“Frisco?” Shannon’s voice comes out soft.
“Yeah?” I look at her then have to look away because her eyes are my own.
“Mom”—she pauses—“well, she didn’t mean to do it.”
“What do you know?”
Moving to the couch, she sits as if the weight of carrying herself is too much.
My stomach twists as I think of the pain and loss she’s enduring right now.
“More than I should,” she gives me honestly. “Looking at you, it’s obvious my dad is not my dad. Thinking about it now, he had a plan for me, too. Things he said over the years … He was buying time, and then he was going to show me to you. He would always tell Mom the day would come when he would proudly have me on display like his trophy from the Hellions.”
Paul Watson thought my daughter was some prize trophy to hold over my club instead of the beautiful young woman she is. I fight the urge to punch something.
“I know it’s not easy, but can you tell me more?” I ask.
“I know my mom was with him when she was young. She was, like, fourteen-ish when she met him. He was down here on vacation, visiting his uncle Cheeks, who was in Fury. He went back to North Carolina because that’s where he lived. Then Mom said he suddenly lived here and was trying to patch into the club. She said she thought the life on the edge was exciting and fell hopelessly in love with him. Then Paul Watson was no more, and in his place was ‘Victory,’ or Vic, as the guys in the club called him. He was consumed by some club called the Hellions, which I see now are you guys.”
“Did your mom tell you about us?”
She shakes her head. “Not your club, but you. I know about you. Vic thought you were his way in. Mom said she met you, and the more she fought to do what he wanted her to do, the more she found herself loving you.” Tears fall down her face. “I know you won’t believe me, but I don’t think my mom intended to hurt you like she did. But if you knew Vic, you would know she had to do what he wanted.”
I pace the room, unable to speak.
“Mom said she spent a few years in North Carolina with you. In fact, she always promised me she would take me there one day so I could see the peaceful, quiet areas without all the hustle and bustle. She said she reached a point where she was broken up inside, and you walked away for her to be free. Knowing she couldn’t stay in the area and see you move on, she came back to Florida.”
At her pause, I look into her eyes and see fear. “Go on,” I encourage. “What’s got you upset?”
“She said she first came back to Florida because it was home, but she tried to break up with my dad—I mean Vic,” she stumbles. “He wouldn’t have any part of it, even though he was never faithful to Mom. I’ve seen more whores in and out of his room than I thought one man could handle.” She blows out a breath. “It was me. She was pregnant with me. She always told me how hard she found it to give me a different life. For me, she married him. She would have stayed, but he got tired of her spells.”
“Spells?” I ask, hating reliving my daughter’s childhood like this.
“Depression. The doctor said it was depression. Mom said it was heartbreak and guilt because she deserved the pain. Either way, she had spells where she would cut herself, like, all over and just lie there, bleeding. She never cut deep enough to bleed out, like suicide, but enough to hurt herself.”
Immediately, I remember back to the last day on my bed when she cut herself and then me.
“I’m sorry you went through all that, Shannon.”
“She had a good heart, Frisco. She just didn’t know how to handle things. Vic is a mean bastard of a man. She made the best of things.” Her dark eyes look up and meet mine. “Please don’t hate her.”
What the hell do I say to that?
I shake my head as a battle wages on inside my heart. Tilly fucked me in every way imaginable, and now my daughter—our daughter—wants me not to hate the woman who tried to take it all from me.
“Frisco, she really did care about you. She was in a mess that was bigger than you or I could ever understand. I’ll go with you. I’ll go to North Carolina. Just please don’t hate my mom. She could have left me in that club with the whores, but she didn’t. She had her spells, but never when I was around, and she always took care of me. She was a good mom. I can’t go with you, knowing you hate her when she’s all I ever had.”
Thinking back to my own childhood and the many times I lay on concrete beside my mom just so she wouldn’t be alone, I understand what Shannon feels.
“I don’t hate your mom. In fact, I respect your loyalty.”
She twists her hands nervously. “What’s going to happen to me?”
“I’m going to take you home with me. You’re going to learn what I learned from the Hellions. Family isn’t always blood. Our club isn’t like Fury, Shannon. You’re safe, and you’re family.”
“I hope what you say is true.”
“You’ll see. I promise you’ll see the Hellions are family, and they’ll take you as you are. They did me. You will get a firsthand lesson in family with my club.” I give her a smile, thinking about the chance I have to let my daughter experience the best kind of family there is—the Hellions family.
Holding On
“You okay, brother?” I look at Roundman and see the tired look in his eyes.
“Times are changing.”
“What’s that mean?”
He leans back in his office chair for a beat. It’s just me and him today. Jenna, Ruby’s wife, is in the customer area, but she can’t hear us and knows better than to disturb us.
Standing, Roundman goes to one of the filing cabinets that line the wall of his office. Grabbing a folder, he moves to his safe then takes out the bullet he put inside years ago. Then he rolls the metal casing in his fingers and smiles.
“There was a time when I wanted to use this.”
I laugh. “On Tripp?”
“It’s got his name on it,” he gives me back sarcastically.
