“We said blessings in school when I was little,” Sean said. “Show us how you do it.”
Nick crossed himself and said the prayer Ashley remembered her mother had taught her. Across from him, Sean repeated it, his forehead wrinkled as though he was trying to commit it to memory, which he probably was. Ashley wouldn’t be surprised if he asked to say grace at dinner tomorrow night.
Finished, Ashley twirled her spaghetti on the plate and scooped it into her mouth. Closing her eyes, she bit back a moan. Nick had taken all of five minutes to prepare a sauce she couldn’t have made if she had hours.
Sean fumbled trying to imitate Nick and twirl his spaghetti onto a spoon. He got most of it into his mouth. “Wow, this is the best sauce I’ve ever had,” Sean said.
Father and son grinned across the table from each other, twin smiles with a deep indentation in their chins. The guilt crater she’d dug herself into grew a little deeper.
“It’s delicious, Nick. I appreciate you doing this,” Ashley said.
“My pleasure,” Nick said.
While they ate, Sean talked about his classes, and Nick talked about his parents and siblings.
After they’d finished, Ashley stood and started collecting plates. “I’ll clean up since you did the cooking.”
Sean left, but she could feel Nick in the room. “It will go faster if we work together.”
“Thanks.” She opened the dishwasher and began rinsing and loading plates. “You cook and even clean up. There must be something wrong with you if your ex divorced you.”
She’d meant to only think it, but the wine had loosened her tongue, and she spoke what had been on her mind all night.
“I’m sorry. That was rude of me,” she said.
“No, it’s fine.” Nick dried a frying pan. “She couldn’t handle my job.”
“The danger?”
“Not knowing whether I’d come home at night or get stabbed or shot.”
“Did either ever happen?”
“Both, at different times. It’s a risk with my profession. I thought she understood.”
“I can see why she’d be worried, but I’m sure you’re careful.”
“I keep in shape to make sure I’m as strong as possible, but shit happens. All it takes is one wrong move—or someone else’s wrong move—and all hell breaks loose.”
“Still, if you love someone enough the job shouldn’t matter. You’re making a difference, and that’s pretty important.”
Beside her, Nick stilled. “Thanks for that. Franny never really got me, which is one of the reasons why we had broken up all those years ago.”
Ashley wondered what had happened between them but, despite her wine-loosened tongue, refrained from asking. The unasked question must have been obvious because Nick continued.
“Franny was high maintenance and would get mad if I spent too much time with my family or went out with my buddies.”
“I remember you worked at your family’s pizzeria. That must have kept you busy.”
“It did. She and I spent time together, but not every night. When her complaints got too much, we called it quits.”
“And then she found out she was pregnant.”
Nick nodded.
“What happened this time, if you don’t mind me asking?”
He paused a moment before continuing. “I came home from work early one afternoon and found her in bed with another guy.”
Now it was Ashley’s turn to be silent. What kind of woman does that to her husband, let alone to a man like Nick? “I didn’t know. How horrible for you.”
He finished drying the last pot and after folding the dishtowel, draped it over the drain board. “I’m over it.”
While Ashley did believe he was over what happened and even quite possibly his ex, could he ever get over the betrayal? Add in her own deception and Nick must feel women had it out for him. That she had contributed to his unhappiness made the fine meal she consumed churn in her stomach.
The light mood gone, Ashley tried to think of how to change the subject. “I’ll put coffee on?”
“I’d like that.”
Sean came running into the room. “Mom, Grandpa and Carole are here.”
And with that one sentence, Ashley’s hope to lighten the mood came to a crashing halt.
Chapter Eight
Nick sat across the table from Ashley’s father and immediately saw why she was introverted. After an awkward set of introductions, Ashley served coffee and the store-bought cake her father’s friend had brought. The woman, Carole, was introduced as Robert O’Neil’s physical therapist, but Nick sensed an intimate vibe between them. Sean ate a milk-free cupcake he’d taken out of the freezer.
It was understandable Ashley’s father would want to get to know the guy who had knocked up his daughter. Nick had been trying to figure out how to tell his own family and hadn’t been prepared to deal with Ashley’s.
“We’ve been to your parents’ restaurant,” Mr. O’Neil said. “The food is good.”
“Thanks. It opened last New Year’s Eve,” Nick replied.
“You remember Nick’s family used to own the pizzeria in the old neighborhood?” Ashley said.
“I lived not far from where you grew up. My family used to get take-out from there sometimes,” Carole said. “It’s a coffee shop now, isn’t it?”
“My youngest sister, Vicky, turned it into a bakery and café,” Nick said.
“How is it your entire family cooks and yet you’re a cop?” Mr. O’Neil asked.
“Nick’s a detective, Dad,” Ashley said.
He’d been expecting and dreading that question.
“I worked at the pizzeria since I was old enough to clear tables. Did my time in the kitchen, too, but it wasn’t how I wanted to spend my life.”
No, there’d been a deeper reason why Nick had become a cop. Only his parents knew, not even Kate who he was closest to.
“Have you told your parents about Sean?” Mr. O’Neil asked.
“I’ll see them tomorrow,” Nick said.
