I have to compel her. I tell Sam, and see him nod his head. I don’t know if I can.
“Why?” he asks aloud, his eyes bemused.
“What’s going on?” Amanda asks from the bed, her hand securely on Tania’s shoulder.
“Sh-she’s…” Tania raises a hand accusingly and points at me.
“Shut it, Buffy,” Jenna grouses, pushing Tania’s arm down.
Tania looks at her, horrified. “How could you? You’re just like Malcolm! Real followers of the Priestess do not associate with them!”
“Huh. Good thing we don’t follow the Priestess. We follow her,” Jenna remarks snidely, jerking her chin towards me.
Any other time, I would have taken a moment to revel in a Jenna compliment (because that’s certainly how I took it). I just don’t have a moment.
“Find a way to keep her quiet and here. I need to talk to all of you,” I order and march out of the room. I need to distance myself from Tania before I do something I regret.
As I pace around the mediation room, I’m totally aware of the irony that the room that is used to soothe feels like a cage to me.
“Baby, you need to calm down,” Sam soothes. “C’mere.” He holds out his arms, and I immediately fall into them, welcoming the strength.
“I know I’m being stupid,” I begin.
“Not stupid,” he assures me. “She knows perfectly well that we’re together. If anyone is being foolish, it’s her.”
“Hmm,” is my noncommittal answer. Truth is, I feel foolish. I feel like a damned teenager and not a six-hundred plus year-old vampire that has been through so much in the past centuries. I’ve lived through losing my parents, plagues, wars… and the one thing that brings me to the brink of losing myself is jealousy.
Actually, it’s me.
Sam’s voice in my head startles me out of my reverie.
“What?”
“Jealousy isn’t what’s causing you to feel out of control. It’s me,” he states quietly. When I gaze into his eyes, I see the different emotions he’s struggling with. Love, loyalty… guilt. Guilt?
I place my palms on his face, and stroke my thumbs sweetly on his cheeks. “Why do you feel guilty, baby?”
“I’m not sure.” He tries to turn away, but I hold him closer and wait patiently for him to continue. “Your humanity is in jeopardy because of me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Sure it is. Before me, you had control. You had…”
“Nothing,” I finish for him. “I was ready to die, Sam. This life, this never-ending life had become too… lonely. I’ve watched people die all around me. I never let anyone close enough to feel anything because I couldn’t handle it anymore. That is what was making me lose my humanity, baby.”
I reach up and kiss him lightly on the lips.
“We’ll work on this jealousy thing. Actually, we need to work on the amazing connection thing that’s going on. It’s wreaking havoc on my senses.”
Sam chuckles lightly. “Mine, too. Luckily for me I’m not dealing with someone else trying to get with you since…,” his voice trails off, and I know he was thinking of Zac. He pulls me into a hug, holding on tight until we were interrupted by the others pushing their way into the room.
“Okay, we got the… are we bothering you?” Jenna comments sarcastically when Sam and I break apart abruptly.
“Where is Tania?” I ask, ignoring her question.
“We sedated her,” Amanda answers tentatively. “And kinda sorta tied her to the bed.”
Laughter kinda sorta bursts out of me at that visual. “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about her getting away and telling the Priestess that I’m a vampire,” I say. “Let’s sit.” I gesture to the pillows that litter the floor, and try to find the words to explain to them what my dilemma is.
“The feelings are too strong for you, aren’t they?” Emily asks, surprising me by her perception.
“Yes.”
“Wait, what does that mean?” Jenna asks, leaning back on her hands and crossing her ankles in front of her.
“It means that if I try to compel Tania, I may kill her,” I answer factually.
“Oh my God, seriously?” Amanda leans closer to me, taking my hand in hers. “How? I mean, would you be telling her to kill herself?”
“No! You know me better than that, Amanda.”
“If I may?” Eric addresses the room, and continues when I nod. “When you compel someone, you’re using the power of your mind to control theirs, correct?”
“Mmhmm.”
