by Judy Allen
I usually like to get up early enough to take a few moments for myself by the ocean whenever I am staying at a beachfront location. To me, watching the sunrise, taking a dip or doing yoga by the water is one of my favorite perks of the job. After that, I was off to shower, change into “work” clothes and get ready to meet Dee Dee for coffee before we started our rounds. I wouldn’t dream of running around in a bathing suit or yoga wear once clients or even hotel staff are up and about. If trip directors have scheduled time off during the day, arrangements are made for them to use another’s hotel’s beach and pool facilities. It’s just better to maintain a polished, professional look around guests and hotel employees at all times. Lounging around the hotel pool or on the beach in a bikini or even a more conservative bathing suit sends the wrong message even if it is on my off time.
Breakfast ready to go. Check.
Meeting room set up as requested. Check.
Audiovisual working. Check.
Dee Dee is overseeing breakfast and the other program directors are at the hospitality desk ready to answer any questions the corporate heads or their guests may have. They will also call—should it be necessary—the rooms of any missing attendees who don’t get up for breakfast to make sure they’re on their way. I hope everyone answers their phone so we don’t have to send hotel staff to check on them.
Today will actually be pretty light. The guys will have breakfast and be in meetings most of the day. They’ll break for mid-morning refreshments and a barbecue lunch, but each time they’ll immediately head back into the meeting room. Only sweet tea, lemonade and sodas will be served with lunch. Against my reservations, the corporate hospitality suite will open once the meeting is finished and then it’s off for a night on the town as a group. This is party night and the corporate execs want them wound up from the moment the meeting lets out. I am certain it is going to be a very long and very late night.
The guys are starting to surface and many of them look a little worse for wear. Too much sun, too much drinking and too little sleep will do it every time. They are very subdued right now—nothing like the group that arrived. But experience has taught us they will bounce back and often with a vengeance. I’ve asked Dee Dee to monitor the meeting room to make sure that it doesn’t get too warm. Better to have it a touch on the cooler side so no one drifts off to sleep during the session and their attention will not be as likely to wander. The hospitality desk has been positioned in a way that attendees will not be tempted to slip out and ditch staying for the full meeting once it has started. It happens. One client, at their tropical getaway, had one of their staff assigned to beach duty to make sure they redirected any lost souls from their group that “mistook” the beach or the pool as the meeting venue, and the golf course was instructed not to accept any requests for tee-off times from any of their attendees when meetings were taking place. As with most out-of-town and out-of-country meetings that are both business and pleasure, there are tax implications, and companies work hard to make sure that all rules and regulations are met. Records are kept to make sure all is adhered to—and truth be known. some are real and others are fictional.
Some of the stories you hear about the goings-on in this industry never fail to surprise you. One company booked meeting rooms, equipment, breaks and lunches and paid for them, but they were only meetings scheduled for the “books,” not for real. Unfortunately for them, they also scheduled a golf tournament and private events to take place at the same time as the supposed meetings, leaving a paper trial that could not be denied. Not a smart move. And asking the hotel and others involved to look the other way placed suppliers in a difficult position and crossed ethical boundaries big time. This is the time I’d lay all my cards on the table and walk away. I’d much rather a client who assigns beach patrol duty. They mean business and not monkey business. But while they work hard when they are away, they also party hard. I’m pretty sure this is what this group will turn out to be like. My team and I are prepared for anything to happen. These guys, while they are dragging their tails right now, are high spirited because of the nature of their work and the type of personality that sales attracts, and they will be flying high by the end of their stay.
Coffee breaks and lunch went without incident. And the corporate execs met me halfway regarding the afternoon hospitality suite—bartenders were brought in to maintain some semblance of liquor control. I knew there’d be a lot of drinking going on tonight and I wanted them in relatively good shape before we set out. The extra local staff we have on-site tonight are all men that look like they can handle themselves and anything else that may be thrown at them. They’ll be there until the very last guest returns to the hotel, to lend a hand if anyone has more alcohol than they can manage.
And then we were off. Or at least they’re off. Dee Dee and I were one step ahead of them, advancing tonight’s progressive dinner and drinks party and in constant touch with the rest of our crew via cell phones, PDAs and walkie-talkies. Open-air trains and “go cups” with their choice of alcoholic or non-alcoholic beverage were waiting for the group at the front of the hotel, setting the energy vibe for the evening ahead. The first stop on the route was “sunset celebrations and libations” at a pier made popular for its spectacular sunsets. Private vendors were set up just for the group, with finger food appetizers and drinks for the guys to enjoy while they watched the nightly salute to the sun take place amid musicians, jugglers and street performers. Then it was back on board to the next stop, which was a great seafood and steak restaurant right on the water that’s known for its cuisine and fun atmosphere. Tonight the restaurant belonged to the group. As part of the restaurant’s seafood display offerings, a live mermaid was sitting among the seafood specialties. I saw that as a potential red flag and assigned Dee Dee to keep a close eye on Ms. Mermaid, even though the owner assured us that no one before had ever made improper advances or given her a difficult time.
