“She walked in,” Zach said again, an ache spreading through him as he remembered the look on her face. “I was pulling away and I swear, Zane, there isn’t anything between me and Keelie. I was pulling away, but I know that’s not how it looked and—”
“You don’t need to explain it to me,” his brother said. “Look, you’re so gone over Abby, there’s no room left inside you for another woman. I know that. Anybody with a functioning brain stem should be able to see that, if they bothered to look. Abby excluded because she doesn’t see it. That’s because you always worked damned hard not to let her. But you’re not as careful with the rest of the world as you are with her. You don’t hide it and you never hid it from Keelie . . . so why in the hell did she kiss you?”
“She said . . .” He groaned and shoved a hand through his hair, staring down the road like that might make her car magically appear. It didn’t work. It hadn’t worked for the past few hours, but he wasn’t giving up hope. If he just kept watching, if he just kept waiting, if he just kept hoping, that car of hers would show up.
“Keelie . . .” He blew out a ragged breath and then made himself continue. “She’s got this fucked-up idea that she’s in love with me. It’s not real. It can’t be. But—”
“Don’t speak for her, Zach.” Zane sounded even more tired now. Tired. Resigned. “She’s a big girl and I’m pretty sure she knows her feelings better than anybody else does. And again, this isn’t about Keelie . . . or me. I appreciate the concern, but it’s not about that. This is about you and Abby, okay? Let’s keep it about you and Abby. Have you talked to her?”
“No. She won’t answer the damn phone. It’s almost midnight and she’s not home and . . .” He trailed off as his imagination started to supply him with all sorts of nasty scenarios.
“Well, it’s not surprising that she hasn’t called. She’s pissed off. She saw you in a liplock with another girl.”
“I wasn’t kissing her, damn it!” he snarled.
“No. She was kissing you . . . and that will count for something, once Abby isn’t so angry, when she gets past the hurt, but for now? She’s hurt. Okay? She needs to get past that. Once she does, it will be okay.”
Zach drove the heel of his hand against his eye socket. “Okay. Shit. It will be okay. Zane, what in the hell does that mean?”
A few seconds ticked by and then Zane said, “It means it will be okay. Look, I’ll call her. Hopefully she can at least let me know she’s fine. You’ll feel better and maybe you can get some sleep and figure out where to go from here.”
“Yeah. Okay.” He continued to stare down the street, hoping against hope. Waiting. And watching. The car still didn’t appear and the street stayed dark and the night stayed quiet. “Will you tell her . . .”
“No.” Zane’s voice was flat and firm. “Whatever you have to say to her, it needs to come from you. Look, I don’t know what’s happening with the two of you, but I saw how she was looking at you at the party. There’s something growing there and Abby isn’t an idiot. Let her cool down and then you talk to her, okay?”
Chapter Nineteen
The bed was a brick.
A bouncy brick.
And the newly married couple in the room next to hers was putting their bouncy brick to good use. Despite the pillow over her head, she could still hear the squeals and the grunts.
Her phone started to ring. Nickelback’s “Photograph.” Zane. Okay, if there was anyone other than Zach that she’d just like to avoid talking to? Zane was it.
She groaned and hugged the pillow harder as she tried to block out any and all noise. A few seconds later, the phone stopped ringing. But the banging, the squealing, and groaning continued.
After another five minutes, it eased up and she huffed out a sigh, pulling off the pillow and dropping it down on the bed. She reached for her phone and glared at it. Zach was now getting his brothers to start pestering her?
She’d ignored the numerous texts while she thought everything through and now Zane was calling her?
The little green bubble popped up on her screen. From Zane.
“Calling me and texting me,” she muttered. “Wonderful.”
Z’s worried. If you’re too pissed to talk to him, that’s fine. But spare us both the headache and just let me know you’re okay.
She continued to glare at the message for another thirty seconds.
Before she decided whether to turn the phone off, another message came through.
He just wants to know you’re okay, Abby. He’s pacing out in front of your house and he’ll stay there until he knows or the cops show up to drag him away. Come on. Please?
She groaned and tapped out a message. And it had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t like to think about him pacing in front of her house when she was a good two hours away. I’m fine. Tell the jerk I’ll come home when I’m done being pissed.
Zane’s response was almost immediate. Will do. But he’ll probably show up at your work in a day or two.
She stuck her tongue out at the phone. Fat lot of good it would do. She’d cut back on her workload for the next few months because she’d expected to be busy planning for her wedding. Yeah, well, he’ll be wasting his time. I’m not needed in until Wednesday.
Then, with a sigh, she flopped back on the bouncy brick bed and stared up at the ceiling. It was finally quiet. She could think. She’d been walking into Zach’s office.
Keelie had been rising up on her toes. Zach had his hands on her wrists. Had he bent down? Her heart wrenched a little as she thought about somebody else having that mouth on theirs—
“Stop it.”
No. Zach hadn’t bent down. He’d just been standing there. Just standing.
And Keelie had been up on her toes.
