by Tynessa
I was trying my best to keep my hands clean, but with dumb ass niggas like my brother, I had no other choice but to get the shit dirty. I wondered after all these years, what made him wanna shove that shit up his nose. I didn’t get it. All I knew was, I was going to get him some help before it got worse. I refused to have my big brother walking around strung out on drugs.
I could have just shut shit down and got out the game, but it wasn’t that simple to me. We were not hurting for no money or no shit like that. I didn’t know about Jay, but I had enough money that would last me and about ten other mothafuckas a lifetime. I seriously doubted my brother was sitting pretty like that, but hey, what’s mines is his.
After leaving all our trap houses, I stopped by to check on my mom before heading home. It had been a long day and all I wanted to do was get some much-needed sleep and not think about today’s events.
Chapter 22
Lesson Learned!
Tangela
2 months later
I rushed to the hospital after receiving the call from Asia that Ms. Jackie had to be transported. I could only imagine what Quintez was going through—Jay too—but everybody knew Ms. Jackie was Quintez’s heart. That boy worshipped the ground she walked on and there was nothing wrong with that. I loved their relationship. Shit, I envied it, to be honest. I wished my mama was still alive, because, there was nothing like a mother’s love.
Walking into the waiting room, I spotted Quintez, instantly. He was sitting with his head, resting in his hands as his legs shook uncontrollably. Poor baby! I so badly wanted to go over and comfort him. I was having this urge to just walk over and hug him. I wanted to rock him in my arms and let him know that everything was going to be okay and if he needed a shoulder to cry on, then there was mines. I needed Quintez to know that I was here for him. However, I couldn’t do any of that because his wack ass girlfriend was consoling him. I would be lying if I said my feelings weren’t hurt, but hey, what could I do about it?
“Hey, boo. You okay?” I was so in a trance that I didn’t even see Asia walk up. She knew I wasn’t feeling being in the same room with Quintez and his girl; the same girl he repeatedly stressed to me that he didn’t want to have anything to do with. It shouldn’t even have mattered to me being that I was still gonna be with Kacey once he was released, but it did.
Don’t get me wrong; I wished I could be with Quintez, but he had announced on numerous occasions that he wasn’t ready to commit to anyone. I didn’t have time for his fear of commitment ass. I was damn 24 years old, too damn grown to be playing childish ass games. That was mainly the reason I was staying with Kacey. I already knew where his head was.
“Yeah, I’m good,” I lied. No, I wasn’t good, but I wasn’t leaving, either. Asia gave me a look letting me know she knew the truth. “So what did they say?” I asked, changing the subject. Tears began to roll down her face as she took a deep breath. I knew then that she was about to deliver some bad news.
“They don’t think she’s going to make it throughout the night,” Asia informed me. I couldn’t hold back the scream that escaped my mouth nor the tears as they rolled down my cheeks, swiftly.
“No, no, no,” was all I could say as my head shook from left to right. Since Jay’vion had introduced us to his mother, Ms. Jackie took me and Asia into her wing and treated us like daughters. Whenever we had problems or needed her for anything she was there.
“I got her,” I heard the familiar voice say from behind, then he took me into his strong arms. Though Quintez’s voice was filled with nothing but hurt, I still recognized it.
“Shhh. It’s okay.” He rocked me from side to side while rubbing my back. “Would you like to see her before its too late?” he then asked. Unable to speak, I just nodded my head. I didn’t know if I could handle seeing Ms. Jackie on her deathbed, but I had to go back there.
Quintez walked me back to the room that his mother laid in, leaving his girl behind. As we stood in front of the door in the ICU where her room was located, my legs became weak. I felt as if I was going to go crumbling to the ground, but of course Quintez was right there to catch me.
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked me. Again, I just nodded my head. Entering the room, Jay’vion was sitting right beside Ms. Jackie holding her hand. He didn’t even bother to look up.
