Destiny

by Mitchel Grace

  “I think your friend is onto something,” he said.

  “I don’t think so. She’s not that kind of girl.”

  “Well, she’s not the kind to answer your calls either. I say have fun at college now, and if she gives you a call back, great. Maybe you two will end up together, but that’s no reason to throw away your college years waiting on some girl who may not want you.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” I said and told my dad I loved him as the guard came in to take him away.

  When I left the prison that day, it felt like two sides of myself were fighting each other. There was the side that was listening to my mother and knew that Olivia loved me. That side wanted me to quit what I was doing with Emmitt and show up in Wisconsin to surprise the love of my life. Then there was the other side. It asked why I shouldn’t cash in now if I could? For that matter, why shouldn’t I live it up in Miami if Olivia couldn’t see what she had in me?

  While I was driving to the club, I felt nauseous. My whole life was about to change depending on what I decided, and it was too much for me. I just needed my phone to ring. Why wouldn’t it ring? If I could have heard Olivia tell me that she loved me, it would have made my decision for me. It wasn’t going to ring, though. I picked up the phone and dialed her number one last time. It went to voicemail.

  “Olivia, I don’t know what’s going on. You’re obviously avoiding my calls, and I don’t know why. I love you, and I want us to be together, but it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you don’t want that. I hope I’m wrong. I’m not going to call anymore. You know where I stand. You’ve always known that. I love you more than anyone in this world, and that’s never going to change. Call me back if you want a life with me. If you don’t call, I’ll assume that you don’t. Goodbye for now. I hope . . .” I said and hung up.

  After I had parked at the club, I walked inside to see that Emmitt already had us a good spot set up in the corner. He attracted a lot of attention because of who he was, so there were already plenty of women in that area. I made a decision in that moment. I was going to manage him, and I was going to have the night of my life. If Olivia didn’t want me, then she was a fool. I was going to drink too much and go home with whoever I wanted. I had to. I could do that or completely break down.

  “My man! Get over here!” I heard Emmitt call out.

  I smiled and walked over. We drank only the best that night and went home with even better. That night as I lay with someone who was little more than a stranger, I felt nothing at all. Life wasn’t good, and it wasn’t bad. That was as good as I could do back then. My heart was broken into a million pieces, and feeling nothing at all was better than facing it. The school year would pass by in a haze of parties, alcohol, girls I didn’t love, and a numbing routine that I didn’t dare deviate from. She never called, and I never gave myself a chance to get over it. I self-medicated with alcohol, some prescription drugs, and sex until all of it just faded away. Everyone has to face reality sooner or later, though, and I ran into a wall the next summer that nearly destroyed me. I only thought that her not wanting to be with me was the most painful thing I could experience.

  Chapter 21

  Heart Stops Beating

  Summer

  The year passed by in a haze, and at the end of it, one fact was staring me in the face. I wasn’t the person I used to be. In fact, whatever remained of any type of innocence in me was long gone. It was time to go home. I had to get away from Miami for a while and get back to where I was at my best. I told Emmitt that I was leaving for the summer. It wasn’t ideal because we had a lot going on in Miami, but he understood. When I got off my flight, Aunt Kristen met me at the gate.

  “It’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re home,” she said and hugged me.

  “It’s amazing to be back. I didn’t think I could ever miss this place so much. How have you and Uncle Gary been?”

  We made small talk until we got out to the car. Once we were on the road, she asked me a question that I didn’t know the answer to.

  “What are you going to do now that you’re back in town?”

  “I don’t know. In truth, I don’t even know why I came back. I had a lot to do back in Miami. Have you ever just had to get away?”

  “Yeah, but was something wrong there?”

  “No, it’s nothing like that. I just don’t feel like myself in that town. I wanted to get back to who I am here for a while. I guess the first thing I’ll do is look up Olivia. She was my best friend here.”

  “That won’t be awkward?”

  “Why would it be?”

  “You haven’t heard, have you?”

  “Heard what?”

  “She got married a few months ago. She even has a little boy now. Olivia married that boy you didn’t like in high school. I think his name was Richard.”

  “You can’t be serious!”

  “I am, but you shouldn’t be surprised. You two haven’t talked in a long time, have you?”

  “She came to visit last summer. We didn’t tell anyone about it because she was dating him at the time. I think she showed up just to spend some time with an old friend at first, but we drifted back into old habits quickly. It was romantic. When she left, she promised that she would break it off with Richard and wait for me. I tried to call her dozens of times afterward, but she never picked up the phone. I knew something was wrong, but this . . .”

  “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have told you this way if I knew that she still meant so much to you.”

  “It’s okay. Actually, it’s really not. I’ll be all right, though. I’m just glad to be back in town. I’ve missed you and Uncle Gary more than anyone. Where is he, by the way?”

  “He’s still at work. We’re going to take you out for dinner after he gets done.”

  “That sounds amazing,” I said with a fake smile.

  In truth, all I could think about was how I had lost Olivia. She was definitely gone now. Being with her while Richard and she were dating was one thing, but now they were married. I couldn’t step between that, even if I wanted to. Besides, she obviously didn’t want me. If Olivia had, she would have waited on me or at least picked up the phone once.

