by J. E. Sawyer
“The kissing, touching, hell even the talking. Well, mostly the talking. Not that I haven’t ever talked to anyone before. I have. Just not like this. Especially about us, whatever this is between us.” She rambles.
“Whoa slow down. Gem it’s ok,” I try to calm her. I don’t like the anxiety written across her face, and I definitely don’t want to be the one to put it there.
“Help me, I don’t know what to do,” she pleads and my resolve crumbles. That’s when I know. She trusts me, whether she’s aware of it or not. Maybe not fully, but she trusts me. It makes me feel like puffing my chest and pounding it with my fists.
I scoot a little closer and take her hands in mine. Her hands are so tiny, I could about fit both hers in one of mine. She watches me still as a statue, trying to anticipate what is to come.
“Gemma,” I start my voice soft, cautious. I take her left hand and place it over my heart. I let her feel the staccato rhythm beating wilding. “Do you feel that? That’s what you do to me.” Her eyes widen a little farther. I place her hand back in mine and rub my thumb over her wrist where I feel her heart in tune with my own. “You stole my breath as soon as you and Garret walked through the door. Now, I can only breathe whenever you are near. This between us, I know you feel it too. Is it scary? Hell yes. Is it going to be easy sailing? Probably not. Is it going to be worth it? Fuck…. baby, I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” Before I give her a chance to respond I lean in and take her mouth showing her how serious I am, how I feel about her, what it could be even though it’s just a taste. It takes her a minute to respond, but when she does I know she feels the same way I do. “Whatever you need baby, if you need to take it slow then that’s what we’ll do. But, I’m not ignoring this…us. It’s not going to go away, and I don’t want it to. I want it…you…us…” I trail off taking her mouth again. She winds her fingers in my hair pulling me closer, like she can’t get enough. I know the feeling. “If you can find the courage to trust me, especially with something as precious as your heart, then I can too. I might end up with mine shredded in the process, but I owe it to the possibility of ‘us’.”
My words fuel an already ignited fire. She moves to her knees on the couch and then over to straddle my lap. I like this Gemma, the one that follows her instincts and doesn’t think about it so much. I grasp her hips in an attempt to keep my hands from wondering. I am a man of much self-control, but the little noises she’s making in the back of her throat are nearly my undoing. My fingers graze the soft skin of her legs, then I move my hands to her ribs where I will them to stay. As we break apart, I’m stunned when her arms work their way around my neck and she lay her head on my shoulder for a hug, an embrace. I wrap my arms the rest of the way around her and pull her to me. Right now, there is no other place I’d rather be.
Gemma
Holy crap, what am I doing? I start to hope off Weston like my ass has been set on fire.
“I’m so sorry, I…” I begin to apologize but Weston prevents my escape and cuts my words short.
“Never apologize for showing me how you feel baby. You got that? If you want to show me affection, then show me. If you are angry, don’t hide let me know it. If you’re excited, let me be excited with you, for you. Never be ashamed, and as far as what we’re doing now. I sure as hell don’t have any complaints,” he says with a blinding smile that’s enough to turn any woman to mush.
I return his smile and we hug again. I’ve never been much of a hugger, but with his arms wrapped around me I feel safe, precious, and I’m not going to say loved but something along those lines. This that’s blooming between us is more than lust or infatuation. It walks a fine line with words that would be spoken too soon. Weston and Garret can both read me like a book, like they are both in-tuned to channel Gemma. They know what I need before I even know I need it. With each moment that passes I look a little more forward to the moments that are to come. Not days, weeks, hours or years, but moments. Our lives are made up of moments, some we cherish, some we rather forget. Our age is a timeline, but it’s the moments in time we will remember. No one is going to be happy or sad every second of every day. It’s those moments in between that help define us. What will my monument look like? I think it’s vastly improving.
Me and Weston bid our good nights. I return to my room to lie down. It’s still kind of early but I have a lot to process. I’m doing my best not to over think it, but I admit it’s hard. I can’t deny that it feels natural being around Weston almost like a reflex. It happens before you think about. I drift off with dreams of stolen kisses, light touches, emerald eyes and the feeling of home.
