“I don’t mean that. Ohhh,” she moaned as he pushed a second finger inside her and started pumping them in and out. He paused and flicked her clit with his thumb. Her hips rose, almost of their own volition.
“Keep still, Jenna.”
“I’m trying.”
He sighed. “You are sadly lacking in discipline.”
She stared up at him, confused. “I don’t understand any of this, Curt. You rejected me a few months ago, remember?”
“Of course I do. And I’ve regretted it ever since.”
He had? Then why had he waited so long to come for her? Why wait until now?
“I told myself that keeping away from you was the right thing to do. That you deserved better. I still think that.”
“That’s a crock. It’s just an excuse to make you feel better.”
His eyes flared open.
“If you’d wanted a relationship with me you wouldn’t have waited this long just because you thought I deserved better. Better than what? A man who puts me first? My protection? My needs? My wants? A man who’s loyal and strong and kind. A man who’d always be there for me, no matter what shit goes down. Is that the sort of man I don’t deserve?”
“You’re putting me up on a pedestal I don’t deserve. I’m not a good man.”
“I remember your spiel from last time, Curt. Are you telling me you’d betray me? That you’d put me at risk? That you’d abandon me when things got rough?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then what? Because if this is just sex then you don’t have to come up with some excuse about how I deserve better, just tell me now. I’m not the person I was a year ago, hell, a few months ago. I’m harder. I can take care of myself now. I no longer look at the world through rose-colored glasses. I’m not that stupid kid who thought she could actually make a difference. If you’re foolish and naïve and think everyone is good deep down, then you get chewed up and spit out. I don’t need you to protect me from the world. Not anymore.”
“That’s not you.”
“It is now.”
He shook his head. “You might think it is, but I’ve seen how you are. I’m sorry I hurt you, Jenna. I was wrong. I was blind, and stupid. I thought I could forget about you, let you move on with your life and find a nice man to settle down with, have kids, and live a normal life.”
“A normal life? What’s that?”
“You know what I mean. I have needs I thought would scare you.”
“So, once you found out I was a member of Saxon’s club that changed things for you? I suddenly became someone you could see yourself being with?”
“No, if you remember, things had already gotten hot and heavy before I found that out. But it certainly makes things easier. Jenna, you’re sweet and kind. Your first thought is always of other people. You put everyone before yourself—even me, which is going to stop, by the way.” He gave her a firm look even though she had no idea what he was talking about.
“When I was in jail, instead of going to the hospital, you came to check on me. Your first thought when you saw that injured woman was her, not your own safety. You paid for that other lady’s stuff in the bakery when she couldn’t remember her pin number. You’re always thinking about others. And if you’re not watched closely, you’ll burn yourself out taking care of everyone else instead of yourself.”
She didn’t know what to say to that.
“This isn’t just sex, Jenna. It’s not about me wanting to fuck you, although, believe me, I do. This is a relationship. You and I belong to each other, understand? You’re mine.”
She couldn’t believe this was happening. Was it for real?
“And in case you don’t realize it, I’m not asking, Jenna. I’m not going to take the risk of you saying no. From now on, you’re my woman, my lover, my submissive.”
He kissed his way down her neck, and she closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of his lips against her skin.
“It goes both ways,” she managed to say.
He leaned up. “Of course it does. I’m yours as much as you’re mine. But hear me now, Jenna. I’m a possessive bastard. And a bossy one. I won’t be easy to deal with.”
She snorted. “Like I didn’t know that already.”
“You’re probably going to regret this,” he told her.
“Oh, shut up and kiss me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Do you really think you get to give orders?”
She grinned. “Well, it’s not fair if you’re always in charge. Don’t you want to swap once in a while? Let me take command?”
“No,” he told her darkly. “Now, make sure those hands stay above your head. I’m going to feast on my woman.”
There was a knock on the bedroom door as he started kissing his way down her stomach.
“Go away,” Curt snarled.
She tightened up with a blush. God, now Travis would know Curt had slept with her. Not that he probably hadn’t guessed. She didn’t know when he’d gotten home, but he would have seen that Curt hadn’t been sleeping on the couch.
“Sorry to interrupt,” Travis said through the door, sounding amused. “But we’ve got incoming.”
“They can piss off.”
“Well, I can surely tell them that, but feds tend to be tenacious bastards.”
“Shit,” Curt said, then pulled back to stare down at her.
“They’re here to speak to me.” She felt a little ill. She’d thought she’d have more time but she realized now she’d procrastinated too long.
It was time to go back. Not home. Dallas was no longer home. Haven was, but she needed to face reality.
The doorbell rang.
“Go tell them we’ll be there soon,” Curt snarled. He looked down at Jenna. “Ready for this?”
“No.” How did one ready themselves for this?
“I’ll be with you the whole time. You don’t have to be scared, all right?”
She nodded. She could do this. She didn’t really have much choice.
“All right.”
***
She decided she didn’t like Paul Hendricks very much. The older FBI agent was arrogant and demanding. And he kept asking her the same questions over and over until she wanted to scream.
