by Ali Parker
Stepping off the plane, my heels hit the tarmac around the same time the narrow steps leading from the aircraft shook as Matt ran down them. Apparently, he wasn’t the biggest fan of flying, and I was learning that he was like a ball of uncontained energy as soon as we touched down.
“I’ll meet you at the car,” he called out, jogging backward before taking off for … somewhere. I sighed, running my hand through my rapidly frizzing hair as the weather won out over my straightening efforts from that morning.
A black umbrella popped up over my head, a stoic-looking steward appearing at my elbow. “Thanks,” I told the man, who nodded but didn’t acknowledge me otherwise.
Jared was next off the plane, grabbing the umbrella from the man with a smirk. “I got it.”
He didn’t put an arm around me or anything, but it was thrilling to know he just wanted to walk by my side. Angling my body slightly toward his, I peeked over my shoulder to make sure Jared’s gesture wasn’t being noticed by Gerry or any of the others. Relieved to see no one but Caleb looking twice at us, I fell into step with Jared.
Nick and Dom were behind us, talking to Gerry as they got handed their own umbrellas and hurried to catch up. Caleb brought up the rear, listening as Gerry lectured the guys on what he expected from them this weekend.
“Remember,” he said firmly. “This is your first live gig since the incident, and you have the interview after. You absolutely cannot show up drunk, hungover, or even appear to be slightly tipsy.”
“That’ll get the rumor mill going that Destitute has an alcohol abuse problem,” I added, hating to become part of Gerry’s lecture, but the band’s reputation was more important, and they needed to know what was at stake. “All of you know how quickly a rumor, true or not, can catch fire. The last thing we need is people obsessing about your partying when we want them saving their obsession for your music.”
“Obsession is such an ugly word,” Dom mused. “Can we call it focus instead?”
Nick laughed, jumping right into a puddle in front of him to splash water over Dom’s pants. “Lighten up, Captain Logophile. We just want people talking about the music. That’s it.”
Dom’s cursed, jumping out of Nick’s way. “Logophile? When did you swallow a dictionary?”
“When I was eight,” Nick deadpanned. “It means someone who’s obsessed with words.”
“Loves words, actually,” Dom corrected, dodging Nick’s fist as it swung at his shoulder. “Someone who loves words.”
“You two are the worst,” Matt complained, clearly having gotten bored running off doing whatever and was now back with the group, looking considerably calmer for having had a minute to stretch his legs. “Assuming we weren’t talking about which one of them was the most annoying, what did I miss?”
“Best behavior until after the interview,” Caleb summarized Gerry’s speech perfectly.
Matt’s eyes narrowed as he studied Caleb. “Obviously. We’re not idiots.”
“You hide it well,” Jared joked from beside me, keeping as close to my side as he could without arousing suspicion.
Matt flipped him the bird, glancing at Nick. “We already said we’d hold off on partying until tomorrow night.”
“Good,” Gerry intervened. “Concentrate on delivering a stellar performance first and then an interview that will make our dear Alicia proud, and after that, you can go off and sow your wild oats or whatever you kids are calling it these days.”
“Deliver a stellar performance?” Nick echoed, his lips twitching up into a grin. “Talk about swallowing a dictionary, but you got it, boss. Best behavior.”
“Thank you.” Gerry’s relief clung to his words. He looked tired again this morning, his complexion pasty and his skin clammy. Worse than he looked at his house that morning Jared and I went to get him back to the band.
I was getting worried about him, but he waved me off when I asked if he was okay. Remembering my earlier concern, I slowed to ask him again since he seemed to be falling behind. Dom was walking next to him, and as I turned, I saw Gerry’s step falter.
Before he could fall, Dom noticed, and his arm shot out to steady Gerry. “You doing okay there?”
“I’m fine.” He repeated what he’d told me earlier, jaw sharpening as his shoulders squared, and he marched ahead.
