“What about you?” he asked, filling the silence.
She dropped her gaze, same as always. Ash never wanted to talk about herself. She just wanted to finesse other people into telling all their secrets. Just like a lawyer.
“Serious boyfriend? This one you just broke up with?”
She shrugged. “I thought so.” She picked at a hole in the arm of the loveseat. “Guess I was wrong.” Sadness filled the spaces in her face that before had held light.
“His loss,” Eddie said.
“That’s what I keep trying to tell myself.”
“You decide how long you’re staying in town?” He tried to convince himself it was a casual question, that it didn’t matter to him one way or the other who lived upstairs from him. Truth was, though, Eddie couldn’t imagine anyone but Ash tripping down those stairs in the morning, letting herself in after dark, tossing a toy for the kitten to play with. He couldn’t picture anyone else on the other side of this door, anyone else stretching out on the rooftop, anyone else arguing about whose turn it was to drag the trashcan to the corner.
She’d gotten under his skin.
“I don’t know,” she said after a minute. “I only sublet through the summer, so when September rolls around…”
She didn’t finish, and Eddie wasn’t sure he wanted her to.
“Well, you’ll figure it out,” he said and left it at that.
She laid her head against the cushions and closed her eyes. “I hope so,” she said, but the words were so quiet he wondered if she’d meant to speak them aloud at all.
Chapter Thirteen
“Marty had to go outta town,” J.T. informed Ash as soon as she walked into the restaurant that evening.
“Oh. Okay.” She wasn’t sure what that had to do with her.
“He said you’re supposed to be in charge ‘til he gets back.” J.T. stuck a toothpick into his mouth and wiped down the empty bar.
Ash stopped. “What are you talking about?”
The bartender flipped a glass and slid it into place on the shelf. “Here.” He fished in his front pocket for a slip of paper. Ash recognized Marty’s scrawl on the back of the wrinkled receipt as J.T. handed it over.
Ash, please take over tonight. You know where the keys are. Money goes in the safe. Be back tomorrow. M.
She sagged onto a stool. “Why me?”
The bartender shrugged. “Why not?”
Ash dropped her head onto one hand and stared at the note. Take over? Well, how hard could it be, really, to empty out the two registers at the end of the night and lock up the money? She knew the rest of the routine: how to wipe down and secure everything in the kitchen, where to put the trash out back, how to set the alarm when she left. Marty had shown her all that weeks ago. Bobby V., the kitchen’s head cook, had worked at the place longer than Marty had run it. And J.T. was in charge of the bar.
“Okay.” She headed for the kitchen. She’d give it a try. Tuesdays never drew a big crowd anyway. And it didn’t look as though she had much choice. How much could she screw up in a single night? “You all set out here?”
J.T. winked when she glanced back at him. “All set, boss.”
She gave him a dirty look and decided not to answer.
***
“You did good,” the bartender said a few hours later. They sat across from each other and stared at an infomercial scrolling across the television screen.
“Yeah? Thanks.” Exhausted but secretly pleased with herself, Ash reviewed the night. Only a handful of tables, but that wasn’t unusual for a weekday, and J.T. had done a decent business at the bar. She’d even managed to handle Betty June, the widow who complained about everything from the temperature of her steak to the number of ice cubes in her drink. By the end of her meal, thanks to a couple of questions about her cats and a compliment of her wide-brimmed hat, the woman had practically beamed at Ash as she left.
“You should be in charge more often.” J.T. stacked glasses. “You’re damn better lookin’ than Marty, anyway.”
“Maybe he’ll give me a raise.”
The bartender laughed. “Keep dreaming, honey.”
Ash laughed too. “I guess you’re right.” Still, she wouldn’t mind the extra responsibility. It had been nice, moving about the dining room, checking on customers, answering the phone, and organizing the kitchen in a way she didn’t dare when the manager hung over her shoulder. It made her feel like she wasn’t completely wasting her summer.
