by AD Hartley
‘Nice that you are reading up on the history of the company.’ Randy said, missing Carlo’s knowing wink to Abi. ‘But I still don’t see what the problem is.’
‘The problem,’ Ben continued, ‘is that the paper has assumed that as the owner of Leodoni’s is taking part in the bet, the other person who will be at risk of a good old dunking is…’
‘Oh dear, I see where this is going.’ Randy said grabbing the paper.
‘No? You’re kidding?’ Carlo asked, jumping up to read the paper over Randy’s shoulder.
‘Nup.’ Abi replied.
‘It is otherwise a wonderful piece.’ Ben said, stifling a laugh.
‘He’s going to kill us!’ Randy said, appalled. ‘Carlo, we’ll have to call it off.’
But as everyone looked at Carlo, he leaned back against the wall and they could see him slowly start to shake as he bent over, his hands on his waist.
‘Carlo?’ Randy said. ‘Did you hear me?’
But Carlo was unable to answer as he couldn’t hold back any longer and finally let out a roaring laugh that shook his entire body.
‘This is going to be great!’ he laughed racing out the door to tell his father the good news.
Gardener’s Gunge Tank
The day of the fair arrived bathing the town’s central park in sun as workers bustled around in the early morning light setting up stages, stalls, rides and canopies.
Unable to get out of the competition in any honourable manner, Mr Hill had been pressured to go ahead agreeing with the rules as set by Randy, but had put Herbert in charge, leaving him in no doubt that Hill’s would be expected to win.
By eight o’clock that morning both companies had parked their vans to the right of the main stage area, the agreed upon “Battle ground” where the two “teams” were busily setting up. Mr Lumsden was going to run the Leodoni’s van with help from Carlo, whilst the rest of the gang were to drum up customers across the fair with free samples.
Less than thirty meters away Carlo could see Herbert bellowing at Jones, Hill’s most experienced ice cream van man, who looked less than pleased at having such an inexperienced member of staff shouting and screaming orders at him as if he was entering battle and not merely about to sell ice cream. Carlo could tell that the arrangement was unlikely to last till lunchtime if Herbert continued shouting, given the irritated looks the older man was throwing his way.
Carlo looked over to where Abi was decorating the chalkboard with unnecessarily ornate patterns when all it really needed to say was “Leodoni’s Vanilla Ice Cream - £1 per cone” but noticing the expensively printed “Hill’s Vanilla Ice Cream - £1 per cone” signs being placed around the van opposite, he decided to let her get on with it.
After agreeing to the price, the management at both companies had compromised on an easy to judge competition based around the number of their basic “classic” ice cream cones sold between 9am and 3pm on the day of the fair. The Mayor of the town had agreed to be the independent adjudicator at the end of the day when either Carlo or Mr Hill, who they had been assured would be in attendance later that day, would be dunked.
Abi and Newton were given sample trays to carry around the fair offering the public a taste and pointing them in the right direction. Norton had sulked a little that he wasn’t offered the sample tray too. “There would be nothing left to sample” Carlo had stated, but Norton cheered up a little when he and Ben were given security detail along with the mission to keep an eye on the Hill’s van opposite, the other vans around the fair and, most importantly, Herbert Fitzherbert, whom Carlo was now certain was the cockroach saboteur following the revelations of the faked evidence against Leodoni’s. Whilst he thought it unlikely Hill’s would try anything in full public view, Carlo wasn’t willing to risk losing the bet to underhand tactics, although he had firmly warned Ben and Norton against trying any pranks of their own.
Whilst his friends were understandably excited about the competition, in the back of his mind Carlo knew this was merely the public face of a much more profound fact. Today marked the return of Leodoni’s Ice Cream. Batches of all the most popular flavours had been produced during a punishing manufacturing schedule in the days leading up to the town fair and would be available to buy at shops and supermarkets across the region that very day. All seemed to be in order and Carlo afforded himself a quiet smile as he looked at his busy team readying themselves for what he planned as a celebratory day no matter what the outcome.
The only slightly concerning aspect of the day floated past Carlo’s face causing his smile to disappear as he watched a box of ice cream cones glide towards the other side of the van.
