I double-checked my room, crawling around on my hands and knees. He wasn’t in there. I searched the hall and the bathroom. I didn’t see him on the steps going downstairs and he wasn’t that fast. He had to be upstairs. And the first door I looked at, right across from mine, was the off-limits room.
I stood quietly in the hall. It was so early everyone else was still asleep. I’d have to sneak in there. If Earl was inside, I needed to get him out. Luckily, Billy had shown me how to open a locked door when we were snooping around his house looking for hidden Christmas presents. I tiptoed into the bathroom, slid open a drawer on the vanity, and searched for a big bobby pin. There were plenty to choose from in the jumble of rollers and hair clips. I straightened one out, went back in the hall, and stood in front of the door hoping my hand would stop shaking. Taking a deep breath, I stuck the bobby pin in the lock on the off-limits room doorknob, and turned it like a key. I jumped when I heard the lock pop, and I scanned the hallway. Had Grandma heard it too? She had a better chance of hearing my heart, it was pounding so hard.
My hand closed around the cold metal knob and I gripped it, frozen in place. Something felt stuck in my throat and I tried to swallow. I closed my eyes and turned the knob. Slowly, I pushed open the door and stood there for a moment with my foot in the air before setting it down inside the room. It was dark, with the shades drawn. Spider webs hung down from the ceiling like gauzy drapes. The room smelled musty and I sneezed. I froze, wondering if anyone had heard that. My heart was beating faster and faster the longer I stood there.
Once my eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, I took a better look around the room. A big desk sat at one end covered with papers and trinkets: a brass elephant, a pencil holder, and a crystal paperweight shaped like a duck. On the other side of the room a cabinet with a blanket covering it was pushed up against the wall. Were all of Grandma’s secrets hiding in there? I wanted to peek behind that blanket, but there were boxes stacked up all over the floor and against the walls, so I couldn’t make it across the room.
Pictures hung on the walls from the floor up to the ceiling. I crept over for a closer look. There were so many, my eyes didn’t know where to settle. I paused in front of a wedding picture. Grandma’s wedding picture. She wasn’t smiling, but the older man next to her was. I wondered if that was her daddy or her husband. My grandpa, the dead animal trophy hunter. The man in the photo was bald, with a big belly. Grandma looked just like Charlene, with dark hair curling past her shoulders. I ran my finger across the glass, leaving a streak in the dust. Nearby, there was another picture with a whole bunch of bunnies and chickens. I wanted to investigate, but I heard a noise behind me that sounded like one of the dead animals growling.
I jumped. It wasn’t an animal; it was worse. Way worse. It was Grandma, making that deep humming noise of hers. And Earl was right by her feet. I dove and grabbed my turtle before she saw him.
“I told you this room is off-limits!” she hollered. “What do you think you’re doing?”
I looked up at her from the floor, cupping Earl in my hands. “I … I … I …”
I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Soon Mama was in the doorway, tying her robe. “What’s going on in here?”
Grandma pointed at me. “This little hooligan of yours broke in my room and started snooping around. I told her this room was off-limits!”
“Brenda, what are you doing in here?” I was ready for Mama to holler, but her voice was calm and quiet. Sad, almost.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish stuck on a hook, but how could I explain?
“She stole something,” Grandma said. “What do you have there?”
My stomach tumbled like it was rolling down a hill. I slowly opened my shaking hands. “It’s just my turtle,” I whispered.
Grandma’s face turned red, like a sudden sunburn. “I do not want animals in my house! Get rid of it! Get rid of it now!”
But I was staring back at the pictures and, as usual, the wrong words worked their way out. “Who’s that in the wedding picture with you, Grandma? Your daddy or your husband?”
Her red face turned white, but she didn’t answer.
“That’s Grandpa. That was my daddy.” Mama closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “He died before any of you were born.”
“Why do you keep all this stuff locked in here?” I asked. “Why is it off-limits?”
