Ash closed her eyes and listened to her friend's footsteps disappear. Sleep with her downstairs neighbor? No way. Her head fell back onto the cushions, and she let them cradle her tired muscles. Despite her fatigue, thoughts of all kinds wound their way into her head. Colin. Callie. Her father. Eddie. Yummy, she thought before she could help herself. And I don’t usually fall for guys so fast.
She rested one arm against her forehead. Who was she kidding? She never fell, period. She took careful steps. She analyzed all the possibilities. She played her cards one at a time, over long, slow days of contemplation. She never jumped into anything.
But maybe Jen was right this time. Ash had changed her name and slipped on a new skin. She’d moved to a new town where not a soul knew her. Why shouldn’t she change a few other things? She pulled at her bottom lip with one finger. Maybe she should forget about the summer of chastity she’d promised herself. Maybe she should she lose herself in a different world for the next few months. She stared at the door, imagining Eddie a few steps away, unpacking boxes with muscles that flexed and strained and…
Oh God. What on earth would she tell him, if she did invite him up? She couldn’t confess who she really was. Ashton Kirk? As in Senator Kirk’s daughter? He’d look at her like she had two heads.
Rock music started up again, shaking the floor of her apartment a little before the volume lowered to a gentle throb. Smiling, she wondered about her new housemate. Something told Ash she wasn’t the only one with a story. Why had Eddie moved into the house? Like her, was he only killing time for the summer? Or had he moved to tiny, protected Lycian Street to escape something or someone?
And what, for God’s sake, had happened to him to leave such deep scars on an otherwise handsome face?
Chapter Three
Eddie finished pulling the sheets over his bed and flopped onto his back. He stared at the ceiling, where a few cracks spread above him and down the wall into the doorframe. Near the floor they widened and fractured the wood, causing the door to no longer shut tight. He studied the spaces just above the floor and imagined spiders shuttling in and out, making odd little homes inside the crevices of his apartment. Might be nice to disappear one day inside a wall, hang his head for a while until the blood-rush chased away faces from the past.
He turned to look through the wide window next to him. Far enough from his parents’ house, but a ten-minute drive from work, he’d snapped up this place the minute he saw it advertised in the Paradise Chronicle. Didn’t know he’d be sharing the house with another tenant, but hell, he didn’t mind. Not when the other tenant looked like Ashley Kirtland did. Ebony eyes, honey-colored waves of hair falling around her face, a cute little waist that curved down to the longest pair of legs he’d ever seen…damn. He wouldn’t mind looking at that body every morning over coffee, that was for sure. Ash seemed a little quieter than the women he usually dated, but she had a great smile and eyes you could drown in.
Eddie continued to stare out the window and wondered who else lived on the street. Only two blocks from the junior college on the hill, the homes rented mostly to college kids, he supposed. He guessed he’d have to cover his windows once fall rolled around, but right now he didn’t have any curtains or blinds. He turned over and buried his face into the single pillow he’d brought with him.
Yeah, Ash seemed cool. It might be nice to have a housemate he could hang out with. Then again, he wasn’t very good at just hanging out with women. Friendships with them always turned into relationships. He couldn’t help it. He loved women. Loved watching them walk. Loved listening to them laugh. Loved feeling their hands clutching his back on a summer night, fingernails leaving red lines of passion down his spine.
Eddie got up and headed into the kitchen, where he flipped on the light and ran the faucet as high as it would go. He stuck his head under the running water and slurped. It tasted good and felt even better running down the sides of his face. He shook his head. Droplets flew and dappled the walls.
Wandering back into the living room, he looked around. High-ceilinged, with windows that faced the street, the place gave him a feeling of open space, something he hadn’t had in a long time. He’d stayed at home too long, after the accident. At first he pretended his parents needed him around to get the bills in order, repair the back porch, take care of other things that had started to fall apart. But after almost three years, they didn’t need him hanging around anymore. At twenty-seven, it was time for Eddie to start making a place of his own.