‘Dad! Give that here before Lumsden sees you!’ Carlo whispered, looking behind him to see Lumsden outside collecting more boxes from the company truck. Mr Leodoni had insisted on coming along rather than staying with the diary back in Carlo’s bedroom, but Carlo was apprehensive that he would somehow give himself away as he often forgot himself in the excitement of the moment, either visibly appearing or else moving something when invisible. If seen, Carlo was sure that would be even more damning to their reputation than a cockroach in the produce.
‘I’m only trying to help!’ Luigi moaned as Carlo snatched the box before it landed on the counter and put it down himself with a slam.
‘Careful, you’ll break the cones! They’re only wafer!’ Luigi said, alarmed.
‘Dad, please just try and keep out of the way.’ Carlo said, looking around the van, unsure where his father was.
‘How can I be in the way?’ Luigi asked from somewhere near the serving hatch. ‘You can just walk through me!’
‘Yes, but you keep picking things up or accidentally popping your arm through the counter. If someone sees you they’ll have a heart attack! OK?’
‘OK.’ Luigi answered as Lumsden re-entered the van carrying 6 boxes and noticed Carlo standing still, unsure if Lumsden had noticed him holding a conversation with an empty van.
‘What?’ Lumsden asked? ‘Have I got ssssomething on my face?’
‘No, no… carry on.’ Carlo said spotting a cloth behind the now puzzled Lumsden, which had started to wipe down the counter apparently of its own accord. Carlo hurried out of the van, walked around to the side and thrust his hand through the serving hatch, grabbing the cloth off his Dad.
‘Stop it!’ he growled, walking away as Luigi grumbled quietly to himself causing Lumsden to inspect the ice cream maker, anxious that it was making odd noises.
At nine o’clock the fair officially opened and a large crowd slowly filled the park visiting the food stalls filled with local produce and pre-requisite “funny shaped veg” competitions. The carousel and big wheel were extremely popular, as were the dodgems, which Ben was told by the operator he was not allowed to use under any circumstances having tried to take one for a joy ride the previous summer during a trip to the seaside.
Around the edges of the fair there were donkey rides, a car boot sale, bouncy castles, and various stages with local musicians competing to be heard over one another. As the morning wore on, the heat rose and the hotdog, burger and other food stalls did a roaring trade as the visitors increased. And through the mass darted Abi and Newton offering samples of Leodoni’s best ice cream, pointing the van out to those who enjoyed it and returning to base every now and then for fresh samples, happily drinking any remaining samples of ice cream that had melted too much to be handed out.
Norton and Ben had procured a parasol and two deck chairs from somewhere and had stationed themselves to the right of the van directly opposite the Hill’s team with a sign hanging off the umbrella with the word “SeCUriTY” scrawled across it. As Carlo took a quick break mid-morning he hopped out of the van to see both his friends lounging on the chairs with their sunglasses on staring at the van opposite. Norton seemed to have a never-ending supply of food next to him and was biting into a burger, dripping tomato sauce down his t-shirt as Ben politely told a lady pulling a wailing child behind h
er that no, they weren’t the official park security, but if she followed the path round to the right and then took the first left she would find the First Aid tent. The woman walked away as Ben settled back down in the chair pulling his sunglasses in place.
‘I’m just taking five minutes.’ Carlo called to Lumsden, wiping his forehead with his handkerchief as he walked over to his friends saying ‘Hardly inconspicuous is it?’
Norton pointed up to the parasol and said ‘We’re undercover.’ between bites of his burger.
‘I’m not sure you’ve quite grasped the concept.’ Carlo replied. Norton shrugged as he popped a can of lemonade and chugged half of it back, reaching across to offer the other half to Ben, who didn’t move.
‘Oi!’ Norton said, waving the can in front of Ben’s face. ‘Want some?’
Ben continued to ignore his friend, staring straight ahead at the Hill’s van. Carlo glanced across and saw nothing out of the ordinary. ‘You’re kidding me.’ he muttered to himself as he walked across and pulled the sunglasses of Ben’s face to discover he had dropped off to sleep.
