But will seize three things to sustain himself:
Food when refused for his want of funds
Or a friend who will pay, or a pledge to pawn—
In such a case he’s not scarred by sin
15 If he finds his food by subterfuge.
Second, if he snatches his clothes by deceit,
Need will bail him if he’s bankrupt or broke.
And lastly, the law of Nature will allow
Him to drink at each ditch if he’s dying of thirst.
20 So when necessary, Need may take and ignore
The counsel of Conscience and the Cardinal Virtues,
If the Spirit of Temperance is respected and observed.
“For that supreme spirit exceeds and transcends
The virtues of Justice and Fortitude by far.
25 The Spirit of Fortitude frequently falters
And makes demands beyond all measure,
Imposing a penalty too paltry or painful,
And greater grief than good faith warrants.
The Spirit of Justice often judges too simply
30 At the King’s request and the commons’ demand.
And the Spirit of Prudence depends in part
On suppositions about future events,
But suppositions are no substitute for wisdom:
Man proposes and God disposes.1
35 It is God who governs the goodly virtues,
But Need, having nothing, is nearest to God
And makes folk meek and mild as a lamb,
For the needy have to be humble at heart.
That is why philosophers once forsook wealth,
40 Wishing to live in willful want.
“And God himself left his spiritual state
And was made a modest member of mankind,
So needy, as Scripture unceasingly observes,
That he said in sorrow when suffering on the cross,
45 ‘Foxes have bolt holes, and birds can fly,
And fish have fins and can flee away,
But Need has nailed me and I needs must hang here
And suffer these sorrows that soon will be joy.’2
So don’t be abashed to beg for your bread,
50 For the maker of the world forwent all wealth.
No pauper was poorer or perished in more need.”
When Need had thus scolded me I soon fell asleep
And dreamt an odd dream of Antichrist’s entry
Attired like a man, overturning Truth,
55 Ruining the crop, ripping up the roots,
Spreading false shoots to satisfy wants
In each country he came to, cutting down Truth
And sowing deceit in its stead like a god.
He was followed by friars he provided with copes,
60 And was hailed and honored by religious orders,
Who rang their bells and bowed in obeisance,
Cloisters standing empty as they came to acclaim him.
Most folk too flocked to the tyrant and his fellows,
Only fools standing firm, preferring to die
65 Than to see Fidelity so dismally traduced.
Thus artful Antichrist reigned over all,
Save the humble and holy who feared no harm
And defied all falsehood and fraudulent liars,
Cursing those kings and their counselors and lackeys
70 Who marched with Antichrist, both masters and men.
But hundreds soon hurried to the hateful banner,
Which Pride was boldly brandishing about
With the Lord of Libidinous Lechery and Lust,
Who belabored Conscience, the keeper and carer
75 Of Christian kind and the Cardinal Virtues.
“My advice,” said Conscience, “to folk is to find
In the Church of Unity some charity and cheer
And to plead with Nature to support the Plowman
And defend us from the devil and his devious flock.
80 Let’s appeal to the people to repair to the Church
And abide there and battle against Belial’s children.”
Nature heeded Conscience and came from the cosmos
And sent out his foragers, fevers and fluxes,
Cardiac cramps and toothaches and coughs,
85 Colds and sores and suppurating scabs,
Boils and blotches and burning palsies,
Fits and spasms and vile diseases,
Which settled on people’s scalps and skins,
Till a legion of sufferers lost their lives.
90 “Help!” folk hollered. “Here comes Nature
With dreadful Death to undo us all!”
The Lord of Lechery and Lust cried out
For Comfort, his knight, to come to the colors.
“To arms!” he shouted. “Each strike for himself!”
95 And the massed ranks met before minstrels could signal
Or heralds could announce the names of the nobles.
Hoary Old Age was in the vanguard,
Claiming the right to carry Death’s colors.
