by Mandy Magro
Matilda turned in her seat, her eyes glaring and her arms folded defensively. ‘Do you ever stop to think that some people might not want your help?’
His sister’s face flashed before his eyes. He instinctively blinked as though trying to shut the image out. ‘No, I don’t. It’s in my nature to offer a hand where I can.’
‘See, that’s the problem here, Ryan. You didn’t offer, you just did what you thought was best, and that pisses me off.’
She had a point. He shrugged, not knowing what to say. Hell, he hadn’t even told her the worst yet. He noticed her hands were shaking in her lap as she turned to look out her window. He longed to reach over and calm her.
‘Can you please stop the car?’ It was said through gritted teeth.
He’d heard her but it made no sense. Why would she want to stop halfway down his parents’ drive? ‘Hey?’
‘I said, stop the goddamn car, Ryan.’ Her whole body was shaking. He did as he was ordered and watched with a bleeding heart as Tilly scrambled from the passenger seat while gasping for breath. Was she having an asthma attack? Jumping out, he ran around the front and saw her bent over with her arms wrapped around her body, shivering as if she’d been locked in a freezer. He put an arm around her but she straightened up and pushed him away.
‘Leave me alone.’
Her words burnt him as though he’d jumped into a fire. He felt he deserved it too. He stepped back, his hands still reaching for her. ‘Please, Tilly, let me help you.’
She glared at him. ‘I did and look where that’s got me.’
He didn’t know how to respond.
Drawing in deep, slow breaths, Matilda closed her eyes and was saying something he couldn’t quite hear … about welcoming something and giving her more. This was getting weird. What was she talking about? He remained silent, watching as the trembling in her body gradually stopped. She sat down on the grass; her eyes still closed as she wrapped her arms around her legs and hugged them to her chest. Feeling helpless, he began to pace in circles, while at the same time wishing he could take her into his arms and tenderly ease out the fear and hurt.
A few minutes later she spoke, this time calmer and softer, although in a cold detached way. ‘Sorry, I was having a panic attack.’ She didn’t look him in the eyes.
His heart sank even further. ‘Oh no, really? All because of me.’
‘Yes and no.’ Her voice was laced with bitterness.
‘Samara has panic attacks, has done since her mum died, so I kind of understand what you’re going through.’
‘I know she does, your mother just told me.’
Ryan hesitantly crouched down beside her. ‘I’m so sorry, Tilly. I really thought I was doing the right thing. I was going to have the old Landcruiser fixed so you had something to get around in. That’s all. Nothing sinister, no agenda and nothing expected in return.’
She looked off into the distance, as though haunted. ‘Where’s my car?’
‘See, that’s the thing, Tilly. It’s not your car, is it?’ He hated asking, hated this conversation, hated this entire situation he’d just got Tilly into.
Her gaze widened, as though she’d been given a shot of adrenaline. ‘How the hell do you know that? Have you checked up on me or something?’
‘No, of course not, why would I?’ He sighed heavily as he sat down beside her. ‘When Ben got back to the workshop with it, the town copper was there and apparently the car had been reported as stolen.’
‘That bastard.’ Matilda jumped up as though she’d been sitting on a thorn. ‘How could he after what he tried to do to me?’
‘Now that’s a very good point, but it gets worse, Tilly.’ Ryan grimaced as he took off his hat and wiped the sweat from his brow.
‘What could be any worse, Ryan, other than the fact I’m driving a reportedly stolen car and the man I was running from, the man who threatened to kill me if I ever tried leaving him by the way, will now know exactly where I am?’ She angrily brushed away the tears that were falling from her cheeks, and looked at Ryan as though he were the archenemy.
A rage coursed through Ryan with the knowledge that this lowlife scumbag had threatened to kill her. Not wanting to seem that he was directing this anger at Tilly, he remained silent and looked away. His mind flashed back to the days leading up to his sister’s death, to the horrible moment when he found her lifeless body in a pool of blood, and to what had followed. His already broken heart cracked that little bit more with the recollection of telling Samara that her mother and father were dead. He could not forget her crumbling to the floor and weeping like he’d never heard anyone weep before. It had damn near killed him. Trying to calm himself, he took a few measured breaths before standing up. He then turned and captured Matilda’s gaze, praying to God she could see the genuine concern in his eyes and not the rage that was coursing through his veins. ‘I promise you, Tilly, with everything I’ve got, that I won’t let him hurt you ever again.’
‘How do you propose to do that? You can’t watch me twenty-four-seven, Ryan.’
‘Please, Tilly, take my word for it. If he comes anywhere near you I’ll …’ His anger and emotions threatened to overcome him. He spun around so she couldn’t witness him breaking as he tried to come to grips. ‘Hell,’ he muttered as he hung his head in his hands.
