“Doctor, is my daughter going to die?”
“I can’t answer that, sir. I can tell you, that statistically speaking, the odds of brain damage are high for cases like this, when the cardiopulmonary and respiratory systems have been sufficiently compromised. We’ll know more with respect to neurological response if she makes it through the next twenty-four hours. She’s being transferred to Neuro-pediatric-ICU, and you’ll be able to see her once she’s there. Can you give me any information as to what happened? Does your daughter have a history of heart problems?”
“No, no. Her heart’s fine. I don’t understand how this could happen. She’s always been a healthy child."
“Angela, you need to tell him about the drugs," Jake said.
The doctor spoke. “Was your daughter on medication?”
Steve shook his head and I interrupted. “Apparently she took some pills earlier today.” As I finished, Brennan walked in with a bag in his hand. I took it from him and handed it to the doctor. “I’m not sure which of these she took or even how many, but this is where they came from.”
Dr. Steinham looked at the boys. “What are these?"
The little snot ignored him, proving to be a bigger shit than I’d imagined, but Brennan manned up and answered. “Uh, I don’t know, man. We just had a bunch of these and she took them. I don’t even know how many she took. I was like, having fun and all, not paying attention, you know?”
The doctor shook his head. “Excuse me for a moment, please,” He walked over to the reception desk, gave the attendant the pills, talked with her briefly and came back to us as she went through a closed door behind her.
“We’re going to pump your daughter’s stomach and run tests to determine what pills she took. The police are being notified and will be here shortly.” He spoke to the kids. “Now might be a good time for you three to call your parents.” Emily moved to her dad and clung to him.
Dr. Steinham focused on Chris and Steve. “Once she’s settled into Neuro-pediatric-ICU, Kimmie, the nurse at the desk, will tell you where you can go to see your daughter.”
They nodded and the doctor left.
We all sat in shock. The snotty kid was the only one to stay standing and by the grace of God, his voice suddenly returned. Well, I’m outta here.”
Some innate maternal sense took over and without realizing it I was instantly out of my seat, pissed off, and ready to beat the living daylights out of this kid. I stood right in front of him and blocked his way. “Sit down Kyle or I’ll sit you down myself.”
He didn’t move.
Who’s raising these disrespectful kids? “Listen, you little snot.” I straightened my whole five foot two frame and pointed my finger right in his smug little face. “That little girl in there might die, so if you think you’re just gonna walk out of here with no accountability, you’re sorely mistaken. Now sit the hell down before I do something I won’t regret.”
He sat.
Ma would be proud.
Emily started to bawl those guttural sobs, the kind that make a mother’s heart clench so tight it might stop. I felt her pain within my bones. Jake and I shared a look and he shifted his stance toward the boys, while I grabbed hold of Emily and took her to the other side of the room.
I hugged her tightly and spoke softly. “Emily, I need to know if you took any of those pills. If you did, I promise I won’t be mad. Just tell me the truth so we can get you looked at by a doctor.”
“I didn’t, Mom. I promise.”
Relief filled me and I wanted to scream in delight. I hugged her tighter. “I am so proud of you, Em. So, so proud.”
“How do you know about the parties, Mom?”
“We’ll talk about that later, kiddo. For now, let’s just send good thoughts to Taylor. She really needs them right now. We need to pray for her.”
“Is she gonna die?”
I hugged her again and didn’t want to let go. “I don’t know, honey. I just don’t know.”
###
The police came, asked a lot of questions, took a lot of information and left with the boys, whose parents were called but weren’t reached. I will admit I felt a great sense of satisfaction watching the little snot walk out the door with two cops behind him. He probably had a tough time at home but I wasn’t capable of giving a crap at that moment so I didn’t feel bad.
They spoke with Emily for at least thirty minutes and I was relieved they didn’t make her go with them, too. They made us promise she’d be available if they needed additional information.
Emily wanted to stay the night at the hospital and I told her I’d stay too. Jake called Mel and told her he would pick up Josh, said goodbye to Taylor’s parents, hugged us and left.