Nature came next with numerous sores,
100 With poxes and plagues that disposed of many,
Rotting their corpses with corrupting cankers.
Then Death came driving in, dashing to dust
Kings and commoners, simpletons and scholars,
Earls and emperors, paupers and popes,
105 Striking them down till they ceased to stir.
Many lovely ladies, and the knights they loved,
Swooned and died, reduced by Death.
Out of kindness Conscience requested Nature
To stop and consider whether some of the throng
110 Would depart from Pride and be perfect Christians,
So Nature stopped to see if it was so.
But Fortune flattered the few left alive,
Promising long life and releasing Lust
Among the unmarried and married men too,
115 Starting a second assault on Conscience.
Lust was laughing as he laid about him
With insinuations and licentious sayings,
Armed with idleness and a haughty demeanor.
He bore a great bow, and his broad-tipped arrows
120 Were feathered with falsehoods and fair-seeming promise.
His talk of temptations brought trouble to Conscience,
Perturbing his team of teachers from the Church.
Then Covetousness came, calculating how
To conquer both Conscience and the Cardinal Virtues.
125 He was armed with ava
rice and hungry greed,
And his weapons were ways in which to hoard money,
Perverting people with falsehoods and fables.
Simony had sent him to assail Conscience,
And he preached to the people and appointed prelates
130 Who sided with Antichrist to safeguard their stipends.
Then Antichrist came like a confident courtier
And knelt to the King and Conscience in council.
Good Faith soon fled but Falsehood remained,
Brazenly undermining with mountains of money
135 The worth and the wisdom of Westminster Hall.
He would jog up to judges with “a tiny adjustment,”
Driving a lance through the law of the land,
Then canter to the Arches, the Archbishop’s court,
Making Civil-Law Simony by bribing who was sitting.
140 For a mantle of ermine he’d demolish a marriage,
Which ought to be for ever, and provide a divorce.
“I wish that Covetousness were Christian,” said Conscience.
“He’s such a stalwart, by Christ, in combat,
So bold and forbidding while his bag of gold lasts!”
145 But fashionable Life only laughed with delight,
Arming in haste with humorous jibes,
Making Holiness a joke and Gentleness a jest,
Calling Liar adorable and Fidelity a drudge,
Saying Conscience and his counsel were just so much cant.
150 Having made some money he mounted and rode
In the forefront with Pride but no vestige of Virtue,
Nor caring that Nature would come in due course
To cull every creature on earth save Conscience.
Then Life looked around for a likely lover,
155 Saying, “Health and I and a heart full of fun
Will dissipate dread of Death and Old Age
And silence your worries about suffering and sin.”
Thus Life and his lover, Dame Fortune, both lived
Until given in their glory the gift of a brat
160 Called Sloth, who would cause unceasing sorrow.
He shot up so swiftly that he soon was of age
And married Despair, a streetwalking strumpet.
Her father was a juryman who falsified facts,
One Thomas Two-tongues, often fined for contempt.
165 Sloth made a sling, being wary of war,
And established a twelve-mile circle of Despair.
But Conscience reacted by calling Old Age
To the field to fight and frighten Despair.
Old Age in haste left Death and chose Hope,
170 And struck down Despair but then struggled with Life,
Who fled in fear to Physic for help.
He asked for relief and was offered an ointment.
He paid a high price that pleased the physician,
Who added to the ointment a helmet of glass.3
175 But Life still had faith that Physic would avert
Old Age and Death with his draughts and his drugs.
But Old Age and Life were still hand to hand,
And finally Age felled a fur-clad physician,
Who dropped in a fit and was dead in three days.
180 “Now I see,” Life said, “that surgery and drugs
Are utterly hopeless at staving off Age.”
And in hope of some healing he leapt on Good Heart
And rode off to Revelry, the home of carousing,
The Comfort of Company, as sometimes it’s called.
185 Old Age chased after him, over my head,
And my brow was left bald and my crown quite bare,
A swingeing assault to be seen for ever.
