Then she went straight into a song about how she couldn’t give her heart to him, that their love wasn’t meant to be. She watched the smile fade. He turned away, pulled out his wallet, put his money down and walked out.
She missed a series of chords, but quickly recovered. She’d expected to send him a message that she couldn’t be involved with him, not that she wanted him out of her life. Was she going to have to have one or the other? Which one couldn’t she live without?
She took a break and wished Mercedes was here.
*****
“You sang a song to him?” Ariana asked the minute Brioney clocked in Sunday morning.
“It was a song he requested, so yes. It’s not the first time. How did you know?”
“Sal told me. He said it was super hot.”
Brioney snapped her head up. “How was it hot?” She’d been uneasy, uncomfortable, forcing herself to meet his gaze. Had everyone else seen the tension between them?
“He said the way you were looking at each other made it clear who you were singing to, and what it was about. The whole place was watching.”
Great, just what she needed, all of Avalon in her business. And naturally, The Wharf had been packed that night.
And Blue had walked out.
Was he aware that people were talking about them? It was his own fault for asking her to sing that stupid song. What had he thought would happen?
Of course, Blue was a romantic, so maybe he’d thought she’d fling herself off the stage and into his arms? Didn’t he know she couldn’t let herself be swept away like that?
Because she’d let herself be swept away once, and had a daughter to show for it. She had to be practical now.
And Blue was not practical. He deserved a woman who let herself be swept off her feet.
But the idea of Blue looking at another woman the way he looked at her Friday night made her crazy. Lord, she was in trouble.
Chapter Three
Brioney looked down the dock, her hands fisted at her sides. Blue was on the deck of his boat, cleaning or something, shirtless, his tanned skin gleaming in the late afternoon sun. She stayed there for a long moment, taking him in and working up the courage to apologize. He’d been nothing but kind to her, and that kiss...She’d been up for days thinking about it.
She wasn’t sure how she was going to apologize, exactly, but she didn’t want to live her life without Blue in it. She hoped to keep him as a friend.
Courage gained, she started down the dock. Her first step vibrated along the wood, and he looked up. He straightened when he recognized her, and reached for a shirt draped over the rail. By the time she reached him, he’d pulled it on, that same colorless shirt from the other day when they’d all gone out on the water.
Huh. Disappointment washed through her and her steps faltered. Was he sending her a message?
“Hi,” she said, stopping on the dock and bracing one hand against the lamp post.
“Hi.” He squinted up at her, and she realized she was standing with her back to the sun, keeping him at a disadvantage. She moved to the port side of the boat so he wouldn’t have the sun directly in his face.
“Permission to come aboard?” she asked when he didn’t say anything else.
He stepped back in silent invitation, and she hopped onto the deck, feeling like she was intruding.
“I came to apologize. For the other night. For…what I said.”
He braced his hands behind him on the ladder and leaned back, arms flexing. “You shouldn’t apologize for telling the truth.”
“It wasn’t. I mean…” She shook her head. She should have planned this better. “I said it, and I believe it, to some extent.”
His mouth canted ironically.
“But you’re more than that,” she said. “You’re more important to me than that. And I don’t know how to deal with all the complications that go along with our friendship.”
“So you choose, what?”
She sagged against the rail. “I choose not to—not to walk away.” She gripped the rail tighter, savoring the heat from the sun that had absorbed into the chrome.
He took a step closer. “Meaning, what? You want to give this a shot?”
She wouldn’t release the rail. “If something happened, Blue, I don’t know—I don’t want to lose you from my life.”
This time his smile was more genuine as he moved closer. “And I don’t want another Dawson girl to break my heart. But I’m not convinced this is going to end.”
Confusion swamped her again, the scent of him tangling with her longing, her fear. “But what if we don’t both want the same thing?”
“Right now we do,” he said, and lowered his mouth to hers.
This time, she wound her arms around his shoulders, like she’d wanted to the other day. She rose on her toes to press against his chest, opened her mouth to deepen the kiss, and when his big hands closed around her back, she sighed. She felt him smile against her mouth, then he stroked his tongue along her bottom lip, dipped it inside, learning her, tasting her.
Suddenly holding on wasn’t enough. She speared her fingers through his thick hair, caressed his shoulders, the muscles of his back that she’d been admiring only minutes ago, stroked his arms before hooking around his shoulders again.
He lifted his head, just a few inches, and looked down at her. “So. Should we go on a date, then?”
She hesitated. “I want to keep this separate from Joy for a bit.”
His brow furrowed, then cleared, and he released her. “Ah.”
“Not for any reason you might think. I just, I need to protect her from any kind of expectations. You have to understand she’s my priority. I have never let her meet anyone I’ve dated.” Not that there had been many. She wasn’t a fan of being hurt, either.
“Do you think maybe you doomed them to failure, by thinking they weren’t going to last?”
