Aric grabbed my arm. “I’m only going to say this one more time,” he said. “She is not my girlfriend.”
“That’s not what she’s telling everyone on campus.”
“She has issues,” he said. “I am not with her. Not the way you think I am.”
I desperately wanted to believe him. I just couldn’t. “If you’re not with her, why do you spend so much time with her?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Of course.”
“Soon,” he said. “I promise.”
I bit my bottom lip. “It hurts to see you.”
“I know. It hurts me even more than it hurts you.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” I said. “You seem like you’ve got the world at your fingertips. You always seem like that. I’m the one struggling and clawing just so I won’t drown under the weight of … everything.”
“Life is never going to be easy for you,” Aric said. “It will get better. I know it. I won’t let you drown.”
“You’re one of the reasons I’m drowning,” I said, fighting the urge to cry. “You know that.”
“I’m one of the reasons you’re treading water without a life raft in sight,” Aric said. “You won’t drown. You’re too strong.”
“I don’t feel strong.”
“That’s because you don’t see what I see.”
“And what do you see?”
Aric reached over, forcing me to face him head on. “When I look at you, I see the most sarcastic and frustrating woman I’ve ever met in my entire life. I see smiles and laughter – even if they’re missing right now. I see the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”
I couldn’t keep the laughter from bubbling up. “When did you get so womanish?”
“When I lost you,” Aric said.
I was uncomfortable with the expression on his face. It could only be described as yearning. “I can’t wait for you,” I said. “I have to move on. I can’t keep … treading water. I really will drown if I do.”
“Not yet,” Aric said. “Please, give me some time.”
“You keep saying that,” I said. “Every time I look at you, I remember Laura’s face when she died. I remember that you knew – and you did nothing. I’m not going to be able to get past that.”
“Don’t say that.”
“You have Caitlyn,” I said. “Don’t say you don’t. I know you’re lying. You’re just trying to make me feel better. I actually appreciate the effort. I’ve been holding onto you because … well … I’m not sure how to completely let you go. I have to try, though. I don’t know what that will entail, but I have to try.”
Aric gripped my arms tighter. “You don’t have to let me go. I don’t want you to let me go.”
I pulled away from him, even as my body protested the movement. “I don’t have a choice.” I moved toward the door. “I think you should go. Take the red devil with you.”
“Zoe.”
“What?”
“I don’t care if you let me go,” he said. “I won’t let you go.”
“You already have,” I said. “You did it last spring. I just keep pretending you didn’t. I have to accept it and move on. I guess that’s my new mission.”
Aric’s voice was small – but firm. “Your mission is to survive. You don’t have another mission. I choose to believe that this is going to work out – because I can’t imagine life if it doesn’t. So, do what you have to do.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to fix everything.”
It was a nice thought. Unfortunately, I think he was living in denial – the same place I’d been living for the past nine months. Part of me was still dwelling there. “Good luck.”
February
Twenty-Six
“Why don’t you just stay down?”
I was back training with the Academy – although my heart really wasn’t in it (not that it ever was). Mark was my sparring partner today, but he didn’t have the coordination to pose even a minor threat.
“I keep failing my physical tests,” Mark said. “I figured learning from you would help me pass.”
“What tests?”
Mark made a face. “You don’t have to take tests?”
Professor Blake hadn’t tried to make me take a test since freshman year. “No.”
“Every week we get rated on an academic and physical level,” Mark said. “If you fall below the eighty-percent mark on either, you’re banned from ops until you get those numbers back up. I don’t want to be banned from ops.”
I leaned back, stretching my arm across my body as I mulled Mark’s words. “I wonder why he’s not testing me.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re the prize pupil,” Mark teased.
That definitely wasn’t it. “What are they teaching you in class these days?”
“Just the basics,” Mark said, reaching out and accepting the bottle of water I handed to him.
“What are the basics?” Since I’d never been in a classroom setting here, I was understandably curious.
“Just the weaknesses of the supernaturals,” Mark said. “You know, stab a vampire in the heart, shoot a werewolf with a tranquilizer, and cut a witch’s head off.”
I tilted my head as I regarded him. “What?”
“Yeah, witches are the most dangerous beings out there,” Mark said. “They can’t be studied or learned from. They’re just evil.”
“I think there are different types of witches,” I said.
“No,” Mark said, shaking his head vehemently so his dirty-blond hair brushed his shoulders. “I aced that test. Witches are all evil.”
He had to be messing with me. “What about … like earth witches?”
“Those aren’t really witches,” Mark said. “Those are just Wiccan practitioners. There’s a difference.”
“And what’s the difference?”
“People who identify themselves as Wiccan are really just wannabes,” Mark explained. “Witches are magical – and evil.”
“And you have to cut off their heads to kill them?”
“Pretty much.”
