by L. C. Davis
Caleb finally got the courage to look into the Alpha’s eyes, but it was the very warmth and compassion in them that made him regret it. He’d been prepared for the worst when it came to meeting Alec’s family, convinced that the Alpha was shielding him from something, but every undeserved kindness Dustin offered him made him feel even guiltier.
“Try to get some rest,” said Dustin, resting his hand on the door. “The funeral is tomorrow at eleven. I’ll come check on you a little later to see if you’re hungry.”
Caleb nodded. It seemed that lately, he had even more trouble finding the words he wanted to say than usual. When Dustin closed the door, Caleb crawled underneath the covers and turned out his bedside lamp. He took two more pills and closed his eyes while he waited for them to kick in. Sleep made it easier to succumb to the dissociation he needed to indulge because the idea that he would be attending Alec’s funeral the next day was just too much to process. Part of him hoped he wouldn’t wake up at all.
Chapter 5
DUSTIN
Despite the fact that Alec hadn’t returned to the pack since he’d left as a wide-eyed medical student, every Alpha, omega and beta was in attendance. To Dustin’s chagrin, even some of the newer members of the pack seemed to be mourning more than their own mother.
He knew Noreen was devastated, but there was and always had been a disconnect between what she felt and how she acted. His father, as usual, was void of any expression or outward display of emotion. The pack would expect the same of Dustin.
At least taking care of Caleb was a distraction from his own grief. The omega was hardier than he looked, or at least, he put on a show worthy of an Andrews. His eyes were bloodshot and Dustin couldn’t help but wonder if he’d stayed up the whole night crying. The Alpha was relieved that, save for a few understandably curious and sympathetic glances, his packmates gave Caleb plenty of space.
A funeral was just about the worst way to introduce an omega into a new pack, but Dustin knew that if they put it off any longer, the entire family would suffer. They all needed to grieve, and the Spirits only knew that the Andrews clan was bad enough at dealing with emotion as it was.
When the somber affair was over, Dustin stayed with Caleb and his mother while the other members of the pack came to give their condolences. Blake was nowhere to be found.
Dustin could tell Caleb was getting overwhelmed toward the end, and he made the decision to lead them back to the farmhouse. To his relief, Noreen stayed behind at the church with the others. Dustin knew he needed to be there for her since his father clearly wasn’t up to the task, but Caleb was the one who’d lost everything and sometimes the look in the omega’s eyes when he thought no one was watching made Dustin worry about leaving him alone.
Of course, he had imprinted on Caleb, so it might well be his paranoia talking. He still didn’t have the first clue what he was going to do with that knowledge, and for the moment, denial was a far more practical alternative to addressing it.
“Is there anything I can get you?” Dustin asked hopefully. As an Alpha, he felt lost without a mission. He needed to be needed, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. Give him a task, no matter how great, and he’d find a way to accomplish it, but he had to do something or he was going to go insane. The only remotely productive way he could channel the bewildering feelings for Caleb that he wasn’t up to processing logically or emotionally was to take care of him.
Caleb hesitated. “I need to take my pills, but I can —“
“I’ll get them,” Dustin said earnestly. “Where are they?”
“In the drawer of my nightstand, but —“
“I’ll be right back,” Dustin said, already on his way up the stairs. He took them two at a time and found the small orange bottle in Caleb’s nightstand, like he’d said. Pain medication, according to the label. Caleb was supposed to take one every six hours as needed with food. When Dustin made it back downstairs, he found that Caleb had wheeled himself over to the window that looked out at the pasture where they kept the horses.
“Here you go,” Dustin said, offering him the pills. “The bottle says you’re supposed to take it with food, so what do you say I whip us up something for lunch? I’m not much of a cook, but I make a decent sandwich.”
Caleb smiled a little. “Thanks, but I don’t have much of an appetite.”
