by Judy Allen
In this business you have to be very careful not to do anything that will lay you down for the count. You can feel ill from unfamiliar or extremely rich food or from overindulgence from too much champagne or wine, no matter how good a year or how much a client coaxes you to join them. You don’t have the luxury of time on-site or on-program to rest and recover and doing your best to stay healthy is just part of our jobs. We have to be there physically and mentally to take care of our clients and their guests. So we become masters of illusion as well as discretion. In this case, I left the food-disappearing-in-the-napkin act to Wills. I, on the other hand, became very adept at drawing DiamondDiva’s attention to the jewelry and outfits others in the room were wearing while I tried to be as inconspicuous as possible burying part of my meal under the accompanying side dishes. Apparently bright, shiny, expensive objects are going to be very effective at distracting DiamondDiva from whatever I want to divert her interest in, which is good to know going into the week with her on my own. Rarely do you need reinforcements on a site inspection on a cruise ship, but already I’m longing for one. I have a feeling that in the week to come I am really going to miss Wills’s support in the care and handling of DiamondDiva.
To give DiamondDiva her due, on the whirlwind tour we took of the property this afternoon, she really did set out to find the best Miami had to offer for the top winners—”her kids” as she called them. Every, and I mean every, suite in the hotel that was available for a walk-through had to be carefully examined with an eye as to whom it would be perfect for. Room decor mattered. DiamondDiva declared one suite done in rose hues perfect for one guest and his wife, as she knew rose was his wife’s favorite color, and another suite that received full morning sun was earmarked for another who was a sun lover.
Same applied to the upscale shopping areas. No designer store was left unvisited. Man, with the right incentive, that woman can do amazing mileage in those high heels. Racing store to store, rack to rack, counter to counter and popping in and out of fitting rooms with the speed and agility that would do a high-performance athlete proud, she often left Wills and me in her dust as we kept busy tracking her special finds to return to after the cruise if nothing else caught her fancy.
DiamondDiva so enjoyed her run-through shopping tour of Miami, the hotel, and the top clubs and being part of the VIP scene that she had only previously read about in her beloved Page Six that she has decided to add a day to their program and have all her winners fly down a day before the cruise to relax at the hotel, shop, have dinner and enjoy the nightlife before having a private lunch and boarding the next day. Fortunately for me, that’s been my intention all along as her participants will be flying in during the height of winter, and in order to avoid any flight delays or misconnections that could jeopardize their making it to the ship on time, I always recommend coming down a day ahead. Prior to today, the client (and no doubt DiamondDiva) had been adamantly opposed to that, so as tired as both Wills and I were, some good did come out of all that we’d done.
We’re both satisfied that our plans are in order for tomorrow, so we called it a night. It’s been a long, full day since I left Jamaica this morning. My bed is definitely beckoning.
DECEMBER 25
Mmmm . . . there is nothing like waking up after spending a night nestled in high-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets surrounded by soft down pillows, followed by a luxurious bubble bath in an oversize tub built for two, being wrapped in a cozy robe and savoring steaming hot coffee that has been delivered to your room with the morning papers. To me, it’s worth the effort of getting up a little bit earlier than I really need to when on-site so that I can fully take advantage of all the room amenities and the resort’s pampering touches. It’s one of the added joys we get to experience while staying in world-class hotels and resorts that are a minimum of six stars and in suites that can often range in the high hundreds if not thousands of dollars a night. Designing programs that provide nothing but the best for our clients and guests has a definite fringe benefit. But there are days on a demanding program that, as incredible as your suite may be, you only see your room briefly to shower and change and head back down to do what you have to do. And this morning, unfortunately, was one of them. It felt like my head had just touched the pillow when the wake-up call came in. Merry Christmas, the voice on the phone said.
Yesterday we toured Coral Gables from end to end, including a stop at Villa Vizcaya because DiamondDiva wanted to see if it would inspire some home decorating ideas for her newly acquired estate, as well as Bal Harbour and Coconut Grove, but passed on a visit to Sawgrass Mills Mall, whose famous factory outlets might have shopping appeal to “her kids” on the trip.
The difficulty in doing site inspections with company owners and top execs is keeping the client focused on their program and busy reviewing the event elements that will bring them a return on their investment by exceeding their guests’ expectations. If they’re in mini-me vacation mode—especially when it’s at their company’s expense, as everything is billed back to their program both during site inspections and running the actual event—and live their personal life at a multimillionaire if not billionaire level, it can be trying to bring them back down to what their attendees will enjoy doing and seeing if the company is not picking up all of their expenses, which does happen. Sometimes luxury spa and shopping sprees are built into programs and the charges are unexpectedly picked up, as are the food and beverage charges. But if not, whisking company sales winners away to six- and seven-star resorts can defeat the purpose and make winners come home feeling like losers.