Kimmie, the nurse at the desk, told us where to go and we all moved up to the Neuro-pediatric-ICU waiting area, a room with a few couches and vending machines. The room was empty except for us. Jake called to check in, and I suggested he bring Taylor’s parents a few items from their house in the morning. I talked with Chris, but she could barely think, so Steve listed things they might need. Jake promised to let their dogs out and talk with their neighbor about feeding them and letting them out again later. Emily asked her dad to bring her stuffed bear, Georgie. She thought it would make Taylor feel better to have it with her. I remembered Ma’s comment about Taylor making fun of the bear and felt a little guilty for thinking nasty thoughts about the girl lately. After all, she was just a kid and the teenage years were tough on everyone.
###
Taylor’s parents stayed with their daughter while Emily and I waited in the waiting room. Exhaustion finally hit Chris, with the help of a sleeping pill from the doctor, and she and Steve came back and rested on the couches in the waiting room with us. Within minutes they were both asleep. Emily quickly followed, but I felt wired and couldn’t shut my eyes. My body wanted to sleep, but my brain wouldn’t cooperate.
I couldn’t stop thinking about how this could have just as easily been Emily. I was the most selfish person I knew. I sat in this hospital where a little girl, only fifteen years old and with so much life ahead of her, was in a coma and I was thinking about my daughter, and praying thanks to God that this hadn’t happened to her. Maybe every mother would do that, but that didn’t make me feel any less selfish.
I eyed the coffee machine and searched my purse for coins. It wasn’t Starbucks, but I had a craving and beggars can’t be choosers. I dropped the four quarters into the slot and watched the cup drop and dark liquid begin to fill it. It didn’t actually look like coffee and it sure didn’t smell like coffee but I would drink it anyway. I watched the machine add something it called creamer and when it finished, I took it and turned to go back to my seat. That’s when I saw her. Wearing cut off blue jeans and a bikini top, with a vibrant bright light surrounding her, was Taylor. “Oh no." She turned and nodded.
“Taylor, honey, no. Please, God, no.”
She smiled at her parents as they slept. “Please tell them I’m sorry and that I love them.” She floated over to Emily. “And Em, she was right. I shouldn't have taken those pills, Mrs. Panther. Tell her that please, and tell her we’ll be BFFs forever.”
Her eyes shifted upward. “I’m going with my grandma now.”
And then she turned all white and bright and was gone.
Seconds later a man in a white coat entered the room. He approached Taylor’s parents.
“Please, let me." I bent down and carefully nudged Steve. “Steve, the doctor is here.”
He sat upright. “Taylor. Is Taylor okay?”
The doctor frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry. Taylor went into full cardiac arrest. We did everything we could to get her heart started again, but the damage was irreversible. I’m sorry. You may see her, if you’d like.”
Steve shook his wife.
“Is Taylor okay?”
Steve shook his head and Chris cried.
Emily woke up. I shook my head, hoping she would understand. She rushed up to m
e and I held my crying but living daughter, while the doctor led Taylor’s sobbing parents to their dead daughter. I was both relieved and distraught.
“She can’t be dead. She can’t be,” Emily cried.
“Honey, I’m so sorry. The doctor said her heart stopped and there was nothing they could do.” I held my daughter and thanked God that she was safe in my arms, and I didn’t feel bad for feeling that way at all.
Chapter Twenty
We spent the next several days on autopilot. To say Em was distraught was an understatement. She did nothing but sleep and cry. I tried to get her to eat, even made her favorite homemade macaroni and cheese with bread crumbs, but she wouldn’t touch it. Jake finally resorted to chocolate shakes with a scoop of protein powder and small bottles of baby food mixed in. She forced a few of those down and thankfully she didn’t notice the special recipe. I’ll definitely use that trick again.