“Hang you,” I said, “you ill-mannered Age.
Since when has your highway led over men’s heads?
190 If you had any manners you’d ask my permission!”
“Oh, sure,” he said, and assailed me again,
Clouting my ears to hamper my hearing,
Mauling my mouth to pull out my molars,
And ensuring I shuffled, shackled with gout.
195 My wife was sorry to see my poor state,
And wished I had waddled away to heaven,
For my limb that she loved and liked to feel,
Lying next to me naked at night in bed,
Was now listless and limp, with no life left in it,
200 So sorely had she and Old Age overstrained it.
As I sat feeling sorry I saw Nature come near.
Then Death stood beside me and I started to shake
And appealed to Nature to put paid to my pain.
“Hoary Old Age has visited me here;
205 I wish you’d whisk me away from his grasp.”
“You should seek out Unity and stop inside
Till I send you a summons if you want to escape.
But before you leave, you’d best learn how to live.”
“What skills must I study?” I said to Nature.
210 “You must learn to love and to leave all others.”
“And clothes and food?” I inquired. “And my keep?”
“If you love sincerely,” he said, “you won’t lack
For belongings or food as long as you live.”
So as Nature told me, I traveled via Contrition
215 And Confession to Unity, the fortress of faith,
Where Conscience was constable and sought to save Christians
But was sorely besieged by seven great giants,
Allies of Antichrist and enemies of Conscience.
Sloth with his sling made a serious assault,
220 Supported by scores of priests of Pride,
In cloaks of Covetousness, combating Conscience
With their fashionable dress and their dangling daggers.
An Irish priest muttered, “By Mary, it matters
What Conscience mumbles no more to me
225 Than the price of a pint if I pull in the money.”
And so said sixty from the same stretch of land.
They shot off a second great sheaf of oaths
And hook-headed arrows, “God’s heart” and “God’s nails,”
And Unity and Holiness had almost to yield.
230 Conscience called Learning to lend him his lance,
“Or these poisonous priests and prelates will kill me!”
Some friars heard him and hurried to help,
But Conscience ignored them for they knew next to nothing.
Need then drew near and announced to Conscience
235 That the friars were purely fishing for appointments.
“They’re pr
obably poor and short of a patron,
So they flatter the rich for funds and food.
But since they have opted for humble habits,
They should chew as they chose, not chase after livings!
240 He who begs to live is more likely to lie
Than the laborer whose labor the beggar relies on.
So friars should leave off the luxuries of life,
And be like beggars, eating blessings like angels.”
But Conscience laughed at this critical account
245 And kindly comforted and called to the friars.
“You all have a home in the Holy Church,
In Unity, honestly, and all I ask you
Is to help that Unity, to harbor no envy
Of the learned or lowly, and to live by your Rule.
250 Then I warrant you will not want for a thing,
Plenty of apparel and plenty of food,
If you learn to love and stop chopping logic.
Saints Francis and Dominic forfeited fortunes,
Lands and lordships and schooling for love.
255 Don’t pester for parishes, for Nature makes plain
That all that God made is moderate and measured.
He prescribed and established specific numbers
And named things anew, and numbered the stars.4
Monarchs and knights with dominion and might
260 Have only so many men at their command.
They commission that many when marching to war,
And surplus soldiers receive no pay;
Other fighters on the field, no matter how fervent,
Are spurned and seen as scavengers and crows.
265 Religious orders have a limited allowance
Of regular members by right of their Rule,
And a limit is laid down in law to the numbers
Of the various classes of folk, except friars!
So common sense tells me,” Conscience concluded,
270 “It’s improper to pay you lest your numbers expand!
Even heaven is numbered, not endless like hell,
So I wish you friars were fixed at some figure
And notaries noted and wrote down your names.”
Envy heard this and exhorted the friars
Piers Plowman Page 35