So maybe Keelie had been the one kissing him. Bits and pieces of the puzzle started to line up as she thought it through. Keelie didn’t like her. She didn’t think Keelie had ever really liked her. And she already knew that the other woman had a thing for Zach.
And Zach . . . her throat knotted up as she thought back. Zach, always there. Always watching her. The look on his face when she told him she was getting married.
He’d watched her, so closely.
His voice had skipped a little when he asked her if she was sure that was what she wanted.
Then it had been steady as the sun when he told her if she was happy, then he’d be happy for her.
Zach . . . always there.
I’m thirty-two years old. I’ve been in love.
Absently, she reached up and brushed her fingers across the brightly colored blossoms he’d painted across her skin.
Who was she, Zach?
People come and go all the time. But there’s only been one woman who came and stayed and mattered . . . it’s you . . .
You’re not important . . . you’re everything.
She’d asked him. Point-blank, she’d asked him who he’d been in love with.
And he could have told her.
But maybe he had told her, she thought. You’re everything.
Sighing, she rolled onto her belly and buried her face in the pillow, trying to slow her racing thoughts.
Yeah.
She’d asked him. He could have said it, could have just told her outright. I love you. But the question was this . . . if she’d asked and he’d told her the truth, was she really ready to hear the answer? Really ready?
Up until a few hours ago, she just wasn’t sure.
And if the answer wasn’t her?
She still didn’t know if she could handle it.
“Maybe that’s the answer you need to figure out then,” she told herself quietly.
Yeah.
That was what she needed to do.
Her mind started to calm and she sighed a little as some of the tension started to ease from her body. Okay. Plan made. It wasn’t written down, but she had a plan in mind and she always functioned better with a plan. Now, maybe she could sleep. Afte
r she got some sleep, she’d be able to figure out where to go from here.
She thought.
She hoped.
Her lids drooped down—
Squeak, squeak, squeak—
Swearing, she groaned and pulled the pillow back over her head.
* * *
The early morning shoot had been one of the best Zane had in a long while, but sadly, it hadn’t been outside. It kind of sucked that he had to get up before dawn to do an indoor photo shoot, but he was trying to get a little more serious about this job. So when the better-paying ones came his way, he tried to take them.
Still, it would have been a great day to spend outside. Maybe up in the mountains. Out of everything he loved about Albuquerque, he loved the mountains the most.
He loved the desert. He loved Old Towne. He loved how the place was a mix of old and new. And he loved the fact that he was far enough away from the rest of his family that they didn’t just show up at the drop of a hat, but close enough that he could get to them with a short flight pretty much whenever he wanted to see them. He wasn’t quite as financially solvent as a couple of his famous brothers were, but he did okay.
But he loved the mountains the most.
With the sun burning high in the sky, he stared at the stark, jagged peaks of the Sandia Mountains and decided he needed to get up early again, and soon. Not because he was getting paid to lock himself in a room with his camera, either. Just head up into the mountains with his gear and see what he could see.
He had a new Nikon and he was still getting used to it. Nothing like a day spent up in the mountains to do that.
With a cup of coffee in hand and his gaze locked on those distant mountains, he told himself he wasn’t going to think about the phone call last night. Or Keelie. Or any of it. He’d been telling himself that same lie ever since he rolled out of bed after one miserable, sleepless night. He’d actually had some success for a little while . . . the entire four hours he’d spent on the job. And once he was done, his brain promptly went right back down that road.
To Abby.
To Zach.
To Keelie.
What in the hell had she been thinking, kissing Zach? She knew how that guy felt about Abby and . . .
And it didn’t matter what he’d said to Zach. Jealousy twisted through him and nothing he did or said was going to make that burn of envy go away. Something about Keelie had always gotten to him and it shouldn’t have. She was eight years younger than he was, full of anger and mistrust and attitude. The very last thing he needed to do was think about anything involving her. Especially when it was pretty damn clear that he’d been on target about the suspicions he’d had regarding her feelings for Zach.
“This is a clusterfuck,” he decided as he lifted his coffee to his lips. That was just about the only way to describe it. He wanted Keelie. She wanted Zach. Zach wanted Abby and he finally had a chance at making that happen, and then Keelie throws a wrench in the works . . . the one thing that wasn’t entirely clear was just what Abby wanted, but Zane had seen how Abby looked at Zach. There was something there. What he needed to do was just keep clear of it. What Keelie should do was just steer clear of it, too.
Let Abby and Zach untangle it and work things out.
It wasn’t a bad plan.
They could untangle it and he’d stand there and drink his coffee and study the mountains.
Except the doorbell rang. He ignored it. He wasn’t expecting anybody for a shoot and if it was a delivery, they could leave it on the porch. He had a nice brood going so he’d just stay right where he was and—
It rang again. Again. Again. Like somebody was leaning on it.
“Son of a bitch.” Slamming the coffee down on a table by the window, he pulled off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes as he stormed down the hallway. It was cluttered with his camera equipment, boxes that he kept meaning to tear down and other stuff he meant to deal with and never got around to.
