Kaya rested her head against his shoulder, for once not wanting to kiss, because it would feel like saying goodbye. “I hope you know it was mutual. I don’t think I had any idea what it was really like to love someone until I met you. Thank you for that. My books will be richer, because I knew you.” Something good would come out of the heartache, and she had to concentrate on that.
“Are you hungry?” he asked quietly. They had less than twenty-four hours left together, but he wanted to make the most of every one of them.
“Yeah, a little. Where do you want to eat?”
He shrugged, feeling a little lost. This was the first time he’d seen Kaya at a loss for words. She seemed almost despondent. He was used to her getting excited about every little thing and talking nonstop. His heart ached, knowing it was their upcoming separation that was doing this to her.
“We could go to my house and cook together?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I have to pack tonight.”
“What time is your flight?” he asked.
“Eleven. We’ll leave for the airport at eight to make sure we’re there on time.”
“How are you going to get up at eight?” He led her back to the truck, opening her door for her and making sure she was settled. Her sadness was almost scary.
“I’ll probably stay up all night. We’ve been up all night writing together every night, but tonight, we’re going to all pack and have a movie night. We need our bonding time together as much as we needed our writing time.” She felt badly that she’d spent so much time hanging out with him and not her friends. She knew they understood, but she could have been a better friend to them. They’d be standing by her, and he would soon forget her.
“What time are you planning to start all that?” he asked, hating the idea of cutting their time short for it, but understanding her need to be with her friends. They were why she’d come to Idaho after all.
“Not ’til nine or ten. We have some time.” The truth was she could stay out later, but she wasn’t sure if her heart could handle more time with him. She needed to cut her losses and head back to Texas.
“Okay. We’ll go into Post Falls for Mexican. Will that work?”
She nodded. She wasn’t a fan of Mexican food outside of Texas, but she could eat it for him. “Sounds good.”
The drive to the restaurant was spent in silence. Kaya was drinking in the beautiful scenery she’d grown used to in Idaho and thinking about everything she’d miss. She felt like she was being sentenced to prison being sent back to Texas. How could you return to the mundane when you’d spent two weeks in paradise?
She managed to make conversation over the meal, trying not to make him feel like an ogre. He’d done nothing wrong. He’d been honest and forthright from the very beginning. She just hadn’t let his honesty stop her, and that was her mistake, not his.
On their way back to the ranch, he said, “I took tomorrow off work so that I can take you to the airport. I’m not ready to say goodbye tonight.”
Kaya felt a tear trickle down her cheek, and she turned her head away, looking out the window so he wouldn’t see. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s going to be hard enough to say goodbye to May and Liz at the airport. I will be an absolute mess if I have to say goodbye to you there as well. No, you go to work, and we’ll say goodbye tonight.” Her heart couldn’t handle anything else.
Glen swallowed the lump in his throat at her words. “So I won’t see you again after I drop you off?”
“No. I’m sorry. I wrote down my email address and my phone number, so you can call me when you’re ready.”
He sighed. “I don’t want you waiting for me.”
“I know you don’t. That doesn’t change the fact that I will.” She squirmed in the seat as she reached into her front shorts pocket to pull out the paper, opening his glove box and putting it there for him. “Now you won’t lose it.”
He stopped then, in front of the cabin, unbuckling his seat belt. “My life is going to feel so empty without you in it,” he said hoarsely.
She sniffled, doing her best not to cry in front of him. “You’ll have the children to work with. With as hard as you’ve worked to get where you are, you need to focus on what you have, not on what you’ll be losing.”
He unfastened her seatbelt and pulled her across the seat to him. He didn’t try to kiss her, but instead he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you too.” More words than that were simply beyond her as she clung to him. He’d become so much to her in such a short time. “I love you, Glen.” She kissed his lips softly before extracting herself from his embrace. “Think of me.” She slid across the seat, opened the door, and walked calmly to the cabin.
After she’d shut the door behind her, she realized her friends were both staring at her, and May had tears in her eyes. “You know what I need more than anything else in the whole world?” Kaya asked, tears streaming down her face.
“What?” May asked, obviously willing to give her anything.
“A boobie bump.”
May sighed. “You know I hate it when you call hugs that.”
Kaya nodded. “I do. But I need it right now.”
“All right. Let’s bump boobies.” May hurried to her and hugged her tightly.
“What have you done to get ready for movie night?” Kaya asked. “I’m expecting popcorn and brownies and ice cream.”
Liz laughed. “We’ve got it all. Let’s get packed, and then we’ll have the best movie night ever.”
Kaya smiled. “How are you going to drive all day after staying up all night?”
“I’m going to sleep at Joni’s after I dump you two at the airport.”
“Just so there’s a plan…”
* * *
Glen sat in the driveway staring at the closed door for a long time after Kaya went in. The pain in his chest was almost unbearable. He put his hand on the handle of the door, sure he couldn’t let her go! How could he face life without her?