Dustin could relate. He hadn’t thought of food since finding out about the accident and had been subsisting on coffee and energy drinks for the last few days, but he was in full-on Alpha mode and determined to meet the omega’s basic needs, at the very least. “Just try to eat a little. It’ll settle your stomach.”
Caleb nodded. Dustin moved to help him with his chair, but despite the fact that his left arm was still in a sling, Caleb pushed his chair forward.
So he was the independent type. That shouldn’t have been a surprise, if Dustin really thought about it. Before meeting Caleb, he’d assumed that the big city omega who’d seduced his brother would be worldly and shrewd, but meeting the frail-looking creature had turned that expectation on its head. Dustin was used to a hardier variety of omegas who had grown up mucking stalls and running farmstands, working alongside their parents and siblings to get done what needed to be done.
A few of the Alphas in the pack had signed up for the Futurus Mate Arrangement Program in hopes of obtaining a more docile mate than the omegas they’d grown up with, and so far, not a single one of those matches had been without its complications. Once the romance of retiring to a quiet life in the country wore of, most of the imported omegas grew frustrated with the drudgery of small-town living and a couple had even returned to the program because Sawyers was just a bit too rural for them to tolerate. Only time would tell if Caleb ended up being one of them.
The thought was enough to send Dustin into an existential panic, so he banished it. Caleb didn’t even know he was Dustin’s mate yet, and surely finding out would only make him feel more trapped than he already did.
“How’s your head feeling?” Dustin asked, gathering the ingredients on the counter. “They said you hit it pretty bad.”
“It’s not the worst,” Caleb said quietly.
Dustin fell silent. He was bad enough at making conversation under normal circumstances. Alec had always been the one who was good with people, while Dustin was better at the logistics end of it all. They’d always joked that between the two of them, they would have made the perfect Alpha. Then Alec had left for the city, and the Meadowlands Pack was stuck with Dustin.
Now, so was Caleb.
“Here you go,” Dustin said, sliding a plate across the counter to Caleb. The omega thanked him and took a bite. Dustin could tell he was only eating out of polite obligation, but he could live with that if it meant Caleb took care of himself.
Caleb ate half of his sandwich and took his medication before asking if Dustin minded if he went upstairs. Dustin carried him, and he still hadn’t gotten over how fragile the omega felt in his arms. He could tell Caleb was humiliated by having to depend on a stranger, which was strange in itself. No matter how much Alec had changed in his time away from home, Dustin knew his brother would have doted on his mate the way their father had always taught them to, even if Blake himself had long since forgotten how he’d once adored his mate.
“Try to get some rest,” Dustin said, gently placing the omega in bed. “I’ll be right down the hall if you need anything.”
Caleb watched him with a look Dustin could only read as confusion. “Why are you so kind to me?” he finally asked.
The question caught Dustin off-guard, but he recovered enough to ask, “What do you mean?”
“You should hate me. Your parents do. Why don’t you?”
Dustin sat down on the edge of the bed, struggling to find the right answer. So much was riding on it, but he knew the words that came to him would just mess things up even more. They always did. “My parents don’t hate you. It’s just easier for them to blame you for Alec leaving than it is to f
ace the truth.”
“Which is what?” Caleb asked softly.
Dustin sighed. “That if things hadn’t gone the way they did when Alec left, maybe they wouldn’t be the way they are now. That maybe he’d still be here, or at least, he wouldn’t have been a stranger all these years.”
“Can I ask why he left?” Caleb sounded so hesitant, like he was afraid every word out of his mouth might be the one that made Dustin turn him away.
“It’s hard to come up with a single reason,” Dustin admitted. “There were so many over the years and they all just added up until one day—the day Alec announced he wasn’t coming back—it all gave out. He never saw eye to eye with our parents. Neither of us did, but Alec was the one who wanted his own life. A life of more than what our little town had to offer. Our parents—our mother, especially—couldn’t handle it. They had plans for him to take over the pack, and they thought they could control him by telling him that if he left, he shouldn’t come back. I don’t think they were expecting him to take them up on it, but he did and they had to settle for me.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. Alec talked about you a lot,” Caleb murmured, leaning back into the pillows. “He looked up to you so much.”
