skew capturing the odds on oddity, yeah, those far-out deviations that may upset the science of one’s laws, her real job nine to five consumed one’s own ragged schoolkid schedule and one’s late bed and one’s eighteen-year-old unemployed pyjama cloth and until she then asked for information and one felt a flickering substitution of the older man in question for oneself, and one said, "James Mayn," etcetera, consumed even almost the black synthetic cloth of the amazing Rail’s shirt susceptible to butter more than bullets until now just nightfall at one’s roll-top desk angry that the phone was not Amy, hungry for peanut butter in the kitchen on the far side of one’s parents’ secret junta of sounds and lingering here to feel, if one can, one hand through all one’s assignments, one modulus through Music, Spanish, English, Physics, Eco, a curve (say) that’s coming from far off and that when it gets here doesn’t meet either of the two half-lines half-framing it notched vertical and horizontal which Dr. Roger Rail likes almost as much as his curve, a line with dots on it, scheduled stops on a crooked airline’s great arc of route, spots of double quantity where vertical and horizontal by thought’s invisible lines intersect on their way elsewhere.
"Ships in the night," one’s mother is heard to say to one’s father, who says, "Well, not quite," and then without warning, "Oh Suze!" Then, "Let go of dependence, Marv." "Oh Suze." "It’s hard, Marv, I can’t do it myself sometimes, it has to be hard." "Suze." "Friends." "Friends."
The husky voice is made naked of its huskiness—its husk, one adds, reading, "As population doubles and redoubles, it is exactly as if the globe were being halved in size," but wondering if the globe is not also a template constant and unbroken and even like the temple of one’s home limitless if understood—hearing, "Can I make you a cup of tea while you’re getting dressed?" and "But Marv, we’re surviving, and risk is always, you know, painful—no thanks, I’ve been on a juice trip all day—and Marv I don’t feel I’m being, you know, had any more—you know?—hey I am dressed, I’m going like this." So one thinks of the clothes of her date, wondering who phoned.
Fading down a warp into dark dimension not like humor, no, not like humor, a curve by the amazing aroused unsuited professor, but the curve itself maybe not amazing with dots on it, etcetera, then suddenly a new curve crossing the northwest-southeast curve southwest up to northeast, but, unlike Rail, his curves obvious, oh Amy the whole thing obvious to the point at which it might fade out on you—on one—into such a rolling tilt (trick of the eye or not) that the first curve’s point escaped up the black sleeve of the bald man’s shirt just as he said, "Concave," and was saying, "One may plot . . ." and bringing the chalk toward his mouth so that concave became an elbow’s right angle at the instant that the unknown but not nameless girl (just a hair more voluptuous than likewise blonde twenty-three-year-old Amy who is worth a hundred of her who though unknown is also known elsewhere in the space-time of the classroom’s fall as Mary Minsky) outlining and again and again outlining her name, decorating her name in soft pencil in her notebook near one’s elbow so that one moved one’s desk closer to see, suddenly crossed her orange legs—snug orange tights for November—as if she were getting ready to start filling up an exam booklet: upon which instant of rising value the attention of the hunched vertical maestro (teacher) at the board and that of one’s sedentary own horizon met from two distances at what would have been an equilibrium (even given the difference between one’s own side perspective and Rail’s frontal) had not some doubt come into play as to the behavior of the variable in question, for had one here an instance of suddenly increased demand causing the price of equilibrium to travel right up the supply curve, or, since the quantity of what was available had perhaps (though one couldn’t tell for sure) not increased, had one here (had we here) a supply shift where the commodity or good becomes harder to get (whether really lessened or artificially lessened) so that equilibrium price now traveled leftward up the demand curve?
Was she, in short, more in demand or was there less of her available, as the eye ran neutrally landing here upon all her points curving always through the locus of all her possible points into the void of one’s own surplus shortage opening around one a space of fifty-minute hours bound into an autumn of weeks during which the class’s course deepened and was the same, was nothing next to all that came between each gradually numberless class meeting, was also one room one went on in from one point to another, straight or around, until against the trips between two parents in one home, between two homes instead of one, two domiciles with one empty ceiling on what to expect, between two parents become one-at-a-time-in-their-lives, the points thrown out by the amazing Rail could sometimes seem one conscious curve of all history—resources, costs, alternatives, the menu of choices along the production-possibility frontier—at the same time that as one smiled at his salt and gusto and the pomp of his sheer brain, his One everlasting and his fraction fractured by fractions, the incestuous blackboard deepening from rasure to rasa (while cielo raso, ceiling, is now not above but adelante, before), and his secret yen (he said) to open up the Rockefellers, dissolve the mysteries of distribution and oligopoly pricing to see strange profits rise during recession like energy made of nothing, new pride out of depression, one might fall inertly or grow into the inner or under concavity described by Rail’s waterfall contoured down the big blackboard with such alegria, such potencia, such Latin heat and so repente that the snap of the chalk split in mid-course released from the class en conjunto a laugh of relief that, across the cosmic vacancy of the board he had been moved to saltar de gozo, leap with joy—exalta-cionarse if one’s dictionary can hold such a word—pouring, precipitating, sending that curve down that slate sky to transcend, beat, swamp, wipe out points and show concavity itself, that the maestro may muestre how a bowed-out, concave curvature of the production-possibility frontier depicts the "law of increasing relative costs." But the waterfall was due to retract its short life, for the red-faced bearded student Donald—Donald Dooley—who came with knapsack crammed to the seams and topped by a tight-rolled down sleeping bag as if to pillow him against tripper’s whiplash was always challenging Rail.