He ran his fingers through his damp hair, then turned and punched the wall. “Damn!” But he wasn’t sure if he swore because of the pain radiating up his wrist or the grief of losing Cal that still caught him in the gut so hard he lost his breath.
Turning, he looked for a box to unpack. Anything to get his mind occupied with something else. He pushed aside one, pulled open another, and saw his brother’s face staring up at him. Eddie stopped breathing. Taken four or five years ago, the two of them were forever frozen in that silver picture frame, tossing a football around the back yard and laughing at their mom. She always snuck up on us and took our picture. We used to hate it. He ran one finger over the glass. Now I wish she’d taken a thousand more.
Eddie tucked the picture into the box, facedown, and shoved the flap back into place. Surrounded by pictures of the past was the last place he wanted to be right now. He headed for the shower instead, doing his best to scrub away the memories.
Better, he thought as the hot water turned cool after awhile. At least he wasn’t feeling so damned depressed anymore. He dropped his towel on the floor, dug through a suitcase for a change of clothes, and ran a comb through his damp hair. Then he darted upstairs and pounded a fist on his new housemate’s door. Ash was absolutely the kind of distraction he needed right now.
***
“Hello?” Eddie knocked a second time and still heard nothing. Maybe Jen and Ash had gone out after all. He turned to leave.
“Eddie?” The door cracked open, and Ash peeked out. A hesitant smile lit her face. “Hi. Come on in.”
“Thought maybe you guys were out.”
“Jen left,” she said. “She wanted to get back to the city before dark.”
“You eat yet?”
She shook her head. “I was just wondering what Paradise has in the way of take-out.”
“Well, there’s Primo’s Pizza down the block. Or Louie’s Sub Shop around the corner. They’re both close enough.” The curiosity on Ash’s face stopped him. “What?”
She smiled. “You live here.” It wasn’t a question, but a quiet discovery.
“Oh, yeah.” Eddie nodded. “My whole life. Thought I mentioned it before. I grew up on the other side of town.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Figured it was about time I moved out of my parents’ house.”
She looked at him a moment longer, but he couldn't read her thoughts. Judging? Wondering?
“Pizza,” she decided after a moment. She looked over her shoulder, in the direction of the kitchen. “You know, there’s a pretty cool rooftop out there. Want to get it to go, bring it back here?”
“Now you’re talking.” Eddie said, stomach growling.
“I don’t have anything in the fridge,” she apologized. “We should pick up a six-pack or something, too.”
“Pizza and beer? A woman after my own heart.”
Her cheeks reddened at his words, and Eddie grinned. He liked having that effect on women, making them at first uncomfortable around him and then by turns so comfortable he could open them up, peel back the layers, and turn their hearts inside out. He liked making women ache for him. He was good at it.
“You have a boyfriend?” he asked as he followed her down the stairs. He figured he might as well negotiate his options from the start.
She shook her head, and waves of hair moved across her shoulder blades. He wanted to touch them, wind them around his fingers. He bet they smelled like some kind of floral shampoo.
“No.” Her a
nswer was quiet in the stairwell. At the bottom she turned to look back at him, and he saw that the light had vanished from her eyes.
“Ah…mending a broken heart?” He backpedaled and changed his approach.
“Something like that.” As she opened the door, her shoulders sagged a little, and Eddie followed, wanting to reach out a hand and comfort her.
***
“Pepperoni or mushroom?” Eddie asked as he opened the boxes. Steam poured out and wound its way upward.
Standing in the middle of the kitchen, Ash pulled the tops off two beer bottles. “Mushroom, please.” She took a long swallow. “I’m a vegetarian.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I’m not.”
“You really don’t eat meat?”
“I don’t eat anything that used to have a face. It’s just...I don't know. It makes me feel bad.”
“How long?”
“Since college.” She paused and sent a look straight through him. “Does it bother you?”