The next few days that follow are much the same. True to his word Weston never rushes me or pushes. For that I am grateful. We learn little things about each other, like his favorite color is black and he prefers soft rock, his favorite food is lobster. He works out every day; he has amazing discipline, and plenty of patience. With me he will need it. Everything is going better than I could have ever expected, until it’s not.
It’s Thursday and I rode to work with Garret this morning. He really has been great. He doesn’t hover, bull doze his way in, or make me feel like a naïve child. Yet, he lets me know he’s there. All of which I appreciate. Between the move, the job, the new family...and Weston, I could really use a few minutes to myself. After work, instead of riding back home with Garret I decide to go for a walk. I head towards the town’s center that is encompassed by the enchanting park. The grass is so thick and green. There’s flowers are varying rich and vibrant colors. The trees are huge and shade the picnic tables and walkway with their canopy of leaves. It’s almost magical. The sun glistens across the top of the pond where the geese glide along the water. I take to a bench off to the side of the pond just under the trees. I lie down with my feet in the bench, knees bent and my arm thrown across my eyes. Sometimes we all just need a few minutes. That’s exactly what I need, a few minutes. I can’t say I’m not pleased with how things are going, but they are going a little fast. I haven’t had time to breathe. What if I’m making a mistake? Sure, I’m glad I met Garret, but could I have learned more about myself if I would have stayed? It kind of feels like I’m not living on my own, and well I guess I’m not, but I was back in North Carolina. It might have been a struggle but it was my struggle. One of the reasons I agreed to come was with the hope of “finding myself” as cliché as that might be. But, when I think about it, this whole ordeal is kind of the opposite. I wonder if my house has rented out yet. My job, have they found a replacement? They took a chance on me and I dropped them like a hot piece of coal.
Then there’s Weston. If I hadn’t come I never would have met Weston. He’s been great, though a little intimidating, and a lot intense.
I let myself mull over everything, taking it in. I really haven’t had much of a chance to do so. Maybe that is Garret’s intention, so I don’t over think thing. I’m just scared. Scared of not really finding out who Gemma really is., scared of opening up and taking a chance on getting hurt. Isn’t everyone though? It’s always just been me and Grams. Now it seems like there are people everywhere and I’m not sure how I feel about it. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s just overwhelming. I’m not too good with people.
Something touches my knee. I take my arm off my eyes and squint into the sun.
“Everything ok?” I recognize the voice of the silhouette. Garret
Dropping my feet from the bench and sitting up, “um yeah, everything is fine,” I reply unconvincingly.
“Gemma, it’s ok to tell me if it’s not. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk to me. You will not get judgement from me.” He runs his hand along my hair, “what’s the matter baby girl?” I can hear the concern in his voice, but do I tell him? He said he wouldn’t judge me, but I don’t want to hurt his feeling either. “Listen kid, just know I am here for you…always.” He hands me a small box that I didn’t notice he had earlier. It’s black and roughly the size of a r
ubix cube, but it’s the type jewelry usually comes in. I gasp my eyes shooting to his, “go ahead and take it, I thought of you when I saw it the other day.” I take the box and open it carefully. Inside is the most gorgeous rose gold watch I’ve ever seen. Its large face shines yet the strap is feminine and delicate.
“I love it! But, really you didn’t have to,” I tell him as I continue to take it out of the box.
“Really, I wanted to. It never needs charging, it’s waterproof and can sync with your phone to get messages and such.” He tells me, I think he’s about as excited about it as I am.
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll wear it every day,” I proclaim excitedly as I put it on.
“It’s a little big, we’ll get it sized down when we get home,” he says as he examines it.
Movement out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I see a flash of red just beyond the pond. It’s gone so quickly I wonder if I imagined it. I have that creepy feeling like someone is watching though. I turn my head and continue to scan the area.
