A cold hand touches my cheek and I jump in surprise, but lean into the cool and soothing touch of the High Lady’s healing magic. I silently thank her as Brennan looks to Kane, who doesn’t look away from me. My eyes shift to him, as if he is going to answer and all of the breath leaves my lungs. My chest caves inward and a sudden crack resounds through my body and skull. Something, I never thought would happen, clicks into place. Kane chokes on his tongue as I realize he feels the same thing and I drop to my knees and vomit on the floor. The High Lady is quick to pull away her glittering gown, but Jax leans down, brushing away my hair. His fingers, dragging through my fiery waves feels so suddenly wrong.
I look up to Kane who just shakes and trembles like a kitten caught in a storm. He leans over to Brennan and whispers in his ear. Even my Fae hearing can’t pick up what he’s saying, but the High Lord nods, and Kane exits the throne room as fast as he can without running. Kane won’t make a scene, not here, not with me. I’m sick to my stomach at the thought.
Another round of retching begins and Brennan’s voice sounds distant. “It will take several days for the treaty to be written, feel free to enjoy everything the Winter Kingdom offers. And for now, Jax,” he looks at his first-born son, for the first time in who knows how long. “You are no longer exiled from the Winter Kingdom.”
I want to be happy, I want to hug Jax, but I know it’s wrong. Everything I ever did with Jax is wrong and will always be wrong. Kane, the arrogant, rude, handsome, yet insufferable heir to the Winter Kingdom will make my living here for the next several days harder than I can imagine. Because he’s my mate.
Chapter Seventeen
~Ariadae~
The accommodations that Lhys gave us are fit for a king. My bed is so big that I didn’t even feel Jax on its other end. Jax slept with me and for the first time the two of us were in bed together, he didn’t try to have sex with me. Even if he did, I would have denied it. Jax even being beneath the sheets beside me feels wrong. My heart knows it’s not him I’m supposed to lay next to, but my mind speaks other things…or does it? Kane is funny, but a quick flaring fire. He is similar to Jax in that sense, but Jax has been around for longer although he lies. Maybe Kane lies too, but I haven’t learned otherwise from his words. And besides, Jax left me in Elkwood.
I rise from the bed and head into the bathroom feeling sick to my stomach. It’s hard to pinpoint the source of my sickness, but I feel as if the thought of recent news is the cause. I step in the stone tub filled to the brim with steaming water. I vomited three more times this morning at the memory of yesterday. I don’t know why the thought makes me so sick. Just because I’m mated to Kane doesn’t mean I need to love him. I’ll do whatever I can to be with Jax, even if it means killing Kane.
I lean out of the tub as the acid floods from my stomach and splatters to the stone floor. Jax bangs open the door and I sink back into the water and hug my knees to my chest, shielding my body from his sight. “Are you alright? Are your cuts getting infected?” I shake my head and Jax grabs a rag to clean up the acid splashed upon the floor. I look away from him, away from his short black hair and ice blue eyes that make my belly spin. I peer out the clear windows that are along the side of the tub. The Winter Kingdom is made of stone, probably carved from Archaic Mountain itself. A large wall surrounds the many mansions, streets, and homes that go down the mountain side. Hundreds of wood-shingled buildings descend Archaic Mountain until they reach the wall that separates the kingdom from Elkwood. Just peaking over the other side of the wall are pine trees that seem to stretch on forever. I’m positive my window is facing south, towards the Mortal Kingdoms. A waltzing feather-light snow falls from the clouds that seem to be inches above the castle’s spires. I bet if I climbed to the top of the flag mast, at the peak of the tallest turret, I could feel the water droplets which form the floating fluff that blots and moves through the blue sky. I feel as if I’m at the top of the world, but also at rock bottom.
For a moment, I forget Jax’s presence, but the rippling water of the tub makes my head whip toward him, now naked, climbing into my bath. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Joining you,” he laughs as if it isn’t a problem at all, and he’s right. He doesn’t know what’s wrong and I don’t have the heart tell him. I have to start being better at hiding my discomfort. “Would you not like me to be with you?” a loaded question. Not a simple or normal question, but something pointed and waiting for my response. This decides if I forgive him of the lies he told in Equadoria. And I remind myself of the plan I created to love Jax and not Kane.