Let there be curves for all events! cried Rail—the tool, though, has no more use than its user gives it.
I have a vision, however, Donald the knapsack man breaks in, I see a geographer in his tower formulating countries by their shape.
Meanwhile the economist, says Rail, cannot conduct controlled experiments.
But what, says Donald Dooley, will this neutral policy-science of yours do for those unknown statistics that don’t get their fair share of the gross national theory?
The question all in all joins one and one’s fellow students for a moment uneasily against the man in the black shirt and on behalf of the guy who with his knapsack has come in out of the urban wilderness to ask what he has to ask. But Rail has a southwest-northeast curve up his sleeve and out it comes. But not a curve at first sight—a straight line he calls a curve which then vibrates and loosens into local hammocks stretching and bowing while that straight line from corner to corner holds firm. For one has here (yes?)—the words are withheld for a moment of awful possibility during which someone at the controls on the other, the far, dark side of the blackboard seems to have thrown onto it the lines of this possibility that, having overlooked what will now be shown one, will reveal to one that one is a prisoner concentrated in one’s own home, though which home one hasn’t time to see—the one within striking distance of golf port and air course or the one near the long, narrow women’s restaurant with the big plate-glass window on a street in the City.
"No tools are neutral," Rail was saying—and the point would go on into the next week if week is the word—and de repente one saw form on the board a second southwest-northeast hypotenuse hammocked below with saggier bows likewise labeled with national initials—"Put these in your provisions for the long trip, Donald"—for here were graphs of injustice, graphed inequalities, on one side income distribution, on the o
ther concentrations of wealth compared to yearly earned income. Rail’s points were two (but do they fade as one makes them, Amy?): first, that pre-industrial economies showed more inequality of income than advanced economies while holdings of wealth were spread less equally in advanced economies than are annual earned incomes; second, that these inequality curves implied in advance a wish to guard against extreme inequality, yes?
But while all eyes turned to Donald Dooley’s quite electrifying "No!" and to his combed barba and his blue-eyed iron and the lumps and pricks and metal-looking edges packing the khaki knapsack occupying the desk seat beside his, one’s own eyes found in the silver horseshoe bell curve lying on its side buckling Rail’s belt and half hidden in the stress of his paunch the making of new equals, like equations so weird that like digits on the same Invisible Hand their kinship was the void with which they threatened sight. Hey!
And while one heard the campus camper Donald the survivor al campo raso, the viajero y autostopista, retort in another medium but like a standard metal template laid down for pattern, "You’re telling us those curves defend the workingman under capitalism but you know as well as I do except it doesn’t freak you out that they secretly annihilate socialism, and those curves whatever you call them are next-door neighbor to that Italian Pareto whom you yourself would never call a Fascist maniac" (laughter set loose in the room, rising like hope, falling like breath, like eyes before staring power) "yes that Fascist statistician who made those charts you know that show that income is distributed the same in all countries no matter what political institution and tax system you have, and as for no controlled experiment, Doctor Rail, what about the man in the big bank across the river—what’s his name? you know—who says O.K., guys, we raise the interest rate tomorrow morning, and Doctor Rail none of your equations is telling us that the workers spend what they get and the capitalists get what they spend and telling us that we own seventy-five percent of the world through multinationals and if you want the GNP of Iran your same old equation C plus I plus G ought to be divided by CIA—because the CIA rents Iran, mon," one found Rail looking at one and saying what he then seemed to see that one knew (though perhaps not able to imagine one looking back to the night when one had leafed beyond, leaped ahead of, next day’s assignment through the skewed and sacred text like a diviner celebrating chance), "Lorenz curve, Donald, Lorenz curve," but Dooley cried, "What is economics, Rail?" and Rail, looking all around the room while simultaneously up the warp of the girl’s lap next to one, said quietly for a laugh, "It means ‘housekeeping’—Greek for managing a household," and when Dooley groaned and reached over and slapped his knapsack, Rail turned his attention to one and said, "Larry, I haven’t seen your hand up this term, what do you think of these curves?"
Well!
