She could have been seriously harmed. The thought of her being hurt, of losing her…he took in a deep breath. He needed to be in charge right now. Needed that control. To reassure himself she was all right. She was everything to him. He knew it seemed like he was overreacting and, yeah, maybe he was. But he couldn’t stand the idea of her being harmed. He took hold of her hand and drew her further into the apartment before stopping and taking a step back.
“Strip,” he ordered her.
She studied him, and he didn’t know how he’d react if she rejected him right now. But a small smile crossed her lips, and she started to pull off her clothes.
Thank you, God.
Her hands trembled slightly, but she tried to hide that from Curt. He was already on edge. He didn’t need to see how much what happened had spooked her. It was just stupid eggs.
She’d faced far worse. She wasn’t sure why it had upset her so much.
Maybe because it happened just outside her house. Maybe because for that moment, she’d been utterly terrified that man was going to kill her. And Curt too.
If anything happened to Curt because of her . . . She took in a deep breath.
“Jenna?”
She looked over at Curt and realized she’d only gotten as far as stripping off her T-shirt.
“We don’t have to do this,” he told her.
Only, they did. He needed it, that much was obvious. And she did too. She looked over at the window. It was early evening but not yet dark, and only someone with binoculars would be able to see them, but still.
“Come.” He turned and walked into his bedroom, not once looking back, knowing she wouldn’t disobey.
When she reached the bedroom, he’d already pulled the blinds and was dimming the lights. He pointed at Daisy, who sat on the other side of the door. “Sorry, dog, you’re on your own for a bit.” He closed the door then turned to her, pointing to a spot in front of the bed. He sat down and stared at her. “Continue.”
Jeez, would it hurt him to give her a word of encouragement? She was unused to this, after all. But as she pulled her clothes off, she saw the way his gaze heated, how his hands clenched into fists. Her nakedness affected him. He found her attractive.
Her insecurity lessened. He wanted her.
Even if he wasn’t the best communicator, she could tell a lot from his body language. Maybe his reaction today was more than just from her being in danger. Maybe it had deeper roots. He’d lost Amelia. Was he scared of losing her too?
That revelation surprised her. But he didn’t care for her as deeply as he had Amelia, right?
“Turn around. I want to see all of you,” he said gruffly.
She spun slowly until she faced him once again.
“Very nice. You are so beautiful.”
She blushed. “I’m short and chubby.”
He lowered his eyebrows, giving her a stern look. “Here is another rule. Never disparage yourself. This body is perfect. You are perfect.” He stood and removed his clothes, shaking his head as she reached for him. Instead he walked behind her, slapping her ass. “Speak badly about yourself and you’re going to end up with a hot, sore ass. No moving without permission, Jenna. Put your hands on your head.”
She bit her lip against an objection. She could tell he needed control right now. He ran his hand down her side then over one buttock, cupping it then giving it a sharp slap. She gasped and dropped her hands, and he delivered a few more smacks until she realized what he wanted and raised her hands once more to her head.
“Good girl.”
Those words sent shocks of heat straight to her clit.
He squeezed her butt, and she squealed. “I can tell you’re going to spend a lot of time with a hot butt. Such a naughty girl.”
“No, I’m not.”
More hard smacks.
“Ouch. Ouch. Stop!”
“You don’t get to say stop, baby. The only thing that stops everything is your safeword.”
She swallowed heavily. Damn why did the thought of giving him all the control turn her on so much?
“I don’t have one.”
“Red. Your safeword is red. That stops everything.”
She shivered as he ran a finger down the crack of her ass. “Spread your legs and bend over. I wish to inspect what is mine.”
Oh, holy hell. Face blushing furiously, she bent over. He pushed a finger against her puckered entrance, and she took a deep breath as just that touch made her clit ache. “I think I’ll plug this asshole today.”
Plug? Oh, God.
“Something small, don’t worry. For now, anyway. Stay where you are.”
He stepped away. She heard a rustling noise then something being squirted, and then a firm, wet finger pressed against her back entrance. “Breathe in. Then out, slowly.”
As she breathed out, he pressed his finger inside her.
Shit. It was a stretch, and there was a slight burn, but the pleasure was what really blew her away. It shouldn’t feel as good as it did. A new set of nerves were waking up, filling her with undeniable bliss.
“Good girl. Nice and relaxed for me.” He moved his finger in and out before adding a second. Then he paused, and she gasped for breath. “Now, what were we talking about before? Oh, yes, how naughty you are.”
“What?” Did he seriously want to have this conversation now?
“What is your number one rule?”
Huh? Oh, God, was this some sort of test? “I can’t think.”
“You can. Or you’ll find yourself getting a spanking with a plug inside your asshole. That’s a very different experience.”
That thought both terrified and aroused her.
“No lying,” she said hastily, glad her brain had kicked into a gear. “But I haven’t lied to you.”
“But you’re keeping your true feelings from me. Trying to pretend you’re all right, when I can tell the meeting with your mother upset you. Not to mention what happened earlier at your parents’ place. That had to have terrified you, but you’re acting as though it was nothing.”
