That’s how the Gospel says good men should give.
And mayors and their mace-bearers, men in between
75 The King and the commons who keep the law,
Should put in the pillory and punishment stools
Brewers and bakers and butchers and cooks,
For these are the traders who treat most unfairly
The poor who must purchase portion by portion.
80 They repeatedly poison poor people by stealth,
Enriching themselves from retailing, rents
And property purchased with the food of the poor.
If they’re honest, how come their houses are so high,
And how do they buy large blocks of buildings?
85 But mischievous Miss Money persuades many mayors
To pocket the payments from pestering traders
And presents in kind such as pieces of plate,
And such treasures as rings to protect retail trade.
“For my sake,” she says, “do see they’re well served,
90 And let them impose their preposterous prices.”
But Solomon the Wise once said in a sermon
That was meant for mayors and the men of the law
Some words of warning that are well worth repeating:
For the congregation of the hypocrite is barren, and fire shall devour their tabernacles, who love to take bribes.2
In simple English his argument is
95 That fire shall fall and blaze and burn
The houses and homes of any who solicit
Hand-outs or honors by virtue of office.
Coming from his council, the King called Miss Money
And sent out sergeants to escort her to see him.
100 They found her and fetched her, inflamed with her charms.
The King then started to speak to her softly,
Saying quite mildly to Miss Money the maid:
“You have often enough done unwise acts,
But by far the most foolish was accepting Falsehood.
105 I’ll forgive your mistake and grant you my grace
But do no more deeds that are false till you die!
I’ve a knight named Conscience who has come to the court:
If he’s willing to wed you, will you accept him?”
“I shall,” she said. “God forbid that I shouldn’t!
110 I am in your hands, sire. Hang me if not!”
So Conscience was called to come and appear
Before the King and his council and clerks,
And kneeling Conscience inquired of the King
What he might wish and what he must do.
115 “Will you wed this woman?” asked the King, “if I will it?
She is keen to become your comrade and wife.”
But Conscience told the King, “May Christ forfend!
For woe betide me if I wed such a wife!
Her faith is frail and her speech is fickle,
120 She makes men do immoral misdeeds,
And trusting in her treasures betrays folk by thousands.
She teaches wantonness to wives and widows,
And encourages incontinence with gifts for the greedy.
“She finished your father with promises that were false,3
125 And she’s poisoned popes and impaired Holy Church.
By my Maker above, you’ll meet with no madam
Who’s a bigger bawd between heaven and hell.
Her tail wags for twopence and her tongue for nothing;
She’s as common as a cart-track to the meanest carter,
130 To monks and minstrels and mud-caked lepers,
Though jurors and summoners swear she is splendid
And sheriffs of shires would go short without her,
For men give their lands and their lives for her love.
“She free scores of prisoners by paying their price,
135 Tipping the turn-keys whatever it takes
To unfetter offenders, who flee where they will,
And she takes by the hair the harmless and honest,
Holding them fast and hanging them in hate.
She cares not a curse for excommunication
140 For she clothes the Church courts and the bishops’ clerks.
She can buy absolution when she likes with a bribe,
And has means to achieve as much in a month
As the Privy Seal patently completes in four.
She controls the Pope and appoints whom she pleases
145 For she and Sir Simony seal the appointments.
She blesses bishops who can’t read a book,
And puts up the funds for parsons and priests
To maintain mistresses and live-in molls
And infringe their vows by fathering children.
150 “The kingdom suffers if she’s close to the King
Since she favors the false and frustrates the true.
By Jesus, she corrupts even judges with her jewels!
She lies in the law-courts and locks justice out,
Scattering silver to smother good faith,
155 And in local disputes twists the law as she likes,
Robbing the plaintiffs of remedies and rights,
For the law is a maze to most humble men
With its endless arguments and high-flown language,
And they lose unless they can bribe the bench.
160 Thus Money causes bother to burgesses and barons,
And common folk too who try to live truly;
Why, she’s coupled the clergy to covetous greed!
That’s the life of this lady, may the Lord bring her sorrow;
May God see she suffers with the scum who assist her!
165 For Money so masters the people of means
That the poor have no power to complain when they’re wronged.”
Miss Money looked crushed but called for the King
To allow her to answer the alleged delicts,
And with good will and grace he granted her leave:
170 “If possible, prove you’re not guilty,” he replied,
“Or Conscience demands I dismiss you this minute.”
“My lord,” said the lady, “you’ll believe him the less
When you realize who’s right and who is wrong,
For Money can help when hard times happen.
175 I did not come to accuse you, Conscience,
Or to put you down out of pride or pique.
If you told the truth you’d maintain for a fact
That often in the past you’ve held out your hand
And dipped in my purse and dispensed what you pleased,
180 So I cannot conceive why you’re so inc
ensed.
I could if I wanted overwhelm you with wealth
And serve you in a style you can scarcely imagine.
“Before our sovereign you have slandered me sadly.
I’ve never killed a king or counseled such a crime,
185 Nor accomplished what you claim, I swear by the King,
Whom I never abandoned in the Normandy battles,
While shamefully several times you deserted,
Creeping into cottages because you were cold,
Wishing that winter would stop the whole war,
190 Dreading you would die when the clouds grew dark,
And hurrying home because you were hungry.4
“You showed no pity in pillaging the poor
And carried off their copperware to sell it at Calais,
While I stayed with my liege-lord, preserving his life.
195 I made men forget their misery through mirth,
Slapped them on the back to stir up their spirits,
And they danced with pleasure at the prospect of pickings.