You could hear the guys coming before you even saw the open-air train rounding the corner. The early afternoon drinks followed by the “go cups” and sunset drinks had kicked in. Everyone was in great spirits but they’d settled in nicely. Some were placing their food and drink orders and some were helping themselves to the seafood buffet, when uh-oh—they finally discovered the live mermaid and just as I thought, they decided to have some fun. Mr. Instigator decided that it was their duty to set her free and release her back to the ocean and rallied his buddies to come help, which they quickly did. You could see that Ms. Mermaid was getting a little anxious and so was the owner—he finally saw what we had been saying. The distance between where Ms. Mermaid was draped along the table and the drop into the ocean was only a few feet, and with her heavy mermaid tail she would’ve quickly sunk, not swam away. Dee Dee, some of the male staff members and I were positioned to react quickly and make sure no actual physical harm came to her. We diffused the situation before it escalated to the next level. The advance team then headed off to make sure that everything was ready and waiting at the next progressive stop for local dessert specialties and coffee.
After dessert it was time to hit the bars, including Sloppy Joe’s, which has long been associated with Ernest Hemingway, and the Green Parrot, an internationally known bar and a local landmark since 1890. We used this opportunity to introduce the group to a couple of bars they would enjoy if they returned to town on their own or again as a group of 50 guys. We are in a very liberal destination with a live-and-let-live social society and you’ll find a mixture of gay and non-gay bars, so we’d researched the best of both during our advance preparations. We’d prepared a list with recommendations for distribution among the guys. Of course, the places where women have been known to leave their inhibitions behind along with their bras and where regulars dance with abandon on tabletops may have been “accidentally” left off the list. We hadn’t lost sight of the temptation to smuggle some newfound friends back to the hotel to enjoy the in-room Jacuzzis!
Suddenly—oh my—Mr. Instigat
or picked up Dee Dee from behind and spun her around over his head, just narrowly missing the ceiling fan. The corporate execs standing nearby laughed at his antics but quickly ordered him to put her down before we moved in.
A conch train stood by to head back to the hotel with anyone wanting to return early. Not surprisingly the conch train sat empty; no one was ready to call it a night or no one wanted to be seen as the first one to head back to the hotel. The private conch shuttles were scheduled to operate until the bars closed. The group was now on their own with the exception of the local staff, two members of our team and Dee Dee, who would stay till the end. After this point there was no way of really keeping track of who was coming and going. Some will catch a cab on their own and head back when they are ready or take off for parts unknown, returning to the hotel just in time for breakfast. Hopefully, they won’t do too much damage to themselves or the town. The rest of the team and I headed back in case anything at the hotel required our attention. For us the night was still very young as much as we might long for bed. The evening so far had been a success. Both the corporate execs and guys were pleased. They got to drink in the sights while drinking in public, take part in a famous sunset ritual and sample local cuisine and the bars. Good times.
It’s 1:00 a.m. Some of the group are starting to roll in. A few are not too steady on their feet but they seem to be taking care of one another. One was very embarrassed and belligerent but his buddies were calming him down. Apparently, Mr. Instigator thought it would be fun not to let him into the men’s room at the bar and he had an accident times two. Dee Dee had let us know what had taken place so we knew what to expect. He had been threatening bodily harm to all that took part in the “prank.” One of the men on our staff discreetly offered to have his pants taken away and cleaned with no one the wiser. In expressing his gratitude he burst into tears. He didn’t want to bring them home in that condition and have to explain what happened to his family, he said as he flipped open his wallet to show us pictures of his wife and kids. He had been feeling diminished in front of his colleagues and worried that he would become the joke of the office. Thankfully, the friends he had made on the trip had not abandoned him and were not making him feel worse than he already did. Chances are by the end of this week this particular incident will be long forgotten.
It’s 2:00 a.m. now. Dee Dee and the rest of the team are back but not all of the guys have returned. Dee Dee caught me up on the goings-on after I left and we discussed the number of women that had ended up hanging around and physically off the men. They had to stop more than a few of them from climbing aboard the conch train and returning back to the hotel with the guys who wanted to party, roommate or not, married or not. Then I updated her on Mr. Pranked. We decided that there was not much more we could do right now with regard to those who hadn’t come back yet, so it was time for us to head to our beds to catch some sleep if we could.
3:05 a.m. Rinngggggggggg. It was the night manager suggesting I come down to handle some situations. I asked if I needed reinforcements and he suggested that it would be a good thing. I called Dee Dee’s room and then quickly dressed to scope out what had taken place.