“What is it?” Garret asks picking up that something has caught my attention.
“I’m not sure. I just thought I saw something.” I tell him a little unsure as I rub my arms. The creepiness gave me goosebumps. Garret follows my gaze and does a sweep of his own, then looks back to me. When he does, I relax a little. He doesn’t look at me questioning or like I’m crazy.
With an arm around my shoulders he asks, “are you ready to head home, or did you want to hang out for a little while? I’m not…”
“Yeah, I’m ready,” I interrupt. I am most definitely ready to get out of here. I still feel eyes on me, as we turn to leave the back of my neck burns hot with the heat of someone’s gaze.
“Dad, do you care to stop by the store? I’d like to make dinner tonight if that’s ok. Everyone else has been so great about cooking; I’d like to pitch in.” I ask before we reach Black Beauty.
“Sure, thing sweetie,” he says with a smile.
Garret
Me and Gemma, make our way back from the store. I insist on carrying the groceries in.
“Do you need any help with supper?” I ask
“No, I’m good. Go ahead and relax, thanks though,” Gemma replies with a smile. She stands with her shoulders a little straighter and she bears a small confident smile. This must be more of her element, taking care of people. She took care of her grandmother for so long, why didn’t I realize it sooner? Granted, I don’t want her to feel like she’s expected to do anything. It’s just unsaid organization around here. We all help cook and clean taking turns without bickering about it. No one even needs to ask, we all pitch in where needed and it just works.
“Alright then, I’ll leave you to it. Just holler if you need anything,” I tell her with a kiss on top of the head before I head upstairs.
I top the stairs just as Chandler is coming out of his room and Jake’s door is open. Chandler gives me a nod as he makes a quick exit to head downstairs.
“Where are you going in such a hurry?” I ask
“Need to get supper ready,” he replies with his back to me.
“No need, Gemma is taking dinner duty today,” I inform him. He pauses and turns back toward me.
Jake must hear our conversation, he pops his head out of his open doorway “Really, that’s awesome,” he says.
“We can do it though, it feels like she just got here,” Chandler quips with a furrow of his brow. He’s right, it does feel like she just arrived. I don’t want her to feel like anything is pushed off on her.
“She volunteered,” I tell them both. “It’s fine, she seemed excited about it.”
Still seeming a little unsure, “Ok then, I’m going to go outside for a little bit and check the area. I’ve been a little on edge today, but not sure why.” He says as he continues down the stair. I leave it be for now. It’s a little strange after the way Gemma acted in the park. Jake retreats back to his room and I hear the faint sound of his television.
I go on to my room to change clothes and clean up a bit. Fresh clothes that aren’t heavy with grease and grime make a world of difference. I don’t think it will be too long until dinner, so I head to Weston’s room and knock.
“Come in,” Weston hollers from the other side of the door. I walk in and it looks like he just got finished cleaning up himself. “How did it go, Doc?” He asks.
“It’s done, she doesn’t suspect anything.” I tell him. “She really liked it and said she’s going to wear it every day.”
Nodding and rubbing a towel across his wet hair Weston replies, “That’s good, real good.”
I think he feels the same way about it as I do. I wasn’t lying when I told her I thought of her when I saw that watch, I really did. It appears beautiful and delicate just like her yet looks can be deceiving. Both are built stronger than they appear.
“I hate to invade her privacy, but I feel better knowing where she is if need be,” he says as he clenches his jaw.
“I don’t like the thoughts of doing it either, but sometimes it’s necessary for those we love.” I tell him and leave that thought there. Let it fester. I know he loves her. He might not realize it yet, but he does. Instead of going back to my room, I head to the living room and sink ink in the soft leather couch resting my head back and shut my eyes. I hope the watch is just a precaution and we never have to use it. I’m not sure how she will take it if we ever have to tell her. I slip away for a few minutes peace.