‘Hey!’
‘What? Gah, it’s bright!’ Ben complained, waking up with the sun in his eyes and grabbing his sunglasses back from Carlo.
‘I thought you two were supposed to be keeping an eye on them?’ Carlo said, pointing behind him.
‘We’re taking it in turns.’ Ben replied, finally taking the drink from Norton.
Carlo looked dubious. ‘Well, have you seen anything?’
‘Nup.’ they chorused, continuing to stare across at the Hill’s van.
‘Where’s Herbert?’ Carlo asked. ‘He doesn’t seem to be there.
‘He wandered off about 20 minutes ago.’ Norton confirmed.
‘Where did he go?’
‘Dunno.’
Carlo stared down at them, incredulous.
‘What?’ Norton asked.
‘Oh, we should have followed him?’ Ben asked as the penny finally dropped.
Carlo nodded emphatically, waved his hands in the air in silent frustration and stalked off leaving the boys to play rock paper scissors to see who had to go and find Herbert.
Despite the failings of the Security department, Carlo had to admit the day was going well. Abi and Newton had brought in many customers on their rounds of the park. Others had read about the competition and the re-launch in the papers and a number of people had mentioned how happy they were to see Leodoni’s back. For some people it was a reminder of their youth, whilst others passed on their opinions regarding the relative merits of the two competitors’ products.
Overall the competition was very tight and as they passed into the afternoon both teams had sold a similar amount of ice creams, a fact, it appeared, that was not lost on Herbert.
‘He’s back!’ Ben whispered into the driver’s door of the van.
‘Who is?’ Carlo asked, still serving a customer.
‘Herbert! He’s back and something’s up!’
Carlo handed over the customer’s change and made room for Lumsden to serve the next in the queue as he climbed out of the van beside Ben.
‘What do you mean, something’s up?’
Ben pointed around the van towards the Hill’s team.
‘That’s a big queue.’ Carlo admitted, noting the fifteen or so people lining up in front of the Hill’s serving hatch.
‘Yeah, but they all just came at once.’ Ben said. ‘Herbert pulled up in a minibus and that lot got out.’
‘He’s ferrying them in from other parts of the park?’ Carlo asked, not sure if he agreed that the tactic was fair.’
Ben shook his head. ‘Nup, he came from the main gates. He’s ferrying them in from outside and I think he’s giving the ice cream away! Not one of them has paid yet!’
‘Hmmm.’ Carlo mused, trying not to jump to the wrong conclusion. Perhaps they’re a group and the last one in line is paying for everyone?’
‘Wake up, mate!’ Ben said, pointing at Herbert, who was loitering behind his van. ‘He’s picked up a bunch of his mates outside and he bussed them here and is giving them free ice creams.’
‘He’s doing what?’ Abi shouted from behind them, having walked over to collect a new batch of samples without the boys noticing. ‘You see, I told you we should have judged this on profits and not how much ice cream you have left!’ she said, staring at Carlo. ‘We’ve made it easy for them to cheat now. Cheats! she shouted over at the Hill’s team.
‘Who’s a cheat?’ asked a disembodied voice.
‘Argh!’ screamed Ben, Abi and Carlo together.
‘Don’t do that!’ Carlo said, trying to calm his pulse. ‘Where are you?’
‘Here.’ Luigi said from somewhere in front of them. ‘Who’s cheating?’
‘No one.’ Carlo said, hoping to keep his father out of any altercation.
‘They are!’ Abi added immediately, pointing across at the Hill’s van. Carlo turned and stared at her.
‘What?’ she asked. ‘They are.’
‘Yes, but it doesn’t need to concern all of us, does it, Dad?’ Dad?’ Carlo looked around but knew his father wasn’t just invisible… he wasn’t there.
‘Great, thanks!’ he muttered to Abi.
‘What did I do?’ she asked.
‘That.’ Ben answered pointing.
‘Oh, cra…’ Abi started as Norton pushed by followed by Newton.
‘What on earth is that?’ Newton asked.
