‘for instance’ – disliked him boffing half the country, and kicked off on a grand scale?
It was a question to which she still didn’t have an answer. However, as she floated, thoughts drifted through her head. Adrienne drifted through; Adrienne who had kept a list of all Leo’s other women, who had been so proprietorial about Leo that she had hired Jack to trace them. But then, Adrienne had been a bit older than Leo, and just that bit more eager to hang onto him when the alternative was married life with Matt – or ‘Door-Matt’, as their circle of friends had called him behind his back all those years ago. Adrienne had walked all over the poor git, that was a fact, but he’d soaked it up, more fool him. He’d even stuck with her when it all blew up over Leo’s killing and her involvement with him.
Matt, the poor bastard, toiling away over his books and adding up columns of figures for the firm to keep Adrienne in clover. Had she been grateful? Lily didn’t think so. She’d mocked him to her friends. Laughed publicly about the size of his prick. Really, that wasn’t nice. And maybe – maybe –Matt had been more aware of his wife’s behaviour than any of them had realized. Studious Matt, wearing thick glasses; not bad looking but, oh God, such a boring little man. Small wonder Adrienne had looked elsewhere for her excitement, and wanted to cling to it – and keep it to herself.
Jack had done his bit. He’d traced Leo’s other women for a second time, presented them to Lily on a plate. And now…what? She’d got nowhere, really. All she’d done was make herself feel sick to her stomach at the thought of what a meek, silly little homebody she had been, while Leo had been out on the lash, indulging his huge sex drive with all these other women.
Lily swam to the edge of the pool and hauled herself out. She was tired. Christ, it had been a quieter life in jail. Nothing to think about; nothing much to worry over. Whereas out here, she was overwhelmed with it all. And, feeling overwhelmed, she longed to call Nick, longed to see him.
