by Sienna Parks
Selma drops her head. “I can’t lie to him.”
“You have to. It’s the only way to save him. You heard them. If I’m alive and the Heavens and the Underworld find out about my existence, then there will be an all out war with so many lives lost, one of which could be the man we both love. Please, Selma, help me keep Luxure alive.”
“You love him that much? You’d die for him? You’ve only known him a short time.”
“Before I met Luxure, I didn’t know what love was. He’s shown me how to love, taught me what it is to be connected to another being. I feel like my life finally started the moment I met him. He has given me the most amazing gift. I would gladly give up my life for his.”
I can see how conflicted she is. She doesn’t want to lie to Lux or risk incurring his wrath if he finds out she helped me escape and give myself up to keep him safe. I also see how much she loves him, and how painful it’s been for her to watch him with another woman. As we stare into each other’s eyes, we both know that she will carry the guilt with her for the rest of her immortal life if she helps me—the guilt of relief when I’m gone, and the renewed hope that Luxure may one day return her love.
“I’ll help you.”
“Thank you, Selma.”
“I can’t jump the same way Lux can. He is the most prolific jumper there has ever been. Not even Lucifer himself can jump planes like him.”
“Can you get me to San Francisco?”
“I’ll try, but as much as I concentrate on the place, we might end up somewhere else.”
“I’ll take my chances. You’re my only hope. Wherever we end up, I’ll make my own way from there. Thank you for agreeing to try.”
“Can I trust you, Sirena?”
“What do you mean?”
“Can I trust you not to tell the Vollstrecker everything you know if they capture you? They will torture you.”
“I promise you, I won’t let you down. You can trust me.”
She nods her head resigned to my request. “When do you want to go?”
“Now. I can’t say goodbye. If I stand in front of Lux and look into his violet eyes, I won’t have the strength to walk away.”
She breathes out a massive sigh. “Are you sure about this?”
I take a moment to think about what I’m asking of her and what she’s asking me. “Yes. None of you should die for me.”
“You realize we’re immortal?”
“Yes, and I know that Lucifer can kill you if he wants to. I won’t take that risk… not with Lux’s life or any of yours. Please, let’s just go before I change my mind and run back into his arms.”
“As you wish.” She takes my hands breathing deeply to concentrate on where we’re going.
It’s takes a few minutes, but I feel the moment we start the transition, it’s not the same as jumping with Lux or Cole. This feels slow and excruciating like my body is being torn apart one small piece at a time. I close my eyes and wish for death. I don’t think I can handle this agony any longer. Everything turns black. Through the pain, I can still feel Selma holding me together hearing her screams mingled with my own. When I feel like it’s never going to end, everything around us stops.
The world is silent. The pain is gone. Selma is holding my hands encouraging me to open my eyes, but I can’t. “Sirena, open your eyes. We’re okay. It’s over.”
I slowly open my eyes. Selma looks exhausted, her skin glistening with the exertion of the jump, and yet it remains as cold as granite against my own. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine. I need to stay here until I’m strong enough to make the jump back to Lux.”
“Where is ‘here’ exactly?” We look around trying to make sense of our surroundings.
“I think we’re in L.A. Dammit!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I didn’t get you to San Francisco. You need to get out of here now. Go, rent a car, and get as far away from me as you can. I’ve probably drawn attention with that jump.”
“What about you? I can’t leave you here if you’re in danger.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m in more danger if I’m found with you. I can take care of myself. Now go!”
I spring to my feet and start running for my life. Before I round the corner, Selma calls my name. “Sirena!” I turn to face her. “Thank you… for saving Lux.”
My eyes well with tears at the mention of his name. “Thank you for this. Take care of him.” She simply nods as I wipe the tears from my eyes.
One last glance at Luxure’s best friend, and I turn the corner ready to face my fate alone.
17
LUXURE
“Fuck!” I leap from the booth where I’ve been sitting for the past hour with Cole and Kade, talking over what to do next.