“No, you can join me,” I mutter and uncontrollably squeeze my body farther into the corner.
He sighs as he stretches out his legs. His big toe rubs my hip bone and I barely hide the recoil from his foreign touch. He doesn’t notice and I heave a sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought. I just need to remember I know Jax. He loves me; he even said so, before the mating bond. I begin to gag and choke the bile down. Jax doesn’t even glance away from the window and the view outside.
“What happened?” His voice makes my bones shudder. He knows something is off, but how naïve was I to believe I could hide something from him. He watched me grow up and knows everything about me, and he could likely smell my unease.
“What’re you talking about?” I play dumb as a ploy to pull his attention off of me.
He lifts a brow and looks into my eyes. “After I went to look for the fire wood I got lost, how did you find your way to the Winter Kingdom with my brother?” I almost cry out with relief that he isn’t questioning my current feelings, but instead what happened in Elkwood.
“I tried to find you, but then he found me,” I leave out the detail of the Umbra’s shifting into Jax and making me choose. I won’t tell him or anybody the choice I made. Kane had saved me from an imminent death from the Umbra.
“Then how did you end up having a gaping hole in your side and almost bleeding to death?”
I don’t have to hesitate, my answer practically springs off my tongue as fast as a Dreag’s pounce. “We were attacked by a Troglodyte and it chased me. Your brother and I got separated and I fell, far down the mountain, off a cliff into a nest.” I also refuse to say my mate’s name. It’ll only make me sick and I don’t think I have any more stomach acid left to give up. “When I broke through the thorns, I landed on a bone and it went through my side,” my hands shake at the memory of the feeling of morrow on morrow. I can still remember the reverberations of steel on bone from when my father killed me.
“What was inside the nest?”
“The Akuji,” I whisper his name as if I said it any louder the monster will arrive.
“WHAT?” He jumps from the tub and stands in the water, his manhood hanging a little too close for my liking. I ignore it completely and look up at his eyes. “How are you even alive?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter and look into the water. His body is reflected on the surface and I close my eyes, no longer wanting to stare at him. “I don’t remember much after that.”
Jax crouches down next to me and grabs my chin trying to make me look at him and I shake out of his grip. “What’s wrong with you today?”
I keep my back to him, covering my breasts with my arms as I climb out the tub, the air is frigidly cold against my skin. My body reacts with a thousand goosebumps and I quickly wrap the soft towel around myself. “I’m just sick of talking about it. And the bath.” I leave the bathroom and hear him sink back into the water before heaving a sigh.
I wring out my hair as best that I can and quickly get dressed into a long dress that fades from white to bright blue. It has a small train and hugs my curves nicely, my ribs stand out prominently and my breasts have become shamefully small since my reign as queen. Now, I understand why the High Lady had asked if Equadoria ran out of food when I awoke. At the thought, my stomach rumbles, begging for food, so I throw on a silvery blue cape, lined with brown fur. The cut on my cheek from the whip is
gone and I pull up my hood and run from the chamber before Jax can follow me.
I don’t know how I’m going to deal with these never-wracking problems. My mother is preparing for war, I found out I have a brother, my army has been murdered as was my court, I am trying to get an army, I almost died, my mate hates me, and I have an alliance growing with the Winter Kingdom. Although the latter isn’t a problem, it’s more of a necessity, and it still surprises me that Brennan was so open to the idea of creating the treaty.
Kane must’ve told him about us being mates because why else would the High Lord of the Winter Kingdom ally with Equadoria? My kingdom sadly offers nothing in return for his good graces, besides thanks. I don’t have much else. Not that I would admit that to Brennan until after signing the treaty. What he doesn’t know won’t bring harm to him.