“I had a timeline in mind. If we made it to that timeline, we’d tell Joy. None of them made it to the timeline.”
“And what was that point?”
“After we’d slept together for a month. If he still treated me well after that amount of time, then I figured he’d be okay for me to bring home.”
“How close did anyone get?”
She met his gaze. “I’ve only ever been with Cameron.”
“Seriously? Ever?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I know it’s pathetic, that I go back to him after what he did with me…”
“Not pathetic. Safe, maybe. You know what to expect, anyway. Maybe nothing good, but what to expect. You deserve more.”
“Maybe.” She’d never really let herself believe that.
“Let me show you. I want to take you out on a date. Can we do that, or are we keeping this a secret from everyone?”
She would have preferred that, but almost everyone had heard about what had happened Friday night. She didn’t really want Jessamy to hear about it this way, but one step at a time.
“We can go on a date.”
Avalon was more for tourists than dates. Of course there were restaurants, The Wharf, another nicer seafood restaurant by the beach, a so-so Italian restaurant on Main Street, a burger place and a few fast-food chains. Not much to do on a first date, especially for the islanders who had lived here their entire lives.
“So. Where?”
“My place.”
She drew herself up at that. “I told you those other guys never made it past second.”
“I’m not inviting you to my place to take you to bed,” he said, then winked. “But I’m not those other guys.”
*****
“This isn’t the way to your place,” Brioney said. She’d never actually been to his apartment, but she knew where it was, on the north end of the island, near the run-down motel. They were heading more toward the center of the island, where the dock was.
As the realization struck her, he pulled the tow truck into the parking lot of the dock. He parked and hop
ped out, his button-down shirt ruffling against his chest in the breeze, and walked around the front of the car. She opened the door before he got there, not thinking, and he frowned at her, taking the door out of her grasp and reaching for her hand.
She couldn’t deny the thrill that ran through her when her hand touched his hard, flat palm. He folded his warm fingers around hers and guided her from the car, and keeping her hand in his, led her down the dock.
She saw his boat before the others, because it was bedecked, literally, with fairy lights, from the pilot house to the rail, on both sides of the boat. She thought she could see a table set on the deck, and rose on her toes for a better look.
“Hold still, it’s a surprise,” he said, a teasing note in his voice.
“Are we eating on the boat?”
“We’re going to take it out, and yes, there’s food on the boat.” He took a step away so he was walking backward, and stretched a hand toward the clear sky. “Thankfully it’s a beautiful night, or all this planning would have gone to waste.”
Planning. He’d spent time planning this, because he liked her, cared for her.
He released her to hop onto the deck, then swung her down. “Can you untie us?” He nodded to the rope around the cleat on the stern of the boat. “I’ll guide us out.”
“We aren’t going to have to fish for our dinner, are we?”
He winked. “Would that be so bad?”
She opened her mouth, and he just grinned. “Nah, I picked up something from The Wharf. It’s in the basket under the table. There’s a bottle of wine in there, too.”
“I didn’t think you liked wine.”
He lifted a shoulder. “My mom’s taught me to like it, and it just seemed the thing to do. You know, a moonlit dinner, wine, you?”
She was glad it was dark enough that he couldn’t see her blush. She wondered if he went to so much effort on all of his first dates. She knew he had a number of them. On one hand, she wanted to be so special that he did this only for her. On the other hand, the idea terrified her. She didn’t want to be unique, because that meant he was serious. And if he was serious...there were just too many complications.
She untied the rope and sat on the bench by the rail as he guided the boat into the harbor and out onto open water.
She watched him in the pilot house, hair rippling in the breeze, hands steady on the wheel. He may not have a lot of drive, but he did have confidence in what he did. He may not make a lot of money, but he was good at his jobs, he was good with people. Jessamy had judged him too harshly, Brioney feared.
She didn’t know why he chose the spot he did to drop anchor, but he lowered the anchor, turned off the engine, and swung himself down the stairs to land on the deck beside her. The thud of his feet on the fiberglass was loud in the sudden silence, where the only sound was the waves and the wind.
“This good?” he asked.
“Sure.” She didn’t see anything particularly special about it.
He turned her, leaned in close and pointed toward the shoreline, where they could see the lights of The Wharf on the horizon. “Nice view.”
“Beautiful,” she breathed, again, wondering how many girls he’d brought here. The sea breeze washed over the deck, wrapping around them, carrying his scent to her as his hair brushed her cheek. She turned her head toward him, subconsciously, breathing him in. He turned his head, not moving away, and looked into her eyes, knowing, almost daring her to make the next move.
So she did. Away.
She pulled out one of the chairs at the table and sat, leaning forward. “What did you bring?”
The slant of his mouth called her a coward without saying a word as he sat across from her. If only he knew she didn’t have much resistance left.
“Nothing too fancy. Some salads, some fruit, sandwiches.” He reached for the basket under the table and began unloading as he spoke.
