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High Desert Barbecue

Page 20

by J. D. Tuccille


  Lani and Scott studiously refrained from commenting on the glasses perched on their friend’s nose—a heroic effort, considering their sturdy frames and the frequency with which he fussed with them.

  “He was a good dog,” Lani insisted.

  “No disagreement here,” Scott said. He took off his jacket and draped it over Lani’s shoulders. “He was the best.”

  Rollo grunted assent and bent down for a closer look at the object of their scrutiny.

  Rendered in bronze by an artist friend of Lani and Scott, within feet of the trailhead itself, was a sculpture of Champ. Lifelike, even if his head was a bit more square than Lani liked, bronze Champ grinned and had his leg raised to pee on an equally metallic ranger hat.

  The money for the sculpture had been raised by private subscription. The Forest Service consented to its placement, and even sent an official to attend the unveiling, only under the duress resulting from the significant public good will enjoyed by Scott, Lani and Rollo after their misadventure.

  Which is to say, the dust of the official’s exit from the unveiling party was still settling over the assembled attendees.

  That duress hadn’t been hard to come by. The shit storm that Scott had so fervently wished for that day in Sycamore Canyon, many months earlier, had quickly brewed.

  And events … well … events were moving along in sometimes strange ways.

  “Hey Lani! Guys!”

  The trio turned to greet Bill and Emma.

  “So … ” Bill tried—unsuccessfully—to suppress a smirk. “I just want to thank you folks for sparing us from a dastardly drug conspiracy.”

  Emma jabbed him in the ribs.

  “That’s not funny, dear. Not everybody appreciates your sense of humor.”

  Scott smiled and shrugged.

  “That’s what the feds have decided. And who are we to contradict them? Especially with the potential for some very interesting felony charges hanging over our heads if we object to our new status as heroes against … sigh … narco-terrorism.”

  Bill nodded.

  “Yeah. I’m sorry about that. Speaking of felony charges … That Ray fellow—the one you tagged in the butt—looks to be facing the most time in prison. Because of the dope they found on him, they’ve tapped him and the dead guy as some sort of drug kingpins in charge of a marijuana-growing operation.”

  Rollo suddenly began staring at the clouds.

  “The feds insist he planned on burning down Williams and Flagstaff, maybe to make room for a huge marijuana plantation,” Bill continued. “They aren’t too clear on that point.”

  “Doesn’t matter if it’s clear or even if it makes sense,” Scott said. “It’ll be a long time before he sees the light of day again.”

  “The only person sticking by him is that stocky girl,” Emma chimed in. “I don’t remember her name.”

  Scott snorted as he recalled Rena.

  “She’s facing charges herself, though, and I don’t think her talk of a mammalian conspiracy is doing him any good.”

  He grimaced.

  “Not that I give a damn. After what we went through, anything—” He placed his hand on Rollo’s shoulder and looked around to make sure none of the other scattered unveiling attendees were too close. “Anything that puts them away is fine by me. Even really smelly ditch weed planted in a psycho’s backpack by my buddy in a burst of inspiration.”

  “It wasn’t ditch weed,” Rollo protested. “It was just old.”

  “It stank.”

  Rollo rolled his eyes.

  Bill sighed.

  “Yeah, but we could use that weird little tree-hugger couple. That video we took went viral.” He put his arm around Emma. “I am so glad that my better half always carries a couple of release forms with her. When those two get out, they’ll have some money waiting for them.”

  Emma smiled.

  “We’ve build a whole new Website around eco-erotica. It’s doing very well.” She glanced at Lani and Scott. “We’re always looking for new performers.”

  “I’m very happy for you,” Lani said, a bit abruptly. “Good luck with that!”

  “Maybe if I lost some weight…?,” Rollo ventured.

  Bill just shook his head.

  “Of course,” said Rollo, returning to the main topic. “We never touched the bigwigs.”

  “That floral supremacy freak is still on the loose,” said Lani.

  Scott shrugged.

  “The last I saw of him, he was racing into the desert as fast as his legs could take him. But I suppose he had to stop some time. And I doubt he’s any less crazy for the experience.”

  “Nope,” added Scott. “And that Forest Service guy Ray told us about … Van Kamp? He’s doing just fine as head of the investigation into the drug plot.” He made scare quotes in the air with his fingers at the mention of the supposed narcotics conspiracy.

  “Let’s not forget,” answered Bill. “He’s bringing in experts from the timber industry to help manage the public lands while he gets to the bottom of the drug plot.” He slapped his thigh. “You know somebody is making a killing on that little scam.”

  Lani grabbed Scott’s right arm and raised it in the air.

  “Honey …” Scott cautioned.

  “Oh, tell them,” she chirped, releasing his arm.

  Scott shrugged.

  “I sort of figured the feds would find a way to grease their buddies’ palms, and their own, with this situation. Why let a serious crisis go to waste, right? So I took a chance and put my remaining money into stocks.” He spread his hands. “I figured it would be either mining or timber. I bet on timber.”

  Emma chuckled and shook her head.

  “Hey, if I’m going to be screwed, I want to get paid.”

  “You know we don’t disagree, son,” said Bill.

  There was silence for a long moment. Then Rollo leaned forward.

  “Remember that day we met?”

  Scott nodded.

  “We have a lot more tires to slash.”

  Chapter 78

  In the grass, not too far from the trailhead, Rupert Greenfield lay prone, watching the proceedings through his binoculars and grinding his teeth in a rhythmic motion.

  “Dog lovers!,” he snarled. “I hate dog lovers.”

  He turned to his companion, sprawled near him and poking listlessly in the dirt.

  “We’re not done, you know. The plants still need us. We have a lot of work to do.”

  “I know.”

  Greenfield returned to peering through his binoculars. His jaws continued to work.

  “We need to gather more of the old crew. You get on that.”

  “OK.”

  “And, Happy, I need more supplies. I’m running out of everything out here.”

  “Henry.”

  “What?”

  “Not Happy. Just Henry.”

  “Whatever. Just make sure you get me a hat and some jerky.”

  About the Author

  J.D. Tuccille’s provocative and often witty columns on hotly debated topics including the environment, land use and forest management have appeared in publications including the Arizona Republic, the Denver Post, the Providence Journal and the Washington Times. The former editor of a popular civil liberties website, Tuccille has commented on current issues on both television and radio, and has been quoted saying unkind things about politicians and government policies in the pages of the New York Times, Salon and other publications.

  Tuccille is an enthusiastic explorer of the American Southwest’s deserts, mountains and forests. He lives in rural northern Arizona with his wife, Wendy, a pediatrician, their son, Anthony, and their two dogs.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 1
1

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Chapter 66

  Chapter 67

  Chapter 68

  Chapter 69

  Chapter 70

  Chapter 71

  Chapter 72

  Chapter 73

  Chapter 74

  Chapter 75

  Chapter 76

  Chapter 77

  Chapter 78

 

 

 


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