This had to be the oddest conversation I’d had since my initial “chat” with Blake about the supernatural population on the campus. “How many classes are you taking here?”
“Two a week,” Mark said. “They change.”
“And … has anyone brought up my name?”
“You’re the talk of the Academy,” Mark said, grinning. “Everyone wants to get special treatment like you.”
“I bet,” I said. “What about the instructors? Do they say anything about me?”
Mark shrugged. “Not really.”
“What have they said about me?” I pressed.
“Just that you’re … temperamental.”
“What else.”
“That you’re spoiled.”
“And?”
“And you might be a little bit crazy,” Mark said, lowering his eyes in embarrassment. “I told them you weren’t crazy. I think there’s a lot of jealousy where you’re concerned.”
“Because I don’t have to go to classes?”
“And you’re treated as some sort of Holy Grail on this campus,” Mark added. “The monsters fear you and the hunters revere you.”
I leaned back against the table behind me. “Mark, can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Do you believe everything they’re telling you?”
“Of course,” he said. “Don’t you?”
“No.”
Mark’s eyebrows inched up his forehead. “You answered that pretty quickly.”
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately,” I said. “Nothing they’re doing here makes any sense. Nothing they’re teaching you makes any sense. There’s a reason they don’t want me in those classrooms – and it’s because I know differently, and they don’t want me to upset the other students.
“At first, I thought Blake didn’t think I
was smart enough to be in the classes,” I continued. “That’s not why he doesn’t want me interacting with most of the people here, though. He doesn’t want me to put any of his precious teachings in jeopardy by being the voice of reason.”
“How do you know you’re right?” Mark asked.
“Because I’ve … seen things.”
“Like the witches’ circle at the sorority house last spring?”
“It wasn’t a circle,” I said. “It was a pentagram.”
“It’s just a saying,” Mark said. “That’s the stuff you’re talking about, isn’t it?”
“Maybe a little,” I said. “That’s not all, though. I’ve seen werewolves, and I’ve seen vampires. I bet I’ve seen a lot more of them than most of the students here. Some of them are bad, yeah, but some of them aren’t. They’re teaching you guys that everything is black and white, and nothing in this world is black and white.”
“I think you’re wrong,” Mark said. “We were all created in God’s image. I believe that. He didn’t create vampires.”
“If you believe in God, then you have to believe he created all things – not just the things you want to believe in,” I said.
“Do you believe in God?” Mark’s eyes were bright and curious.
“I believe in good and evil,” I said. “I also believe in everything in between.”
“That’s not really an answer.”
“That’s the only answer I have.”
RAFAEL was waiting for me in the driveway when I pulled up to the house.
“Why are you waiting outside? Paris and Kelsey would have let you in the house.”
“Hello to you, too,” he grumbled.
“Hello,” I said, making a sarcastic face. “Why are you waiting outside? Aren’t you cold?”
“I don’t get cold,” he reminded me. “I’d rather be out here amongst the elements than in there listening to those people debate which Kardashian sister is the prettiest.”
“They’re all evil,” I said.
“At least we agree on that.”
I looked him over. He hadn’t been hanging around as often these days, whether that was by personal choice or necessity, I wasn’t sure. “What have you been up to?”
“I’ve been meeting with some contacts I have,” he said. “I’ve been trying to get a feeling for what the Academy is up to.”
“And?”
“And I don’t like it,” he said. “They’re amassing an army over there. You must have noticed.”
“Blake only allows a handful of his favorites to come into contact with me,” I said. “The only one I can even tolerate is Mark, and he’s definitely starting to lose personality appeal. The only reason I think Blake has kept him in the mix is because we’re friendly, and he’s hoping Mark’s presence will somehow placate me.”
“What happened today?”
I recounted my afternoon conversation. Rafael didn’t look half as upset as I felt when I was done.
“He’s narrow minded. Did you expect anything different?”
“Maybe.”
“I think you’re right about Blake’s motivations for keeping you out of the classroom,” he said. “I think he’s worried you’ll turn some of his devotees and make them question his authority.”
“Isn’t that what people our age are supposed to do? Question authority, I mean.”
“Yes.”
“So, why aren’t any of these people doing it?”
“Some people question things,” he replied. “Others follow.”
“Well, I’m not a follower,” I said. “So why is Blake so desperate to keep me in the fold?”
“Because you represent power,” Rafael said. “Blake is hoping he can tap that power. He knows he can’t control you; he’s merely hoping he can convince you to do his bidding when the time comes.”
I bit my bottom lip. It was time for another discussion. “What do you know about resurrection stones?”
Rafael furrowed his brow. “Why do you ask that?”
“Because … um … well… .”
“Oh, just spit it out,” he said. “I know you’ve been hiding something. Is this it?”
“A couple months ago, Blake sent me on an op with this tool named Paul,” I said. “We were supposed to steal a necklace from the Alpha Chi house while they were having a meeting.”