“With Ana’s feelings towards Tania, she could override her brain, possibly, um…”
“Frying it?” Jenna suggests with a smirk.
“Essentially,” I admit.
“What about Sam?” Sara proposes.
“No!” My answer is too harsh, and I wince before apologizing. “First of all, that would be putting Sam in danger by exposing what he is to Tania. Second he has no experience with compelling.”
“I could try,” Sam offers.
“I don’t want you near her, Sam.”
“We need the information, baby. If there’s a chance I could get that, we need to take it,” Sam tries reasoning.
I stand abruptly and start pacing. I know we need the damned information, but I do not want Sam near Tania. I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself if she tries something with him. It’s true that he doesn’t have experience, but I know from experience that compulsion is easy for us. It doesn’t take much practice, but there’s no reason for Sam to know that… and I shouldn’t have had that thought. Damn it.
“So, I could do it,” Sam says aloud.
“If you’re going to listen in on my thoughts, Sam, listen to them all. Don’t pick and choose what you want to hear,” I chastise.
“I did listen. I just have more faith in you than you seem to have,” he shoots back.
“Okay, can someone please fill in us non-mind readers here? It’s like walking in on a conversation that we missed the beginning of,” Jenna complains.
Sam sighs when I stay quiet. “She knows I can compel Tania, but is afraid she would try killing her if she tried anything with me.”
“Tried anything?” Jeremy asks. “Like kiss you?”
Jeremy’s mouth audibly snaps shut at my feral growl. The thought of Tania’s lips on Sam’s sends such an intense feeling of rage through me that my knees buckle. Sam is at my side immediately, panting slightly. When I turn my curious gaze on him, I feel his mind open completely to me. He feels the rage I feel, and I can actually experience the virtual tug-of-war his humanity is having with the rage.
“Leave,” I whisper, not taking my eyes from Sam. I hope like hell that at least Amanda understands, and am beyond grateful when she gathers everyone and quickly ushers them out the door. If I don’t control these issues I have with Tania, Sam could be in serious danger.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur close to his ear. “Hold on to me, baby. Just hold on.”
Sam holds on to me tightly, trembling. What’s happening?
I hear the panic, and it makes me wince.
“You’re feeling my anger towards Tania. I think it’s more than you expected. Maybe more than you can handle right now.”
Sam lifts his head to look me in the eye. “You don’t think I’m strong enough?”
“No, baby, it’s not that. It’s just that we haven’t had the chance to deal with all of this.”
“You’re still waiting for me to lose it?”
Sigh.
I take a moment to think about the answer to that question. “No, I’m not, actually. But I’m having a hard time with these emotions. I can’t imagine you’re not.”
“It’s difficult,” he admits. “I don’t want either of us around her any longer than we have to be. So, we need to hurry and get what we need from her.”
“I know. I just don’t like how we have to do it.”
“So, you’re really going to let Sam…”
> Jenna stops when Amanda elbows her in the side, shaking her head. Jenna shrugs, but sent me a contrite look. I believe even she can tell that I am too stressed out for jokes right now. It took another thirty minutes to settle both me and Sam down after my little outburst (and I won’t get into how we managed to do that). But now I can feel myself getting tense all over again.
“Ana, is Sam ready for this?” Amanda asks gently.
“I hope so,” I answer distractedly.
“Maybe he should practice,” she suggests. “I mean, it would probably be best if he tried with one of us before going in there.”
It’s a good idea. I should have thought of it. But I’m not so arrogant that I can’t accept the help when I need it.
“Are you volunteering?” I ask teasingly.
“Yes. I mean, I am his sister. I suppose I can put my mind in his hands. So to speak,” she smiles.
“You sure you want to do that?” Sam taunts as he walks up, slinging an arm across Amanda’s shoulders. “You never know what I might compel you to do. Maybe quack like a duck? Bawk like a chicken?” He grins.
God help me, but that grin does stuff to me. I watch captivated as Sam’s grin widens when he looks at me. I shake my head, trying to clear it of the images of what Sam and I did less than an hour ago. Damn, I am so glad I can’t blush.