“What’s wrong?” Cole is instantly concerned.
“I just felt Sirena disappear.”
“I thought you weren’t supposed to sense her in case you draw attention to our whereabouts?”
“That’s true if I actively sense her. This feeling his different. Lately, if she’s close by I can feel her energy, as if it’s somehow attached to my own. It’s constant… but it just stopped.”
Kade is by my side in seconds. “What about Selma? They’re together.”
“I don’t know. Shit! I knew I shouldn’t have let them go off on their own. We need to go and find them… now!”
I throw some cash on the table and head out the door. Kade and Cole make their way over to the motel to grab a car, but I can’t wait that long. I make the jump to the closest town. There’s nothing and no one here. Cole appears moments later, followed by Kade. “What the fuck are you doing? Are you trying to get us all killed?”
“I don’t have time to worry about that. I need to find Sirena.”
“You can’t track her, it would be suicide. We’ll track Selma, and hopefully, she’ll lead us to Sirena.”
“Hopefully? What the fuck? If I can’t feel her, then there are only two possibilities. One is that she left and is too far away for me to feel her connection, or… she’s dead. That can’t fucking happen. I just found her.”
“Selma wouldn’t let anything happen to her. She kept your sorry ass alive for a thousand years.” Kade seems so sure of himself.
Cole is busy walking the streets, but I don’t know what he’s looking for—a sign that the girls were here. He stops next to a bench halfway down the only street in this Podunk town. “They jumped.”
“How the fuck can you know that?”
“A skill I’ve picked up in your absence, brother.” His words unsettle me, but right now I don’t have time to dig deeper.
“Do you know where they went?”
“I can track them. Just give me a few minutes.”
I look to Kade for answers, but he seems as surprised as me. “You’ve been busy, brother.”
Cole ignores us focused solely on what I assume is tracking the girls. Kade and I simply stand and watch unsure of what we’re looking at. After a few long minutes, Cole snaps out of his trance, taking a deep breath, as if he can smell them. He turns to us, a wry smile on his face. “We’re going to L.A.”
I run my hands through my hair in a mixture of frustration and rage. “L.A.? What the fuck were they thinking?”
“Let’s go. We can ask questions later. Take my hand, and I’ll take us directly to them.” Kade and I grab hold of him. The surge of power from the three of us united is a rush I’d all but forgotten. In a flash we’re standing in a dark, dank alley in L.A. I scan the area, a supernatural presence strong in the air. There in the darkest corner, I see her, and relief floods my body before being replaced with sheer anger.
“What the fuck were you thinking? Azazel comes into town, ambushes us, slits Gabe’s throat in front of us before disappearing God knows where, and you decide the best idea is to skip town without telling us? I thought you were better than this, Sel.”
Kade steps between us dropping to his knees and scooping Selma into h
is arms. “Can’t you see she’s hurt? I don’t think this is the time or the place to start a fight about right and wrong.” He stands, squaring his shoulders, my best friend cradled in his arms. “Move out of my way, Lux.”
“Not until she tells me where Sirena is! Or did you fail to notice that the most important being ever to walk this Earth… is missing!”
Cole steps forward. “She’s not here, and I can’t sense her. It’s as if she’s cloaked herself.”
“She doesn’t have that ability.” Even as I say the words, I begin to question myself. I have no real idea what Sirena is capable of, or what she might be capable of in the future. She changes and evolves with every passing day.
“We don’t know that. Selma is our only chance of finding her without you having to set alarm bells ringing by sensing her, and you’re being a jackass to her!”
“I don’t give a fuck about raising alarms. If I need to do that, it’s what I’ll do.”
Selma lifts her head, her voice quiet and defeated. “She made me promise not to tell you.”
“What the fuck? That shit doesn’t fly with me. We’ve been friends for a millennium, your loyalty should be to me. Where the fuck is she?”
The hurt in her eyes is almost too much for me to handle. “My loyalty to you? What about your loyalty to me, Luxure?” The truth of her words is like a knife to my cold, lifeless heart.
