by Jessie Keane
Maeve was crying now, great fat tears rolling down her face. Si kept hold of her arm and started walking her back to where Lily was still in the pool, half submerged in the water. Maeve’s feet were dragging, but Si was yanking her after him, and now she was saying, Please Si, I didn’t mean to do it, I didn’t mean it.
Twelve years too late. Lily stood there waist-deep in water, her hair plastered to her head, her clothes sodden. Si stopped walking and looked down at her in the pool. His face looked gaunt, grey. All of a sudden she knew what Si King was going to look like when he was an old, old man.
‘I didn’t mean to do it, Si, I didn’t,’ Maeve was gabbling on, tears pouring down her face.
‘Shut the fuck up,’ said Si.
Maeve fell silent.
Si looked down at Lily.
Shit, he’s not going to say sorry, is he? wondered Lily, and she felt a freakish desire to laugh, or cry. She wasn’t quite sure which.
‘I’ll sort this,’ he said instead. He stared down at Lily for long moments. ‘Okay?’
Lily gulped down a breath, aware suddenly that she hadn’t dared breathe at all for some time. She looked up at Si, who had been her enemy for so long that she had almost become accustomed to the fact. The last time they had been like this – her in the pool, Si looking down on her – he had been trying to drown her. Si had hated her just about forever. But now they both knew the truth.
Lily nodded. ‘Okay,’ she said.
And Si King, brother of the late lamented Leo, pulled his wife from the pool room. He didn’t leave Leo’s Magnum behind, and Lily was glad about that. Let the damned thing go now, what did she care?
The door slammed shut behind them.
71
Feeling close to collapse, Lily swam to the side of the pool and dragged herself out. She sat there, exhausted, slowly getting her breath back. She was aware of Saz moving at the other end of the pool, but she couldn’t focus on anything right now. Saz came and sat down beside her, handing her a towel. Lily nodded. She didn’t feel she could speak. Not yet.
‘Are you all right?’ asked Saz. ‘I thought she was going to kill you.’
Lily let out a mirthless laugh. ‘You know what? So did I.’
She started drying her face and hair.
‘What d’you think’s going to happen to her?’ asked Saz quietly.
‘How the hell should I know?’ snapped Lily, and now she did feel like speaking, she felt angry, she felt furious. She had to spit some of this bile out, or bust. ‘How did you get back in here, Saz? Come on. Tell me. How the fuck did you get in here, and lead all that straight in after you?’
Saz shrugged and her face clouded. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.
‘Stuff your sorry, Saz.’
‘I…I always had a way in. It was like a game, beating the security systems.’
‘A game?’ Lily turned her head and stared hard at her daughter. Her cheek wasn’t bleeding any more, but there was a lump the size of an egg coming up there that was going to be one hell of a bruise. ‘You brought Jase in.’
‘Only because he said he wanted to surprise Oli, propose to her!’ Saz’s face was naked, pleading. ‘They’d had a row and he told me he wanted to get back in her good books. I couldn’t see any harm in it.’
Lily was silent, thinking. ‘Is Oli okay?’ she said at last.
Saz nodded. Then her face grew troubled. ‘I think…I think Jase is dead.’
Lily had a brief horror-flick running in her brain when Saz said that. Freddy grabbing Jase’s neck and wrenching it round. The noise. Crack!
She shuddered. Then she looked at Saz. ‘Tell me what you were sorry about,’ she said.
‘What?’
‘When you were sleepwalking. You kept saying over and over, “I’m sorry, Daddy.” What was that about? Do you know?’
Saz lowered her head. ‘I came in that night. The night he died.’
I’m sorry, Daddy…
The words echoed in Lily’s brain, Saz’s voice, the voice of a nine-year-old girl coming from the mouth of a woman.
Leo with one of his tarts in the master suite, Saz coming up the stairs. Surprise, daddy! And then seeing what was happening on the bed, seeing and maybe even understanding; thinking, But I’m his best girl. And that ain’t Mummy.
Lily could see it in her mind’s eye. Saz creeping back downstairs to the study, slipping on those special gloves Leo had bought for her, getting the key to the gun cabinet out of the desk drawer, opening the cabinet, loading the gun, she was used to loading the gun, Leo had taught her how. And then going back upstairs…and blowing Leo away.