He sighed, putting his hand back on the steering wheel. He couldn’t face himself in the mirror if he gave up all his plans and dreams for a woman. Any woman. Even if she was the only girl he’d ever met who completed him so perfectly. Kaya was something special, but he had to let her go. He had her number, and he prayed that when he was ready to ask, she would still be waiting for him as promised.
He leaned forward resting his head on the wheel. He just had to remember the strength that had gotten him through graduate school and to the cusp of getting his doctorate. He was a strong capable man, and he had a mission in life.
He took a deep breath and slowly backed out of the driveway, knowing if she so much as peeked out the window to see if he was still there, he’d change his mind and beg her to stay.
* * *
Saying goodbye at the airport was even harder than Kaya had thought it would be. She and May said goodbye to Liz at the car, but they went through security together, and were able to sit close. Their gates were right next to each other.
“I hope you and Sara have a good time,” Kaya said swiping away another tear.
“I’m sorry I’m not flying home with you. I’m a little worried about you. Are you going to be all right?” May asked, frowning at her friend.
Kaya nodded, looking down at her hands. “I will, because I have to be. You know me. I look at the bright side and think positively. I’ll be just fine. I think I’ll probably spend a week mourning, and then I’ll pull myself up by my bootstraps and move on with my life.”
“Just promise me if you meet someone else, you’ll be able to really move on with your life. He’s made it clear he’s ready to move on.”
Kaya shrugged, refusing to lie to her friend, but knowing she’d wait forever. How could she ever settle for second best? Glen was the man she was meant to be with. “They
’re calling my flight.”
May got to her feet and the two women embraced. May whispered, “Boobie bump!” in Kaya’s ear, but even that didn’t make Kaya laugh.
“I’ll see you online, but I’m going to bug you in a couple of months to go to lunch with me.”
“See that you do! My aunt Sally will be in town tomorrow to get my laptop. Thanks for taking it back with you. I know if I take it to New York, I’ll be working instead of playing, and I’m going there to play.”
Kaya nodded. “It’s no problem.” She walked toward the plane, knowing that leaving Idaho was the wrong thing to do, but she had no choice in the matter.
* * *
Kaya found her friend Jenni at baggage claim, and she gave her a half-hearted smile. “Thanks for coming to get me.” She didn’t want Jenni to realize how upset she was, but she wasn’t sure there was a way to hide it. Not with the way she was feeling.
“No problem! I have today off for a doctor’s appointment anyway.” Jenni patted her burgeoning belly.
“I appreciate it though.” Kaya kept her face averted, knowing Jenni would be able to tell how sad she was.
“How was your flight?”
“It was nice. May talked me into flying first class, and though I’ll probably never be able to do it again, I will now always lament that I have to have my legs all scrunched up in coach, because I know there’s better!”
Jenni laughed. “I’ve never flown coach, so I don’t really get the big deal about flying first.”
Kaya shook her head at her friend. “Only someone born with a silver spoon in her mouth would be able to be so blasé about it.”
Jenni’s eyes widened, and she stared at Kaya. “You met someone!”
“Oh, there’s my suitcase,” Kaya said, ignoring her friend’s statement. “I need to get something wild like May has. She never loses her luggage.”
Jenni frowned, grabbing Kaya’s arm as she struggled to put her computer bag onto the handle of her big suitcase. “He broke your heart, didn’t he? Oh, Kaya, I’m so sorry!”
Kaya continued to fidget with her bags, dashing at a tear that had escaped. She wanted to wait until she was home to cry. Who stood in airports sobbing like a baby? “This is everything. I’m ready when you are.”
Jenni led the way to her car, out of the airport into the heat of the Texas summer. “It’s one-hundred-and-two today. Welcome home.”
Kaya sighed. “Idaho was beautiful. The temperature was perfect every day. Warm enough to swim, but still cool enough that we needed sweaters in the evenings.”
“Sounds glorious,” Jenni said as she unlocked her car. “I’m going to get the air conditioner going. It’s not like I can help you put anything in anyway.”
“Sounds good!” Kaya put her computer bag and suitcase in the back and took a few deep breaths of the stale air in the smog-filled airport parking garage. She had to get herself calm before she got into the car with Jenni. She didn’t want to talk about Glen. She just wanted to get home so she could cry for a week or two.
Climbing into the passenger seat, she buckled her seatbelt and turned the vents toward her face to get their maximum effect. Jenni pulled out of her spot and started to mingle with the airport traffic. “Tell me about him. And don’t deny he exists. I need to know if I should fly to Idaho and beat him up!”
Kaya laughed, a sound that was still sad somehow, and unrecognizable as her own. “His name is Glen, and he’s six-five and all muscle. I wouldn’t recommend you fly up there to try to beat him up.”
Jenni frowned. “I’ll send Tony then!”
“Honestly, he did nothing wrong. I saw him, and instantly fell in love. You know I believe there’s one perfect man for every woman. Well, he’s that perfect man for me.”
“Did you spend your whole vacation chasing the man?” Jenni asked as she swerved in and out of traffic. Kaya and Jenni had been roommates in college, and Jenni knew Kaya was capable of all sorts of crazy things.