“Will they want to meet me?” Sean asked.
Nick looked at his son, sitting next to him, a worried expression on his face. “You can count on it. They’re going to love you.”
His words seemed to reassure Sean, and he relaxed his shoulders.
Aside from the shock of learning they had another grandchild, Nick knew his parents would welcome Sean into their lives. But first Nick needed to tell Gina and Joey.
“I should take off. I have an early day tomorrow.” Nick stood and reached his hand across the table. “It was nice to meet both of you.”
“I’ll walk you out.” Ashley led him to the front door.
Sean followed. “When am I going to see you again?”
Nick wondered the same thing.
“Soon.” Nick would be certain of it.
“Thanks for coming, Dad.”
“I’m glad we got to spend time together.” Nick pulled Sean into a hug and kissed the top of his head. “I’ll call you tomorrow night after dinner, if that’s okay.”
“Yeah.” With a wave, Sean rounded the corner back toward the dining room.
“We should talk about a visitation schedule,” Nick said when Sean was out of earshot.
“Why don’t you figure out what works for you, since you’ll have to plan it around your visits with Gina and Joey,” Ashley said.
For the past few hours, Nick had been absorbed in the sense of family he felt with Ashley and Sean—things absent from his life for quite some time. It made him feel like his old self.
Almost.
Now, he’d have to face Joey and deal with Gina’s attitude about Sean—not something to look forward to.
“I will.”
She opened the front door, and they stood looking at each other. The moon was full and cast a soft glow on her hair, making it shine bright like an angel’s. She’d pulled it into a ponytail when they’d started cooking. Nick liked it better down around her
shoulders.
“Thanks for rescuing dinner. Maybe we can have a redo when I’m not such a mess,” she said.
“I’ll take you up on that.”
“Crap. We never soaked your shirt.”
“No worries. I’ll take care of it when I get home.” He clasped her hand. “You’re a good mom, and Sean’s a great kid. If either of you need anything—day or night—please call me.”
She nodded, and tears fill her eyes. “I don’t deserve your kindness, but thanks.”
Nick wanted to pull her into his arms. Memory of their steamy kiss the other day was still fresh in his mind. It was disconcerting that he was drawn to this woman, who’d also betrayed him. And while she may have awakened his libido, he didn’t know whether he could move past her lie.
Needing space before he gave into his desire and kissed her, he let go of her hand and stepped back. “I’ll let you know my schedule when I call tomorrow. Thanks for tonight.”
He turned and walked out into the night.
****
Ashley closed the door behind Nick’s retreating form. She wasn’t sure what happened, but something had changed, and he went from the warm and playful man who cooked dinner and didn’t mind getting wine spilled on him to someone distant.
She felt a connection with him she’d never had with anyone else. Even after lying to him, there was still chemistry between them.
But would any of that matter now?
She straightened her shirt and ran a hand across her hair before returning to the dining room.
“Sean, it’s time for your shower,” she said.
“Okay. Grandpa, do you want to see my toothpick bridge? I finished it the other day.”
“I’d love to.”
“Nick seems to be a nice man,” Carole said as soon as Sean and her father left the room.
“He is,” she said.
Carole reached out to touch Ashley’s forearm. “I’m sorry you walked in on your dad and me earlier. It’s still new to us, and we were waiting before telling you and Sean.”
“My father is a good and trusting man. Please don’t mess with his heart,” Ashley said.
“He is, and I care deeply for him. I’ve never gotten involved with a patient before.”
Who was Ashley to judge this woman who’d made her dad laugh and smile as Ashley hadn’t seen before.
“Thanks for that,” Ashley said.
“I’d like to get to know you better,” Carole said.
Ashley never had a woman figure in her life and wasn’t sure she was ready to open her heart to one, but maybe she needed to for her father’s sake.
“I’d like that, too,” Ashley said.
They began clearing dishes.
“How long before there will be wedding bells for you and Nick?”
Not expecting her frankness, Ashley lost her grip on the stack of dirty plates and barely managed to avoid dropping them. “Ah, try never.”
“Anyone with two eyes can see there’s something between you. He’s divorced, and you’re single. You have a son together.”
“I’m not sure what my father told you, but Nick and I never dated. It was one night. It wasn’t hearts and flowers.”
No, it was far from it. There was champagne and silk ties, and while it may sound romantic, it was hot, sweaty, and very sexy. No other experience had compared to her one night with Nick, and nothing probably ever would.
“You did get together at a wedding. That’s romantic.”
It wasn’t romantic when he’d made her come in the elevator. It was risky, dangerous, and completely out of character for her. Which is what made it more exciting and oh so memorable.
Ashley tried to ignore her burning cheeks. “Maybe, but we didn’t have a happily-ever-after ending.”
“Yet.”
“There is no yet. I made a bad decision not telling Nick about Sean. That’s a lot to ask someone to forgive. Nick’s been understanding—more than I’d expected—but I’m not the pretty cheerleader type he used to go for. That’s the kind of girls he dated in high school and the kind he married.”
“That’s the kind he divorced, from what I understand,” Carole said.
She had a point.