‘I was going to surprise him,’ Saz said. ‘I climbed up the stairs, and I thought I would surprise him, I loved him so much.’ Her eyes filled with tears. After a moment’s hesitation, Lily reached out a hand and squeezed her daughter’s hand.
‘But,’ Saz went on, heaving a heavy sigh, ‘he wasn’t alone.’
‘Oh Saz,’ said Lily mournfully. ‘Did you see him in bed with another woman?’
‘No. I saw…’ Saz’s head whipped round and she stared into Lily’s eyes. Then she closed her eyes tight, blocking the memory, her face screwing up with pain.
‘It’s okay. Go on,’ said Lily reassuringly. She was holding Saz’s hand tight now. ‘What did you see, Saz?’
‘Oh God,’ said Saz, and she started to cry. ‘I saw you.’
Lily stared at Saz. ‘What?’ she said faintly.
‘I saw you,’ sobbed Saz. ‘I…I saw you. But it wasn’t you, was it? I’ve been so stupid. I saw a blonde woman in a dark suit, holding the gun. It was smoking; there was the smell of the stuff, cordite, and I could see that Daddy was on the floor. The woman was in the doorway of the master suite; she was facing away from me. It was your hairstyle, and you always wore those dark suits, you remember?’
Lily remembered.
I wanted your life, Maeve had said.
‘But it wasn’t you at all, was it? I thought it was you, but it was Aunt Maeve.’
‘Shh,’ said Lily, and put an arm around Saz’s shuddering shoulders. ‘Hush, it’s all right. It’s all over now. Tell me why you were sorry, Saz. Just tell me that.’
‘I was sorry because I…I didn’t protect him,’ wailed Saz. ‘You’d been arguing a lot in the weeks before that, do you remember?’
Oh yeah, Lily remembered. She’d thought Leo was playing around, taking the piss. And he’d said she was going off her head. She had actually started to believe him, had started to think she was going crazy. She remembered the rows. Remembered them well. But she had tried – they had both tried – to keep all that shit away from the girls. Obviously they hadn’t tried hard enough.
‘I thought you’d finally lost it and killed him. I saw you there. So I was glad when they locked you away. I was glad.’
Saz started to cry again, but more softly now. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry, Mum. And I’ve been phoning you, and saying nothing. Trying to freak you. I’ve been a total bitch, I’m so sorry.’
Lily’s, eyes filled with tears too. For the first time in twelve years, Saz had called her Mum. It was a moment she would never forget.
‘Don’t be sorry,’ she said gently, and she pulled Saz’s head down onto her shoulder and stroked her silky hair. She was crying herself now, but they were tears of joy; at last, at last, she had her daughter back. ‘Don’t be sorry, baby. It’s all gone now; it’s all over. We’ll start from here, okay? We’ll start all over again.’
72
‘Purbright Securities,’ said Jack Rackland.
‘Oh for God’s sake, don’t worry about all that now,’ said Lily, wishing she could have brought Jack flowers, but they didn’t like flowers on this hospital ward because of MRSA. ‘Look at the state of you. Jack, you look like shit.’
‘Oh, thank you,’ croaked Jack, and lay back on the pillows.
He’d come out of intensive care three days ago, spent a day in high care and then been transferred onto a normal ward. He’
d had a lot of transfusions. He was a mess of bruises, bandages and bloody stapled cuts, and he was just about as white as the pillowcase his mussed-up dirty-blond head rested on. But he was alive, and Lily had been sure she’d been looking at a corpse the day Winston had gone for him with that machete.
‘I’m not worried about it, I’m just telling you, that’s all,’ said Jack.
‘Can I get you anything. A glucose drink? A bottle to pee in?’ She smiled. She was just so damned pleased to see him there in one piece.
‘Look, this is undignified enough, without you taking the…Let’s get back to the case. Purbright Securities.’
‘Yeah, okay, who runs that? Who was paying for Alice’s care?’ Lily thought she already knew the answer, but she didn’t want to steal Jack’s thunder.