I worked hard at being supportive, but didn’t pressure Em to talk. I hoped she’d feel comfortable coming to me when she was ready. If not, Jake and I had already decided we’d get her into counseling.
Ma stayed in Emily’s room with her most of the time. I hoped Emily could feel the love I knew Ma felt toward her. My mother was an incredibly loyal woman, even in death.
The doctors prescribed Valium for Chris, but she still spent most of her time crying, while Steve channeled his grief into hard physical labor. He removed four walls of their expertly finished basement, saying he wanted one big room where everyone could be together instead of smaller, more private spaces. He took the doors off both the master bedroom and his son Stevie’s bedroom, too. My guess is he didn’t want his kid out of his sight and I understood. How does one recover from the loss of a child? I don’t think they do.
Chris’s parents were staying with them and planning the funeral because their own children were too lost in their grief to even consider putting their daughter in the ground.
###
The community banded together,. They set up a FaceBook page to remember Taylor and scheduled meals for her family. They had so many casseroles, cobblers and loaves of bread, Chris’s parents made us take some home. I admit I had been eyeing the key lime pie and didn’t argue when they offered it to me. Yeah, I felt guilty about that.
The police did nothing to Brennan and the little snot. Based on what they believed to have happened, most of their facts coming from Emily which admittedly, caused concern for me, they felt Taylor wasn’t forced to take the pills, that she did so of her own choosing. Since there was no way to prove where the pills actually came from, and Emily said she didn’t know who physically brought them to the pool, each boy was given a slap on the wrist and a strong warning to straighten up because they were being watched. Steve was angry, and rightfully so. We all knew that if Taylor hadn’t liked Brennan, it’s unlikely she would have felt any self imposed pressure to take the pills and would still be alive today. Unfortunately no one could prove that.
No one understands how helpless parents feel when their child dies. Watching Steve lose it and attack the police officer when he explained no charges would be filed against the boys made me realize there was a depth to the pain no parent with living children could even begin to reach. Steve was lucky the officer didn’t press charges but if he had, I’m not sure Steve would have cared. He was lost inside himself, the grief having taken hold of his heart and his head like a drug of its own.
Two local newspapers interviewed Taylor’s parents and several of her teachers. Everyone said Taylor was a fantastic kid with a bright future. No one mentioned how she treated Em like cow dung for several months, and while I understand the world seemed to make the dead appear saint-like, the protective mother in me felt the urge to speak up but I didn’t. No matter how tragic the situation, I continued to feel selfishly grateful it wasn’t my child, and slightly snotty that Em was left with an imperfect memory of someone she cared for so deeply. Mommy claws weren’t always controllable.
Chapter Twenty-one
The day of the wake, Jake and I stopped by Taylor’s house to see what we could do to help. They walked through their house like robots, and in my heart, I wasn’t sure Chris would recover. I hadn’t told them about the message from Taylor. I hadn’t even told Jake, but watching Chris stoned on Valium, almost zombie-like, I felt I should. I didn’t know how they would react or what they’d think, but I needed to do right by Taylor, and do my best to help her grieving parents.
I wished I’d had the chance to run this by Mel or Jake or even Ma, but the past few days, even though they felt like an eternity, had gone by so quickly, I hadn’t had a chance. I hoped the time moved as quickly for Chris and Steve, too.
I decided if I was going to do it, I’d better do it before I lost the nerve. I approached them and asked them to sit with me outside.
“What’s going on?” Steve asked. “Is there more information about what happened?”
I shook my head. “I need to tell you something, but I’m not really sure how to do it."
Chris stared at me, her eyes cloudy and sad. “What is it?”
I took a deep breath and spoke softly. “Taylor wanted you to know how sorry she was,” I told them.
Chris cried, and honestly, I’m not sure she even heard me, but Steve, he did. “What do you mean?”
“Steve, Chris, I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’ve talked to Taylor and she wants you to know she’s sorry and she loves you.”
Steve bowed up and came up close to me. Jake was in the kitchen and saw through the door. He stepped out, moving Steve gently out of my personal space.