“As much as I’ve tried, I lack normal social skills. I messed up dinner tonight and even spilled a glass of wine on him.” Ashley leaned against the counter and covered her face with her hands. “I’m a hot mess.”
“I haven’t known you long, but even I can tell you’re a smart woman and a great mother. You need to work on reminding yourself of all your positive assets. The main way to overcome your insecurities is to believe it.”
Easier said than done.
“I do. Every. Single. Day. There’s something about him…he makes me feel awkward and…”
Aroused…needy…horny.
“Desirable, perhaps?” Carole added.
Yeah, exactly like that.
She nodded and took a chance to ask this woman’s opinion. “I get all twisted up when I try and talk to him. Small talk is not my forte. Take tonight, for instance. I asked him about his divorce.”
“It’s a reasonable question. I mean you gave up your own potential happiness because of his impending marriage only to learn now it didn’t work out. Makes me wonder if you’re more suited to him than you think.”
Ashley’s face heated with the thought of that possibility, but she shut it down before it took root. Nick could have anyone. Why would he pick her?
“It doesn’t matter. After what I’ve done, he probably won’t want to see me again unless it involves Sean.”
“I guess time will tell.”
If Ashley allowed herself to think she had a future with Nick, then she’d be the fool. Dreams of a handsome prince carrying the girl into the sunset had never been something she’d allowed herself to wish for. Those fantasies were for weak girls who needed a man to define who they were.
Ashley didn’t need anyone.
She’d done fine without a mother, taking care of the house and her father. When she had Sean, she figured out what she needed about raising an infant. She learned the meaning of self-reliance and found it difficult to lean on people.
She sure as hell didn’t need a man, even one as deliciously sexy as Nick.
Loving someone meant opening yourself up to being hurt, and Ashley would not risk being hurt by taking a chance on love.
It was better for her to keep her involvement with Nick all business—even if a small part of her wondered what it would be like for him to carry her off in the sunset.
What did her heart know, anyway?
****
Early Sunday morning, Nick drove to Franny’s to pick up Gina and Joey. It had been his weekend to have the kids, but since Gina’s dance class was moved to later in the day due to detention and both kids were going to a sleepover Saturday night, Nick agreed to only see them on Sunday.
After church, he planned on telling them about Sean before heading to his parents’ house for Sunday afternoon dinner, where he’d break the news to the rest of his family.
And wouldn’t that cause a guaranteed case of agida?
After parking outside his apartment, Joey bounded up the stairs while Gina trudged behind, texting.
“You know the deal, G. No texting and walking,” Nick said, feeling like a broken record for the number of times he had to repeat himself.
In typical Gina fashion, she grunted but slipped the phone in her back pocket.
Nick unlocked his door and tossed his keys on the breakfast bar.
“Why’d we come here first, Dad?” Joey asked. “I thought we were going right to Grandma and Grandpa’s.”
Nick’s stomach clenched at telling them about Sean, but he owed them the truth. He placed the bag of donuts he’d gotten from the church—fresh from Decadent DeLites—on the table and went to the fridge for orange juice.
“Sit at the table.” Nick poured three glasses of juice and carried them to the table where he set napkin
s in front of them.
“Yeah.” Joey sat and dug into the bag for a jelly donut. He took a huge bite, getting jelly on his mouth and powdered sugar on his nose.
Gina plopped into the chair adjacent to him. “You’re gross.”
Boys will be boys. Nick handed him a second napkin for his face. “Here, bud.”
Gina picked out a Boston cream, being careful not to get chocolate on her fingers.
It was now or never.
“There’s something I need to tell you.” Nick ran a hand through his hair. “You know your mom wasn’t the first girl I dated.”
“Well, duh, Dad. Nobody dates only one person before they get married,” Gina said. “That’s what Mom told us.”
Great. Next, Franny would tell them it was okay to have premarital sex and would buy them condoms.
Nick flipped a kitchen chair backward and straddled it, leaning his forearms along the back. “I found out yesterday one of the women I’d gone out with got pregnant.”
Joey paused midway toward reaching for another donut.
Gina sucked in her breath. “You mean you have another child who isn’t Mom’s?”
“A boy, a couple months younger than you, G.”
“How? Who has he been living with?” Joey said.
“His mother and grandfather. They lived in California and moved here a few months ago,” Nick said.
“Why didn’t his mom tell you?” Joey asked.
There were details an eleven-year-old didn’t need to know.
“She was sick and couldn’t tell me. Then too much time passed, and she never did.”
“That’s lame,” Gina said.
“What’s his name?” Joey asked.
Here’s where the shit could hit the fan.
“His name is Sean.” Nick flicked a gaze to Gina. “Sean O’Neil.”
It took a second for it to register, and when it did, Gina jumped up. “What? Are you freaking kidding me, Dad?”
“I wouldn’t joke about something like this.”
“I can’t even believe this.” She pressed her fingers to her temples as though she was trying to process all she’d heard before bursting into tears.
Nick rose to comfort her, but she stepped back. “Do you know what me being related to him is going to do to my popularity level at school?”
Awaken My Heart Page 10