Grandma took a big breath of air like she was getting ready to dunk underwater. “This is none of your business. Now don’t let me catch you in here again. And get rid of that,” she said, pointing at my turtle. Her voice was shaking so much, I couldn’t tell if she was going to cry or scream. “See to it that that thing is gone, Cecelia. And keep her out of here.” Her voice cracked. Grandma pushed us out of the room and slammed the door. She turned the knob to make sure it was locked. Then she went back to her room and slammed that door too.
Ruthie and Charlene had been peeking out of their rooms, and they quickly ducked back inside them.
Mama and I stood there in the hall staring at each other. “Why did Grandma marry someone so old?” I asked in a whisper.
Mama leaned against the door. “It’s a very long story.”
I closed my hand around Earl’s shell. His head and feet were pulled all the way in so it felt like I was holding a rock. “Is it one of the reasons Grandma got all hardened up like you said?”
Mama sighed. “You could say so.” I waited for her to tell me more, but she didn’t. “I asked you to get along with your grandma. You promised. I don’t need this stress, Chip.”
“I know, Mama. I won’t do it again.” Although, I was still itching to know what was in that cabinet.
Normally, Mama would’ve yelled, or marched me to my room, but she just sighed again. “Now, what are you going to do with that?” She pointed to Earl.
I shrugged. I couldn’t go back to Miss Vernie’s and let him go. With Dana so mad at me about my turtle’s name, I didn’t dare show up with him again, if I even dared to go back at all. I’d made a mess of things there. “What if I got a better cage for him, so he won’t get out? Maybe keep him outside?”
Mama frowned. “I don’t know. Let’s check out the pet store in town. Right after breakfast.”
I crossed my fingers. Please let me keep him. I’d made a promise to Daddy, too, to keep this turtle safe, and I wasn’t going to break it.
THE SUN WAS JUST STARTING TO PEEK OUT OVER THE trees, and I took Earl outside and let him crawl in the grass. Birds hopped around, yanking on worms. “For a little guy who doesn’t do too much, you sure have caused me an awful lot of trouble,” I whispered to Earl. “First Dana, now Grandma. And here I am just trying to help you.” He was so small, the grass must’ve seemed like a jungle to him as he pushed the blades down with his little legs and tiny claws.
I lay on my belly, watching Earl and wondering if Dana would come back to school. Did she just take off for the day or for good? I admired her for believing in something so strongly she’d leave Miss Vernie’s. Maybe she was a nut I never could crack and maybe we’d never be friends, but I still liked that she was strong and proud. I was glad I’d met her even if she didn’t feel the same way about me. I picked a small daisy that was sprouting up out of Grandma’s grass and twirled it between my fingers. I thought about Karen and how hard she was working at something new, and why it was important to her to show her stepfather she was special. I felt like I was starting to understand her and Dana better. And that made my good feelings for them grow.
Grow. Like a flower? Like the charm I’d lost? I glanced at the house and saw Grandma’s silhouette in the bathroom. The more I knew about Dana and Karen, the more I understood why they were the way they were. And the more I understood about them, the more I liked them. Maybe other people could grow on me too. Was that my lesson?
I sat up, excited by the idea. Possibly even Grandma could grow on me. She was mad at me and had said some nasty things, but being in her room like that made me wan
t to know her and all her secrets better. And if people could grow on me, then maybe I could grow on other people. Like Grandma. Then maybe I really could get along with her and make Mama happy. Was that the whole key? I looked back at the house. Grandma was gone from the window. One thing was for sure: I had to get back in the off-limits room soon. There had to be something in there that would help me and Grandma grow on each other.
Hopping up from the ground, I scooped up Earl and his bowl and went inside to get ready for town and to start making things right with Grandma. I wasn’t a hooligan. I had to prove to her that I was worth knowing too.
When I got to my room, I pulled out one of the dresses she’d bought for me to wear into town. I was going to miss a day at charm school, but patching things up with Grandma was more important.
ME, RUTHIE, AND CHARLENE WERE SITTING IN THE backseat of Grandma’s Cadillac, ready to go, when Grandma turned around and narrowed her eyes at the bowl on my lap. “We’re not taking that thing in my car.”