‘Can you hear something?’ asked Jack.
Lily could. There were raised voices in the corridor, coming closer.
‘What do you mean I can’t take flowers in?’ yelled a female voice.
‘Uh-oh,’ said Jack.
Lily poked her head out the door. A very short, angry-looking woman carrying a huge bouquet of flowers was tip-tapping imperiously down the corridor, heading for Jack’s room, while a couple of nurses tried to detain her.
‘What does Monica look like?’ Lily asked him.
‘Don’t bother to ask. That’s what she sounds like. They notified her when I was brought in – she’s still my wife after all, my next of kin. She’s been in and out ever since, and every time she gives the nurses all that about the sodding flowers. They’ve told her, and still she keeps bringing the bloody things in. That woman is a nightmare. Look, as I was saying – Purbright Securities.’
‘Yeah, go on.’ Lily was bright-eyed with interest.
‘Purbright Securities is a division of Sunstyle Security Systems.’
Lily remembered the security guy in the kitchen altering the codes, and Oli telling her he was from Sunstyle Securities.
‘Directors?’ she asked.
‘Now that’s the interesting part…’ He hesitated, aiming for impact.
‘Oh, cut to the chase, Jack.’
So he did. Lily looked gobsmacked, then she laughed out loud. ‘That other thing I asked you to look into…’
‘Jesus, have a heart! I’m in hospital, for Christ’s sake.’
‘But did you get a chance…?’
‘Yeah, I got a chance. Checked the birth certificate. You were right, his old man’s name’s not on there.’
‘Terrific’
Monica arrived at the door. She took one look at Jack.
‘Oh Jack – baby!’ she crooned, and ran forward and flung herself upon him, flowers and all. ‘How are you today? Are you feeling any better?’ Monica was dropping kisses and pollen and petals all over Jack’s bruised and bloodied face.
‘Ow! Fuck me, girl, have a heart,’ he complained, but he was nearly smiling.
‘Um…I’d better go,’ said Lily, edging towards the door.
At that, Monica extricated herself from Jack’s bed of pain and fastened a gorgon-like glare upon Lily. ‘And who the fuck are you?’ she demanded.
‘Just a friend,’ said Lily. She gave Jack one last smile. ‘Thanks, Jack. For everything.’ She had already decided that she was going to slip a little bonus in for Jack sometime soon – by God, he’d earned it.
‘Pleasure,’ said Jack, and managed a wink.
Lily went on home, and left Jack to Monica.
73
Some days later they visited the grave together, all three of them; Lily and her two daughters, arm in arm. And although Lily hadn’t been able to take flowers to the living, now she took flowers to the dead. They stood there solemnly in the graveyard and looked down at the beautifully carved and embellished black marble headstone.
Here Rests Leo King
Died 1996
Beloved Brother and Father
Sadly missed
There were a few red roses wilting in the urn. Lily took them out, replaced them with fresh ones – white this time.
‘Who put these here?’ she asked the girls, curious.
‘Nick comes every week,’ said Saz. ‘He leaves the roses. I’ve seen him here a couple of times. He must have loved Dad a lot; they were such good friends.’
Lily stood up and they were silent again, staring at the headstone.
‘Do you think Aunt Maeve really went abroad?’ asked Saz.
Lily nodded, sure I do. A few days after Maeve had pointed the Magnum at Lily’s head, Becks had told her that Maeve had phoned and said she was flying out to her and Si’s villa in Marbella for a long break.
Lily had said nothing, only expressed mild interest. But secretly, she thought that this was the deal: if you took a plane out to Malaga, and if you then booked a taxi ride to Marbella and pitched up at the villa door, Maeve would not be there to open it. Wherever she was, whatever had happened to her, was between her and Si. Lily knew she had to let that go now.
‘I still miss him,’ said Saz. Lily looked at her. Saz was shaping up now; she was even being nicer to that poor tolerant sap Richard.
‘Yeah, me too,’ said Oli sadly.
Lily wondered if Oli missed Jase, too. That night, that horrible night when she had thought Maeve was going to shoot her dead, came back to her full-force then. She remembered that she and Saz had staggered out into the hall, supporting each other, to find Oli sitting alone in a state of shock on the bottom stair.
