by Greg Bach
The child who doesn’t want to be there
Children with chinks in their self-esteem armor often perceive sports participation as tests of personal worthiness. In their minds, avoiding the activity is better than risking failure, humiliation, and disappointment. These kids may have already written off soccer as a sport they can enjoy for of any number of reasons, including the following:
They watched older siblings participate and felt the pressure to excel surrounding the activity. And even though they really don’t want any part of soccer, their moms or dads signed them up anyway.
They’ve played soccer for several years, have grown tired of it, and simply need a break.
Something happened last season that affected their interest. Perhaps they had a problem with teammates or coaches, or perhaps they were hurt and are fearful now of suffering another injury.
They simply don’t like soccer and would rather be playing another sport. Sometimes kids are enrolled in sports that they discover they don’t enjoy playing, and that’s perfectly okay. The only way kids can learn whether or not they like a sport is by trying it. Problems arise when parents force their kids into playing a particular sport, especially when the youngsters’ enthusiasm for participating doesn’t match the parents’.
Talk to the child to find out the reason for his lack of interest. You can address many of these reasons, take care of and comfort the child, and restore his interest in playing again. Emotionally connecting with the child and helping him solve his dilemma can do wonders for reestablishing his enthusiasm for playing.
The disruptive child
If you have a dozen or so kids on your team, chances are you have a child who tests the boundaries of acceptable behavior. This kid has a need for attention, and misbehaving is his way of soliciting it, or he’s simply being reared by parents who haven’t bothered to instill any manners in him. At any rate, he tests your authority, challenges your team rules, and taxes your patience at times.
Coaches often find themselves walking a tightrope when dealing with disruptive players and fall too heavily on one side of the spectrum or the other, both of which have disastrous consequences:
Some coaches are so overly concerned about being well liked by everyone that they sacrifice discipline and ignore team rules that are broken in the process.
In an effort to keep the kids in line, some coaches are exceedingly harsh and throw around punishment far too often, quickly turning the season into a boot camp that makes everyone miserable.
You have to find an appropriate balance between the two behaviors. Keep in mind that children can enjoy playing for you, and like you, while respecting your authority and abiding by your team rules. You have to clearly outline to the players what type of behavior you expect from them during practices and games. When a player crosses a line, you have to address the situation immediately without embarrassing the player in the process.
Don’t embarrass the misbehaving player at the first sign of trouble. Instead, speak to the child privately, and make it clear that you won’t tolerate this type of behavior. Any time you speak to a player regarding a behavior or discipline issue, be sure to let the parents know about it right away as well. Keeping them in the dark only creates unwanted problems for you down the road.
If you allow the best player on the team to get away with inappropriate behavior, you send a disturbing message to the rest of the team that this player is more special than anyone else and is above the team rules. In fact, you elevate this player to a position more powerful than yours. Coaches who allow this type of insubordination to go on and avoid dealing with the problem usually do so because they operate under a win-at-all-costs mentality, and they turn their backs on confronting any type of problem that could impact the team’s win–loss record.
You need to take control of the situation immediately before it leads to team dissension and, even worse, other players begin to copy some of the antics of this player. Quite simply, the only way that you can maintain the respect of your team and teach the merits of following the rules and respecting authority is to punish the offending player and let the team know that these types of behavior are unacceptable. Be sure to remind your players that those teammates who don’t abide by the rules are making that choice themselves. Making different rules for different levels of ability sets a dangerous precedent. (We go into greater detail about disciplining children, including the disruptive sort, in Chapter 19.)
The child with special needs
All kids have a legal right to participate in sports like soccer, and that goes for those kids who have special needs, too. These special needs may result from conditions ranging from hearing loss and vision impairment to medical conditions such as diabetes or epilepsy. Youngsters who have physical conditions in which they don’t have full use of their arms or legs also fall into this category. As a soccer coach, questioning your own qualifications about working with a special-needs child is natural. But think about it. You’re a coach, and these kids are looking for your help and guidance. Just as you discover ways to successfully work with a child who has no coordination or is super-shy, you can work with a child who has special needs to safely include her without causing major disruptions to the team or the game.
Making accommodations for a special-needs player
In order for kids with special needs to participate in a sport like soccer, certain accommodations need to be made. These accommodations aren’t designed to give the child or the team an unfair advantage or to put the team at a disadvantage; they’re simply used to help eliminate some of the obstacles that may prevent the child from participating in the sport. Without those obstacles, she can benefit from the experience just like the other kids. You want to do everything you can to maintain the integrity of the game while also making it possible for this youngster to be part of the soccer experience.