Ruthie sat between me and Charlene. She snuggled against me and looked in the bowl. She poked Earl with her finger.
“Leave him be, Ruthie!”
She crossed her arms and pouted.
“Mother, Brenda’s bringing it to a pet store,” Mama said. “We’re going to see what we can do.”
Grandma tightened her mouth and backed out of the driveway. She flashed me mean looks in her rearview mirror as she drove. She didn’t even say anything about the purple dress with the rainbow I was wearing. Sure, there were a pair of shorts underneath it, but she didn’t know that. I also had my keyhole rock in one of the pockets to mail to Billy, but she didn’t know that, either.
“I certainly hope we get some rain soon,” she said. “I’m breaking my back watering my roses and it doesn’t seem to make a lick of difference. They’re still droopy.”
I quickly pressed my nose against the window, thinking about all the work I was doing for Miss Vernie. If Grandma knew how much I like working in gardens, she could ask me for help with that instead of dusting dolls. I rubbed the thumb along the rim of the bowl. All right. I was going to try to be nice. I took a deep breath and hoped my words came out right. It was the first time we’d talked since the fight in the off-limits room. “I know how you feel, Grandma. I planted corn back home before we moved here. I sure hope somebody’s watering it. Maybe I could help you with your roses.”
Grandma flipped her hand in the air. “It’s not the same thing at all. Vegetables and crops can adapt to severe weather. My roses are delicate and vulnerable. It takes a skilled gardener to care for them.”
“Well, you could tell me what to do,” I offered.
“That won’t be necessary,” Grandma said.
I leaned my head against the window. Guess it would take some time for me to grow on Grandma. Maybe that would change though, once she saw me at the pageant. Being a beauty queen seemed like my only hope with her.
I CARRIED EARL INTO THE PET SHOP, AND RUTHIE RAN right past me to the kittens. Charlene and Grandma walked down to the department store to look for shoes while Mama and I talked to the old man behind the counter.
“Excuse me,” Mama said with a big smile. Most people helped Mama when she gave them that smile. “We’ve got a turtle who needs a new home. Do you have any setups that could keep this little guy from getting away?”
The man rubbed his big spotted hand along the back of his head and frowned. “We used to have real nice plastic palm tree cages for little turtles. But we can’t sell baby turtles anymore. FDA just banned them.”
Was this some weird southern thing? “Why?” I asked.
“Turtles carry salmonella and kids can put the tiny ones in their mouths and get sick.”
Mama pressed her hands to her mouth. “They carry a disease?”
“That’s what they say.”
“So they’re illegal?” she whispered.
“Only to sell them. Nothing illegal about keeping it. Might not be very smart, though.”
I backed away from the counter, a sick feeling bubbling up in my stomach.
Mama folded her hands in front of her. “Ruthie could get sick.”
“Let me see your turtle, darlin’,” the old man said.
I shook my head and clutched the bowl against me.
He shifted on his stool. “That don’t look like the best home for him.”
With a great big sigh, I set the bowl on the counter. He scratched his head again. “What are you feeding him?”
“Vegetables. Lettuce and stuff.”
“He needs dried flies too. And he can only swallow food when he’s in the water. Did you know that?” He pressed his mouth into a tight line.
“No, sir.” I didn’t even bother trying to stuff my tears away. I wasn’t taking care of Earl. I was killing him.
“He should be in an aquarium with a light for heat and enough water to swim.”
I felt like sitting on the floor and crying, but instead I squared my shoulders and tried to sound real serious and mature. “Mama, can we get one? He won’t be able to get out. I promise.”
Mama shook her head. “It’s not safe.”
“But he’s my responsibility… . Daddy would want me to… .” I shuddered, trying to pull in a deep breath. I wasn’t supposed to talk about Daddy anymore.
Mama took a step toward me. “Chip …”
“I’ll even buy it. I’ve got ten dollars… .” My lip wobbled. “Please.”
Mama closed her eyes for a long time, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I can’t let anything else bad happen to this family. You have to get rid of the turtle.” She said it in the quietest voice I’d ever heard.