With one company president who liked to live large but give the appearance of being one of “his people,” it was a twice a year battle. His guests found the destinations and resorts that he selected to be jaw dropping, and while initially they were thrilled to be going, they wondered how they were going to be able to pick up the cost for their meals and drinks, which were not included. What happens if they get caught having to pick up a round of drinks at a place where even a soda is over $10 with taxes and gratuities factored in? They were sweating, not only about the cost of the food and drinks, but about how they were going to be able to afford to dress the part and still have money to be able to step outside the resort. Stressed to the max, many of them resorted to bringing bags with them to the breakfast buffet to load up on food, fruit and bottled water and juices to make it through to dinner, as the resorts were usually located in areas where they could not find an inexpensive fast-food alternative.
But rather than include lunch for “his people,” who were blue-collar workers who could not afford a lavish lifestyle, this company pres was known to spend well over $20,000 to fly on a separate flight to avoid flying with “his people.” He would fly first class to another destination to be overnighted and wined and dined in high style—making a mini-vacation out of the stopover—rather than spend an extra day at the resort or fly back first class on the same plane (which was understandable because that would not project the image of being one of his people). Flying in wasn’t a problem, as while he would book himself on economy and in the same room category with his group every year and stress this fact during meetings with the company accountant, his planning team and his winners, we came to know that was just for show and soon would come the request to fly in three days earlier. Next would come the request to upgrade him and his wife to first class. And then would come the announcement that his top winner should have a luxury suite, not just an oceanfront suite, and that he himself might be better served booking the presidential suite of the resort so that he could entertain in his room. The cost of $10,000 a night and up for the presidential suite was not a problem no matter how long the stay. Lunch for the group? Not in the budget?
It was a song and dance we went through every year, and when the programs weren’t producing the results they wanted—no one wanted to win and go on trips that didn’t include their entire family and spend money they didn’t have, placing their own family
vacations at jeopardy—we finally got the green light to produce an event tailored to his target audience’s needs and not his wants. We did it in a way that his people did not have to incur one moment’s worry about how to get out of paying for a round of drinks or try to nonchalantly pack away enough food from the breakfast buffet to see them through the day. Sales soared through the roof. Their incentive trips were then expanded to include family members and sales went again to new heights. And yes, the first-class air and presidential suites were still in place during the trip but calculated from the very beginning and part of hotel negotiations from the get-go. Previously, the company pres had been adamant about not doing that because he didn’t want the fact that he wouldn’t be staying in the same room type as the rest of his group to show up on hotel contracts.
The resorts were downscaled to four and five stars to make their sales team more comfortable, and destinations were selected with an eye to what would appeal to them. For example, all-inclusive resorts and cruises, where all the meals and entertainment were included, were a hit and it was heartwarming to see the difference in the level of enjoyment. Guests could relax and joke about how it was their turn to pick up the next round of drinks, knowing that it was already paid for at the all-inclusive resorts. They loved the feeling of financial freedom; it allowed them to enjoy their time away without incurring expenses they could not personally afford. And the company pres still got his company-paid vacations, only now they were called site inspections, during which his every want and whim was indulged and no expenses were spared. And site inspections to destinations that he knew he would never be taking the group to were paid for in full—the hotels and suppliers knew there was little chance of business—with monies credited back should a group ever materialize. Accounting never raised an eye or an issue with the invoices submitted for sign-off and payment. They were too pleased with the new bottom-line results to question the changes that had taken place. This business is about dollars being spent making sense not always dollars and cents, and it can be an education process. My job is to design, deliver and use discretion.
With DiamondDiva, I sensed we could be in for the same runaround and it might prove to be a challenge balancing her very determined wants with the needs of “her kids” from a sales reward program. DiamondDiva had wanted to change this morning’s agenda to add a personal Palm Beach shopping trip with a side trip to see Mar-a-Lago and stop at the Polo Club in addition to touring South Beach and deciding on the pre-sailing restaurant for the group, which all needed to be done prior to boarding our floating luxury liner before too many other passengers embarked. It would be our only chance to see the cabins we had booked and we had to move fast. Being on board to do that and finalizing the restaurant were our top two priorities today—not a shopping and sightseeing excursion to Palm Beach. Thank goodness Wills was able to appease DiamondDiva last night with a promise to personally take her there as a “post site inspection” while she was in Miami an extra week with her husband after we came back. We gently reminded her that what she was requesting today was not possible as this was Christmas Day. Stores would be closed and not likely to be amenable to opening up for her to check them out no matter how good our DMC connections. What Wills pulled off last night had been truly amazing and a sign of a very connected ground operator. We had cautioned our client in advance of the difficulties that could be encountered doing a site inspection over the holidays.
He promised her they’d do it in style, with a white limousine—we had learned her color preference for limousines—and the finest champagne chilled and ready for her. I’m happy to leave that in Wills’s capable hands. I’ll send down Daniela as backup, as I’ll be out of country again and DiamondDiva is a two-man operation. Note to self: When the program goes out, assign Dee Dee exclusively to oversee DiamondDiva and add in more staff. I have a feeling we are going to need them. It’s only the start of the first full day and I am already mentally and physically exhausted.
