She tried to sit. Frowning, he gently pushed her back. “Lie down. What do you think you’re doing?”
“I want to sit up. Curt, please.”
“I’ll get some pillows.” He grabbed some spare pillows from the cupboard and propped her up.
“Curt, when I said home I meant your apartment in Dallas.”
He sighed. “You’re miserable in Dallas.”
“I’m not miserable…” she trailed off at his firm look.
“We’re going to have a long talk about holding things back from me. I know you miss Haven. It’s why you haven’t done anything about your house there or your job. You should have told me, Jenna.”
The disappointment in his voice made her feel miserable.
“I didn’t say anything because I figured I’d get past it. They say it takes six months to get used to a new place.”
He raised an eyebrow. “So after six months you’d have said something?”
“Exactly. A lot has happened and I guess I just thought I needed some time. As long as I’m with you, it shouldn’t matter where I live.”
“And shouldn’t the same apply to me?” he asked.
“What do you mean?”
“As long as I’m with you, Jenna. I don’t care where I live.”
“But you hate Haven. You didn’t like the people, or the lack of privacy. You prefer the city.”
He snorted. “I also want the woman I love to be happy. I think I can put up with a few nosy busybodies. And when I saw how everyone turned up to help look for you, I started to see the positive side of small town living. Amelia used to include everyone in our private business. It drove me insane to know that everybody else knew what was happening in our relationship, sometimes before I did.”
“I’d never do that.”
“I know, baby.”
“I can live in the city.”
“And I can live in Haven. You have a job you love, people who care about you, a place you belong. They’ll just have to accept me as well. And I’ll get used to the nosy bastards. Might have to punch a few more noses though.”
She laughed.
He kissed her gently. “I love you, baby. But don’t you ever scare me like that again, got it? No more trouble.”
“Can’t promise that, it does seem to like to follow me around.”
“Yeah, well from now on, it has to go through me first.”
***
As he crept his way up through the forest towards the cabin hidden back from the road, he heard the gunshot. His heart raced. Fuck, no. He moved faster, nearly blowing his cover.
“Travis, stand back. Wait.” Jake’s voice in his ear barely penetrated the haze of anger. He hadn’t come this far only to lose this guy.
He kicked the door in and entered, barely aware of the voices now swearing in his ear.
“No!” He stormed forward, part of him aware he should stop and wait, search the cabin first. But he knew no one else was here. He saw the body on the ground, part of the head blown off, and the gun that lay inches from the man’s hand.
“Bastard shot himself.” Hunter came up behind him. “Damn. Didn’t see that coming.”
Travis stared down at the body, feeling numb. This was the man he’d searched for years for, and he’d taken his life just like that. He felt…devastated.
“You okay, man?” Gray smacked his back.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Just need some fresh air.” He left the cabin and sat on the steps outside. He’d wanted revenge on that bastard. Revenge for what he’d done to Carys. For murdering the only woman Travis had ever loved. And now that revenge had been ripped from his hands. Fuck.
Epilogue
“Jenna? You’re awfully quiet. Everything okay?”
She had to stop her automatic reaction, which was to say she was fine. It would’ve been a lie. She was working on talking to Curt about her feelings rather than dismissing them as unimportant.
They’d been back in Haven for a week now. It had taken a fortnight for Curt to settle everything and finish up at Black-Gray, although he would still do some freelance work for them. He hadn’t worked out exactly what he’d do now he lived in Haven, and that worried her. He’d moved here because of her. What if he wasn’t happy? What if this had been a mistake?
She placed her hand over her stomach, trying to quell her fears. “I still feel guilty.”
He paused. “I thought we’d talked about this.”
They had and she’d listened to him as he’d told her all the reasons she shouldn’t feel that way. It had helped for a while. “I know. But I can’t help it. I lied to you. I caused so many problems. If those men who tried to kidnap me hadn’t been caught, they could have shot someone, they could have hurt one of my friends who came to find me. It could have been avoided if I had just talked to you. And I feel so bad.”