I easily get lost in the maze of the Winter Kingdom castle. Its forever turning hallways and descending and ascending stairwells make the building impossible to map out. From somewhere off in the distance I hear Jax call my name, so I break into a sprint and find the nearest maid. The Faerie servant is human-like, besides the pointed ears and ethereal features. She reminds me of a Faerie version of Desirae, my personal servant back home. They have similar brown eyes, Jeremiah’s eyes. My gut twists and before I can begin to gag the servant takes me into a hidden passage, most likely used by the help, and we descend spiraling stairs to a wooden door. She opens it and the dark, musky servant’s passage fills with light flooding from the entrance hall. The grand chamber has a pyramidal ceiling with two curving flights of stairs meeting to a platform and spitting off hallways in different directions. Every stone block that makes up the walls and ceiling and fills the floor, are engraved with images; stories. Different swirls and spirals make me spin and scan every stone. I see the depiction a hand of fire touching the ground from the clouds. Prometheus. He gifted mankind with fire to further their advancement of life and later created the Tree of Light.
I move along the chamber staring at the different artworks of the gods. I find an image of a young women; a coronet of blooming roses encircles her head of rippling hair. Amare. I’ll never forget the face of the goddess of love and beauty.
“Ariadae?” My memories vanish in a flash and I glare up the stairs where Jax stands scanning the entry hall, looking for me. I am thankful for the hood of my cloak hiding my features, but ruling out the servants and males all around is making the scrambling crowd smaller and easier for him to find me. I mutely sigh and keep my head down as I basically run to the front doors that I pray exit the castle.
The outside air on the peak of Archaic Mountain sends my body into a state of shock. Ice freezes my veins and my lungs feel as if shards of glass have crawled within them. My body is frozen, morrow deep. I don’t understand how the other Fae that are happily milling about can wear tank tops or shorts, unless they were maybe born within the Winter Kingdom and the ice is already in their blood. Their bodies must be accustomed to the cold and chill that is permanent so high up the mountain.
I ignore the idea of myself being mated to the heir of the Winter Kingdom and focus on the tall grey stone buildings that seem to reach for the clouds. I can’t get over how close together they are.
I pull my cloak tighter around me and begin walking down the cobblestone road full of wagons, Faeries, and stores. The first shop I take interest in is a small café. What really draws my attention is the hearth in the corner of the wooden interior and I find myself walking through the double glass doors before I can look at any other stores. The warmth crawls along my bones and leaves pinpricks on my fingers and face. It feels like I’m using the Void, but when I check my hands they are clean of the purple smoke-like flames.
A rack next to the door holds what seems like hundreds of jackets, coats, cloaks, and capes, so I hang mine up along with them. A hush falls over the room and a chill slithers through my pores. When I turn around every pair of eyes is trained on me. None of the Faeries are trying to hide their stares, but instead sit openly and dominantly looking at me. I can’t read any of their faces. I ignore them even though it’s a lot harder than I ever thought possible, and walk to the small bar where a doe-eyed Fae barista stands, waiting for my order.
I glance over the menu very fast and pick the first thing that sounds remotely good.
“A small cup of the holly bean tea,” my voice is barely a whisper. I try to call for the queen voice within me, but it doesn’t come. The barista’s soft features contort to complete disgust. “What’s wrong?” I begin to wonder if the order isn’t good.
She shakes her head like a wet dog and replaces the disgust with a feign smile that doesn’t meet her eyes. “Good choice,” she answers. I hope so. I wonder what made her react so violently. I check my clothes and wipe my face before leaving the counter.
I find my own seat on a small sofa beside the hearth. Wool blankets are draped over the furniture and I pull the train of my dress around my legs on the couch and lay the blanket across my shaking body. In what feels like mere seconds, I’m again greeted by the barista with a steaming cup of holly scented amber. I thank her silently with a dip of my chin and stare into the liquid, a small holly leaf floats atop the surface and the glass saucer clatters loudly against my cup. More eyes flick my way and I put it down. It’s so cold on top of the mountain even the blanket and warm fire beside me don’t shake the chill from my bones. It’s irritating. I can’t wait to sign the treaty and head south where only two seasons exist; Spring and Summer. It’ll be dry and wet instead of frozen and bitter. It’ll be easier and harder all the same. The weather will be easier to travel in, but getting the Mortal Kingdoms to align with us will be almost impossible. But there is still a possibility, which is what’s dragging me all the way out here. And even if I don’t get a large army, I have to find soldiers to get Jeremiah back to me.