Part-time night manager at Blues and Booze? Not a bad way to spend the next few weeks. Maybe she’d talk to Marty about it after all.
***
The following night, Ash lay in the bathtub and ran a washcloth across her stomach. Bare toenails peeked at her from beneath the bubbles. She balanced her head on the edge of the tub and let her hair float on the water around her chin. Closing her eyes, she breathed in the waves of raspberry from the candles that flickered on the windowsill. Etta James sang to her from the living room. She hummed to the music and let herself float until the water began to cool.
She hadn’t seen Eddie at all today, but she guessed he’d probably agreed to a double shift at the shop, since he was taking tomorrow off for their party. She couldn’t wait to tell him about the manager position. She’d asked Marty about it earlier, and he’d nearly fallen over in agreement. The stingy guy had even agreed to pay her fifty cents more an hour. Ash smiled and wondered what her sisters, with their six-figure salaries, would say if they knew. She sank lower in the tub and decided she didn’t care. For the first time in her life, she’d chosen her own path, one that curved away from the Kirk family one. So what if it only lasted for a month or so? She still liked the way it felt.
The ring of her cell phone woke her. One wet hand emerged from the water and lifted it from the bathmat. Jen, probably. Ash didn’t bother to look at the screen. She’s probably checking to see what time she and Lucas should get here tomorrow. Or maybe it was Eddie, remembering one more thing he wanted to bring for food. Ash smiled.
“Hello?”
For a moment she heard nothing but silence on the other end of the line. Then a too-familiar voice spoke her name. Her real name. “Ashton?”
Colin. Oh my God. Her eyes flew open, and she sat up in the tub, shaking. Ash stared at the phone as if it had suddenly grown a mouth all its own. For a moment, she thought about hanging up. She didn’t owe Colin anything. He hadn’t called her in almost two months. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of hearing her voice.
But she couldn’t hang up. Instead she sat there, dripping, hand frozen to the phone.
“Ash, it’s me.”
As if she didn’t know. As if she could forget the voice that had broken her heart just a few months earlier.
“I know who it is.” She pulled the plug from the drain and reached for a towel, shivering as cool air brushed her damp skin.
“How’ve you been?” He sounded nervous, and she was glad.
What’s with the small talk? “I’m fine.”
“That’s good.” He cleared his throat. “How are your sisters?”
You should know, considering you talked to Jess a couple of weeks ago. “They’re fine too, I guess.” She paused. “What do you want?”
“I…” Colin hesitated. “I miss you.”
Ash dropped the towel and headed into her bedroom. Like hell you do. He wanted something. Or he needed something. He couldn’t have gotten tired of Callie already. She stuck her arms through the sleeves of her robe and sank onto the bed. Rubbing her temple with one hand, she tried to squelch the other thought that insisted on rearing its head.
I miss you too.
“What am I supposed to say to that? You made it pretty clear two months ago that you wanted time. Space. Callie Halliway.” She spoke the name without breaking and was proud of herself. “Besides, you were so embarrassed by everything that happened with my father that you couldn’t wait to get away from it all. Remember?”
“I ma
de a mistake. Please. It’s over with me and Callie. It never was much of anything to begin with.”
“That’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“Jess told me you took a summer place somewhere up north. Tell me where it is. I’ll come up. Tomorrow. Tonight. Or you come home. Please.” His words spilled out, anxious and awkward. “I want us to try again. I was wrong…I’m sorry.”
Ash closed her eyes. Don’t say that. She couldn’t bear to hear the remorse in Colin’s voice. She couldn’t afford to give in to his pleas, not after working so hard to get over him. And yet she couldn’t resist them either, despite her best efforts. Sighing, she let the weight of memory roll across her heart. In a flash, it all came back: Colin’s serious expression above her in bed, his hands in her hair, his cheek twitching at the beginning of a smile. His arm around her waist as they crossed campus. His wink as they took notes through class, side by side. His name. His family. God, she’d fallen so hard, so fast, without a thought of what might come after the breathlessness.