He pulled her over onto his lap where he sat on the couch in her living room. “Baby, you’re not to blame for what those men did. If they didn’t try to get you then, it would have happened another time. Or The Brit might still be out there, a threat. No one got hurt.”
“I know. But I…”
He rubbed his hand over her back. “You still feel guilty.”
She nodded.
“Guilt will eat you up alive. And it’s the last thing I want for you. I know what it’s like to live like that.”
“What if moving here makes you unhappy? What if you hate it here? What if we’ve made a mistake?”
“Oh baby. You can’t take everyone else’s problems on as your own. You’re going to eat yourself up.” He ran his thumb over her lower lip then nipped it gently. “I should have known you’d feel this way. I haven’t given you that spanking I owe you for not talking to me. I figured we’d both made mistakes and that we’d wipe the slate clean. That might have been a mistake if you’re feeling so terrible.”
“You’re going to spank me to get rid of the guilt?”
Umm…maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.
“Oh, I’m going to do more than that.” He stood her up and slapped her ass. “Go put on something sexy. A skirt and corset or a tight dress. No panties. No bra.”
Her heart raced. “Why?”
He narrowed his gaze. Whoops, probably not a good idea to question him when he was in Dom mode.
“Go.”
She raced upstairs and quickly got dressed, putting on some make-up and doing her hair. When she came downstairs, he was waiting on the sofa. He swirled his finger around and she did a slow twirl.
“Did you obey me?”
“Yes, Sir.” She was slightly shocked by the breathlessness in her voice.
“Lift your skirt. Show me.”
Holy fuck. Face hot with embarrassment, she lifted the front of her skirt, giving him a small peek before dropping it down.
“No,” he said slowly. “Lift it all the way up then leave it there until I give you permission to drop it.”
She pulled her skirt up, wondering how it was possible for her cheeks to grow any hotter. Her skirt was tight and she had to wiggle slightly to get it up over her ass.
“Very good.” Curt studied her bare pussy as she resisted the urge to cover herself. “Hands on your head. Turn slowly, show me that ass.”
Her heart racing, she turned around.
“Stop there.” He told her, sounding closer. Then he placed his hand on her ass and she jumped slightly. He chuckled. “Nervous, darlin’?”
Nervous? Was he kidding? She was going to jump out of her skin.
He gave her ass two heavy smacks. “I’m waiting for an answer. And I don’t like to wait.”
Yeah, like she didn’t know that already.
“Y-yes,” she quickly replied after two more spanks were applied to her vulnerable butt cheeks.
“Good,” his voice was filled with satisfaction. “Wait here, right like this while I get ready.”
Thank God all the drapes were pulled and the door locked or she wasn’t certain she’d be able
to stand there in such a vulnerable state. The minutes ticked by slowly until she heard him on the stairs again. Although the wait was worth it as he came into view. He wore dark jeans and a white linen shirt with the arms pushed up. With his hair slightly longer than usual and a five o’clock shadow on his cheeks, it wasn’t hard to imagine him as a wicked pirate.
“Good girl,” he told her, cupping a breast and running his thumb over her hard nipple. She was too big to go without a bra, but she’d chosen a sparkly top that had inbuilt support. Still, there was very little between her sensitive nipple and Curt’s skillful fingers. He plucked at the nipple, pulling on it, easing back when it reached the point of pain. Jenna leaned into him, wanting more.
Curt ran his hand down her body to cup her mound. He pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it back and forth. Jenna bit down on her lip, hoping to stop the cries she could feel building inside her.
Suddenly, he stopped, leaving her feeling breathless and on fire. He pushed her hair back from her face. “You are so beautiful and damn sexy.” Leaning in, he kissed her gently. “On your knees, baby. I need you to give me some relief. Spread those legs and put your hands on your thighs.”