The gang looked on in fascination as, unbeknownst to the queue of people waiting outside the Hill’s van, four large ice cream cones floated around the van and began to hover over them.
‘Haha. This’ll be great!’ Norton laughed.
‘No it won’t!’ Carlo added, looking anxious. ‘He’ll be discovered.’
‘You better go and get him.’ Newton said, looking at Carlo.
Carlo nodded back in understanding. ‘You’re right. It’s the only way.’ He immediately set off at full speed.
‘Where’s he going?’ Norton asked as he, Ben and Abi turned to watch their friend disappearing across the field in the opposite direction from the Hill’s van.’
‘He’s gone to get Mr Leodoni.’ Newton answered with a smile.
‘But Mr Leodoni is over there.’ Abi said, pointing back to the ice cream van.’
‘Observe.’ Newton said, grinning. They looked on as Carlo sprinted past a group of younger kids playing football. ‘Any second now...’ said Newton who turned to look at the van just as the four ice cream cones reached the front of the queue and paused, ready to drop. The others turned to see what he was talking about just in time to see the ice creams suddenly leap away from the oblivious customers towards them.
‘Arg!’ screamed Norton, ducking as the four cones shot past them following the still running Carlo.
Carlo jumped over a sunbathing couple and continued to run as fast as he could, not daring to turn around to see if his plan was working. He was starting to get slightly concerned that he was heading directly for the duck pond ahead when something whizzed past his ears and Mr Leodoni abruptly appeared a few yards in front of him looking surprised.
Carlo had no time to stop and ran straight through his father and the ice creams he was still holding until he came to an eventual halt, ice cream covering his face and one of the cones stuck to his forehead making him look like a dishevelled and sticky unicorn.
Carlo slumped to the floor breathing heavily as Ben and Abi sprinted towards them.
‘What did you do that for?’ Luigi asked grumpily.
‘You were about to give yourself away!’ Carlo said, between gasps.
‘I was not. Who would have known?’ his father replied.
‘We’ll talk about this once I get cleared up. Just, go away for now, right?’
‘Go away? Go away? You know fine well I can’t go away. This entire incident has only gone to prove that I can’t “go away”, hasn’t it!’ he shouted.
‘No, I mean, I can still see you
. You’re visible to everyone.’ Carlo wheezed.
‘Oh, right. Sorry.’ Luigi replied, disappearing as the others arrived laughing.
‘That was amazing!’ Ben enthused.
‘Thanks. Always willing to entertain.’ Carlo sighed as Ben helped him to his feet.
Carlo pulled off his sticky t-shirt and tried to find a clean bit to wipe his face with as they trudged back to van.
‘Parents!’ he said, with feeling. ‘Bloody parents!’
‘I’m still here you know!’ Luigi said.
As they got back to the van they noticed that the long line that had queued outside the Hill’s van was gone, but interestingly a new line had formed outside the Leodoni’s van. In fact Lumsden was struggling to keep up with demand, filling cone’s as fast as he could whilst Newton was hanging out of the hatch and handing them to customers. Over the way, Herbert was stood with his hands on his hips looking extremely annoyed staring at Newton.
‘What on earth is going on here?’ Carlo asked, both delighted and slightly concerned as he jumped into the van to relieve Lumsden.
‘I had an idea.’ Newton said, guiltily. ‘Well, Lumsden did, actually.’
Carlo looked at Lumsden, perplexed.
‘Don’t look at me, Missssster Leodoni. I just found that.’ he said, pointing to a tub of ice cream behind them.
‘And what is that?’ Carlo asked, none the wiser.
‘It’s the last tub of the tainted batch we recalled. The one we kept until we found out what happened. I was sssssupposed to store it away, but I didn’t want to leave it at the factory just in case, so I was going to take it home. I put it in the ice box of my van but forgot about it with all the preparationssss for the fair.’
‘The tainted ice cream?’ Carlo asked. ‘The one with the…’ Lumsden nodded. ‘What did you do?’ Carlo asked Newton with an accusatory tone.
‘Well, he was going to throw it away.’ Newton defended himself. ‘I just thought it could be put to better use. So I filled a cone and gave it to Norton.’