Dustin snorted. “Oh, I doubt that. He’s the one who got out of this hick town and made something of himself.”
“Really,” Caleb insisted. “Even though you were twins, he always said you were the one who had it all together. That as bad as he felt for leaving, he felt like he could because he knew the pack would be fine without him if it was in your hands. He was so proud of you.”
The omega yawned and Dustin felt his own throat grow tight with emotion. He pushed it away, like always, and pulled the covers up over Caleb. “I was proud of him, too,” he said quietly, standing. “Get some rest.”
By the time Dustin made it to the door and looked back, the omega’s eyes were already closed.
Chapter 6
CALEB
The days after Alec’s funeral passed in a blur. Caleb had gone from feeling pain every waking moment to feeling nothing at all, and while he wasn’t sure that was an improvement, it was a mercy. The pills made him tired, but they took away the pain and the need to think. Sometimes he would end up staring at the wall for what felt like minutes only to realize when he finally did look at the clock that it had really been hours, but going blank meant he wasn’t thinking about Alec or the baby. The guilt of forgetting was easier to bear than the pain of remembering.
When Caleb dared to venture out of his room, Noreen kept a good distance and he did his best to stay out of her way. She was out most of the time, at one meeting or another, if not shopping. Caleb spent most of the time he wasn’t sleeping in the library, which wasn’t much.
Alec had always loved books, and other than his brother, the library in his family home was the thing he’d always spoken about most fondly. Caleb felt closer to him when he was there, curled up on the sofa by the window with a book he didn’t actually have the energy or mental clarity to read. If he closed his eyes, the warmth of the sunlight streaming in through the window almost gave him the sensation of being wrapped up safe and snug in the Alpha’s strong arms.
How many times had they fallen asleep like that, with Caleb snuggled up to his chest while Alec studied for his exams? If Caleb had known how few of those moments had been left, he would have cherished them even more. If he had known what would happen that day on the bridge, he would have begged Alec to stay in with him and been more than happy never to leave the sanctuary of their little apartment ever again.
Caleb wasn’t sure what he would do now. The past was overwhelming enough, the present a hazy labyrinth that was a struggle to navigate even in the light of day, and the future that had once been so full of promise was nothing more than a blank gray expanse obscured by fog. He didn’t have the desire or the strength to move forward, but standing still wasn’t an option, either. Noreen was already exhausted by his presence and as kind as Dustin was, surely he would grow tired of carrying his brother’s burden soon enough. All Caleb could do was live in the memories and resign himself to whatever fate was chosen for him. He didn’t have enough care left in him to choose it for himself.
The omega had learned a few things about how the Meadowlands Pack worked during his time in the Andrews home. While Alec hadn’t ever spoken much about the pack itself, it seemed to run smoothly enough, from Caleb’s perspective. To be fair, he knew that might not have been the case before Dustin took over after his parents’ divorce.
Mated pairs split up rarely, especially when a mating mark was involved. Caleb had never understood how Alec could speak about his parents’ divorce as if it was a good thing for the pack. Growing up without a family, he’d always envied the stability of his classmates who had grown up with two mated parents. The idea of forming a mate bond had always seemed like the ultimate goal in life to achieve, the thing that would grant security and guarantee a happily ever after to the fortunate wolves it was bestowed upon.
Now that he’d lived with the Andrews family—or at least, with Noreen and Dustin since Blake had moved into his own place—Caleb understood his mate’s feelings a bit better. After his initial encounter, he had assumed Alec’s parents hated him, but they seemed to have even greater enmity for each other. Caleb had yet to be in the room with Noreen for more than two seconds without hearing her make a snide remark about the ineptitude of her former mate in some fashion.