Dom’s gray eyes met mine, a thin, worried crease between his eyebrows. He cocked his head as if to ask, “What’s wrong with him?”
I shrugged, shaking my head. I didn’t know what was going on either.
Jared’s eyes darkened as he watched the quick exchange between Dom and me, and he put his hand on my elbow to guide me forward. A small gesture, but one that made me smile into an eye roll. Leaning my head closer to his shoulder, I whispered, “Possessive much?”
“It’s not …” He trailed off, sighed, and then perked up, winking at me. “It wasn’t just that, but consider yourself warned. You make eyes at other men, the monster comes out to play.”
“So many questions come to mind,” I muttered, enjoying our private ribbing. “But first, does that mean you can’t make eyes at other women, and second, what monster?”
“I promised you exclusivity, didn’t I? Haven’t made eyes at other women since,” he replied, squeezing my elbow lightly. We were both wearing coats, which I hoped would make enough cover that no one would see his hand on me.
“And if you have to make eyes at other men,” he said, drawing my attention back to him, “could it not be my drummer? We have a show tomorrow night, you know. It would be a pity to have to replace him at the last second. He’s kind of good.”
“Is that where the monster comes in? In the answer to the ‘Why would Dom need replacing’ question?”
“Yup,” Jared answered cheerfully but didn’t give me anything more. We walked in silence with the others to the waiting car where our bags were already being loaded.
How was I ever going to travel by myself again after getting used to this kind of treatment with Destitute?
I sighed, shuddering as I remembered the last trip I took with Kelly. Jared gave me a questioning look as we waited to get into the car. “Cold?”
“No. I was just thinking about the unprecedented disaster my last trip with Kelly was and wondering how I’m going to face stuff like that again when I’m not traveling with you guys.”
“Oooh, I’m sensing a good story here.” Nick rubbed his palms together, blowing into them to warm his hands. “What happened?”
We piled into the limo. Gerry got in first and scooted all the way to the edge of one of the bench seats, letting his head fall back against the leather seat and closing his eyes. My earlier pang of worry returned, but for Gerry’s sake, I wouldn’t ask him again in front of everyone.
Instead, I kept them focused on me as I told them about how every stroke of bad luck that could hit on a trip, had hit the Diamond sisters on our last attempt at a vacation. Everything that could go wrong had happened to us, from our car breaking down while we were still on the way to the airport, which should’ve been a sign, to our flight being delayed for six hours and our luggage being lost, to both of us getting food poisoning while we waited hours for our transfer.
The guys cracked up as I told my story. Gerry smiled faintly but didn’t interject with questions as the others did. When I was done, the band revived the argument they’d been having on the plane over the best songs to play at their concert tomorrow night.
I relaxed into my seat, watching rain splatter onto the windows and trying to make out the city beyond. Jared was sitting next to me, and he leaned over slightly, his breath fanning my ear as he spoke quietly. “I know of one way to avoid having to travel like that again.”
“Yeah?” I was careful not to turn my head too much, hyperaware that if I did, our lips would be mere inches apart. Not good, given that we were surrounded by people. “What’s that?”
“Easy.” He shrugged. “You said it yourself. You don’t have to face stuff like that when you travel with us, so just
keep traveling with us.”
He said it like it was the most obvious answer in the world, but I couldn’t help reading into it. I had to play it cool, though. “Is that your way of inviting yourself on our next sisterly adventure?”
“Yup. I’ll bring my brothers. We’ll make it a family affair.” My heartbeat sped up before I could talk some sense into myself. Quickly, I reminded myself, He doesn’t mean it like that.
Jared sat back after that, his thigh pressed to mine as he turned his attention to the great song debate.
Evening was falling by the time we got to the hotel. The guys grumbled about being hungry and made straight for the hotel bar. Gerry caught my arm before I could go to the reception desk to check us in or follow them to the bar.
“Could we have a word before dinner later?” he asked, his voice quiet.
I nodded, a sense of foreboding creeping up on me. “Sure. I’ll meet you in an hour?”