The door swings open and a roar of laughter fills the café. I, and every faerie in the chamber look toward the door. I’m greeted by a beautiful face. Eyes of ocean green flick around the room and hair of curling blonde-brown waves bounce with life. Kane is here. My mate has found me. I pull my eyes away from him and focus on the flames that are dancing between the logs in the stone fireplace. The slithering, orange-blue fingers spew a plume of dark smoke into the chimney which I can only imagine puffs the dark clouds into the sky. The fire burns thick and bright, like my hatred for the male now ordering something at the counter. The once silent café is now full of chatter and a piece of me is relieved for the attention he takes off of me. I inhale deeply and take a long sip from my cup. The holly bean tea was a good choice on my part. The sweet liquid is spiced with a sour flavor that makes an interesting blend of tastes bless my tongue.
Kane takes a seat across from me and my joyous sip chokes in my throat. I explode in a coughing fit and put the cup down before I spill all of the contents within. Of course he would sit right near me because he can finally look at me without his father around. His angular jaw and cheeks become flushed with worry. “Are you alright?” I nod and wave away his question. I don’t need his sorry excuse to seem kind or interested in my well-being. “We need to talk.” Not a polite question, but a demand. Although I almost shake my head in denial, I find my head nodding through the silence that follows.
“What is there to speak about?” Please don’t say it. I don’t want to talk about the snapping connection that bonded us, and continues to make me want to move closer to him. I love Jax, I want Jax, I think…
“Last night,” he whispers and looks around the room to make sure nobody is listening in on the conversation. “We mated.” Shit. I can’t avoid the truth anymore. Even if I push the questions away they’ll still come around later in time.
“You felt it too?” I ask trying to be a little oblivious. I don’t want to lead him on in anyway.
“Of course.”
“It doesn’t mean I love you, Kane. If that’s what you are here to discuss.” I’m in love with Jax. Never will I betray J
ax for his brother. That would be a cruel torture, especially now after everything he’s been through; the whipping and the punishment that will probably come one day or another.
Kane has the audacity to appear surprised, a lop-sided grin grows on his face and I want to claw it off with my grimy nails. “Why? Am I not good looking? From what I’ve been told I am quite the handsome fellow around here.” I scan the café and try to ignore the females, blushing and eyes full of lust. I roll my eyes.
“If this conversation is about your commenting on your own obsession with yourself, I’m going to either leave or vomit on you.” Kane wails with laughter and heat floods my cheeks and neck. Why is he even being nice after what he said to me in Elkwood? “Stop acting like we’re friends.”
“Are we not?”
“No, we are not friends. You are a sadistic asshole!” Someone gasps at the table behind me and I fight the urge to growl at the Faerie. Kane’s smirk vanishes and sorrow knits his brows together. I can tell I’ve hurt him and I hate to admit that I feel sorry about it. The words sigh from my lips, exasperated and tired, “I’m sorry, just after what you said in the forest, I find it hard to be open with you.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispers. His eyes fall to the cup of liquid in his lap, a prominent frown on his face, “I didn’t mean what I said in Elkwood. You were just judging me for something I am ashamed of and I didn’t know where else to strike besides the throat.”
I almost gasp with shock that he is insecure about killing the innocent faerie. It seems that both the Archaeminza brothers have hearts and have more in common than most would believe. “I can forgive, but I can never forget.” The same rule I have with Jax.
He looks up at me, his blue-green eyes filled with a blissful glow. “You really mean that?”
The Reign of Queens: A Kingdom of Diamond Antlers Novel Page 16