Finally, she snapped. “Have you got a memory problem, Agent Hendricks?”
He looked surprised, but his partner, Agent Mike Marshal, just looked resigned, and a little bored. “What? No.”
“Well, I’m beginning to think you must, since you keep asking me the same questions over and over. Maybe you need to get one of those recording devices so you can tape our interview. Your phone will even do it. Would you like me to show you how?”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “This is no laughing matter, young lady.”
She hadn’t been called a young lady in a while. Nancy used to call her that when she got into trouble. She certainly felt like she’d done something wrong from the way Hendricks was treating her.
“I can assure you, I’m not laughing. I also think I’m done answering your questions. I don’t know anything about my dad’s alleged arms trading. I never heard him mention anything to do with shipping weapons to the Middle East or Africa. I never overheard any conversations with Doug about it. And I never heard him mention The Brit. Now, if that’s all, I’ve got things to do.”
“We may have more questions.”
“You know where to find us,” Curt said as he stood.
“Actually,” Jenna said, rising as well and leaving the agents no recourse but to stand. Travis lounged over by the door but he straightened as they stood. “I think we’ll be going back to Dallas today. I need to see my mother and make sure she’s not traumatized after being interrogated and harassed by the two of you.”
“This wasn’t an interrogation, Ms. Jasons. I can assure you that if it were, you would certainly know it. And we didn’t harass her. She was too drugged up to be of much use.”
They moved towards the door and left without sayi
ng goodbye.
“Bye-bye,” Jenna called through the doorway, waving, then slammed the door behind them. “Asses.”
“That’s what everyone says when they meet Hendricks,” Travis said with amusement. “You handled them well.”
She didn’t feel like she had. She felt shaken and ill.
Curt turned her towards him, brushing the hair back from her face. “Look at me.”
She glanced up at him.
“You sure you’re ready to go back to Dallas?”
“I’ll be fine,” she said bravely.
“If we’re leaving, I need to go pack my stuff,” Travis said hastily and left.
“Jenna, I know you haven’t been in a relationship with a Dom before and we haven’t spoken about what we expect from each other but as my sub, there’s going to be rules for you to follow.”
Funny, she’d never have guessed.
“BDSM almost became a necessity for me after Amelia and the baby died. I found myself in a downward spiral. I was drinking heavily, getting into fights, I was furious at the world. I guess part of me didn’t want to keep going.”
Sorrow filled her at his obvious pain. “You really loved her, huh?”
A strange look crossed over his face, and he sighed. “There are some things I probably need to tell you about my relationship with Amelia, but not right now. But I will tell you I don’t know where I would have ended up if Gray hadn’t found me. I knew him from my time in the navy. He helped me get sober, got me back on track, and gave me a purpose. And he introduced me to BDSM. I needed it. Needed that feeling of being in control. Even though it appeared I’d pulled myself together, inside I still felt like a mess and I didn’t really trust myself.”
“What do you mean? You didn’t trust yourself not to hurt someone?”
“Yeah., I still had a lot of anger over what happened with Amelia. I was worried I’d take that out on a sub. Being at the Twisted Thorn gave me a sense of security. There were monitors and rules, and I could lay everything out first so there were no misunderstandings. I found that dominating my partner was what I needed, it made me feel more centered and in control.”
“You could never harm an innocent, Curt.”
He just stared at her. “You remember me as the man you used to know. That boy who thought the world was his to conquer. I’m a different person now, Jenna. You sure you want this with me? Because there’s no going back. I’m possessive, what I have, stays mine. I’m pig-headed. I’ll probably piss you off several times a day with my demands and stubbornness. I’ll try to listen to you. I’ll try to give you what you need. And I’ll always protect you.”
“Well, at least you know most of your faults. Although you forgot a couple. You’re over-protective and you always think you’re right.”
He snorted. “Yeah, those too.”
“Curt, there are things about you I don’t know. Just like there’re parts of me you don’t know. We’ve both changed. But at your core is the man I’ve always admired. The man I’ve always wanted. And if you get too demanding or stubborn I’ll just have to learn ways to handle you.”
“Handle me, huh?” he drawled, pulling her against him. “We’ll just see about that.” He kissed her, hot and hard.
When he allowed her to pull back, she was breathing heavily. “I joined Saxon’s because I wanted to learn about BDSM. I wanted to experience it. Cady had explained some parts of it, and I was intrigued. But I never played with those other Doms because they weren’t you. It’s always been you.”
He cupped her face between his hands. “I’ll try to make certain you don’t regret it.” He kissed her lightly again. “First lesson as my sub, don’t ever lie to me, understand?” There was a deep note of command in his voice, and she nodded.
“So, when I ask you how you feel about something, you answer me honestly. You don’t brush me off by telling me you’re fine.”
She knew what he was talking about and she glanced away, feeling guilty.
“Look at me.”
She stared up into his eyes. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to see my parents. I know that makes me a terrible daughter—”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t. It just makes you human.”
“But I know I have to return. My mother needs me, and I need to talk to my dad if I can. I need to understand.”