I stood at the door as I silently cried. Ms. Jackie looked as if she was in a peaceful sleep. I knew she wasn’t gone just yet, but I felt in my heart that it would only be a matter of time before she left us. No longer able to take it, I left out the room. Quintez tried to come after me, but I stopped him. I met Asia in the hallway and let her know I was leaving. I just wanted to be alone. My heart was so heavy and it felt as if I was losing a second mom.
Later on that night, I was lying in bed after one of the many phone calls from Kacey. We were having one of our conversations about marriage. In three years when he gets out he wants us to go ahead and go to the courthouse and tie the knot. I didn’t want a courthouse wedding but he promised we could do it big once he got his money right. That was cool with me but I would be coming clean and leave it up to him to decide if he still wanted to go through with it or not.
The sound of someone knocking at my door brought me out my thoughts. Who could this be an eleven at night? To my surprise it was Quintez. Tonight at the hospital was the first time I’d spoken to him since we decided to stop fucking around.
“Hey,” I spoke softly. “W-what are you doing here?” I then asked.
“Can I come in?” he asked me. He looked so defeated that my heart went out to him. I knew what it was like to lose your mother, so I could relate to him on so many levels. I moved aside to let him in and he went straight to the couch and took a seat.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I sat beside him. Leaning his head against the back of the sofa, Quintez, sighed heavily.
“Man, this shit is hard.” He ran his hands down his face. Licking his full lips, he looked over at me. “What about you? You good?”
“Yeah. I just wasn’t prepared to go through this a second time. It’s like I’m losing my mother all over again.” The tears begin flowing from my eyes. Though we knew this day was coming I still wasn’t prepared for it.
“Come here.” Quintez pulled me into his arms and positioned me so that I was leaning over on his chest while I silently cried. “Come on, li’l mama. I know it’s hard, but we all knew this day was coming. Just look at it as she’s going to a better place. No more fighting and no more pain,” he explained in a hushed tone. I took a deep breath to get myself together because Quintez was right. It wasn’t until I felt wetness hit my face that I looked up just as he was wiping his face.
“It’s okay, baby. You can let it out.” I hugged him. I needed him to know that it was okay to cry in front of me. Me judging him was something he never had to worry about.
For ten minutes, I sat consoling Quintez as he cried in my arms. I was doing what his bitch should’ve been doing. Because we were cool and I loved his mama, I didn’t mind at all.
“Are you hungry or anything?” I asked when he returned from the bathroom.
“Nah, I’m good.” He took his seat back on the couch. “Thank you.”
“There’s no need to thank me, Quintez. That’s what friends are for, right?!”
He gave a light chuckle. “Right,” he said. There was an awkward silence for a good two to three minutes until out of nowhere, Quintez asked, “So how your nigga doing?”
Was this a trick question? He knew damn well he didn’t give a damn one way or the other how Kacey was doing.
“He’s good. Why you ask that?” I wanted to know.
“I was just asking. Did you tell him you’d been fucking around on him?” his ignorant ass asked with a smirk on his face. It was good to see him smiling but he was about to get cursed out.
“I’ll tell him when you tell yo’ bitch,” I shot back.
“First of all, that ho ain’t my bitch and she already know t
hat. Bree know I don’t want her.”
“Yeah, yeah. You ain’t gots to lie, Craig! You ain’t gots to lie!” I said, reciting the words ol’ girl said to Ice Cube on the movie Friday.
“Shawty, I have no reason to lie to you or nann other bitch.”
“Bitch?” I was about ready to go upside this nigga head.
“Man, you know I ain’t calling you a bitch so chill out. But Bree knows what’s up. I only fuck with her because her pussy is convenient. Maybe if you stop acting stingy with yo’ shit then I’ll stop fucking with her.” He laughed as he pulled me into his arms. I tried to move back before he could grab me, but I was too slow.
“Move, Quintez!” I shouted while trying not to laugh as he picked me up. See, this was the reason it was hard to not fall in love with him. It was always fun times when we would chill together and I missed that.