“I love you, Sel. I always will. But…”
“Exactly, BUT.”
“I can’t explain it. She’s connected to me. All of this is connected somehow. You, me, Abi, The Brotherhood, and Sirena. I need to find out what that connection is and what it means.”
Selma knows how much I’ve struggled with my place in the scheme of things, and how I’ve fought against my nature questioning my very existence. She, more than anyone, understands what this thing with Sirena means to me.
Kade shoves past me holding Selma tight to his chest. “We need to get her out of here and rested. You can continue your Spanish Inquisition later.”
“Since when did you run the show, Kade?”
“Since you stopped looking out for your best friend.” He keeps walking forcing me to follow him. “Look at her, Lux, really look at her. She’s in bad shape right now, and you don’t even seem to care.”
I stop in my tracks taking a moment to do just as he says. I take a good, long, hard look at my friend—the woman who kept me alive all this time and who has loved me unconditionally getting nothing in return. She looks exhausted—broken.
I catch up to Kade and stand in front of him. Without a word, I put my hands underneath Selma’s seemingly fragile body and take her into my arms. Kade tries to put up a fight, but I stare him down daring him to challenge me. He thinks twice about it, then falls in step with Cole behind me. Selma curls into me and begins to cry. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her cry. Her cold, hard skin chills me to the core, but I don’t let her see it. My mighty Masuulka warrior is a shadow of her former self in this moment. She needs me, and I need to be here for her. I walk for miles continuing to carry her as if she weighs nothing more than a feather, my mind constantly wandering to Sirena. Where is she? Is she okay? And I know as soon as Selma is well enough to tell me where she is, I’m going to jump to her—fuck the consequences. I know better now. I can get her out of there quick enough to save us both. I won’t make the same mistake I made with Abiteth.
Cole books us into a hotel—one that’s much nicer than our usual haunts. I guess he feels bad for Selma. He hasn’t said a word since we arrived in L.A. which is unlike him. I grab the key for Sel’s room and head for the elevators. I don’t wait for my brothers letting the doors close us in alone. I hold her close whispering in her ear, “I won’t let anything happen to you. I love you, my sweet Masuulka.” She doesn’t answer burrowing further into my chest. I open the door to her room leaving the lights off so as not to startle her. I lay her down and pull the covers up over her slender frame. It’s purely an act of comfort as she doesn’t feel cold or heat, her skin impervious to anything so basic as temperature. I kiss her forehead. “Rest, my friend.”
As I pull back, she grabs my face and pulls my lips down onto hers. I feel the teardrops on her cheeks, but the moment our lips meet, I stop her. “No, Selma. I’m sorry.”
She doesn’t have the fight to argue with me slumping down into the pillow. “I know. I had to try… just once… before…”
“Before what?” The silence is deafening. Her hesitance is making me uneasy. “Before what, Selma?”
“Before I tell you what I did, and you hate me forever. I had to know what it felt like to kiss you.”
I’m scared to ask. “What did you do?” I’m trying to control the tone of my voice, but I’m anxious and angry and fearful all at once, and it’s a struggle to contain it.
When she finally speaks, I can’t believe my ears. “I helped her jump. I was trying to get her to San Francisco to see her mom. I can’t jump like you, but she knew you’d never take her.”
I start pacing the room suppressing the urge to pick her up and shake her like a ragdoll. “What the fuck were you thinking? You know either the Vollstrecker or the Guardians will be there waiting for her. Or was that your angle? She’ll die, and you think I’ll turn to you for comfort?”
“No! I just want you to stay alive. If you’re with her, that won’t happen.”
“How could you be so damn selfish, Sel? I thought you were better than that.”
“It wasn’t my idea. It was hers. She wanted to sacrifice herself to ensure your survival. She loves you enough to die for you.”
Every word from her mouth makes me ache for Sirena. “That wasn’t her decision to make. This is bigger than her… or me… or both of us together. We need to discover the truth. I won’t let her die for me.”