“Nah. Just never knew anyone like that before.” Eddie separated the cheese as he pulled slices apart, two for each of them. “Napkins?”
Ash looked around. “I had some. I think Jen put them somewhere. Oh…on top of the fridge.” She stood on tiptoes and reached for the unopened package. “What else do we need?”
“Nothing but a rooftop and some good conversation.”
“Okay.” She pulled open the window. “Here goes.” She lifted one leg up and over the sill and hopped out. “The view’s great out here.”
He grabbed the rest of the six-pack, handed her the plates and followed. Wow. She was right. He walked to the railing that ran along the perimeter and surveyed the block from end to end. The trees laced together overhead, and he could smell the scent of flowers somewhere close by. Contentment settled over Eddie. He leaned against the side of the house and reached for the pizza.
Opposite him, a few feet away, Ash sat with her plate on her lap. Her shorts grazed the tops of her thighs, and through the thin skin of a gray T-shirt, Eddie could see small breasts punctuated with perfectly round nipples. He argued with the part of him that wanted to lose himself in the view and stopped looking. Not going to do it, not now. She just broke up with her boyfriend. Give her a break.
“So you and Jen went to school in the city?”
Ash nodded.
“College?”
“I was in law school. She just finished med school. We were both looking for a roommate a couple of years ago. Rest is history.”
“You’re kidding.”
She smiled. “Nope.”
He took a long pull on his beer. “Excuse me for asking, but what the hell are you doing in Paradise?” Shit, he felt about two feet tall next to someone who’d just finished becoming a lawyer. And that blonde – med school? Really? Can't ever tell what's inside someone just by looking, he reminded himself. You should know that better than anyone.
She gazed across the street. “I needed a change of scenery.”
He laughed before he could help himself. “Well, you sure got one here. We’re only a hundred miles from Boston, but it’s a different world, in case you haven’t noticed. Half the people in Paradise have never even been to Boston.”
Ash’s chin twitched, and she looked defensive. “Well, it seemed as good on the map as any other place. I just wanted to get away for awhile.”
Eddie finished his slice and reached for another. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great town. Just don’t see many city girls here, that’s all.” He paused. “So you going back in the fall? Got a job waiting for you?”
She shrugged a sort of yes. “Couple of my siblings are attorneys.”
“Ah. Runs in the family?”
“I guess.” Her voice dropped.
Eddie rested one wrist on his knee, dangling his empty bottle. “I gotta say, you don’t sound very excited about it.”
She sighed. “Ever since I was a little girl, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do. College, law school, work my way up to partner by the time I turn thirty, and then run for public office. Maybe end up in Congress.”
Eddie stared, his mouth around a slice of pizza but forgetting to chew. Who the hell was this woman?
Ash went on as if the expression on his face hadn’t changed in the least. “Turns out, that was more what my parents wanted me to do.” She scratched her arm. “Truth is, I don’t know what I want. I have a cousin who’s running for office in the fall and can’t wait for the fight.” She grimaced. “But some things happened in the last couple of months that made me think twice about that. I don’t think I’m cut out for a life in politics.”
Eddie watched indecision trek across her forehead and down to the corners of her mouth. Law school grad or not, his housemate looked as uncertain about the future as half the people he knew. “You know, you don’t have to decide your whole life tonight. Or even this summer.”
“No? Tell that to my father.”
“Ah, pressure from the parents.” Eddie nodded.
“What about you? Did you always want to fix cars?”
“Oh, yeah.” He cracked open another beer. “I was born for it. I’ve always known it. Used to drive my mom crazy, taking apart the vacuum cleaner, the lawn mower…” He chuckled and let the memories wash over him, good ones this time. “The minute I turned sixteen and bought my own beat-up Chevy, I knew what I wanted to do. It’s like breathing to me.” He leaned back. “Maybe I’ll open my own shop someday, hire a couple of guys to work for me. That’s all I’ll need, that and a house with a garage big enough for three or four of my own.”