Rafael’s face was immovable as he waited for me to continue.
“So, we broke in and separated,” I said. “Paul went upstairs and I went downstairs.”
Rafael remained silent.
“I found something in Will’s room,” I said. “It was a really gaudy gold thing with a big blue stone.”
“And it was in Will’s room?” Rafael’s eyes were curious. “Why would they trust him with something of value?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “That’s another problem. He’s never had any real power before.”
“Perhaps he still doesn’t,” he said. “Perhaps he’s trying to garner power to maneuver himself into a different position.”
“Maybe,” I said. “Anyway, when I brought the necklace home and showed it to Paris, she thought she recognized it, although she couldn’t remember from where. She had her mom do some research, and that’s when we found out it was a resurrection stone.”
Rafael was more animated now. “You stole it?”
“I just didn’t think I should leave it with them,” I said. “And I certainly wasn’t going to give it to the Academy.”
“And where is it now?”
“Hidden.”
“Hidden here?”
“Maybe.”
Rafael sighed. “Do you know which stone it is?”
I shook my head. “I thought there was only one.”
“There are multiple stones,” he said. “I believe the blue one is from Greece.”
“Paris said it was Egyptian, not that it makes a difference. How did it get here?”
“That’s a very good question,” he said. “The fact that the Greek stone is here is … interesting.”
I made a raspberry sound with my lips. “You’re always so cryptic.”
“That was charming,” Rafael said, frowning.
I made the sound again. “Why are you so caught up with the stone being Greek?”
“Because I was under the impression that the Greek stone was destroyed centuries ago,” Rafael said. “If it’s here, then someone went through a lot of trouble to get it. What really worries me is Will. He must know the stone is gone. Why isn’t he trying to find it?”
“He might not know it’s gone,” I said. “I left the box and just took the necklace.”
“Only an idiot would leave something that valuable out for someone to take,” Rafael said. “I hope you’ve hidden it better.”
“I have.”
“You’re not going to tell me where, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
“Why?”
“The less I know, the better,” he said. “There’s no way Blake knows you have it, is there?”
“No. Paul thinks I’m an idiot. He had no idea I pocketed it.”
“That puts us in a position of power,” Rafael said. “We just have to figure out what to do with that power.”
“Something tells me that trouble is going to find us one way or the other,” I said.
“I don’t disagree. We have to be ready when it does.”
I was quiet for a moment, my gaze traveling to the clear moon in the sky. “I’m considering leaving the Academy.”
“That would have made me happy before tonight,” Rafael said. “I think you need to wait now.”
“Why?”
“Just keep your ears to the ground,” Rafael said. “When you leave the Academy, it will be quick. Keep your position – just for now. Blake seems content to let you wander around and pick the ops you want to participate in. Choose carefully.”
“Do you think he wants to kill me?”
“I think he wants to use you as a weapon,” Rafael said. “He will eventually realize that won’t happen. That’s when we need to worry.”
“And you don’t think he’s there yet?”
“Not yet.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’m not sure how long I can last, though.”
“You can only do as much as you can do,” Rafael said. “I now have another avenue of investigation, too. Let’s see if we can press our advantage without tipping our hand, shall we?”
Twenty-Seven
“I don’t understand why we picked such an old book,” Caitlyn complained. “It was really boring.”
“It’s a classic,” said Beth, one of the other members of our women’s fiction reader’s circle. “We all agreed.”
“I didn’t agree,” Caitlyn said. “You decided without me.”
“That’s because you skip class whenever you can,” I said. “If you want to vote, you have to show up to the polls.”
Caitlyn narrowed her eyes. “I don’t like you.”
I mimed crying.
Beth turned to Matilda. “What did you think of it?”
“I liked Mr. Darcy,” Matilda said, her boy-crazy nature coming out to play. “I bet he was hot.”
“He wasn’t real,” Beth said. “This is fiction.”
“I know,” Matilda said. “I still bet he was hot.”
“You should rent the movie they did a couple of years ago,” I said. “It was pretty good.”
Beth’s green eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Did you actually read the book, or did you just watch the movie?”
“I’m insulted,” I said. Of course I’d just watched the movie. I was acting as a double agent on a campus littered with vampires and werewolves. Who has time for reading old books?
“I’m telling,” Caitlyn said. “I’m sure the professor would like to know that you’re not really doing the homework. I bet you picked this book just because there was a movie.”
She wasn’t wrong. I still hated her. “Go ahead,” I said. “I’d like to hear what she says when we point out that the reason you didn’t get to vote on the book is because you keep skipping class.”
Caitlyn scowled. “I really hate you.”
“I think the feeling is mutual,” Matilda said. “And, if we’re voting now, I’m on Zoe’s side.”
4 Waxing & Waning Page 17