There had been no Si, no Maeve. No Freddy. And no Jase. Only Oli, and when she’d seen them coming out of the swimming pool room she had cried out and run to them and they had stood there, the three of them, for a long time, clutching at each other, hugging each other tight, knowing that they had by some miracle come through something fearful, something that could have ended very differently indeed.
Now Lily put an arm around each of her daughters, relishing the warm feel of them, unable to quite believe her luck. She was out of prison. Si had taken care of Maeve, Lily was free, and the King boys were off her back. It had to be enough for her. Hell, it was.
She was back with her girls, and they really were her girls again. Her beloved daughters, her family. Thoughts of family took Lily’s mind to her mother. The girls didn’t know their grandmother at all, and she felt bad about that. She couldn’t let her own difficult relationship with her mother ruin the girls’ chances of knowing their only surviving grandparent, could she? She decided that she would try again with the cantankerous old witch, introduce her to the girls, see what unfolded. Family was important.
She thought again of Leo – big, ebullient, laughing Leo, who could fill a room with the sheer immensity of his personality. He’d given her the gift of these two lovely girls, and – finally – she found that she could forgive him for all the rest. She knew she hadn’t been blameless; she’d never loved him as a wife should: he must have known it. He wasn’t a fool.
‘He’d be so proud of you both,’ she said, knowing it was true. Leo had loved his girls. He had even, in his slightly skewed way, loved her. Bye Leo, she thought with a faint pang of sadness.
Then Saz said to Lily: ‘Mum, Oli and me have been thinking. Um…about selling the house.’
Lily looked in surprise at Saz. Then at Oli. Then she shrugged. ‘Well, I think it’s probably a good thing. It’s…sort of a sad place now, ain’t that the truth?’
‘Yeah, it is,’ said Oli.
It was over. And – yes – it was time to move on.
‘Saz?’ she asked her elder daughter. ‘Is that what you really want? To sell?’
Saz was nodding. ‘Yeah, and we also thought that, maybe, we could split the proceeds three ways. Matt could help us sort out the details. A share for you, me and Oli. What do you think?’
Lily looked at each of them in turn. They both looked faintly embarrassed, a little worried. ‘I think you’re a pair of bloody diamonds, that’s what I think,’ said Lily with a smile.
Saz relaxed. She sighed, loo
ked again at the headstone. ‘Oli’s right. It’s been sad there.’
‘We’ll have one last blow-out,’ said Lily. ‘A big party. Then we go. Okay?’
Saz and Oli nodded.
‘Okay,’ said Lily, and led her girls away from their father’s grave.
74
That evening she sat alone in the study at The Fort and watched the tape again. There was Leo, larger than life, talking to her, telling her that if she was watching this, then he was dead.
‘Oh Leo,’ said Lily, and she cried a bit for the loss of him then, the big bruiser who was the father of her girls, the one who could always make them all laugh; Leo the wide boy, the crook, the charmer, the philanderer – just like his dear old dad Bubba King had been.
One more time she watched it right to the end.
‘The boys will look after you. I love you, Lils,’ he said, and then there was nothing but white noise, and Leo was gone.
‘You bastard,’ she said softly, and then laughed through her tears. The boys will look after you. He had said that again and again throughout the tape.
She couldn’t even raise an ironic laugh at that any more, it was too sad. Oh, she didn’t doubt her troubles with Si and that lunatic Freddy were at an end. They had their culprit; she was in the clear. But look after her? No. She was on her own.
She thought again about Purbright Securities, a division of Sunstyle. She thought of one of the directors whose name Jack had given her; it was that firm that had paid for Alice’s care and fitted The Fort’s security system. She thought: The boys will look after you. Thought of Bubba King, Leo’s father, and Leo’s ‘boys’.
The house was silent all around her. The wall had been repaired, there was no way in now, no way out except through the gates. The security system was working. If you breached it, the alarm would go off – somewhere. Leo had always said it didn’t go off here, what was the point of it clanging away out here in the arse end of nowhere? It went off…well, he hadn’t specified. But she had always assumed it went straight to the local cop shop.
But wait a minute.