Everything was packaged in clear plastic containers, brightly colored in the light from the fairy lights and the electric candles in the middle of the table. She was surprised when he set a small container of her favorite dressing in front of her.
“How did you know?”
“No secrets in a small town. They told me all your favorites.”
She fidgeted as she thought about Blue asking her friends about her preferences.
“You said we weren’t keeping it under wraps.”
“No, I know. It just feels weird that my friends helped you plan our date.”
“I think they might be on my side.”
“There aren’t sides.” Unless Jessamy found out about it. Then there would be sides, and it wouldn’t be pretty.
“Sure there are. You—need convincing, let’s say, that this is a good idea. I know it is. And your friends, I think they know it is, too.”
“They don’t have a say-so.” She popped open the container and speared a bit of salad with her fork.
“What would make you happy?”
“Finishing school, making a living for myself and Joy. A good living, where I could take her on vacations, makes sure she has what her friends have.”
“What are you going to do when you finish school?”
“I’m working on a business degree. I’m hoping that will give me options.”
“But what do you want to do? What’s your heart’s desire?”
She couldn’t meet his gaze across the table. “Well, you know, I love singing.”
“So is that what you want? To be a singer? Like in Nashville or Hollywood or something?”
She kept her focus on her meal. She’d never spoken of this to anyone, not even Mercedes. “Before Joy, yes. It seemed like the most glamorous job in the world to me. I know it’s more work than it seems, I know it would take me away from my girl, but I love singing, and I love playing.”
“You’re good at it.”
She lifted a shoulder. She knew she was decent, but hearing him praise her, even though she knew, since he showed up every week, that he liked it, gave her a pleasure she didn’t want to name. “It’s enough that I get to sing at The Wharf. No matter what my job is when I get out of school, that can always be my outlet.”
“Still, it would be sad if you couldn’t get a day job you liked, though.”
“I don’t want to get my heart set on something and not be able to get it, you know?” She was an expert at shielding herself against disappointment. Like she said, business gave her the most options here in Avalon. Anything would make a better life for her and Joy than being a maid in the hotel.
“Do you think you’d leave Avalon?”
She didn’t want to. Her home was here. She’d grown up here. “I love the beach too much, but if I don’t find a better way to make my living, I may have to.”
“How much longer until you graduate?”
“I’ll graduate in May.”
“Not too far away.”
She shook her head. “I can’t let myself slack, even though, God, sometimes I want to.” Some days she wished she could be more like him, carefree, take time on the beach for fun, but she had her daughter to think of, to work for. Even if she didn’t have drive of her own, she’d have that to drive her. She wondered if Blue had someone else to care for, if he’d have more ambition. But then she remembered, he’d loved Jessamy and that hadn’t been enough.
“I remember going through the same thing when I was in school, the need to get focused. There was a point in my junior year where I was ready to walk away from school, you know, because I was ready to start making money, and my graduation seemed so far away. There was this job that would have essentially made me decent money but didn’t have much room for advancement. I interviewed and everything, but then I decided I should go ahead and graduate, since it was almost paid for.”
“And then you ended up not doing anything with your degree anyway.”
He leaned back in his chair. “What makes you say that?”
“Well, I mean, you have your boat and your rentals
and your tow truck, but none of that really needs a degree, does it?”
“My degree was my collateral with the bank to get me my loan for the boat.”
“How can a degree be collateral?”
“Not literally, but do you think they would have given me the loan if I’d just gone in and asked?”
“I didn’t think about it.”
“I had to have a business plan and all of that, so while it wasn’t exactly what I thought I’d be doing with my degree, it came in handy.”
“So what did you get a degree in, anyway?”
“Marine biology.”
“That seems like something you’d really enjoy. But you couldn’t get a job with it?”
“I was going to have to go for a doctorate, which would be a longer time before I made any money, and I wasn’t in love with school. It was just a mistake all the way around. I should have done like your sister said and gotten a more practical degree, environmental science or something.”
She shook her head. “It’s like she didn’t know you at all.”
He lifted a shoulder and turned his attention to his own salad. “She had her goals in mind.”
“Why didn’t you speak up for yourself, tell her what you wanted?”
“I did, but she convinced me this was the best way.”
“It’s not too late for you to go back. You’re not that much older than me, and I’m doing it.”
“A doctorate in marine biology is a lot of work, a lot of time and money. And I’m content doing what I’m doing now. I get to be on the water, meet people, I have free time now and again.”
“But you love the animals. You could be out on the ocean all the time.”
“I think it may be kind of like your vision of being a singer. Yeah, it sounds glamorous, traveling and being on the water, but I suspect there’s a lot more time on land than I’d like. Don’t worry about it. I don’t. I’m happy where I am.” He closed his salad container with a pop of plastic, half the salad still inside. “Ready for the next course?”
Summer on Main Street Page 46