  The day went on well enough, and that evening, I went out with my aunt and uncle. We had a great time and talked as if nothing had ever changed. I had to smile at the realization that these people had truly become my family. Sure, my mom and dad were family, but I now thought of these two as more than I ever knew I could. In that way, I was blessed.

  When our time was done, I told my uncle that I wanted to go out for a while and see if I could find any old friends. He showed me to the garage where the same ugly green car was still sitting inside. It was in great shape. My uncle had obviously taken care of it since I was gone. That didn’t change the fact that it was still the most hideous thing I had ever seen.

  “I can’t believe you kept this ugly thing,” I said with a smile.

  “It was your car. I knew you would be back for it eventually. It’s good to have you home,” Uncle Gary said.

  “It’s good to be back,” I said and hugged him.

  “Eric, let me ask you something before you go. When you were a freshman, you were having a lot of problems at school. Are things better now?”

  “They are now that I’m here. I feel like myself again for once. Now I just have to figure out what became of the guys I grew up with.”

  “I would try Dalen’s pub downtown. I see Mike there on most evenings.”

  “Thanks,” I said and set out to find a friend I hadn’t talked to in over two years.

  I was a little nervous. How much could Mike have changed by now? Two years doesn’t seem like long, but look at how much I had changed in such a short amount of time. When I went inside the pub, I found who I was looking for sitting alone in the corner. At first, I felt a little bad for him. He was sitting by himself. That pity quickly turned to envy as I saw a woman sit down by him and give him a quick kiss. She looked familiar. After t
hinking on it for a minute, I realized that she was Kelly Green, the girl he had liked for as long as I knew him. I remembered the party we went to when he got her number. None of my friends, including him, wanted to go that night. Everything changed for all of us when we did, though. I was a little jealous even though I was happy for him, too. He was sitting there with his dream girl, and what was I doing with my life? I turned away and started to walk out without saying a word. That’s when I heard him.

  “Eric! Eric Wilson, is that you?” he asked.

  I turned and greeted him. He insisted that I take a seat and visit for a while, so I did.

  “How have you been, man? It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Mike said.

  “I’ve been great. It looks like you’ve been doing pretty well yourself. I can’t believe you were actually able to keep this lovely lady around. I thought she would wise up eventually,” I joked.

  “I don’t know how he does it. I’m just calling it luck right now,” Kelly said.

  “All right, enough of that. I know I’m lucky,” Mike said and ordered a round for us.

  “Not that I’m complaining, but how are you getting alcohol here so freely? None of us are twenty-one,” I said.

  “My grandfather bought the pub last year. I’m old enough to work for a living and get married, so he figured that I’m old enough to come by here after work for a drink, too.”

  “Wait a minute. Married?”

  “Yeah, we got engaged last week. We’re going to be married this winter. You should come. You’re the only reason I talked to Kelly in the first place. If you weren’t there, it would be a shame.”

  “What do you mean he’s the reason?” Kelly asked.

  “Before I met Eric, my friends and I just sat in my room every weekend. I first talked to you at a party that I didn’t want to go to. He convinced me to go. Without Eric, who knows how our lives would be?”

  “So you’re saying that without Eric, I might be with a handsome rich guy?” Kelly joked.

  “Yeah. Sorry about that one,” I said and smiled.

  “Okay, that’s enough fun at my expense. What’s been going on with you, Eric? I heard you were back in Miami now.”

  “Not much. I’m going to college for business. I’m rooming with Emmitt Brown. Some people think that’s interesting.”

  “The football player?”

  “Yeah, don’t tell me he’s a big deal here, too.”

  “I’m pretty sure he’s a big deal everywhere.”

  “Well, he’s supposed to let me represent him when he goes into the draft, so I guess I’m doing all right. What are you doing these days?”

  “I would say that’s a lot better than all right. You’re going to be rich. I’m working at the same factory that your uncle is. We can’t all hang out with the rich and famous like you,” he joked.

  “Hey, he’s not rich or famous yet. I’m really happy for you. It looks like you’ve done great for yourself, Mike.”

  “Not like you. You do realize that if he lets you be his agent, you’re going to be rich, right?”

  “Money’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I know that sounds like the thing that a typical spoiled rich kid would say, but it’s true. I think I would have preferred staying around here and having something simple like what you have with Kelly.”

  “You could have, you know,” Kelly said.

  “What do you mean?”

  “We see Olivia all the time. She wanted to be a doctor and have this really great life, but she ended up quitting college and settling down to an ordinary one. She seems happy, but I know she always wanted that life to be with you.”

  I looked depressed at that moment. I didn’t mean to, but I showed how much it bothered me that I wasn’t the guy she settled down with.

  “Hey, don’t think about that. You’re doing a lot better than you would’ve been with Olivia,” Mike quickly said.

  “I don’t know about that. I can’t believe she quit school, though. That was really important to her.”