By Mary, had I been commanding his men,
I wager my life that we should have won,
200 And the length and breadth of the land would belong
To our King and his kingdom, while all of his kin,
Both distant and near, would now be ennobled.
But Conscience, you coward, you counseled retreat.
For a sackful of silver you sold the King’s claim
205 To the richest realm on which rain ever fell!
“It is right when a king is the ruler of a kingdom
That respectful servants receive fair reward.
And friendships are forged with foreigners through gifts,
Which foster esteem for the sovereign’s skill.
210 Emperors and earls and all kinds of lords
Recompense their runners and riders with gifts.
The Pope and prelates all receive presents
And pay the people who apply their decrees.
So surely you see that servants should accept
215 The pence they are paid by their patrons and masters?
What do beggars with bags beg for but money?
Minstrels want money for making folk laugh,
The King takes cash for keeping the peace,
The men who teach children demand their money,
220 The priests who preach that people should do good
Receive money for Masses and to buy their meals,
While a tradesman takes payment for preparing an apprentice:
Merchants and money simply must go together;
Not a solitary soul can exist without money.”
225 The King said to Conscience, “By Christ, I reckon,
That Money’s a worthy and well-deserved winner!”
But Conscience declared as he knelt to the King:
“Sire, I can see two sides to Money.
The side that is good God gracefully grants
230 For work that’s done well in this mortal world,
As the prophet preached and put in the psalms:
Lord, who shall dwell in thy tabernacle?5
For King David asked, ‘Who shall dwell in your hills?
In your sanctuary, Lord, who shall sit with your saints?’
And the psalmist himself responded and said,
‘He that walketh without blemish, and worketh justice,6
235 Those of single intent who have stayed unsullied,
Whose acts were ruled by right and reason,
Who used no usury the length of their lives,
Who taught the poor and trusted to Truth,
He that hath not put out his money to usury, nor taken bribes against the innocent,7
Who helped the innocent and upheld the righteous,
240 Who did right without recompense and reinforced Truth.’
Such are the men, my master, who will meet
With God’s good grace when they go from this world.
“But then there is money amassed without measure
To support the miscreants people employ.
245 As it says in the Psalter at the end of a psalm,
In whose hands are iniquities; their right hand is filled with gifts.8
Unless Scripture lies, those who like hoarding silver
Will grievously regret it and grimly repent!
Even priests and parsons who seek out pleasure,
And demand sums of money for chanting Masses,
250 Are rewarded in this world, as Matthew warns,
Amen I say unto you, they have received their reward.9
“The pence that peasants and laborers are paid
Are a reasonable wage, not unwarranted reward,
And the money that merchants make may be fair
If a penny is paid for a pennyworth of goods.
255 But Miss Money, you must, I imagine, know Kings
And the vengeance that descended on Saul and his seed?10
God sent word to Saul through his servant Samuel,
That Agag the Amalechite and all his masses
Should die for a deed their ancestors did.
260 ‘Therefore,’ said Samuel, ‘God instructs you, Saul,
To abide by his bidding and obey his command:
Take your army to Amalec and uproot it all,
Butcher and burn both men and beasts,
Widows and wives, women and children,
265 Their movable, immovable property and more.
Whatever it’s worth, don’t take it away,
But destroy it and do not preserve a denier;
Be oppressive and pitiless and you shall prosper.’
“But Scripture says Saul then spared the king
270 And gathered his goods and his beasts out of greed,
Opposing the prophet’s express command.
So God said to Samuel that Saul should die
With all his seed for his shameful sin.
Thus misuse of money made misery for Saul,
275 And he and his heirs were hated by God.
From the case you may come to your own conclusion;
I shall say no more lest I suffer by speaking,
For the people with power now rule so supreme
That telling the truth is to tempt repercussions.
280 “Native Wit tells me, and I know it is true,
That one day Reason shall rule every realm
And that some shall suffer the same as Agag:
Samuel shall slay him and Saul shall be blamed,
And David shall be crowned and conquer every kingdom,
285 A sole Christian sovereig
n holding sway over all.
Money shall be master no more as now,
But loyal fidelity and lowliness and love
Shall prevail and flourish and favor true men,
While the law of fidelity shall duly condemn
290 Those betraying the truth and taking bribes.
No advocate then shall have a silk hood
Or a fur-trimmed cloak for quarreling in court.
“But Money now makes many miscreants lords,
Who believe they’re above and have bought the law,
295 But I, Conscience, shall come with love of mankind
To make Law a laborer, and such love shall arise,
And such peace among people and perfect truth,
That Jews shall rejoice and believe with joy
That Moses has been sent or the merciful Messiah,
300 And will ask how it is that men are so honest.
“All bearers of blades, broadswords and lances,
Of axes and hatchets, other weapons or arms,
Shall face sudden death or fashion them afresh
Into sickles and scythes, and plowshares and spades;
They shall turn their swords into plowshares.11
305 Each person shall ply plow, pick-axe or spade,
Spread muck or spin, or be sunk in sloth.
“Priests and parsons shall hunt with their prayers,
And wrestle with psalms from sunrise to sunset,
For if they go hunting with hawks or with hounds
310 They shall lose their living and leave their abode.
No king or constable, magistrate or mayor
Shall impose demands that oppress the people
Or summon them to swear and serve as jurors;
A single sentence shall decide each case,
315 Whether merciful or merciless, as Truth shall demand.
The King’s and the common court, the clerical and chapter,
Piers Plowman Page 7