“He’s a good man. Damn good club prez,” I back up my Catawba Hellions’ charter and Roundman’s son-in-law.
“He is. I know you wanted to fuck shit up for Tank before he fixed himself and made things right with Sass.”
“Yeah,” I reply honestly. “He’s straight now. Tank’s a better man to my daughter than I was to her momma years ago.”
Roundman studies me. “You still feeling the guilt, Danza? Come on, we were young. You fucked up, you owned it, and you’ve spent years making that shit right with Mary Alice.”
“I’ll spend a lifetime, and it still won’t be enough.”
“I had a lifetime of Dia’s love, and it wasn’t enough.”
I raise an eyebrow at my longtime friend. “You ever think of moving on?”
“Nope. Love like that doesn’t come twice.”
“Then what’s the change you’re talking about?”
He tosses the folder onto his desk and gets comfortable in his chair. “Club business, shop business, mini storage business.”
I gesture with my hand for him to go on.
“Ain’t getting’ any younger. Need to know what parts you want, Danza.”
“You steppin’ down?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet, but we need to think of the long-term and who will be where.” He slides a piece of paper over to me. “That’s from my lawyer, giving you the garage. If Tripp and Doll move home, they’ll have the storage. As for the club, when the time comes, I can pass the gavel to you or take it to a vote for Tripp. You tell me, brother; what do you feel?”
I blow out a breath. That’s a loaded question.
“I feel like you just dropped the world on me. I feel like there is more going on than you are telling me.”
“Frisco has a whole new family situation and eighteen years of life to catch up on. You’re my VP, and you’ve always had my back. I want what you want when the time comes that I’m not wearing this prez patch anymore.” He rubs his goatee. “No need to answe
r right now, but I need you to think on it.”
“I don’t want to wear your patch, Roundman. It’s yours and always has been. If you step down, I step down, too.” Plain and simple, just as it should be.
“We’ll talk more on it soon,” he says right as his desk phone rings for a transport.
Well, at least I have time to get used to the idea.
***
As I walk in the house Mary Alice and I have shared for so long, it’s quiet. Too quiet. My wife is always in the kitchen or cleaning something. She doesn’t sit still, doesn’t nap, and she doesn’t sit quietly in a room somewhere, contemplating life.
Only, when I go into our bedroom. that’s what she’s doing. With her wedding band rolling between her fingers, she sits silently on our bed.
“Mary Alice,” I greet, entering the space.
She looks up at me, her eyes swollen and tears streaming down her face.
Rushing to her, I drop to my knees at her side. “What’s wrong? Is it Sass? Red?” I ask as worry fills me for our daughter and grandson. “That fucker Nick didn’t come around, did he? I’ll handle it, Mary Alice.”
“Will you handle you?” she asks me in a whisper.
“Huh?”
“All these years, Rhett, I’ve never known any love but yours.”
“Where are you going with this?”
“You are the only man I’ve ever given my heart, my body, and my life to.”
Guilt immediately eats at me. “Mary Alice, it’s only you.”
“Now, yes, it is.” She laughs sarcastically. “You know, the first time you stepped out, Dia said, Mary Alice, y’all were young. He’s a man; he just needed to try something different. We even laughed about how you were better in bed after the barfly taught you a thing or two. I found a way to get passed it. Then you went to jail.
“For three years, Rhett, I stood by and raised our daughter, made sure you had what you needed, visited, and I held you down.”
“I never said you didn’t.”
She reaches out and runs her fingers over my cheek and lips. I kiss her palm softly. God, don’t let this be the end.
“Our daughter turned her back on everything we taught her because of me, Rhett. She couldn’t stand the woman I had become, the things I stood by and allowed for the sake of the club and the sake of being your ol’ lady. My own daughter was ashamed of the woman she thought I was.”
“She doesn’t feel that way now. She understands, Mary Alice. Everyone in the club understands. I fucked up, baby. I fucked up beyond a fuck up. I ruined what we had, not you. I promised you, when I came home from jail. After we lost Rocky and Marie, I promised you. I straightened my shit out, no more barflies, no more leaving you behind. I calculated the risks, and baby, you gotta know I’ve been faithful.”
“It’s not about you, Rhett. It’s not about Danza’s role in the Hellions. Don’t you see it’s about me?”
“Where is this coming from? Fuck, where is it heading?”
She shakes her head, and panic fills her eyes. “I don’t know, Rhett. I don’t know anymore. I didn’t just marry you; I married into the Hellions. We’re family. The club has always supported me when you failed to do so. When Ruby and Vida took their time apart, the club came together not only for him, but her and their kids. When Boomer and Pam rolled into town, we all took her back, helping her mom and kids even though they were from the Catawba chapter. Hellions are family regardless of their chapter.
“Things are changing. The time is coming when Dia and I were supposed to sit back and watch our girls fill our shoes.”
I nod as dread consumes me.
“She’s not here to do it with me. I miss my friend. I miss the life I thought we would have. Marie is gone. Rocky, too. We have loved, Rhett. We have lost. Where does the ride go now?”
“Wherever we let it take us, baby. It goes wherever we let it lead us. But, Mary Alice, please tell me we do it together.”