  “I think the baby complicated things. Anyway, you should look her up. I know she would love to hear from you. Olivia and Richard live near the lake.”

  “He got her a house on the lake?” I asked in surprise.

  “Not exactly. It’s about a mile away from it. Still, it’s a good starter home for them. I can give you her address.”

  “I don’t think Richard would like me coming by. There’s too much history there. I wouldn’t mind meeting her one day, though. Hey, do you mind doing me a favor? My phone died a little while ago, and I need to make a quick call to Emmitt.”

  “Here, go ahead,” Mike said as he handed me his phone.

  I stepped outside to make my call. It wasn’t to Emmitt, though. I was calling Olivia. I knew that it wasn’t a good idea to show up at her door, and she wasn’t going to answer my calls. She would answer a call from Mike, though.

  “Hello,” she said.

  It was so nice to hear her voice again. Even if everything had changed, I loved that voice. I had missed it more than I knew was possible. I heard and saw her in my dreams, but I wasn’t sure that I would ever get to talk to her again.

  “Hello. Is anyone there? Mike?” Olivia questioned.

  “It’s me,” I said.

  Olivia paused for a second. She knew who was calling her. I couldn’t tell if she had paused from sheer shock or if she was disappointed that it was me. Maybe she was as excited to hear me as I was to hear her, or at least that’s what I hope.

  “Olivia, I know you don’t want to talk to me, and it’s late, but I need to speak with you at least one more time. I can’t come there because of Richard, but you can meet me somewhere. Will you?”

  “Where are you?”

  “At Dalen’s pub downtown. Can you step out for a minute?”

  “Yeah. I’ll be there soon,” she said and hung up.

  I walked back inside and sat down by Mike and Kelly again. When I handed the phone back to him, Mike looked at me strangely. It was as if he knew that I really didn’t call Emmitt.

  “All right, I didn’t call my roommate. I called Olivia. She’s on the way here now,” I said.

  “You know that Stan’s not here to protect you from Richard now, right?” Mike asked.

  “It’s nothing like that. I just have to talk to her again. She was my best friend in high school, and I never stopped loving her. Even if that part of my life is over, I want to see her.”

  “Okay, but don’t you see how this could be a bad idea?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t care. Let’s change the subject. You said that Stan isn’t here anymore. Where did he go?”

  “He went off to some fancy school on the east coast. I haven’t heard from him much at all lately. Rusty moved with his family to the west coast. His dad got a job there when he was nineteen. He didn’t really know what to do with his life yet, so he followed them there.”

  “Wait a minute. Why are you two talking about that? You just asked your high school girlfriend, and a woman who I know wanted the person she ended up with to be you, to come to this pub tonight. Why aren’t we talking about that?” Kelly asked.

  “Because I know it isn’t going to work out well. You would have to know our history to understand how complicated me coming back here to find her married is.”

  “Explain it.”

  “It would take too long to tell you everything, but let’s just leave it at we made a promise to each other. She wasn’t supposed to be with Richard, and we were supposed to wait for each other.”

  “So you weren’t supposed to date anyone during college?”

  “No, that’s not what I mean. We just weren’t supposed to end up with anyone but each other. I really didn’t expect to come home to this. I thought I had more time. I’ve been talking to Emmitt, and his draft status is through the roof. He’s planning to go into the draft next year. We were going to quit school and make a ton of money after the draft. Then I planned to come back here with a
way to give her everything she ever wanted. We always talked about building a house on the lake. That was her dream. Now I’m back, and Richard has already given her that dream. I just found out that the last two years of my life were useless. Unless I get to come back here with her, I don’t think anything in my life has purpose.”

  “I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, the house he bought her is a dump. They don’t have a lot of money, and I’m pretty sure it’s not her dream place.”

  “Let me ask you something. What are you hoping to accomplish by inviting her here?” Mike asked.

  “I don’t know. I don’t want to break up a marriage when there’s a kid involved. That still sounds so weird to say. Olivia is a mother. I didn’t see that one coming.”

  “As long as you’re not expecting to be able to get her back, then this should be fine. I’m sorry that things worked out this way. Trust me, though. You’re going to be all right. You’ve got a good future ahead of you,” Mike said just as I saw Olivia walk in.

  I stood and walked over to her. Then we found a private place to sit. I started to order her a drink, but she didn’t want one.

  “I’ve got to get back home soon, so no thanks. I told Richard I was just running over to my mom’s,” Olivia said.

  “I understand. I don’t know what else to say, so I’m just going to come out and ask you what I’m thinking. Why didn’t you answer any of my calls over the last year?”

  “I couldn’t. Emmitt and I had a conversation when I was there. He told me that you were completely hung up on me. He even implied that your happiness was dependent on the idea of us ending up together. He said I needed to either stay with you or give you the time of your life that week and let you go. I made a choice, and I had to stick to it. We were never going to end up together, and it wasn’t fair to make you think that we were. It wasn’t fair to Richard either. I was a terrible person. I loved you, but cheating on him was wrong. It wasn’t me. We loved each other, but we brought out the worst in each other, too. I didn’t want that anymore.”