“Nah, since you wanna act all stingy with the pussy, I’ma teach you a lesson.” He carried me to my bedroom where he threw me on the bed, roughly.
“Ouch…I don’t know why you bringing me back here. I am not about to have sex with you,” I tried to convince him. I don’t think he was buying it though because he laughed.
“See what I mean? You stingy as fuck, now,” Quintez chuckled while shaking his head—all the while his hand was roaming my body. He knew how and where to touch me to get my body to react.
“You can shake your big ass head all you want but I’m not about to have sex with you. You have a girl, so go fuck her convenient ass pussy.” I still wasn’t trying to hear the ‘that’s not my girl’ bullshit. Tonight at the hospital wasn’t the first time I’d seen them together.
“I already told you that isn’t my girl. How many times do I have to tell you that?” The attitude in his voice didn’t go unnoticed when he said that, so I decided to leave it alone.
Quintez’s kiss held so much passion that it sucked the life right out of me. My hand went to the back of his head, pulling him in deeper. I wanted to give him just as much of me as he was giving of him. Once he pulled back he just stared at me and said nothing.
“I love you!” I didn’t regret the words as they left my mouth because they were true. I’d fallen in love with Quintez and I wanted him to know.
I felt his body tense up, then he placed a soft kiss on my lips once again before continuing his trail down my body. Removing my gown, followed by my panties, he kissed my inner thigh and out of nowhere he ran his tongue over my entire love box before grabbing my pearl and nibbling on it. Quintez then flicked his tongue over my clit fast, then slow only to speed right back up. That shit was driving me crazy. He then begin fucking me with his tongue before replacing it with two of his fingers. The whole time he was sexing me with his fingers, he was working wonders with his tongue on my clit. I swear, I was about to go insane.
“Oh my God, baby. I’m about to cum, Quintez. Please don’t stop,” I cried out.
“Cum for me, baby. Don’t hold back,” he mumbled against my pussy, causing it to tingle. Placing my hand on the back of his head, I held it steady as I came right in his mouth. He wasted no time, licking it all up. Shit!
All this was new to me. Quintez and I had never shared a kissed before, let alone him eating my pussy. He said, that was how feelings got involved, by kissing. So we had a no kissing rule. I was cool with that, but unfortunately, it didn’t stop my feelings from getting involved.
Quintez made love to my body like he never had before. It was slow and intense, and he tended to my every need. I didn’t know if it was me or what, but something about the way he sexed me this time was different from all the other times.
Once we were finished, I went inside the bathroom to clean myself. When I returned, Quintez was laid across my bed with his eyes closed. Smiling, I crawled beside him and began stroking his face. I was in a damn dilemma and I didn’t know what I was going to do about it. My heart is with, Kacey—or so I thought—but I had fallen for, Quintez and I had fallen hard.
“I’m so in love with you!” I kissed his lips, softly. He stirred but didn’t open his eyes. Again, I didn’t regret letting him know that. I knew I was putting myself out there for failure by telling him when I didn’t have a clue how he felt about me, but I didn’t care. I was never one to hold my tongue. I’d grown feelings for Quintez, and I was tired of pretending they weren’t there. Now, it was up to him to make the next move.
Chapter 23
Hard To Say Good-Bye!
Asia
It was kind of awkward riding in the family car with Jay’vion and his family. I really didn’t want to, but he asked and there was no way I could say no. No matter what me and Jay’vion went through, I would never turn my back on him. I loved, Ms. Jackie and I knew she would’ve wanted me right by her son’s side.
The funeral was the saddest. It always broke my heart to see anyone lose a loved one, especially their mother. I watched Tan deal with the loss of her parents, now I had to watch, Jay and Tez deal with this. My heart definitely went out to them. This was something I never wished on anyone nor did I ever want to experience this kind of hurt and pain.