If, for example, a child has a visual impairment and has great difficulty seeing a white ball, playing with a different-color soccer ball would make all the difference. Or, if a child has a physical problem that doesn’t allow her to run up and down the field, maybe she can handle all the team’s throw-ins, or perhaps she can be the team’s designated corner kicker. These suggestions are just a couple of ways that you can include children, regardless of their disabilities, without compromising anyone’s safety or enjoyment of the game. After these youngsters get an understanding of their roles and how they fit into the structure of the team, they’ll have specific skills that they can work on and see improvement in during practices, just like their teammates.
Reviewing the situation with parents, players, and coaches
In Chapter 4, we discuss conducting your preseason parents meeting. We cover how important it is to find out from the parents whether any of their children have any conditions that you need to be aware of in order to meet their needs. If you happen to have a child with special needs, set aside some time before the first practice to talk to the family about their hopes and expectations for their child’s participation. Open the lines of communication so that together you can come up with solutions that benefit everyone. Keep in mind that this season may be the parents’ first foray into organized sports, and they may be nervous and apprehensive about having their child participate. They may turn to you for all the answers. Explore the endless possibilities that are out there, and figure out ways that this youngster can be included and be a valued and contributing member of the team.
Regardless of the age or skill level of your team, having a child with special needs on the squad can be enormously beneficial for your other players. Youngsters get a firsthand lesson in developing understanding, compassion, and patience for their teammates while also learning to accept everyone’s differences. In Chapter 7, we discuss the importance of meeting with the opposing coach prior to the game. At this time, share any information regarding children on your team who have special needs, and find out whether any players on his team have special needs as well. Quite often, the leag
ue director goes over this type of information with all the coaches at a preseason meeting so that everyone is aware, well in advance, of any accommodations that need to be made. By working together and making the necessary accommodations, you can help ensure that these youngsters are an integral part of the team chemistry.
If you coach a team of older kids, you can ask them for their thoughts and ideas on how a special-needs player can be included. Your players can be great resources for you, and they may just surprise you with their creative suggestions on how to ensure that their teammate is a part of the action.
The bully
Most of us can probably recall those kids we went to school with who picked fights on the playground and pushed around the smaller and weaker kids. They tormented, teased, and were totally troublesome. Bullies aren’t limited to playgrounds and school hallways — they can show up on the soccer fields, with intimidating scowls and overly aggressive play. Bullies thrive on attention and find pleasure in upsetting others. They also frequently feel weak and battle feelings of insecurity. The soccer field has no room for a bully and his intimidating tactics and physical play.
Kids who are picked on by a bully often don’t complain, for fear of making the situation worse than it already is. That means you have to keep a close eye on the interaction of the kids — not only during practice, but also before and after practice, because bullies wreak the most havoc when adults are less likely to be around. That’s another good reason to have a practice drill set up for the early-arriving kids, which we discuss in Chapter 6: It eliminates the chance for horseplay that can injure a child or cause emotional distress.
If you’re having problems with a child bullying others, speak with the child away from the team and let her know that a change in her behavior is in order for the good of the team. Let her know that you admire her tenacity on the field but that her physical strength and motivation to overpower her opponent must be reined in and used strictly within the confines of the rules of soccer. Not following the rules negatively impacts her team and is counterproductive to what the entire team is striving to accomplish. Tell her that you value her as a player, but bullying isn’t acceptable. If the child is simply picking on or making fun of her teammates, address the fact that she should be encouraging and supporting her teammates — these are the teammates she’s going to be encouraging and counting on to get her the ball with a pass when she’s open.
As a youth soccer coach, you have an obligation and a responsibility to do your best to bring out the best in your team members as both soccer players and individuals. If you don’t address the bullying, others may believe that you condone the behavior. Be sure to point out that you know the bully is capable of being a better teammate. Work with her to be a more positive influence on the team. Make the conversation a productive one by being friendly yet firm. She may even pick up some pointers from you on how to be a better person by how you deal with her.
The inexperienced child
Sometimes, a child is a late arrival to the sport of soccer. For example, if you’re coaching a 10-and-under team, one of your 10-year-olds may have never played organized soccer before, even though the rest of his teammates have been involved in the sport for several years. Getting the inexperienced child caught up to the skill level of his teammates in a relatively short amount of time simply isn’t possible. You can’t squeeze a few seasons’ worth of practices, drills, and game experiences into a month or two, but you can help the youngster develop skills and be a contributing member of the team without compromising the practice time of the more experienced players.
You can create a passing drill for four players comprised of one talented athlete, two youngsters of average soccer ability, and one child who’s inexperienced in the sport. The less experienced player will probably struggle a bit, but with the positive encouragement from the talented player who can take on the part of a teaching role, everyone learns from the situation, and the kids further cement the team bond.