Sam chuckles at my obvious embarrassment before turning his attention back to Amanda who punches him lightly in the arm for teasing her.
“You wouldn’t!” She dares.
“Nah. I’d just make you yell out dirty words when I give a certain command.”
It’s my turn to chuckle when Amanda glares mockingly at Sam. I’m grateful for the moment of reprieve from the seriousness of what’s going on around us. I take it for the gift it is, and feel the knot in my stomach loosen a bit.
“Alright, children. Let’s get on with this so we can figure out what to do with… Buffy, as Jenna so lovingly calls her,” I playfully scold, placing my hands on my hips a la Amanda.
Jenna snorts with laughter, making the rest of my Hunters laugh right along with her.
“Ana is right. The quicker we get what we need from Tania, the quicker we can figure out what’s going on and get the hell out of here,” Emily announces, shocking us with her assertiveness as well as the expletive. Okay, so hell isn’t much of an expletive, but for Emily it is.
“You don’t find my homeland to be inviting, Emily?” I can’t help picking on the small Asian girl. After what happened with Zac, my relationship with Emily had been somewhat strained. Even though I don’t blame her for trying to kill me, she still feels guilty and that makes her even more timid around me.
“No! I mean yes. I mean…”
“I’m teasing you, Emily,” I laugh. “I don’t find it very inviting at the moment myself. But maybe after all of this I can show you guys around. It really is beautiful when there aren’t homicidal weirdos walking around.”
Emily smiles tentatively at me, allowing her smile to widen when I grin and wink at her.
“Ready?” Sam asks Amanda. I can feel his reluctance to bring forth the stress again, but he knows it’s time to get back to the task at hand.
“Alright, think about what you want Amanda to do,” I instruct Sam close to his ear. He nods slightly, letting me know he has the thought in his head. I almost laugh aloud when I hear the thought, but manage to keep a straight face. “Now look into Amanda’s eyes and project that thought to her. Make her think it’s her idea.”
Sam concentrates, looking deep into Amanda’s eyes. I’m surprised Sam wants to try this silently. It’s more difficult, especially for those that are newly turned. But in a short time, I see Amanda’s pupils begin to dilate. In a daze, she stands up, turns towards Jenna and proceeds to give the startled blonde a bear hug. The look on Jenna’s face is what does it. I lose my battle to keep from laughing, and the others join in immediately with loud guffaws. Jenna glares at me, and I give her my most innocent look.
“I didn’t do it!” I told her, pointing at Sam who looks away, whistling. I laugh harder until tears were streaking down my face.
“Can you tell her to stop now?” Jenna grouses.
“Say please,” Sam smirks.
“Please,” she snarls, trying to push a clinging Amanda away from her.
“Release her, baby,” I laugh.
“How?” he asks, still snickering at Jenna.
“You have to make sure you’re looking into her eyes and tell her you release her,” I tell him, guiding him around to Jenna’s back so he could see Amanda’s comically giddy expression as she hugs an increasingly annoyed Jenna.
“Amanda.” Sam’s voice cracks with laughter, and he clears his throat. “Amanda, I release you.”
Amanda blinks, her brows furrowing as she pushes away from Jenna. “What the hell?”
When she figures out what Sam had just made her do, Amanda’s face flushes a deep red. Whether it was from embarrassment or because she’s pissed, I don’t know. Maybe both as she turns to Sam and lets him have it.
“You sorry piece of…” Amanda doesn’t finish her thought, but she begins pounding on Sam’s chest. Now perhaps if Sam wasn’t Cursed, I’d be a little astounded by Amanda’s response, but since I know she can’t hurt him, I just hide my smile. “You made me hug Jenna?! Jenna?! Are you crazy?? Why in the hell would you make me hug her?!” she shouts, pointing angrily at Jenna just to make sure Sam knew who she was talking about.
“You think I liked it?” Jenna asks an irate Amanda. “I could have totally lived my life happily without that happening.”