“But if the rest of us die along the way, then it’s collateral damage?”
“No!” I punch the wall in frustration. “I would never let anything happen to you or my brothers.”
“You didn’t give a shit about any of them all these years. What’s changed?”
“I have. I was being selfish. I need to restore The Brotherhood and take back what’s mine, and I need Sirena by my side to do that, so tell me where she is now.”
“She left me here to recover and went to rent a car. She’s driving the rest of the way. She won’t be long out of town, but if you don’t want to alert every supernatural being to her whereabouts, then you need to let her make her way to San Francisco and meet her there.”
“No way. She could be attacked on the way.”
“If you go to her now, you will ensure an attack. She’s off the radar for now. Please trust me. Go to San Francisco and wait for her.”
How can she say that? “Trust you? After you sent her off to die?”
“Luxure, your safety has been my number one priority for close to a thousand years. I see now that your survival is tied to hers somehow. If I thought she was in danger, I would tell you to sense her and go straight away. I made a mistake with the best intentions.” She slowly stands and makes her way over to where I’m pacing at the window. Her movements are tentative and labored. I can see it took a lot out of her to make the jump. She knew it would happen, and she did it anyway. She also must have known there was a chance that the Vollstrecker would sense her jump, and she wouldn’t be strong enough to defend herself. I pull her into my arms. “Please, Luxure, please trust me. I think I’ve earned it over the years.”
“Okay. I’ll go to San Francisco and find her mom before she does. As soon as she arrives, I’ll have to go underground with her. It’s too dangerous for all of you. I’ll be in touch when I can, but it might be a while.”
She wraps her arms around me, holding me tight. “Stay alive, my friend.”
“I will. Cole and Kade will be watching over you. Let them.”
“I will.” Her words echo in my ears as I jump leaving her arms empty in the darkness of the hotel room. I know Cole wi
ll sense my jump and come to check on her. He’ll do what is right.
The wait is killing me. Everything inside of me is screaming to go and get my girl, but instead, I’m standing outside of her mom’s house hidden from view, waiting for her to arrive safely. Having so much time to think is not a great thing for me—ever. Sitting here alone in the silence, I can’t stop thinking about Sirena and the fact she left me. She feels what I feel when we’re together. She can’t fake or deny it. How could she leave knowing she would end up dead? Didn’t she stop to think how it would affect me? I know she was her usual self—amazingly self-sacrificing—but from my point of view it’s extremely selfish of her to die ‘saving the world.’ The world can go fuck itself when it comes to Sirena. She’s mine, and I will protect what’s mine. I don’t give a fuck about the collateral damage.
The real problem is the fact that when I think about Sirena for any length of time, I start to question everything over and over again. I know I’m selfish, it’s always been something I’m proud of. I do what I want when I want, and I don’t make apologies for it because it’s who I was born to be. The mere existence of Sirena makes who I am… a complete fraud. I’m evil because I want to be, not because I was born this way, or because the big bad Almighty decided it for me. It turns out I chose not to rage against my nature. I wasn’t strong enough to do that, but Sirena was. She is stronger than anyone else in existence and not just for her choice to be human, but for her decision to die to save me and everyone else. There is no more selfless act than to die for someone you love. I know this to be true from many thousands of years observing humanity. Their lives are fleeting and finite. To give it up for someone else is the ultimate act of sacrifice. Knowing that Sirena is willing to do that for me, makes me hate myself… and makes me love her more than ever.
I’ve been sitting here watching everyone who walks by making sure I’ve not been tailed. As far as I can tell, Sirena’s mom is safe for now. When a car finally pulls up outside the house, and Sirena steps out, a wave of relief washes over me. Her eyes find mine in an instant. I couldn’t hide from her even if I tried. My body is vibrating just at her mere proximity. I emerge from the shadows. “Sirena.” My heart melts at the sound of her name on my lips. This is no time for the anger I felt only moments ago.