Time to get out of bed and meet Wills for a pre-breakfast rendezvous before meeting up with DiamondDiva and discovering what kind of diamonds go with eggs Benedict and mimosas.
JANUARY 1
Sighhhhhhh . . . This is the sound of me relaxing after an incredible week of playing baby-sitter to DiamondDiva and my second long sigh of the day. I could kiss the hotel manager where I am staying tonight for putting me up in the hotel’s presidential suite. He must have taken pity on how exhausted I look and thought I needed something special to perk me up.
My client had been dead-on in saying that looking after “the missus” would have me wishing I had running shoes on. DiamondDiva had kept me on the run from early morning till the wee hours of the night with barely a moment alone to catch my breath. How can one woman talk, shop and consume that much champagne and caviar? My head is still reeling and we haven’t even run our first program yet. It had been so great to see Wills waiting with our limo when we disembarked yesterday and to know that I had another body to help me get through the last of our official site inspection duties. This time when we met up with my client and his executives, it was Wills and me breathing a sigh of relief that our duty was done and we had returned “the missus” in one piece.
When we’d boarded the ship a week ago DiamondDiva had been positively giddy from the champagne, the excitement of going to sea for the first time, the prospect of duty-free shopping and being able to dance till dawn. I had the feeling that my client—DiamondDiva’s hubby—was not much of a dancer and she was enjoying this time to let loose and have some fun while under supervised care, and I was elected to be the supervisor.
Going in with a new client I didn’t know what I didn’t know about their personal habits and code of conduct. Next time round I will be better prepared to tailor a site inspection to DiamondDiva’s very unique requirements and bring reinforcements if possible. Normally, on a cruise site inspection it is just a matter of getting on, sailing for a couple of days with your client, familiarizing yourself with the ship and adding program enhancements that come about as a result of spending one-on-one time alone with your client and getting to know their hot buttons, then flying home from one of the ports of call after a maximum three or four nights onboard. Some cruise site inspections even take just one day and involve flying in and out and doing a quick tour of the ship, top to bottom, while it is in port. But DiamondDiva’s program was different in that we were setting up special events in each port of call and that meant staying on the ship for the entire duration to show her what would be done and for me to have time to get to meet the local DMCs before I flew in the day before the actual event.
If I had to do it over again, knowing how demanding DiamondDiva is around having her personal—not program—wants, like shopping, drinking and dancing catered to, I would’ve set up our site inspection exactly as the actual program will run, with Dee Dee, who will be leading the program, onboard, and with me arriving in each port of call the day before our event to make sure that everything goes as planned. That way, DiamondDiva would have a playmate while I was able to focus on work. Juggling the two this past week had been trying—on both my patience and my will. I learned it was not safe to leave DiamondDiva on her own when she was drinking, feeling flirty and hell-bent on having the time of her life. Too bad clients and their guests don’t come with warning labels. It would definitely make this job easier sometimes.
Knowing some things in advance can be a saving grace and I should have found out a little more when DiamondDiva’s husband made the “quite a handful” remark and mentioned the need to wear running shoes. He was just so quiet that I couldn’t imagine how different his wife would be, but the combination must work as they have been married over 30 years. However, I think I now know why the mister finally put the missus in charge of all company events and gave her free rein on going on weeklong or more trips: the cost of the trip was nothing in comparison to making his wife happy, and in return the week of sweet peace it bought him while she was being well ca
red for was no doubt priceless.
I’ll admit that I just felt a slight chill—our future site inspection trips with this client, to Mexico and Africa, just flashed into mind and each one of them is well over a week in duration.
After spending almost every minute together for more than a week, I now know to plan and prepare for future trips with DiamondDiva. I feel as though I’ve just run a never-ending marathon and am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. How does her husband do it?
I learned: That DiamondDiva does not “do” downtime. Holding center court, drinking, dining, dancing, reading fashion magazines and shopping for diamonds and designer wear are some of her personal passions. I swear that in the duty-free shops steam was coming off of her prestige black credit card with unlimited spending. I learned more this past week about the cut, color, clarity, carats and cost of diamonds than I ever intended to in my life. Who knew there were so many types of cuts of diamonds? Old cuts, fancy cuts, step cuts, mixed cuts, rose cuts—I saw them all, but nothing would do. DiamondDiva wanted me by her side even though I offered to set up a personal shopping trip for her so that I could tend to business. Man, I missed having Wills or Daniela with me on this trip. And then within each cut type there were different styles. Again, who knew? DiamondDiva did. And we saw them all in gold, white gold and platinum settings. I am positive that DiamondDiva left not one duty-free jewelry store unvisited. Shopping in Miami had been a breeze compared to this week’s endurance test. And we had done it in style and comfort with a private limousine—white, of course—in each port of call. I was truly amazed when we walked into a designer dress shop and asked the salesperson if a particular dress was one that had been featured in “x” magazine’s last issue on page (fill in the blank) and the salesperson said yes. I came to know that was not just a rare occurrence and that DiamondDiva studied those magazines with the intensity of someone studying to pass the bar.