“You really know what you want, huh?”
“Guess I’m lucky.”
Ash didn’t speak for a while after that, and Eddie wondered if he’d offended her somehow. He hoped not. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a real conversation with a woman. He realized with surprise that he liked just talking to her, liked listening to her pause over her thoughts and choose her words instead of letting them spill from her mouth without meaning like so many other women he knew. Sitting up here near the trees, talking with someone who wasn’t trying to impress him, felt good. For once, he wasn’t thinking about how soon he could kiss her, or what would happen next. The now was all that mattered, talking to her and watching the color of her eyes change as she listened to him. He liked it.
Eddie let his eyes drift shut, basking in the leftover heat that still hung above them. Ever since The Accident he felt chilled, even in the warmth of summer. The Accident. He always thought of it spelled with capital letters, T.A., like B.C., which he guessed was sort of fitting, since it had split his life in two. Every memory he had was catalogued either Before The Accident or After The Accident.
Life without regret: Before The Accident. Staying out all night and going to work with a hangover the size of Colorado: Before The Accident. But after? Sleepless nights, aches that never ceased, and an enormous gulf between him and his parents. Even three years later, Eddie’s ankles, and the scars on his face sometimes, throbbed in the cold weather. And the nightmares, of course, had stayed with him, once he’d finally been able to sleep at all.
He shook his head and swallowed deeply. Though he tried to will it away, a bright green light began to shine against the back of his eyelids, and his heart started its familiar racing. Not here. Not now. For one day, I want to forget. He swallowed again, but the racing continued, and shattered glass roared in his ears. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He counted to ten and tried to ignore the voices that screamed above the glass. No words, just voices lost in pain. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Please stop. Please.
After a long minute, his heart slowed. The green light faded into the recesses of memory, and the agony of sound disappeared. His pulse returned to almost normal. Eddie dropped his hand back into his lap and opened his eyes.
Ash was staring at him.
“You okay?” Her voice, soft and low, crept across the porch. She didn’t press, did
n’t ask him what was wrong, like people always did. Of course, she didn’t know about the accident, and he figured she was about the only person in Paradise who didn’t. Still, she didn’t get nosy and pry. She just sat and studied him, concerned.
Eddie nodded and tried to find a smile. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Yet a strange feeling of déjà vu raised the hairs on the back of his neck. His housemate, this person he’d just met, reminded him of someone he’d known years ago. He couldn’t remember who. But he suddenly felt better than he had in a long, long time.
Chapter Four
Ash tucked the Paradise Chronicle under one arm and locked her door. She skipped down the steps and then paused for a minute in front of Eddie’s apartment. Yesterday she’d passed it a few times as she carried the rest of her things upstairs, and it had only watched, a solid brown door with nothing but quiet behind it. Today, though, it studied Ash as she stood there. It hid possibilities, ones she wanted to know more about. Maybe I should say hello. Say thanks for last night. She raised her hand to knock.
He’s different somehow. She thought Eddie West would be like most other good-looking guys she'd known, interested in himself and not much else. A memory of fraternity brothers tossing around a football and grilling on the quad during her undergrad days flashed into her mind. Eddie looked like a Sigma Chi, strong and masculine, the kind of guy who dated a different girl each week and won over his professors’ hearts with a wink and a smile. Sigma Chi brothers didn’t date girls like Ashton; they asked them for class notes or directions to the library. Then on Friday nights, they shared their drinks and their beds with blushing sorority girls or dark-eyed, mysterious graduate assistants who drank port and read Eliot.
Eddie had mentioned that he’d gone to tech school for a couple of years, opting to work on cars full-time as soon as he turned twenty. Okay, so he wasn’t really like a Sigma Chi, not formally educated anyway. Still, there was something about him, something about the way he watched her with thoughtful eyes, that made Ash suspect he had more intellect and common sense than half the people she’d met at Harvard.
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