“That wasn’t me lying to you.” It was her trying to help him. She’d seen how deeply upset he’d been and she’d thought one of them needed to keep calm. “Getting upset doesn’t help.” Especially when it came to her mother.
“But speaking to your Dom can. That’s what I’m here for, baby. It’s not all about sex and spankings. It’s much more. It’s me being there for you. For anything.”
“And what about me being there for you?” Damn, she wished she could see his face. Kind of hard to do, bent over with her ass in the air. This had to be the weirdest way to have a conversation.
“You are always there for me, Jenna. Same way you are for everyone else. Your parents, your friends, little old ladies. Now it’s your turn to let someone be there for you. Me.” He removed his fingers and she groaned in protest. But then something hard pressed against her asshole.
“Breathe in. Out now.”
As she slowly let out her breath, he pushed the plug deep inside her. Oh, the burn was intense, and she nearly said her safeword, it was verging on too much. But once the plug was inside her, and she could breathe more normally, she knew she could stand it. And as he moved his hand down to her pussy, running a finger up and down her slick folds, she guessed she could more than stand it. She might even like it.
He circled her clit. “As my sub, I expect you to lean on me, come to me, tell me when something worries or scares you. If something upsets you, I want to know. If you’re in pain, you better fucking tell me. And if you’re ever in danger, I’m your next call after the police. Not that you will be, because I intend to keep you very, very safe. You’re everything to me.” He smacked a hand down on her ass at the same time as he flicked his finger over her clit, and she groaned at the contrast of pleasure and pain. She clenched down around the plug, and it added another layer.
She was already completely turned on, and he’d barely done anything.
“Straighten
.”
He helped her, holding her steady, and she raised her hands up to her head like before. He nodded with satisfaction, and a small thrill went through her.
“You look so sexy. You are precious to me. Nothing will happen to you.”
“Like what happened to Amelia?” she asked gently.
Curt took a step back. He saw a flash of hurt in Jenna’s eyes and forced himself to take a deep breath in, letting it out slowly—his exact instructions to her just a few seconds ago.
He didn’t want to talk about Amelia. Not here, not now, while Jenna was naked in his bedroom, with her face flushed, her pussy wet, and looking so submissive and sexy it was all he could do not to bend her over the bed and take her.
But the way she watched him, with that mix of trepidation and sorrow, he knew he had to tell her the full truth. Looking away, he clenched his jaw at the memories, something he didn’t like to think about much. Jenna shifted slightly, and he cursed himself for forgetting about her arms.
“Lower your arms and come here, baby.” He sat and patted his lap.
Her eyes widened with surprise as she dropped her arms. Then she bit at her lip. “I ruined things, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”
Nope. He wasn’t having that. Standing, he grasped hold of her chin, tilted her face up and kissed her. Hard. With all the heat he had building inside him.
“You didn’t ruin a thing,” he told her. “This needs to be said and it ain’t gonna be pretty. But after, if you still want me, I’m going to bend you over this bed and fuck you until we both forget how to breathe.”
Not the prettiest of declarations but it was the God damn truth. She gave him a surprised look. “Why wouldn’t I want you?”
“Like I said, it ain’t pretty.”
She grimaced. “You forget I knew Amelia. I knew all her faults, even though my aunt and uncle might think she was a saint and you’re the devil, I know that isn’t the case. And I know you didn’t kill Amelia.”
“I didn’t kill her but I did drive her out that night. I knew she was upset and I let her get in that car. With my baby inside her.”
He clenched his hands into fists, barely noting the look of sorrow on Jenna’s face. She sat beside him gingerly, taking his hand in hers. Sweet, little subbie, always caring for other people. He bet it wasn’t easy sitting with that plug in her ass, either, but she didn’t make a word of complaint.
“You sure you want to hear this?”
“Yes. You loved her?”
“In the beginning, yes. Or I thought I did. I was young. She was beautiful, and I thought she was everything I could want in a woman. Graceful and delicate, like something out of a movie or a picture.”
Jenna winced at that description, graceful and delicate she was not. But she’d been compared to Amelia her whole life. She was used to it.
“Took a while for me to figure out those things were all superficial. The trappings might be pretty, but that didn’t matter if the inside was poisonous.”
Harsh words.
“I know she was your cousin, Jenna. If you don’t want to hear this—”
“When I was thirteen, I developed breasts,” she interrupted him. He frowned, looking puzzled. “They’re quite big.” She looked down at her generous bosom, feeling a little embarrassed by her nudity when they were having such a heavy conversation. And she hadn’t forgotten that plug in her ass. Be pretty damn hard to forget it. “Amelia told me I could make big money as a prostitute if only I wasn’t so fat. Then she told me I’d better get a better bra as they’d be down round my waist like Great-Grandma Jean by the time I turned twenty.”
She’d been horrified by that and had spent years wishing she was flat-chested.
“Bitch,” he spat out then cupped her breast. “You know they’re beautiful, right? Everything a man could hope for. And you are not fat.”
She’d spent a long time coming to terms with her body, trying to be happy with it, but it didn’t hurt to hear his compliments.
“What happened, Curt?”