“Sounds good.”
Gerry beat me to the hotel restaurant later, after we’d checked in. He was waiting in a booth set back into an alcove, sipping a glass of water. His eyes lifted as I approached, seeming even more tired than he had earlier. Dark circles were starting to form beneath them, and his shoulders weren’t as stiff as they usually were.
“Thank you for coming,” he greeted me. “Have a seat. I know you’ll be working later tonight, so I’ll make it quick. Water?”
“Please.”
He lifted a silver jug from the table and poured a glass, his features solemn as he pushed it across the table to me. I shrugged out of my coat and hung it over the back of my chair before sitting down. “What’s going on, Gerry? You don’t seem like yourself lately.”
“I’m not, and I’m sorry about that.” He struggled to meet my eyes. As soon as he did, I saw why. His were watery, glassy like he was fighting back tears. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I need you to give me your word that this stays between us for now.”
“Okay.”
“I’m not going to be able to go on tour with you.” His voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, regaining control of his emotions before continuing. “I have cancer. I start treatment soon, but no one knows about it yet.”
“What?” I blurted out. Of all the things I was expecting him to tell me, this was the last. Tears jumped to my eyes, and I struggled to keep them from falling. “You have to tell Destitute, Gerry. They’ll want to support you through this. So do I.”
“I know.” He exhaled deeply. “That’s why you can’t tell them, not until they’re on tour. They’ll want to postpone it. Cancel it even, since Jared’s on his ‘leave no man behind’ mission. I can’t allow them to do that. I won’t.”
“But—”
Overwhelming sadness in Gerry’s eyes silenced me. “I know, Alicia. It’s going to be hard keeping this from them, but you have to promise me. It’s the only way.”
His words stayed with me, echoing in my mind hours after our dinner when Jared showed up at my hotel room’s door. The second he saw me, he knew something was wrong. “What is it? What happened?”
“Nothing,” I lied. The lie came to wrap itself around my shoulders as soon as it was out of my mouth, its weight heavy and uncomfortable, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to pretend everything was okay for now, but I knew the news was going to destroy the band on tour.
More than anything, I wanted to confide in Jared. It was going to hit him hardest of all and looking at him every day while knowing this and not telling him was like lying to his face until the tour kicked off.
But it didn’t matter what I wanted because I’d promised Gerry I wouldn’t say a thing. And this was Gerry’s news, his decision.
Swallowing back my guilt, I tried my best to drum up a smile as I wrapped my arms around Jared. “Come on in.”
Fuck. This is going to suck.
17
Jared
“Good evening, Seattle!” I roared into the microphone, running out on stage for the first time in months. Blood pumping fast through my veins, the energy from the crowd was seeping into my bones. The feeling like slipping on a familiar sweater or a favorite shirt.
There was nothing quite like being onstage, even if the audience was only a couple of hundred strong like they were tonight. Small crowd as it was, the audience radiated excitement. Their cheers nearly burst my eardrums as I ran out, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I lived for this shit.
Despite our lack of prep and practice time for this show, I was so ready to do this. As the stage lights heated my skin at the same time as they stole my view of most of the fans, I couldn’t believe I’d almost given this up.
I’d come this close to walking away from one of the few damn things that truly made me feel alive. I could count them on one hand, actually. Writing a song and hearing it come together, performing that song and soaking up the magnetism from the crowds as they sang it back to me, and being with Alicia. That was the list.
And I’d been days away from losing it all. Idiot.
It took me less than a minute of being back on stage to realize how much I missed being on tour. A huge part of me kicked into high gear, blissfully happy suddenly that the album was finished, so we could finally get back on the road.
Adrenaline coursed through me as I took my spot center stage and waited for the others to take their places. Waiting for the screams to die down some, I flashed my trademark smirk at the crowd and crooned into the mic.
“We’re really excited to be here. Thank you for coming out tonight.”