Gemma
I am finished with supper. I’m a little nervous and a little excited. I’ve only ever cooked for me and Grams. I really hope they like it. I made one of my favorite meals. After I’ve placed out all the food in the serving dishes and set the table, I hear a faint snoring in the family room. I walk to the couch and try not to laugh. Garret has his long legs sprawled out in front of him, his head laid back against the back of the couch, his mouth open like he’s trying to catch flies. One arm is laid across his chest and the other is flopped over on the cushion next to him. Poor Daddy must be worn out.
I squat down next to him and lay my hand on his forearm, “Dad?” I shake his arm a little, trying not to startle him too much. “Dad? Supper is ready,” I tell him softly, just as the front door opens and Chandler walks in.
He looks from me to Garret and back again, “YO DOC FOOD IS READY!” He yells and I cringe. He chuckles, “You wouldn’t have woken him up otherwise. He’s a heavy sleeper when he’s worn out.”
Garret’s head pops up with wide eyes and looks around. He seems to relax a little when he realizes it’s just us, so I try again.
“Hey Daddy, supper is ready,” I tell him while still squatted next to him. He looks at me and smiles, a real genuine heart- warming smile and nods. Chandler watches the interaction between us and smiles too.
“Let me go wash my hands and I’ll be back” he says as he heads to the downstairs bathroom. I nod and head upstairs.
Jake’s door is already open. I knock softly on the facing. He’s sprawled out on his couch with the remote on his tummy watching tv.
He looks up to me, “supper’s ready,” I tell him.
A big smile spreads across his face, “Sweet!” He says and immediately hops up. I turn across the hall to Jason’s bedroom and knock on his closed door. I begin to wonder if he’s home or asleep it’s so quiet.
Suddenly, the door opens and Jason’s six-foot five frame is standing there without a shirt on looking me expectantly. “Um, supper is ready,” I tell him hesitantly.
As I turn to leave Jason grabs my arm halting me, “Ok thanks, I’ll be right down.” He says with a soft smile. Sometimes I’m still a little uncertain around him. I just nod and head to last door on the left. My feet feel heavy and my palms begin to sweat. I feel my heart beat a little faster.
I knock on Weston’s door, “Come in,” he yells. I open the door and I forgot what I was going to say when my eyes land on him. He’s standing there in a pair of low hung cargo sorts, and sleeveless
shirt and barefoot. I’ve never seen him look so relaxed. His hair is still a little damp from a shower.
He looks at me with a knowing smile. I feel my face heat from being caught ogling him. I’m still at loss for words as he makes his way across the room.
He places his hand on my hips, “Hi,” is all he says and I melt.
“Hi,” I reply on a sigh. He just chuckles. It’s enough to clear my mind fog and recall why I came here in the first place. “Supper is ready,” I tell him.
He moves his hands from my waist to either side of my head and places a kiss on my forehead, “Great, because this guy is starving.” The green of his eyes seems to darken and I have the feeling he’s not just talking about food. Feeling a little brave I grab his hand and pull him down the hallway.
We arrive at the table hand in hand. I catalogue the looks from everyone. A small smile from Chandler, as he pushes his glasses up on his nose. Garret leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest, he doesn’t seem surprised though. I think it’s mostly for show. I have to stifle a giggle when I see the hair sticking up on his head from his nap. Yep, much less intimidating with bedhead. Jake gives us a wide smile seeming happy. Then there’s Jason. He glances back and forth form our hand to each of us. He shifts his weight in his seat and gives us a small nod. At least I don’t sense any hostility this time. We go to our respective seats and everyone begins to dig in.
“Wow Gemma, this is something else.” Jake says as he places some parmesan crusted tilapia on his plate, followed by corn on the cob, sautéed asparagus, and garlic rolls. I relax and everyone fills their plates and digs in. I receive thank yous and praises all around.
I can feel the heat of Weston’s gaze every so often. I return each gaze with a smile. I feel something hit my leg so I readjust my feet. Then my feet are encased by two long legs and I look up to Weston who is eating like nothing is happening. We finish our dinner with our legs tangled, our bellies full and my heart full and content.