Pool party!!! Ah yes. And with a number of the girls that the guys had picked up at the bars. The guys had broken into the corporate hospitality suite and grabbed some drinks. Bottles were everywhere, as were articles of clothing. Naked pool party!!! Dee Dee happened upon Mr. Instigator about to pour bubble bath into the pool and quickly confiscated it. Hotel security had been summoned as well and were successfully getting both guests and non-guests out of the pool and into their clothes. The visitors had been “smuggled” onto the property with the hotel staff none the wiser—or looking the other way (in the manner of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”)—until the impromptu pool party broke out and something had to be done as other hotel guests were getting annoyed. Chastened and expressing fake remorse, the guys took off to their rooms and cabs were called for the rest, but not before telephone numbers and the like were exchanged.
With the hotel staff capably dealing with the pool cleanup, restoring order to the corporate hospitality suite—it would be restocked tomorrow—and calculating the extra charges to be added to the master account, Dee Dee and I said our thank-yous and headed for bed again to grab another hour or so of sleep. For the moment, all seems quiet but we aren’t about to let down our guard. I am sure we both fell asleep with one ear open, waiting for the telephone to summon us again.
DECEMBER 15
This morning, the corporate execs laughed at the antics of “their boys.” We didn’t discuss the specifics of what took place with Mr. Pranked. He didn’t want to be shamed in front of his company heads and had asked us not to make his name known and tell them exactly what transpired unless it was absolutely necessary. If we did, we assured him, it would be done with the utmost of discretion and he was not to worry.
The company heads knew there were other incidents that had transpired but at the moment all was under control and they said they preferred to be on a “need to know” basis. If they did not have to bail someone out of jail or take someone to the hospital, they really wanted the guys to have a good time without being reported on or knowing exactly what took place. We did need to make them aware of the happenings at the pool and the hospitality suite break-in—without naming names, as per their request—because extra charges were going to be showing up on the final reconciliation. How, or if, they choose to address this with their staff is entirely up to them. But what they did want was everyone present and accounted for at their meeting, regardless of how rough they felt or how late they got in last night. Dee Dee said it would be her pleasure to personally call those who were missing and make sure they were on time, with a sweet “don’t ask me how but I can assure you they will be there.” Of that I had no doubt. I felt that she would have a special wake-up call—with my blessing—arranged for Mr. Instigator, who had still not shown up.
By 9:00 a.m., everyone was present and thankfully accounted for. Missing luggage you can deal with; missing people is an entirely different matter. There was one guy who made it just in the nick of time, his ride pulling up in front at 8:55. He had no choice but to go into the morning meeting wearing the same clothes he had on last night and smelling pretty raunchy. He got a much-deserved ribbing from his peers. It doesn’t hurt for them to get a reminder from their colleagues that this is a business event and not a pleasure trip, even if their own behavior has not been exemplary.
Today is basically a repeat of yesterday: a full day of meetings, coffee breaks, lunch and then off to the hospitality suite for a few drinks before heading out for the night. Dinner tonight will be their awards presentation, which is being held off-property in an upscale setting. Traditionally, their awards dinner has been held on the last night but they have something special planned for tomorrow as a surprise, and the corporate execs wanted to have their stay end with fun not formality this time around.
Tonight’s restaurant had been chosen before the corporate execs knew that it would be an all-male group that would qualify. The company heads loved the setting and didn’t want to change it when the group demographics were known. Their private room was in a courtyard built around a gorgeous swimming pool and everything was pink on pink. The entire area was filled with tropical plants and flowers, with a white baby grand off in one corner. The atmosphere was pretty, pink and feminine enough to extinguish a cigar. After the first night, with the guys wanting to reunite the mermaid with the ocean, and last night’s swimming pool escapades, the thought of this group around more water was not calming. Visions of waiters or participants themselves taking a dip in the pool are running through our heads.
After cocktails, dinner, drinks, dessert and awards the guys will be free to return to the resort or stay in town and catch one of the private shuttles and return at their leisure. It’s a safe good bet that after a day of sitting in meetings and through dinner and speeches, these guys will be staying to play.
Dinner and the awards went without a hitch. There was good-natured back-and-forth between the guys but that was pretty much it. Either they were still tired from last night or saving their energy for something good tonight. With all the whispering going on I suspected we would be in for quite a night. This good behavior was just for show, of that we were pretty certain, having been there and experienced the like many times before.
Once again, no one chose to return home early and after their event was over, we bid them goodnight. It was time for us to grab dinner. I had made reservations for us at a new restaurant on their upstairs patio. We would be out of sight but still close by if any of the staff assigned to wait with the return shuttles needed us.
It was the first time since the group arrived that we were able to sit together and relax for the moment. This was also the perfect opportunity for us to review what still needed to be done before tomorrow. In order to keep the element of surprise, setup can’t begin until early morning and everyone has a part to play in its success.
But alas, so much for out of sight. Apparently from down below we were visible. The guys en route to another bar, obviously after a couple more drinks, had spotted Dee Dee and gathered in the street loudly chanting her name, wanting her to come down and play with them. Laughingly she shook her head no and said she would see them in the morning. They finally moved on and we finished our dinner and headed back to the hotel to see what awaited us.