My words triggered another round of cheering, and I felt the persona slip for a second as I drank it all in. It still amazed me that people got this excited over us. Fucking imagine that!
In my periphery, I saw the rest of the band ready at their instruments. My cue to kick off this show. “We’ve got some new stuff for you.”
Dom was probably going to kick my ass later. We only had to perform three songs tonight and had only planned on playing one of the new ones, but I was changing the plan on the fly.
Fuck it. We’d worked hard on all our new stuff, and Alicia herself said she was leaving it up to us. This was meant to be a teaser performance, and as I pointed out to her, I fucking loved teasing. One song wasn’t going to do it for me, and from the sounds of things, it wasn’t going to satiate the crowd either.
Besides, no filming was allowed in the venue. It would be up to these fans to help us fuel the fires out there by spreading the word about whatever they heard in here. Even if a few bars or frames of our performing the songs leaked, it wasn’t like we were releasing it all at the same time to only these people.
“We can’t wait to hear what you think.” I spoke into the microphone over the sounds of Caleb’s guitar as he strummed the intro to the first song we’d agreed to. Dom fell in with him, and then we were off.
I launched into the song in perfect time, hitting every note and allowing the fever pitch of the energy in the room to fan the flames of my own energy.
After the first song, we played the second song we’d planned. One of the hits off the last album. The fans knew the words to this one, and a grin stretched on my lips as I lifted the mic to them and allowed them to lead us into the chorus.
We played hard, sweat dripping down our foreheads by the time the song was done. Holding up a finger to signal to the crowd that I needed a minute, I approached Dom’s kit, and the others met me there.
“I know what you’re going to ask,” Dom said, breathing hard before taking a long swig of water. “I’m good with playing one more of the new ones if everyone else is.”
In the fastest band meeting in history and surprisingly, the fastest we’d ever reached an agreement on anything relating to our music, we picked another track off the new album and went back to our positions.
Nick led us into this one, starting the intro as I launched the mic into the air and caught it right in time to start singing. The beat was electric and took ov
er the room, creating a tempestuous ripple through the crowd that caught and, by the time the second chorus rolled around, caused the fans to scream it right along with me.
For only playing three songs, we had the audience worked up into a frenzy. I wished we could stay and play the rest of the album, but it was time to wrap it up. Feeling like I’d been denied an orgasm, I raised the mic back to my lips after the cheering from the last song died down.
“That’s all we’ve got for you tonight, folks. It was a pleasure. If you liked it, keep an eye out for tickets for our upcoming tour. We hope to see you all there.”
I turned away from the fans and jogged offstage with the others before I launched into another song or gave in to the crowd begging for an encore. Performance blue balls, if that was a thing, I had it right now.
A roadie threw a towel at me as I hopped off the stage, and I caught it in one hand, wiping my brow and the back of my neck.
“Awesome fucking show!” Matt thumped my shoulder. He’d already pulled off his shirt and stuffed it into his back pocket. “Talk about a comeback.”
“I’d say,” Caleb agreed, his eyes alive in a way I hadn’t seen in a long time. Performing was in our blood, and though I was usually the only one interacting with the crowd, the others were as connected to the energy as I was. “That rocked.”
“Wonderful show, gentlemen,” Alicia’s smooth voice spoke from behind me. I spun to face her, the insane urge to scoop her up into my arms and kiss her until she was breathless almost too much to resist. I was dangerously close to saying fuck whoever was watching, she was my girl, and I didn’t care who knew it.
Nick stood next to me, toweling off with a huge grin on his face aimed right at Alicia. “What do you say? Proud of us like Gerry told us you had to be tonight?”
“Absolutely,” she agreed, beaming at each one of us. For the second time in as many days, I wanted to punch one of my bandmates for looking at her.
They were my best friends, my brothers, but they were also guys, and she was hot. And mine, but they didn’t know that for sure. They might’ve suspected, but as far as they knew for sure, she was fair game, a fact that was starting to bug me more and more by the day.