“Steve, listen to my wife.”
“It’s okay. Steve, this is really hard for me to say, and probably harder for you to hear, and you can decide to believe it or not, but all I ask is that you listen to me. Can you do that?”
He nodded and Chris wiped her nose with a tissue.
I took another deep breath. “Okay, you both know that my mother died recently. Well, on the night she died, I saw her, and since then, I’ve seen her spirit many times, and have talked to her too. And it’s not just her I see now. I’ve seen other spirits, other people who have passed, and I saw Taylor.”
Steve shook his head and Chris cried.
“Steve, before the doctor came in to tell you she was gone, she was in the room with us. I saw her standing next to you. She told me to tell you that she was sorry, and that she loved you. And she told me to tell Emily she was right, that she shouldn’t have taken the pills. Then she told me she was going with her grandma and she was gone, but she was okay. She was smiling.”
Steve looked away, his expression one of disbelief and frustration, but Chris seemed to believe me. She stopped crying. “Is she here now?”
I stilled for a minute, trying to see if I could recognize any of the signs Linda taught me to look for. “No, I don’t think so.”
Steve bowed up his chest and attacked me. “Angela, what the hell are you doing? You see ghosts? That’s a bunch of bullshit and you know it.”
I stepped back and prepared to respond, but Jake was on Steve like white on rice.
“Listen, Steve, I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy but I know my wife and I’ve seen what she can do. She’s the real thing, so calm down and let her speak. She’s trying to help you.”
“Honey, it’s okay.” I motioned for Jake to move away and he did, but the look on his face showed me he was still on guard and I appreciated that.
Steve didn’t say a thing, but Chris did, and when she spoke, I saw a touch of light in her eyes. “Angela, do you think you can talk to her? Maybe if you talk to her, she’ll come back? I talk to her all of the time, but I don’t feel her. I just want to make sure she’s okay. Please, Angela, can you try?”
I shuffled my feet. “Um, I’ve never done that before, but yeah, sure. I can try.” I looked over at Steve who just stared at me. “You going to be okay with this?”
&nb
sp; He nodded curtly.
Even though I didn’t have a clue what to do, I closed my eyes and focused as hard as I could on Taylor. I forced myself to create an image of her in the clothes she wore the day she died, and the harder I tried, the clearer the image became. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I felt a cold brush of wind sweep over me. “Taylor."
“Tell them I’m here."
I opened my eyes and there she was, standing between her parents, a soft white glow surrounding her.
“It worked. She’s here.”
I could tell Jake heard the excitement in my voice but he kept quiet.
Both Chris and Steve stared. “Where,” Steve asked.
“She’s standing in between the two of you.” I glanced at Taylor, still wearing the same clothes she had on at the hospital and made a mental note to try to die in something comfortable, yet classy. I knew it wasn’t the first time I’d thought that too.
Her mother spoke. “Taylor, baby. Are you okay?” She started to cry.
Taylor smiled at me. “I’m fine. Tell her I’m fine and it’s beautiful there. I’m with Grandma and Grandpa. And Max. Tell my mom that Max is there, too.”
I repeated Taylor’s words. She fell back into Steve, whose eyes teared. “Max was Chris’s dog. He died over twenty years ago,” he said.
“Mrs. Panther, can you tell my daddy that I’m okay? He doesn’t have to change the house anymore. Stevie isn’t going do the things I did. He’ll be okay. Tell him not to worry.”
I told Steve and watched as his face softened. “I just thought if I took away all of the doors and made the space more open, I could watch over him. I can’t lose him, too.”
Taylor smiled at me. “Tell him he’s not going to. Stevie is going to grow up and live a long, happy life. Tell him I’m sorry for disappointing him. I just wanted to fit in, to be popular, but I should have been more like Emily. She never lets anyone pressure her.”
Unfinished Business An Angela Panther Novel (A Chick-lit Paranormal book) (The Angela Panther Series) Page 21