She eagerly dropped to her knees as he undid his fly then pushed his pants and boxers down, revealing his thick erection. She knew better than to touch without permission, so she waited as he took hold of his cock, running his hand up and down the long shaft.
Then he held it out to her.
“Keep your hands on your thighs. Just use your mouth,” Curt commanded, closing his eyes as her mouth wrapped around the head of his cock. He kept hold of the base, mostly so he wouldn’t come too quickly. He wanted to savor the feel of her wrapping his dick in warm, wet heat. She ran her tongue over the head, across the slit and he shuddered. He squeezed his shaft tighter, his balls already aching with the need to come.
She sucked him in quick, taking him deep before slowly releasing him, running her tongue over his shaft. Part of him wanted to pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and carry her upstairs so he could fuck her all night long.
But that wasn’t what she needed from him tonight. It wouldn’t solve the guilt that was weighing her down. She needed to feel some sense of atonement. And if he was honest, he needed this too. Needed her. Needed that feeling of being in control. Of course, he could just punish her here, in the privacy of their home.
Their home. He liked the sound of that. Even if he knew it was going to take some getting used to.
But he was going to take her to Saxon’s. Not only were there all sorts of wicked and depraved equipment that he could use on her, but it was time. She’d never played in a club and the longer they left it the more nervous she would become. The atmosphere, the people would just add to her excitement.
And her trepidation.
After all, he didn’t want her to think he was a soft Dom.
He grinned wickedly right as he let go and came in her mouth. She sucked down every drop then licked him clean.
“Enough.” He pulled her up, running his hand over her bare ass. Reaching between them, he slid two fingers through her slick heat, pushing them up inside her as he flicked her clit with his thumb.
“So wet. So ready.”
As she clamped down around him, he pulled back, giving her a sharp smack on the ass. “No coming.”
Her face was flushed, her breathing heavy as she stared up at him with dazed eyes.
“But-but—”
He had to work hard to keep his face stern. Damn, she was cute when she was frustrated.
He ran his finger down her nose. “If you’re good I might give you permission to come at some stage tonight. But you’ll have to be very, very good.”
She stared at him in disbelief, her bottom lip dropping open. He tapped his finger against her chin. “Keep that mouth closed or I’ll find something to fill it. I have a very nice ball gag that I’ve been saving for you.”
Her eyes widened. So far, he hadn’t used many toys. That was going to change tonight.
“You wouldn’t.”
He chuckled. “Darlin’ you have no idea what’s in store for you tonight.”
Darlin’ you have no idea what’s in store for you tonight.
Jenna looked out the truck window the beautiful old house painted dark gray with white trim and a wide, wrap-around porch. If you were just driving past, you’d have no idea that it housed a BDSM club. The carpark was located around the back, the front lawn beautifully manicured. Curt maneuvered his truck around the back.
She swallowed heavily. She’d been to Saxons often and other than those first few times, she’d never been this nervous. Her hands were actually sweaty, she was slightly light-headed, her heart racing too fast, her breathing shallow and quick. Maybe it was because she was going to play for real tonight. Maybe it was because this would be her first time at a club with Curt.
“Jenna? Jenna, look at me.” She startled as she heard Curt speak, turning to him. The parking lot was well lit and it wasn’t hard to make out his face. His gaze narrowed as he studied her. “Shit, you’re freaking out.”
Reaching over, he grasped hold of her hands in his. “Listen to me, Jenna. Big, slow breaths. Come on, breathe in. Then out. In again.”
She followed his directions and her heart rate slowly returned to normal, the dizziness fading. Curt rubbed his thumbs over the backs of her hands.
“Better now, baby?”
Jesus, how embarrassing. She couldn’t believe she’d had a panic attack because Curt was going to spank her ass in front of a room full of people. Actually, when she put it like that, she could believe it.
“Sorry,” she told him. “Bit nervous.”
He snorted. “A bit? More like you’re in a full panic. We’re going home.” He turned on the truck.