What did it matter, anyway?
He was a bachelor at thirty-five and considering the fact that the one woman he’d found himself interested in recently had just tried to put the moves on his little brother, it didn’t look like things were going to change anytime soon.
As the doorbell rang again, he shouted, “This better be damn fucking im . . .”
He jerked open the door and the words died as he saw Abby standing there.
She glared at him, her chin angled up like she was spoiling for a fight.
And knowing Abigale Applegate, she probably was.
“Ah . . . hey, Abby.”
She drilled a finger into his chest. “Don’t you hey, Abby me.”
“Um.” He blinked and rubbed a hand over his chest. Was she trying to poke a hole in him? “Okay. What would you rather me say? Get the hell out? Demand a toll? Or should I call Zach and tell him you got lost on the way to Grandma’s house?”
“Ha, ha. And I wonder why you’re a photographer. Maybe you should write instead of Trey.” She folded her arms over her chest and glared at him. “I need to talk to you. Can I come in or not?”
He stepped aside and as she passed by, he scraped his nails over his jaw and tried to figure out just how in the hell he’d gotten pulled into Zach’s mess. Because that’s what was happening.
Hadn’t he just decided it was better off for him to not be involved in this?
Hell.
* * *
The one text from Zane had come after midnight.
Abby is fine. She’ll come home when she’s not ready to spit nails. But she’s okay.
That wasn’t reassuring, but at least Zach knew she was okay.
He also knew—thanks to his mad skills of observation—that she wasn’t home.
He prowled through the house, looking for some clue as to where she was, but said clue didn’t seem to exist. She hadn’t come home since last night. He knew that because he fiddled around with her alarm system and saw that it hadn’t been disarmed since she’d left yesterday.
That wasn’t exactly reassuring.
Where was she?
Why hadn’t she come home?
Why wouldn’t she talk to him?
Slumping on the bottom step of the staircase, he braced his elbows on his knees and glared at the door.
And another question . . . would she forgive him?
“This isn’t helping.”
Shoving away from the staircase, he headed for the door. Brooding and prowling around her house wasn’t going to make the situation any better, either, so he needed to get the hell out.
The only thing, really, for him to do was head on in to work.
His lip curled at the very thought of it.
Seriously, facing Keelie was just going to put the cherry on top of a couple of lousy days.
* * *
Keelie knew she’d seen him looking more tired, but she wasn’t sure when.
Her gut was already in a tangle but when he came inside and stopped when he saw her, all those tight little knots jerked even tighter and she thought she just might be sick.
A muscle jerked in his jaw as she stared at him but he didn’t so much as acknowledge her. The ache that had taken up permanent residence in her heart expanded until she thought she just might choke on it.
What did I do? she thought miserably.
As he stalked past her, she thought about just retreating to her little hole and staying there. She could work, could just get lost in her work and then go home. Keep at it until things got better.
But then she realized she couldn’t work hard enough to undo this ugly little knot of misery.
She’d hurt him. She’d hurt Abby and she felt bad about that, too. But she’d hurt Zach and he’d never been anything but wonderful to her. He’d given her a chance when nobody else would, he’d been kind to her when others treated her like shit, and he’d stood up for her when she didn’t even know how to stand up for herself.
And then what did she do?
She fucked up.
Any of the rationalizations she might try to offer were empty, too. So what if maybe she might want to think she just wanted him to know. She had plenty of time to tell him. She didn’t have to do it right after things finally started to work for him and Abby.
She’d done that because she was a selfish bitch and she needed to make it right.
How she was supposed to do that she didn’t know, but the first step had to be apologizing.
With her heart beating a dull, heavy tattoo against her ribs, she shoved her hands into her pockets and headed down the hall. He’d come in late which was weird for him, but he probably wanted to avoid being around her. That kind of sucked, she realized. She’d messed up a friendship. How could she do that . . .
The door was shut.
She almost turned away. But she had to do this. Being a coward wasn’t going to fix this.
She took a deep breath and opened the door.
“Get out,” Zach said quietly from behind his desk.
He didn’t even bother to lift his head.
“I just need to say this and I will,” Keelie said quietly.
“I don’t want to hear it.” He flicked her a dark look. “Get out.”
“I need to say it. If you can’t accept it, that’s fine and I don’t blame you. But I’m sorry. It was a shitty thing to do, both to you and Abby and I’m sorry.” A thousand excuses and rationalizations bubbled up in her throat, but she kept them locked up. It didn’t matter, none of it. She’d hurt him, she’d hurt Abby, and she needed to make it all right. “When I see Abby, I’m going to apologize to her as well.”
Without saying another word, she turned on her heel and walked away.
* * *
Zach watched her narrow back disappear around the corner and then he sighed, rubbing his temple.
The misery in her eyes might have made him feel a little bad, but he was running a bit thin on everything but worry and frustration and desperation. Maybe once he found Abby and got her to talk to him, he could find it in him to care about something else, but until then . . . ?
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