After the letter, she’d begun the grim task of shuttering up her heart, piling brick upon brick to seal out the hurt. Now here he was, calling and pretending an apology and a little attention could make everything all right? Brittle tears made their way up her throat.
“Ashton?”
“I can’t do this.”
“Please—”
“I’m not telling you where I am. And I’m not coming home. I need to figure things out.” She picked at a thread in her quilt.
“I miss you,” he said again, and the words tore at her heart.
She pictured Colin’s eyes, liquid and pleading. Her resolve weakened. Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe she should give him a second chance.
“Will you at least think about it?”
She took a deep breath. No, she wanted to say. I won’t think about it. It’s over, and I’m moving on without you. But the pull of his voice and the memories it held were too strong.
“Maybe.” The thread yanked free from the quilt and left a tiny hole in the pink fabric. She twisted it around her finger and wondered how much of a mistake she was making. “Maybe I’ll think about it.”
“I really want to work things out.”
She tightened her hand around the phone. “I have to go.” She hung up before he could say anything else.
Stunned, unable to form any kind of coherent thought, Ash pulled down the window shade and sat in silence. Colin…after all this time. She rolled onto her stomach and pressed her face into the pillow. Tears welled up, and this time, she let them come. Maybe on another day, she would have known better, would have turned up the music on the stereo, would have opened all the windows to let evening light flood in. Maybe on another day, she would have turned her back on that piece of her life that still bled when she poked at the scar.
But it wasn’t another day. It wasn’t far enough from the past. Ash was a Kirk daughter, a Harvard graduate, and she’d had every intention of marrying Colin Parker. She’d planned on opening a joint law practice with him, having his children, moving into his family’s estate with the wide porch and thriving flowerbeds. Until two months ago.
He wants me back? He wants to try again?
A few weeks ago, Ash would have leapt into his arms. But now? Now, she didn’t know. To her surprise, a few weeks in Paradise had started to change things. She stared into the blackness behind her eyelids and pursed her lips until Colin’s face disappeared, and she could no longer hear his voice ringing against the hollow behind her cheekbones. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. For the moment, he was gone. Now she just had to figure out how to make him stay there.
Chapter Fourteen
“Lucas, it’s perfect.” Ash wrapped her arms around Jen’s younger brother. “Thank you so, so much for coming up and helping out.”
“Aw, didn’t do much,” he said gruffly. The six-foot-seven giant turned three shades of red as Ash released him.
“Yeah, you did.” The porch still smelled of fresh paint, and all the loose boards had been fixed, along with the leaking toilet and the stuck window in Ash’s bedroom, which he definitely hadn’t had to do.
Lucas ran one hand over a head full of curly dark hair. “It’s a nice apartment.” He leaned against the railing and stared at the street. Always solemn, he seemed quieter than ever today. Broken hearts tended to do that, Ash supposed.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “Hey, you’re gonna stay for the party, right?” She was almost positive Eddie had some single friends she could steer in Lucas’s direction.
“Naw, I gotta get back.” He pulled a baseball cap from his back pocket and stuck it on lopsidedly. “Mom an’ Dad are havin’ a barbeque later. Told ‘em I’d try to make it.” He grinned. “It’s always hit and miss with Dad and the grill. I’d rather see him keep his eyebrows tonight.”
She laughed. Such a good guy. She still couldn’t believe his girlfriend had cheated on him. In another life, Ash might have considered letting Jen set her up with Lucas, the way she’d been trying to since about the second week the two of them had lived together. Ridiculously tall, seriously built, and sweet down to the core – what woman in her right mind would cheat on someone like that?
Ash straightened the tables in both corners of the porch roof as Lucas planted a kiss goodbye on the top of her head. Guess you never really knew the thoughts in people’s heads. Secrets hid, lies grew, and sometimes the very people you thought you knew best were the ones burying their knives in your back. Or their hearts in someone else’s.