“Then we’ll go back. And know that I’m here for you. Whatever you need, understand? You’ve gifted me your submission, and I’m going to take care of that gift and you.”
Those were just about the sweetest words she’d ever heard.
***
Paul Hendricks slammed his fist down on the steering wheel as he drove out of the hellhole town Jenna Jasons had decided to hide in. “She has to know something.”
“I don’t think she does,” Marshall said mildly. “There’s no reason to assume she does.”
“What about that incident in Sudan? That had to have something to do with The Brit.” He knew capturing The Brit would sky-rocket his career. He was determined to get to the top and since he was now past forty, he had to work quickly to get there. Arresting David Jasons had been his first big break. Only the bastard wasn’t talking. But, what if The Brit thought he was? He smiled.
“What are you thinking?” Marshall asked suspiciously.
“What do you think The Brit would do if he thought Jasons was spilling his guts?”
“Have him killed.”
“Not if he couldn’t get to him. What would stop Jasons from talking? What could he threaten Jasons with to keep him quiet?”
“I don’t like where this is going.”
Marshall was a wimp. But he knew how to keep his mouth shut.
“He’d come after Jasons’s family. We let it be known that Jasons is talking, and my guess is The Brit will come after the wife or daughter. Probably the daughter since the wife is holed up in her sister’s house.”
“You’re talking about putting an innocent woman in danger in an attempt to catch this guy?” Marshall stared at him in disbelief.
Hendricks waved his hand in the air. “And how many innocent people has this guy killed? How many more will he murder?” Not that Hendricks really cared. All he wanted was what this capture would do for him. “Besides, I’ll have eyes on the daughter. She’ll be perfectly safe. She’s going to lead us straight to him.”
“Yeah? You going to tell the ATF agents about this?”
“Oh, I think we’ll keep this our little secret. This is going to put us on the map, Marshall. Stick with me, I’m going places.”
Chapter Fifteen
She looked around Curt’s apartment, feeling lost. They’d packed up without much drama. She’d called Doc, as well as Jake and Melody, to let them know she was leaving for a few days. Then she’d thrown a few things in a bag, and, along with Daisy, they’d driven to Dallas. She’d insisted on bringing her car. She didn’t know why, exactly. She just felt better having it. As though she needed a means of escape.
It was now mid-afternoon. She could use the lateness of the day as an excuse not to visit her mother, but she knew it wasn’t really a good one.
Travis had followed them to Dallas before heading off to stay with Lacey and Gray. He was going to come with them to the court house tomorrow for her dad’s bail hearing. She’d told him it wasn’t necessary, but Travis had just smiled and shrugged, saying he had nothing better to do. She knew his reason for wanting The Brit was personal, but she didn’t think he was going to get any leads from sticking close to her and she was starting to think he’d realized that as well. He certainly hadn’t pushed to stay at Curt’s place. Mind you, Curt telling him to go away had probably played a part in that. She really had to work on his bluntness.
“You ready to go?”
“No,” she replied honestly. “But I have to. I need to see her before tomorrow.”
“You don’t need to go to court, you know,” he told her as they made their way, with Daisy in tow, down to the garage beneath
Curt’s building. It was well-secured. She noticed the cameras in the corridor then in the garage as they entered. Funny, she’d never looked for those things before. How her life had changed.
Daisy hopped into the back as though she’d done it all her life.
Curt opened her door and waited for her to climb in before moving around to the driver’s side of his truck. Her car was parked in his guest parking space.
She clasped her hands tightly in her lap. She could already feel a tension headache brewing.
“Easy, baby,” Curt told her. He reached over and squeezed her hands. “I can feel how stressed you are from here.”
“Kind of hard not to be when dealing with my mother. I’ll apologize for her now. In fact, I’ll understand if you don’t want to come inside.” She hadn’t thought about how this would be for him. “I know you haven’t seen Aunt Mary and Uncle Justin since Amelia died.”
And she was dying to know what he’d meant when he’d said he had something to explain about his marriage.
His jaw tightened as he stared out at the road. “They blame me for her death.”
“I know.” She sighed. “They’re hurting and they want someone to blame. Guess we’re both scapegoats for people’s anger and hurt, huh? They don’t really mean it.”
“Oh, I think they do.” He turned into the driveway of her aunt and uncle’s place. Their house wasn’t as large as Jenna’s parents’ place or in such a wealthy neighborhood, but it was still big by most people’s standards. And it was private, surrounded by a large yard and tall fence.
She undid her belt.
“Wait for me to come around and get you,” Curt told her fiercely. She waited until he opened her door.
“Does opening my door for me have something to do with guarding me?” she asked curiously.
He leaned in and brushed a kiss over her ear. “A little. But it also has everything to do with you being mine to take care of. In every way. Remember, it’s not all whips and chains. You take care of everyone else, you need someone to look at for you. That someone is me.” A shiver ran through her at his words. She opened the back door and gave Daisy a pat. “Stay here, girl.”
To Save Sir (Doms of Decadence Book 7) Page 18