“Not at all. I tracked him down at lunch the day after I first saw him, and we had a picnic together. He admitted to me that he had feelings too, but he wasn’t in the market. He’s got life plans that don’t include marriage at this point.”
“So you were smart and avoided him for the rest of the trip?” Jenni’s voice had taken on a pleading note. She obviously knew Kaya would never take the path of least resistance. It just wasn’t in her friend to do so.
“Nope. We saw each other every day. He told me he wasn’t interested in a girlfriend so I kissed him and made a date with him for the next day.” Kaya tilted her head back, rolling her neck to get the kinks out of her neck. “He loves me. I love him. But I came home. I told him I’d wait until he’s ready, and he told me not to. I put my number in his glove box and said goodbye. That’s it. Relationship over.”
“Are you okay?”
Kaya shrugged. “I will be. I’ll cry for a few days, and then I’ll move on with my life.”
“Do you want to come stay with us for a while? We have spare rooms.”
“No, I really don’t. Being alone is a better answer for me right now. I need some time. I’d feel like I had to be cheerful if I was with other people. I really need to cry it out.”
“If you change your mind, let me know. I hate the idea of you being alone right now. What about Bridget? She’d distract you?”
Kaya glared at her friend. “I’d have to kill her. No, I’m going to spend some time alone wallowing. In fact, I’m going to make a wallow schedule. I have exactly one week to wallow, and then I get to move on with my life.”
“I could give you Dr. Lachele’s number. If you were in a new relationship, you might be able to forget about Glen.”
Kaya shuddered, hating the thought of another man touching her or kissing her. For her it was Glen or no one. “Nope. I’m going to do this my way, but thank you.”
Jenni parked in front of Kaya’s building. “Do you want me to come in?”
“No, I really just want to be alone. Thank you, though. I’ll hit the grocery store today, and then I won’t need to worry about going anywhere for a few days.”
“Do you want me to shop with you? I know how much you hate to drive.”
Kaya opened her door. “I love that you care so much, but I need to do this on my own.”
She got her luggage and waved, dragging it around to the back of the building to her first-floor apartment. She turned her air conditioning down, and threw herself onto her bed, crying her heart out. She didn’t want to be home. She didn’t want to be in her apartment. And most importantly, she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life without Glen.
Chapter Ten
For the first couple of weeks after Kaya left, Glen threw himself into his work. He did some of the renovations that were still needing to be done after he got home from work every night, so he’d be so tired when he finally went to bed, he wouldn’t be able to lay awake thinking about her, but she was always in his dreams, haunting him.
At the end of the third week, he decided to go talk to Jaclyn. He didn’t put the kind of faith in her everyone else did, but he was willing to try anything. Maybe she could tell him how to get over Kaya.
He walked to her house on Thursday at lunchtime, surprised when she was standing on the doorstep, her arms folded over her chest glaring at him. “Get your butt inside, Glen Johnson. We have some talking to do. Hot tea or milk with your cookies?”
“Tea, I guess.” Glen wasn’t sure why she’d been waiting for him, but she’d obviously known he was coming.
“You sit down and wait for me. I’ll only be a minute. Water’s already on for tea.” Jaclyn disappeared into the kitchen while he sat down in a chair after removing two rabbits from it.
He’d never been inside Jaclyn’s house before, preferring to believe she was insane like so many others did. He looked around, not at all surprised about all the whimsical decorations covering the walls. There was a black and white picture of a policeman in uniform on an end table
, and he wanted to pick it up and look at it, but he was afraid Jaclyn would slap his hand away.
She came back with a tray, which she set on the table. She gave him a plate full of cookies and a cup of tea. “So you finally figured it out, did you?”
Glen shook his head. “Figured what out?”
“What the rest of us have known since we saw the two of you together for the first time a month ago. You can’t live without her.”
“I knew her for two weeks!” he protested. “She’s been gone longer than she was ever here. But…I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop dreaming about her. I hear her crying in my sleep.” He shook his head. “You have to tell me how to get over her.”
“Get over her? Have you lost your ever-loving mind? You need to find some way to get her back, you imbecile!”
Glen blinked at Jaclyn a few times. “I’ve only heard about how kind and nice you are. Am I in the wrong place?”
Jaclyn took a sip of her tea, studying Glen over the top of it. “If I told you that you had diabetes, and you would die unless you took insulin, what would you do?”
“I guess I’d take insulin.” What an odd question. She really is insane.
“If I told you that you had pneumonia, and you’d die without an antibiotic, what would you do?”
Glen sighed. “I’d take the antibiotic.”
“You and Kaya are meant to be together. Neither of you will function well apart. You’re two halves of a whole. Now what will you do?”
“I guess I need to figure out how to get her back to Idaho.” He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. “She gave me her phone number. I’ll call her.” He realized then this was why he’d come to her. Not to be told how to get over her, but to be told he needed to get her back. He couldn’t let himself make the decision on his own, but if someone else gave him the advice…well, it just felt like it was okay that way.
“No.”
“No?” Hadn’t she just said he should get her back in Idaho?
Ranch's Retreat (River's End Ranch Book 6) Page 10