When Caleb’s arm was finally healed enough to move around without his sling, he decided to make himself useful. The house was empty since Noreen had gone to lunch with friends and Dustin was out with the herd, as usual. It took him a while to figure out how to do certain things from his chair, but he could stand with his boot cast for long enough to put the clean dishes away in the cupboard.
By the time the kitchen was clean and a simple meal was in the oven, Caleb had little energy left, but he felt better than he had all week. It wasn’t in his nature to sit around and do nothing. As much as he had come to love Alec’s doting nature, it had taken him a while to adjust to his mate’s Alpha tendencies. He’d always wondered what it would be like to be with someone who wanted to take care of him and cherish him the way his heart longed for, but he’d been alone for so long that it took effort to accept it. Now, he was going to have to get used to doing everything for himself again.
The front door opened as Caleb was taking the lasagna out of the oven. He hurried to clean up the mess he’d left on the counter as Dustin came into the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” The harshness in the Alpha’s tone made him jolt. He knew he’d done something wrong as soon as he saw the look on Dustin’s face, but no matter how he racked his brain, he couldn’t figure out what.
“I’m sorry. I thought since everyone was busy you’d want dinner when you got back. I’ll clean up the dishes.”
Dustin frowned and stared at the omega like he was every bit as confused as Caleb was. “You shouldn’t be up,” he said finally, stalking across the room. Caleb flinched, but the Alpha’s touch on his shoulder was almost unnecessarily gentle. “What happened to your sling?”
“They said I could take it off after a week, if it didn’t hurt to move my arm,” Caleb said, flustered by the man’s close proximity. Sometimes Dustin seemed so much like Alec that it startled him, and others, they were so different he could barely see the resemblance. Alec was calm and refined where Dustin was rough around every edge. And good God, from his chiseled jaw to the muscular torso Caleb had caught a glimpse of through the window while Dustin was doing his chores outside, the Alpha had more than enough of those.
Even when he was obviously trying to be gentle, Dustin’s every action and word came with force and authority. Caleb wanted to please him, not just because he was Alec’s brother but because he was the leader of the pack that had taken him in, but how was he supposed to have the first clue what would make him happy when the sheer intensity of being in his presence ma
de it so hard to breathe?
“You should be resting, not on your feet slaving over a hot stove,” Dustin said sternly, glancing around the kitchen. “Or doing dishes. Sit down.”
Caleb fell back into the chair, as if under the automatic compulsion to obey Dustin’s every word. The look of concern on the Alpha’s face made it clear that wasn’t the right thing, either. “I didn’t mean— it wasn’t an order,” Dustin said, running a hand through his damp hair. He smelled of soap and aftershave, like he’d just gotten out of the shower. “I just don’t want you overexerting yourself.”
“I’m okay,” Caleb said, still shaking from being startled earlier. He was beginning to realize that Dustin wasn’t mad at him, even if it seemed that way. The only Alphas he’d ever known who were similarly brusque had been equally unkind, and Caleb wasn’t sure what to make of the unusual man before him. Dustin was a good person. That much, Caleb knew by instinct alone, to say nothing of his mate’s esteem for his brother, but he wasn’t gentle or soft spoken as Alec had been. “I just wanted to help.”
“I appreciate that, but…” Dustin trailed off and gave a sigh of defeat. “You’re here so I can take care of you, not so you can be the maid.”
“But I have to do something,” Caleb insisted. “You’re letting me stay here. The least I can do is be of use.”
Dustin’s heavy brows knit together again. Why was this man so hard to read and even harder to please? “You’re Alec’s mate, Caleb. That makes you family. Family takes care of its own, not because of what they can do but because that’s just how it is. You belong here whether you ever wash a single dish or not, and that’s not gonna change. In a few weeks, if you’re feeling up to it, we can talk about you doing some light housework, but for the time being, your job is to rest and heal that leg.”