Amanda stops her tirade at Jenna’s snide remarks. “Oh whatever. You know you liked it.” And to my utter shock and amazement, she winks and blows a kiss at Jenna.
I don’t know whose eyes were bigger. Mine or Jenna’s. It isn’t until I see the mirth in Amanda’s eyes that I start laughing again. Jenna finally sees the hilarity of the situation, and as Jenna does, snorts her laughter.
Everyone agreed that I shouldn’t go in Tania’s room with Sam. And by that, I mean they said majority rules and I was to comply with their vote. It’s okay. I can see it going terribly wrong if I go with Sam. Instinctively I know she’s going to think that I’ve given in to her demands and am handing Sam over to her. The thought of that alone pisses me off. So, I’ve conceded to staying out, but I’m not stupid enough to let Sam go in alone.
I send Jenna in with him. What? Don’t agree with my decision? Think she’s still pissed enough by Sam’s prank that she would let something happen to him? Oddly enough, I trust Jenna completely when it comes to doing the right thing by me (and Sam). Weird, I know. Plus, there’s no love lost between Jenna and Tania, and she could knock her out if need be. A part of me hopes there’s a need.
Even though I trust both Sam and Jenna, I keep my attention on what’s going on in Sam’s mind. I can hear everything that’s being said through the door because of my hypersensitive hearing, but I want to make sure Sam’s emotions stay calm. I turn my attention to what’s going on inside the room and inside Sam’s head.
“Wake her.” Deep breath. Calm yourself as you wait for Jenna to comply. I need to balance myself. I can do this. I’ve been a cop for years, and have dealt with scumbags much worse than Tania. But Tania grinds my nerves more than anyone ever has. I know it’s because of how she makes Anala feel, but I have to force my emotions down and get this done. Anala is counting on me. “Hello, Tania.” I try to stay cordial as she opens her eyes and focuses on me. Ugh. Don’t worry about the look, don’t think about it, don’t think about it.
“She actually did it.” I wonder if she thinks that’s a seductive smile she’s giving me. Crap. Don’t think about it. Anala, I love you.
“Did what?” I know what she’s talking about, but I need her relaxed enough to not think something is wrong when I get closer.
“She gave you to me.” Man, that look gives me the heebie jeebies.
Uh oh. Baby, calm down. I�
��ve got this under control. Please just trust me. If you get upset, it’ll only upset me.
“Actually, I’m here to ask you some questions.” Okay, she’s frowning now. But at least Anala is calmer.
“She thought she could send you in here to get information for her? It doesn’t work like that, love.”
Damn, damn, damn. Baby, please!
“Tania.” Do I risk sitting near her? Yes. Just concentrate on what you need to do. Come on, Sam. Get what you need and get out. “I need you to tell me where to find the Priestess.”
Baby, I’m concentrating, but it feels like she’s trying to push me out.
Push harder.
Damn. Just hearing her voice makes me…
Sam.
Sorry. Concentrating.
“Tell me where to find the Priestess, Tania.”
“Are you… mine?” Okay, so her voice is faltering. Does that mean she’s weakening? Why is this more difficult than Amanda?
Amanda wasn’t trying to resist you. She is. You have to fight harder. Push harder. If she still fights you, you will have to turn.
“You want to tell me where the Priestess is, Tania.” Harder. I can practically feel my thoughts drilling into hers. She’s wavering.
Just keep eye contact. Push the thought.
“She…” She’s shaking her head, she has to be losing her grip on her resistance. Push harder! “She is in the original village.”
“Original village?”
“Anala’s village. There is… a… secluded place.”
“Can you show me on a map?”
“It’s not on a map.”
“Landmarks?”
“Who are you? What are you? What are you doing to me?”
That’s enough. Get out of there. Tell Jenna to put her back under for now.
“God, I’m glad that’s over.”
I watch Sam shake his entire body like a duck shaking off water.
“Me, too,” I murmur, taking him in my arms. “I’m sorry I almost lost it.”
“Understandable, baby. But you did great and helped me.”
Destined to Meet: A Destined Novel (Destined Novels Book 3) Page 6