The ball hog
Having a ball hog on your team — one of those players who hangs onto the ball as though he’s guarding his most prized toy — can create real problems for the entire team because it directly impacts the other players’ enjoyment of the game. Ball hogs typically aren’t a problem at the younger age levels, because most kids haven’t played long enough to develop their skills to a point that they can maintain control of the ball for extended periods of time. Ball hogs are generally found when kids begin to develop skills, their talent begins to shine through, and they realize they’re getting pretty good.
A player can earn the ball-hog label for a number of reasons, all of which you can help him discard by taking the right approach. The player may be
Unaware: Quite often, the child isn’t aware that he’s hanging onto the ball too long. Any drills that force kids to work with, and rely on, their teammates can be instrumental in keeping the ball-hog syndrome from infiltrating your team and creating dissension. Incorporating drills that stress passing (such as 2-on-1 and 3-on-1), practice drills like Keepaway, or scrimmages in which the team must complete a set number of passes in a row before taking a shot on goal (which we discuss in Chapter 6) into practices is great for eliminating ball-hog problems.
Receiving conflicting instructions: One of the more challenging scenarios occurs when the child receives conflicting instructions from his dad or mom at home. The parents may tell the child that he needs to be more aggressive during games, or they may tell the child that he’s the best player on the team and needs to exert more control and dominate the game. If you suspect that this is happening, have a quick meeting with all the parents following a practice. Remind them that you appreciate their help teaching the kids by reinforcing your lessons at home. If this gentle group reminder doesn’t sink in with the targeted parents, arrange a private meeting. Share your concerns, and point out that their conflicting instructions disrupt the team environment you’re trying to create.
New to the sport: The child may be new to soccer, or maybe he’s never been involved with a team before. He may need some extra time to get accustomed to the team setting. Help him to learn to utilize his teammates and to recognize the importance of passing the ball for the benefit of the entire team.
Misunderstanding his position: Take a closer look at how you teach the responsibilities of the positions to your players, as well as the offensive and defensive philosophies you preach to the team. Do certain players tend to wander out of position, creating additional opportunities for them to handle the ball? Are your defenders creeping too far forward when the team is on the offensive and forgetting their defensive responsibilities in the process, giving themselves added touches? Spending a few minutes clarifying the responsibilities of each position and touching on the fact that the team can excel only if all players handle their positions may be all you need to quickly and easily remedy the problem.
Taking a cue from you: Take the time to really examine your practices, because you may be fueling the problem. During exercises, are you allowing kids to unnecessarily hang onto the ball for extended periods of time while shunning their teammates? Are you enamored with the stellar play of certain individuals who mesmerize you with their dribbling skills as they negotiate their way down the field during practice? If so, the ball hogs are certainly going to carry this style of play over to games. Continually stressing the importance of teamwork during practice, and pointing out to players who show a tendency to hog the ball that they should’ve passed the ball to a teammate, helps eliminate this problem.
In need of altered practice drills: Play games during practice where the purpose is to maintain possession of the ball, not to score goals. This approach isn’t destructive to coaching soccer. By practicing possession, the entire team learns how to pass the ball, receive passes, and develop proper spacing to take advantage of the defense. You can even enforce a rule where each player on the team has to touch the ball before a player can touch it a second time on each change
of possession. If a team breaks the rule, they lose possession of the ball to the other team. Or you can impose a limit on the number of touches a player is allowed during each possession. These types of drills ensure that everyone is involved in the game and forces players to find ways to get the ball to their teammates who haven’t had a touch yet.
Ready for a conversation about his future goals: Many times, a ball hog has aspirations of playing at a higher and more competitive level in the future. These thoughts may be fueled by what the player’s parents are telling him at home or by a genuine interest of his own in excelling in the sport. Regardless of where the motivation comes from, talk to him. Let him know that when he begins playing at the more competitive levels of soccer, the players whom he goes up against will have the same skills — and perhaps better skills — as he does. That makes the ability to distribute the ball to teammates even more important, and if he doesn’t hone those skills now, he may be a liability on his next team.
Also, stress to the player that the more he involves his teammates in the game, the more effective a player he will be as he advances in his soccer career and plays at more competitive levels. Talk to him about being a well-rounded player who not only can deftly handle the ball and score goals, but also thread nifty passes through a maze of defenders. Good soccer players have a penchant for playing all aspects of the game well.
Regardless of the reasons behind the emergence of a ball hog, dealing with the problem swiftly is imperative, because it affects everything from team morale to each child’s overall enjoyment of the sport. Allowing the player to continue hogging the ball sends him a distorted message about how to play soccer, and it frustrates and alienates his teammates in the process.