“What? No.” She reached over and grasped hold of his thigh with her hand, squeezing. Damn, the man was rock hard with muscle. “I’m acting like an idiot.”
“You’re terrified. A little bit of fear is good, but scared to death is not. That is the last thing I want. If the idea of going inside makes you panic, how do you think you’ll react once we get started? I’m not here to force you to do things you don’t want to do.”
“I thought you Doms liked to push boundaries.”
“Yeah, we like to push them. We don’t like to bulldoze our way through them.”
“Curt, please, I’m ready for this. It’s just…”
“Just what?”
“I’m not sure what’s making me so nervous. It could be that I’ve never done anything but watch, or that I know people here and they’re going to see me…you know…”
“Get your butt spanked.”
Yeah, that.
“Or that I don’t know what’s going to happen.” She looked over at him. “I trust you, though. And I want to do this. With you. Please, Curt.”
He was quiet for a long moment and she held her breath, certain he was going to drive them home. Then he turned off the truck, turning to her slightly. She let out a deep breath.
“All right, we’ll go in. Nervousness is okay. Any panic and we’ll pull back and try another time. I expect you to talk to me.”
“I will, Sir.”
He ran his thumb down her cheek. “We don’t have to do anything more than watch or some fun play. It’s only been five weeks since those guys tried to take you.”
She blinked away some tears. She’d never had someone take care of her or put her first the way Curt did. She shook her head. Time to be brave.
“I want this.” But it was more than that. “I need it.”
“Yeah, I think you do. Remember, you can always use your safeword. Say yellow if things are going too fast or you need to pause and talk.”
She nodded. “No ball gag, then?”
He shook his head and relief filled her.
He opened the door then leaned in. “Not tonight anyway.”
Curt almost felt a sense of coming home once he wal
ked into the dungeon at Saxons. Not that he’d played here before. The other day when he’d come to speak to Saxon about becoming a member was the first time he’d ever been inside.
But he knew from speaking to Saxon that he ran a tight ship. Subs were closely watched. The Doms he used to monitor play were experienced and vetted by Saxon. The waitresses were all subs who usually had other jobs but enjoyed special privileges as Saxons subs, as he called them. They got their membership for free and they had the personal protection of Saxon, who spoke to each Dom they wished to play with and handled any negotiations necessary.
Underneath that annoying, sardonic exterior, Saxon was extremely careful and protective of what he considered to be his. Almost made Curt like…no, that wasn’t right, he didn’t like the guy. But he could almost admire him.
As they walked in, he saw the way the Doms in the club turned to stare at his sub, he reached back and pulled her close, taking hold of her hand.
Mine.
He knew he was probably acting too possessive, but he hadn’t realized how hard it would be to have everyone staring at her with hunger. Fuck, how had she gone so long without one of these Doms convincing her to play with them? They wanted her.
And why wouldn’t they? She was gorgeous and delightfully open as she gazed around. Her eyes widened as a sub cried out in pleasure, her Dom using a vibrator on her pussy. The sub was strapped down to an examination table, her feet fastened in the stirrups and spread wide, her arms pinned at her sides as wide leather straps ran over her body, holding her down.
The Dom pulled the vibrator back and his sub cried out, sobbing.
“Please, please, Sir.”
“Archer likes to make them beg,” Saxon said from beside him. Curt felt Jenna jump, she obviously hadn’t seen the other man approach. “He’ll have her sobbing by the time he relents and lets her come.”
Saxon moved around so he stood in front of them. “You’re playing tonight?”
“We are,” Curt said firmly, tensing himself for any argument from Saxon. He’d realized by now how protective the town was of Jenna. It both pleased him and pissed him off a little. Something else to get used to. But Saxon just grinned. There was a gleam in his eyes as he stared down at Jenna. “It’s about time. I thought I was going to have to interfere. Permission to speak to your sub?”
To Save Sir (Doms of Decadence Book 7) Page 24