She shook away the thought. Not tonight. No sadness, and no regret. She glanced into the street below. A few cars already lined the curb in front of the house, and the sun hadn’t even begun to set. Apparently, thanks to Eddie, half of Paradise had been invited to their housewarming party.
A few minutes later, he poked his head through the window, looking out from the kitchen. “Ash? Everything good out here?”
“I think so.” She and Jen had spent most of the afternoon decorating. Now red, white, and blue lights twisted themselves around the porch railing. Flags perched in buckets of ice, while picnic benches and tables bowed under piles of food and soft drinks.
“Jen’s brother’s not staying?”
She shook her head.
Eddie rested both arms on the sill. “Seems like a nice guy.”
“He is.”
“You and he ever…” He didn’t finish the question, but she read the look on his face.
“Me and Lucas? God, no. He’s like – I mean, he’s Jen’s little brother.”
“So?”
“So nothing.” She propped one hand on a hip. “Are you jealous?”
“Nope. Just curious.”
She grabbed a handful of ice from the nearest cooler and tossed it in his direction. “Whatever.”
“I’m gonna run out and get the beer,” he said. He picked up a few slivers of ice, already melting, and palmed them. “Like it wet, huh?”
Ash turned away before the blush spread across her face. “You wish.” She wrestled with the cooler, trying to drag it to the other end of the porch, and ended up dumping half the ice onto her feet.
Behind her, Eddie laughed as he retreated from the window. “As I was saying.”
“Shut up,” she said, but she started to laugh herself.
Jen looked over from the far corner of the porch, where she was arranging napkins and silverware. “So when are the two of you going to stop playing this game?”
Ash gave up on the cooler and left it where it was. “What game?”
“Please. That guy has been up here five times today. He’s called you twice. Why don’t you just sleep with him and get it over with?” Jen dropped the last stack of napkins into place.
“God, Jen, everything does not always have to be about sex.”
Jen smirked. “Okay, fine. Don’t sleep with him. But why don’t you at least go out with him? See a movie or something. Spend a little time playing doctor after work
. He’s seriously gorgeous. And single, right? What the hell are you waiting for?”
Ash tried not to smile, tried not to reveal that she’d let some of the same thoughts drift across her mind the last few weeks. “It’s not like that with me and Eddie. We’re just friends. Housemates. He’s not really my type, anyway,” she lied.
“Right.” Jen’s voice dripped with sarcasm. “Good looking, good job, monster biceps, funny—not your type at all.”
“Anyway, I think he’s involved with someone,” Ash added.
“Who?”
“I don’t know. But he’s always got a girl down there.” Except when he’s up here with me, watching a ball game or having a beer or…Ash shook her head. Eddie West was Paradise’s playboy. Didn’t matter that he happened to be her housemate as well. He loved women, in any variety and any package, and the more the better, from what she’d observed. Just about everyone in town seemed to know it, and she’d be better off remembering that.
“Come on,” she said, ignoring Jen’s gaze. “Let’s start making the appetizers.”
***
By nine o’clock, nearly everyone had arrived, and most of the guests had moved out onto the roof. The party was in full swing, with classic rock pouring out of the speakers and laughter carrying up to the treetops. Ash looked around at the smiling faces: some regulars from the restaurant, a few of Eddie’s high school friends, and a couple of neighbors from around the corner.
Someone bumped her from behind, a burly man with a huge red beard. “Oops! Sorry, sweetheart. Great party, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Ash smiled at the crowd, so different from the people she’d grown up with, the snobby elite who threw cocktail parties and talked politics inside their gated communities. The conversations around her buzzed with baseball predictions and comments on the weather, news about the latest divorce and the shopping center scheduled to break ground next month. People cursed and laughed and wound their arms around each other; they tossed back shots of tequila and played cards in the corner.
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