“Amelia wasn’t happy being the wife of a Navy Seal. She didn’t like how often I went away. She seemed to have some ideal about what her life would be. Unfortunately, reality was a bitter disappointment. She was a master manipulator. Early in our marriage, before I learned what she was truly like, she had me so tied up in knots trying to please her that I almost fucked up a mission.”
She winced, knowing how that would have upset him.
“Nothing ever pleased her. Even when I tried to do what she wanted. I grew tired of the complaints. About where we lived, how we never had any money, and how she couldn’t buy the things she wanted without going to her daddy, which I’d forbidden her to do.”
“She listened to you?”
He snorted. “She didn’t. She liked to involve other people in our lives, but I didn’t realize how much she told other people about our private life until I attended one of those god-awful dinner parties at her parents. Every fight, every imagined slight she’d tell her friends, her parents, probably her damn hairdresser as well.”
Was that part of the reason he didn’t like the idea of living in a small town? She had to admit that gossip was rife in Haven, but there were limits to what people revealed about their private lives.
“Took me a while to figure out that the clothes she was wearing weren’t cheap knockoffs as she’d told me. The lies didn’t stop there, though. I could’ve dealt with a few lies about money. But . . .” He looked down at his clenched hands. She covered his hand with hers, and he grabbed onto it with his other, holding on tightly.
“She was cheating on me. For months, I think. The thing was, I had decided to leave the navy when I found out she was pregnant. I’d just returned home from a mission and I was going to tell her my decision when I found them together. In our bed.”
“Oh, that bitch!”
He startled then grinned slightly. “Yeah, that’s what I said. Along with a few other things. Got rid of him and told her to get out. Told her it was over. She cried, asked me how I could kick out the mother of her baby. At that stage I wasn’t even sure it was mine. But she told me she’d get a DNA test done that would prove it was. I told her she was still leaving. That if the child was mine, I’d take care of it, but, right then, I didn’t want to see her face. I heard her on the phone to her mother as she packed some things, telling her all sorts of lies. Can’t blame them for believing her, she sounded hysterical. You know, I’m not even sure why she married me in the first place.”
“Her friends thought it was so cool she was married to a Navy Seal,” she told him gently, hurting for him and furious at her selfish cousin. “It was a status thing.”
He nodded. “Figures. I shouldn’t have driven her out that night. She was upset. I should have insisted she stay while I left. Then maybe . . . maybe they wouldn’t have died.”
“Oh, Curt.” She hugged him tightly.
He turned to look at her. “My feelings for Amelia were just a young man’s lust. My feelings for you are much deeper. If anything happened to you . . .”
She knew then that she loved him. Not a child’s love or an infatuation. She loved him deeply. And she had a feeling he felt the same. God, it was going to hurt so much if he didn’t feel the same way, but she had to tell him how she felt.
“I love you, Curt. I always have.”
Pleasure filled his face. “I love you too, Jenna.”
Thank you, God. That knot inside her unraveled as elation filled her. He loved her. “Nothing is going to happen to me.”
His gaze turned fierce. “No, it won’t. I’ll see to that.”
He kissed her, and the sorrow was soon flushed away by deep lust. He cupped her breast, pinching her nipple lightly. She gasped, pulling back. She glanced down at his body, itching to explore him. She’d never taken a man into her mouth before, had never seen the appeal, but with Curt everything was different.
“Curt, please, can I?” She pointed at his cock, unable to say it.
>
He raised both eyebrows. “What do you call me?”
Her nipples hardened further at his hard tone. “Sir, may I?”
“May you what?”
Crap. He was going to make her say it. “May I suck your cock?”
He grinned. “You may.”
She knelt in front of him, and he parted his legs as she laid kisses on them. She cupped his balls gently, delicately.
“You can be firmer than that, sweetheart,” he told her.
Glancing up uncertainly, she bit her lip. “Will you tell me what to do?”
His eyes flared. “You’ve never done this before?”
She shook her head, blushing slightly. How many twenty-seven-year-olds hadn’t given a blow job for God’s sake.
He smiled, and this time it reached his eyes. “Aren’t you full of surprises? First of all, there’s little you can do I won’t like, so long as you don’t use your teeth or grab hold of my balls too hard. Take hold of the base of my cock with your other hand and take the head into your mouth.”
Oh, fuck, he’d died and gone to heaven. Her mouth was a little clumsy, her hold on him uncertain, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt so turned on by a blow job in his life. Her mouth was warm and wet and those little noises she was making were almost his undoing.
“That’s it, darlin’, now take my balls in your other hand and squeeze them lightly.”
He shut his eyes. Fuck! Had anything ever felt so good. She carefully caressed his balls while running her hand up and down his dick.
And unless he wanted to come in her mouth, he knew he needed to pull her back. He grasped her chin.
“Easy, baby, let me go.”
She drew away, frowning. “Did I do something wrong?”
“God, no, that was too good.”
“Then why stop?”
“Because I’m not as young as I once was, and it takes me a while to recover.”
She tipped her head to one side, looking sweetly confused.
“I want to be inside you when I come, baby. Now, come here.” He drew her up onto his lap so she straddled him, her heat against his dick. Was he trying to torture himself tonight?
To Save Sir (Doms of Decadence Book 7) Page 20