“Hey, baby,” my mother said as she kissed me on both cheeks. My mom and Ms. Jackie only met once but they’d talked on the phone a lot. Though my mom didn’t care for Jay’vion that much, she loved herself some Ms. Jackie. The only reason she disliked Jay was because of his hoish ways. I’d cried on the phone with her so much that she was familiar with the things Jay and me went through.
“Hey, Ma.” I hugged her back, breaking my stare from the sight that was in front of me.
“I guess he’s holding up good.” She was referring to Jay as he stood by the front door talking to some brown-skinned chick. They looked to be in a heated argument. A part of me was hurt that he would invite another bitch to his mother’s funeral but there was nothing I could do about it. After all, it was his mother so who was I to dictate who could and could not come?
“Yeah,” was all I said.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m good. When does your flight leave?” If I didn’t change the subject my mom would’ve went on and on about the situation, but I guess that was my fault for telling her all my business. She looked down at her watch and informed me that it was due to leave in a couple of hours.
“So I need to be getting going. Come walk me out,” she said. When we got outside, Jay was walking back to the porch by himself, so I assumed his girl had just left.
“Hey, Ms. Lena,” he spoke to my mom. Though she didn’t care for him that much, she didn’t do things such as ignore him when he would speak or try to make conversation with her. They’d even had a phone conversation a time or two. My mom just didn’t like how he did me and I totally understood that. Me and Tan were her heart and she only wanted the best for us.
“Hey, Jay. How are you holding up?” she asked him as they one-arm hugged.
“I’m good. Thanks for asking. Are you leaving?” Though he was talking to her, he was staring directly at me.
“Yeah, I’m about to take off, but I will keep you and your brother in my prayers.”
Jay’vion nodded his head as they hugged once again before he walked off. I walked my mom to her rental where we held a short conversation before she took off. I promised her that Tan and I would come visit her soon and she let me know that she was going to hold me to that. As soon as I made it inside the house Ms. Jackie lived at before she passed, Jay’vion, pulled me into his arms.
“Can I talk to you in private for a minute?” he asked.
My first instinct was to go off on him. He was just in some bitch’s face and now that she was gone he thought he was going to be in mines. I think not!
“Please,” he said with pleading eyes once he noticed I wasn’t budging. I kept my composure as I let him lead the way to one of the back rooms. The only reason I didn’t object was because of the many people that were there due to the repast. Once we got to the room, I went and sat on the bed while Jay stood by the doo
r.
“I just wanna thank you for today. You being here means a lot to me.” In his voice, there was so much peacefulness.
“There’s no other place I would have rather been, Jay. You know how much your mama meant to me, so why wouldn’t I have been here?” I said honestly. He just nodded his head up and down but didn’t say anything back. He stared at me while in deep thoughts.
“So what’s up?” I asked, breaking the silence.
Walking over to the bed, he took a seat next to me. “I miss you so much, Asia. I know I might’ve put you through a lot and all I can do is apologize for it. I wish I could take back the things I’ve said and done to you but I can’t. All we can do is move forwards and put it all behind us. These past few months have been hell for me. I don’t know if my brother told you or not but a nigga has been so fucked up since you been gone, baby. I don’t wanna go into details but just know a nigga was fucked all the way up without you.” He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips. “I love you and I need you.”
Games! All the shit Jay’vion was spitting was just that—games! Games, which I didn’t care to hear. I was so over him. All the hurt and pain wasn’t worth it. I loved him and probably always would. Did I want to be with him? Hell to the no!
“Jay, please don’t do this,” I said with a shake of my head. “I love you but I can’t be with you—I will not be with you. What we had is over and I’m over you.” Though I was trying to convince him, I wasn’t so sure if I was over him, myself. I wasn’t over him! Jay still held a spot in my heart but, because I knew he would always be the same low down dirty Jay’vion, it wouldn’t allow me to set myself up only to be hurt and heartbroken again.