She tilts her head to the side, studying me. “Why?”
“Why?” I choke out. “Because we have loved; we have lost; we have broken; and dammit, we’ve rebuilt. We are going into the prime of our lives, and there isn’t a single soul I want to share that with but you. I was young. I was dumb. But, baby, I did everything I could to keep you safe, build a life for us together, and keep us together. I made mistakes along the way, and that’s on me, not you, but I’ve changed, and you know it. Let me have the opportunity to spend the rest of our days giving you everything I should have been giving you from the start.”
She shakes her head. “I made a fool of myself by standing by you. I’ve been your doormat—come in, wipe your feet off, take off a load, find your release, and walk right back over me on your way out. I allowed it.”
Climbing onto the bed over her, I bring my eyes level with hers. “Don’t. Please, Mary Alice, don’t you do it.”
“I love you, Rhett, but where did it all go so wrong? Why did I let it all slide? Dia told me I should have kicked your ass more often. I didn’t. Blaine has never let himself love again. I can’t say that, if it had been me and not Dia, you would have given me the same loyalty.”
“Maybe there was a time I wouldn’t have. I can’t go back in time and change things, Mary Alice. I can tell you that, for years, I have been loyal, loving, faithful, and for as many days as you give me, I’ll give you my everything. I can tell you that, if tomorrow were to come and this was no more, I would never have a love like we share again. You are it for me, Mary Alice, and I took that for granted once, but I won’t do it again.”
With shaking hands, she cups my face and pulls me to her, kissing me softly. I taste the salt of her tears, and the need to be one with her consumes me as I deepen our kiss.
Breaking away, I drop my head to her neck. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I’m sorry for all the pain between us.”
I kiss her neck before I roll us to our sides and kiss her lips again. Wrapping her leg around me, I let my hand tease her through her cloth pants and panties.
“I love you, Mary Alice. I promise you it’s only ever been you in my heart. You own me, baby. I promise you my loyalty.” I kiss her again as she tightens her arms around me.
Slowly, tenderly, I give my wife what I should have given her years before as I make love to her body. I give her my heart, my soul, and my body. I give her every part of me, knowing without a shadow of a doubt, for me and her, this is our forever ride together in life. We could have lost it all, should have lost it all, but in the end, she loved me through everything, and I’ll love her until the end of time.
Couldn’t Be Prouder
I ring the doorbell at the same time I hear something crash to the floor.
Pulling the gun from my back, I ready myself as I twist the doorknob, only to find it unlocked.
Entering the space, I find my precious Doll on the floor naked. Her husband Tripp is on top of her with her legs around his shoulders just as he thrusts hard, groaning her name.
“Fucking shit, Tripp. I should shoot your naked ass.”
“Daddy!” Doll squeals, pulling her legs down and her husband down to cover herself. “What the hell are you doing here?”
I turn my head toward the kitchen. “Surprise.” I don’t hide my sarcasm. “I’ll go make myself a snack. You two better have made me a granddaughter during your little tryst.”
“Nothing little about me or about how I fuck my wife,” Tripp gives back smartly.
“Shoulda put that fuckin’ bullet in you years ago.”
I go into the kitchen to get a snack, listening to my daughter scramble around before I feel her two small arms come around and hug me from behind. Her blonde hair is sticking out everywhere just like her mom’s used to.
I reach behind me and give her a squeeze.
“Be right back. Tripp will need his T-shirt back, and I’m sure you want me to not remind you of what we were doing.”
I laugh. Then on a sigh, I watch as she scurri
es away to get dressed.
“You’ll always be my little girl, Doll,” I whisper to the space around me.
It’s not long before the two of them are in front of me again. Tripp reaches out, and we exchange the normal handshake, half-hug, and back slap before I give my daughter a proper hug now that she’s wearing her own clothes again.
“Where are the boys?” Tripp asks, looking for the rest of the club.
“In Haywood’s Landing.”
“You came alone?” My daughter questions with concern.
“Prez doesn’t need to ride alone,” Tripp reminds me of something I know very well.
“I didn’t come here for Hellions’ business. I came here to see my daughter.” With my explanation out, I lift the envelope from my back pocket. “You were too young when your mother passed on to have this. The time has come, Delilah, that you get another piece of her.”
Putting the envelope to my lips, I inhale, barely able to smell her perfume as I let go of the last thing I’ve held on to for our daughter. The envelope is wrinkled and faded from years of being tucked away. However, Claudia’s script is still bold and full of the love she put into it when she wrote the letter.
Sitting down at her dining room table, my precious Doll breaks the seal that was last touched by her mother’s lips. On a sigh and with tears already filling her eyes, she reads the letter barely above a whisper as her voice cracks with emotions.
My dearest Doll, Delilah,
Oh, baby girl, how I wished for you, prayed for you, and loved having you. If you’re reading this, then the cancer won, and my precious, I’m so sorry to leave you. Please know I do so with the knowledge that you have a family with the Hellions and a father who will give his own life before he lets any harm ever come to a single blonde hair on your head.
Originals Ride: Hellions Motorcycle Club (Hellions Ride Book 8) Page 10