I stared at Earl, his shell divided up into patches like a quilt. I couldn’t take care of him. I’d failed. I choked back my cries. A few months ago I would have whined and stomped my foot and nagged Mama until she changed her mind. Well, that’s what the old Chip would’ve done. But I wanted to make Mama happy. And Grandma too. So I had to choose: keep my promise to Daddy or keep my promise to Mama. I’d never broken a promise to Daddy before, but I was going to have to. I wasn’t just living in a different place with different people, I was a different person too. I was training for a pageant, and I couldn’t take care of animals anymore. Plus, Daddy hadn’t sent me any signs that old Chip was going to fit in. My heart wasn’t slipping back into place at all. Grandma was right when she said I had to be Brand-New Brenda down in North Carolina. I didn’t have a choice. “I’ll find a place to let him go.” My voice was so small I wasn’t even sure if the words made it out of my mouth.
Mama rubbed my shoulder. “Thanks, honey.”
The cool rock I’d found in the creek was in the pocket of my shorts, poking my hip under my dress. I cleared my throat. “Mama, I’ve got something to mail. Can we go to the post office?” I tried to make my voice sound normal, but my throat was thick.
Mama just nodded and we left the pet store. We walked a little ways down the street to the post office. We didn’t talk at all. Mama stared straight ahead of her, holding Ruthie’s hand.
The postal clerk gave me a small box and I set the rock inside. I pulled a flyer off the bulletin board for a chicken barbecue two weeks past. Then I grabbed a pen from the counter and started writing.
Dear Billy,
I found the new Coolest Thing Ever and wanted you to have it since you gave me the round rock. I’m not having any fun down here. How about you?
Your pal,
Chip
Then I crossed out “Chip” and wrote “Brenda.”
PS I’m going by Brenda now. I’m a brand-new Brenda.
I stared at those words until they were blurry. Then I folded up the paper, stuffed it into the box, and handed my package to the clerk. Mama squeezed my shoulder. “All set, Chip?”
“Mama, call me Brenda from now on.”
“Whatever for?”
“Chip’s who I was back in New York. I’m a brand-new Brenda down here.” Chip was gone,
just like Daddy was.
She nodded slowly and let out a long, tired breath. “If that’s what you want. Sometimes, new starts are a good thing.”
“I’m trying, Mama. I’m trying.”
When we got home, I grabbed a book and ran down the road, back into the woods, and climbed that tree of mine by the creek. I didn’t even do any exploring back there. Didn’t seem like something Brand-New Brenda should do.
chapter thirteen
I ROLLED AROUND IN BED ALL NIGHT LONG, TANGLING the sheets around my legs, wondering if I should go back to Miss Vernie’s after everything that happened with Earl and Dana. But when I saw my family talking and laughing at breakfast, I sat down and tried to join in. They were joking about a blanket Mama once tried to knit.
Then Charlene talked about a project she’d made in home ec, and Ruthie said she wanted to learn to knit. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like an orange in an apple crate.
“Is knitting hard?” I asked. “Maybe you could teach me someday, Mama.” I figured that might be a way for us to spend time together since she liked it so much.
Mama frowned. “It can be. You don’t have the patience for knitting, Chip.” She chuckled. “I’m sure you couldn’t sit still long enough.”
Mama was used to dealing with just Ruthie and Charlene. She didn’t have time to squeeze me in, too, and I sure didn’t want to add more stress to her life.
“You’re probably right,” I said. I grabbed a muffin and headed for the door. “I’m going exploring.”
No one even protested. “You be careful out there. Thousands of kids get hurt in the woods every day and are never heard from again,” Mama hollered after me.
“I will.” I walked up the street and down Miss Vernie’s driveway, the trees whispering above me. I clutched the bowl, hoping I wasn’t making a mistake bringing Earl back there, but I had to get rid of him. My knees were just barely holding me up as I walked into the garden. Karen tossed her baton in the air while Dana sat on the porch. I was so glad to see she’d come back. I took a deep breath and walked right up to them. A ray of light broke through the clouds so I was standing in a patch of sunshine.
School of Charm Page 9