One might have answered,’ ‘They are a convenient method of representing the difference between income property and income from work." But one found oneself thinking that though of course Rail could not know that according to one’s mother Susan one is "too fucking smart," somehow Rail knew one’s name—wow!—and thinking that by some new math to divide C plus I plus G by C plus I plus A might yield G over A, one actually said, "I think these curves are a way to get from one point to another point and back again," to mild titters male and female, while then one shot from life to Eco and back as between Adam Smith the father of the Invisible Hand and Adam Smith who retired to take care of his mother knowing as well as the capitalists he left to their own devices that to fleece the future of its true unknowns the employers clipped the present to make it come true. But, following the normal bell-shaped curve of error, one’s concentration turned so repente through the horseshoe buckle edged by plump puffs of stress that one reached Lorenz through an unprecedented equals sign between the elastic modulus for Volume-Receiving-Stress and the form of Rail’s Velocity of Circulation. But Lorenz!—the name—it rang a silent bell in oneself. And whatever Rail said now of pure economics in this class this time or next time or several-times-this-class, or whatever he said of the apparently neutral theory that reducing income inequality won’t increase saving among poor people—one could not help contracting (if not shrinking) toward one’s home or homes where, being their product, one then felt the talk of one’s parents touch one so that like a snail’s raw lip one sucked back out of sight, or like a turtle, spider, or person of one’s acquaintance retracted liable limbs and contracted in or out of the harsh light that was invisible to parents debating the marriage contract that one sensed must be so late—"God, Sue, next thing we’ll be on a regular budget"—that when one’s female parent said a year or more ago, "Every other week, condoms," one must question what they would be for—the condoms. For even if, as Mom said, "we spend the same whether we budget or not," Susan and Marv who once were supposed to have been one seemed now two, as if a template had got warped between the first and second print —do you see, Amy? Yet these two people, Susan and Marv, one’s parents, were so contracted into one oneself they seemed to be oneself until, by a heretofore unheard-of trick of substitution without trade-off, one economized on action, put Amy in a class by herself where no longer employed by a foundation on research into right-brain projection for the handicapped she spent her days finely, subtly, warmly outlining one’s name in the palm of her hand like a model of something in the invisible and intimate void separating one from her only for the duration of the entertainment, which turned heartfelt stress into such storyteller’s speed, sweep, and volume that all one spent one saved, and a beautiful hand, a girl’s strong hand, a father’s empty hand to grip at a distance, a mother’s rule of thumb were one that put together such amazing tales by wielding a modulus, an elastic modulus of common ground between the change that stress gives a body’s volume and the velocity of circulating money which Rail could make circulate—blood money—circulate through all the curving continents of a globe that is believed but not seen except by the unseeing totals of that blood which one has paid and might again to unclench one’s parents from what’s bigger than the both of them, the ruling junta of their Open Marriage.
"Larry ought to get laid"—the word issues from the junta like a bulletin, like the ring of a bell telephone, like a parent, like a digital stat. A breach of their own open laissez-faire, for justice sake! But who said it? The junta en conjunto? Or one’s own congruence waiting elsewhere like an Unknown Soldier? Or a Buenos Aires cab’s exhaust pipe? an exhaust pipe which James Mayn was once invited to screw, having asked a man on the street where he could coger (catch) a cab when Argentine coger means something else also. Or did those words "Larry ought to get laid" come from the right or creative side of Amy’s beautiful mind dropped out of college and learning her living in the air force of the employed? Or did the words "Larry ought to get laid" come from the grin and nod on the far side of the eighteenth green of an IBM golf course—not exactly one’s favorite game—after one has said, "No, you go ahead, Dad," who might smile at home after the aforementioned words "Larry ought to get laid" and almost but not quite bring himself to say, "Leave him alone—he’s not indifferent to sex." Or (yes?) did the words "Larry ought to get laid" originate somewhere in the anger (yes?) jumping from an unexpected level of what proves to be the next room in spring twilight in what used to be one’s only home when one (one then tends to forget what it was that one) said, " ‘There any eggs, Ma?"—a question, a query, a fair question (yes?), a fairly clear question, not a queer query, not a demand, but oh an error, a dumb error that multiplies the more one thinks, for she wants us to let her be, for at the moment that one asks, " ‘There any eggs, Ma?" she is standing on her head doing the sunset naked and looking just as young as some of her seems more upside down than the rest of her, for "Look, Larry" she has had (O.K., O.K.) and out of a ("Larry, you’re living in a—") vacuum she has been addressed by her son as not-Susan, an address she has changed in her head and will soon change in fact so the future can come true, though for these uneconomical months she’s living at the old address, a
nd Dad’s the one in Manhattan though as he has said (when a third party asks), "I come and go and so does Sue"—which is what in this future night at a Manhattan roll-top desk open to laissez-faire one hears her doing, coming and going, speaking on the phone to the Unknown Date whom Dad has answered the phone call from though one oneself, twisting or rising or shaking free of this domestic freakdom (yet not free), still hears with mixed feeling above the fractions and equalities of Rail’s extra-credit problem, in which hunting for the investment multiplier that makes a drop in the nation’s bucket expand like liquid oxygen in the vacuum of space one kept backsliding down the more than forty-five-degree slope of the Marginal Propensity to Consume because one could not get hold of why Rail called MPC and Marginal Propensity to Save "mirror twins" when they were so unlike each other, the female voice of Amy now doubtless home from the foundation asking whatever she likes to ask—anything, Amy, anything, my constant heart, mi corazon, my hot Hispanic hand—the name and address of the man (Mayn) you saw me with who—genius that Mayn is beyond that inkling one has that he has been here before and has seen it all happen that’s now happening to one— has two extra tickets for the game, not just one extra, and so Mayn will be going with one and Amy.
Women and Men Page 46