‘You’ll what, Ryan? Kill him?’
Ryan knew it was in him if it came to it. ‘Like I said, I promise he’ll never hurt you again, and when I make a promise, I stick to it.’ He was relieved his back was to her because he didn’t want her to see the wrath in his eyes.
Her hand came down softly on his back, making him jump. ‘Thank you, Ryan, for wanting to protect me.’ She tugged his shoulder, trying to turn him to face her, so he did. Her face had softened, so too had her voice. ‘But I can’t let you risk your own life, or do something that could risk you going to jail, for me.’
‘Depending on what happens, you might not have a say in that, Tilly.’
‘Well, let’s hope it doesn’t, because I’d never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you, or anyone else for that matter, because of my crazy ex.’
‘Yeah, well, trust me when I say, if I stood back and let him hurt you, neither would I.’
Her eyes searched his. She sucked in a deep breath then said, ‘Well, there is one positive in all of this, I suppose.’
‘Yeah, and what’s that?’
‘I didn’t kill Troy when I smashed him over the head with a cast-iron frypan.’
‘You thought you might have killed him?’
‘Uh huh. Does that make me a bad person?’
‘No way, it makes you a woman running scared for her life, that’s all.’ Ryan reached out and gave her arm a squeeze. ‘Good on you fighting back … that would have taken a hell of a lot of courage.’
‘Thanks, Ryan, but I just did what I had to do to survive—courage didn’t really have anything to do with it.’ She sniffled and then straightened her shoulders. ‘So tell me, how does this story get any worse?’
‘The bloke that reported it stolen has also told the police that you attacked him and left him for dead, which at first I thought might have been a pile of lies but after what you just told me …’ He looked into her eyes. If there were flames of anger in them before, there was an out-of-control bushfire in them now. ‘Not that you have anything to be worried about because it was self-defence.’
Matilda stepped back and looked to the sky, blinking fast. ‘What the fuck? He’s the one that held a knife to my throat. I was so scared I’d killed him, and even prayed I hadn’t, but now I kind of wish he’d died.’
‘It’s no wonder you feel like that.’ Ryan stepped towards her and placed his hands on her shoulders, relief filling him when she allowed them to stay there. ‘Sergeant Fuller is coming out to Heartsong to question you about it all soon.’ He gently ran his thumb over her bruises, careful not to hurt her. ‘You have the marks to prove it was self-defence, Tilly, and I’ll back you
up all the way.’
‘I’d rather you were not in the room when he questions me.’ Her eyes were filled with so much pain and so much fear, Ryan swore he could almost hear his heart split in two. She looked away from him. ‘You don’t need to hear all the terrible details of my past.’
He cupped her cheeks and gently turned her back to face him. ‘I know Sergeant Fuller really well. He’ll believe you more if I’m with you, backing your story up by telling him when and where I picked you up from.’
Biting her bottom lip, Tilly took a few moments before she nodded. ‘Okay. If that’s going to help me prove my innocence, then so be it.’
CHAPTER
9
The sound of tyres crunching on gravel announced Sergeant Fuller’s arrival. Feeling as though she were about to jump off a cliff with no idea how far she’d fall or whether it would be a soft landing or a tumble to her demise, Matilda’s heart beat wildly. She really didn’t want to do this and wished she could do what she used to as a child when things got too much, which was to hide under her doona or in a cupboard.
She sat on the couch with a hot chocolate in her hands and her legs curled up beneath her, and looked to Ryan, seated beside her, to try to gather some sort of unspoken comfort. He gave her a slow and steady half-smile. She watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down but other than that there were no signs of any nerves. This man was made of steel. Huckleberry stirred on his rug in the corner with the sound of the car approaching. She pointed at him and firmly told him to stay put. He did as she said, and with his head resting on his paws, watched her from beneath a wrinkled brow. He knew something was going on. She swore he was more human than dog.
Ryan gently placed his hand on her back. ‘It’s going to be okay, Tilly. You and me, together, we got this. Don’t forget, you’re the victim here, not Troy, and the sergeant will see that pretty damn quickly. He deals with this sort of stuff all the time so he’s not blind to the truth.’
Ryan’s reassuring words and confident gaze helped ease some of her nerves. She nodded, unable to speak for the lump rapidly forming in her throat. She really needed to keep herself together, because falling apart would not do her any favours. She needed her wits about her so as not to sound like a babbling fool. She had to make some sort of sense to the police officer.
She’d made sure to wash off the make-up she had applied earlier that morning before going to visit Ryan’s family—embarrassed by her injuries, she hadn’t wanted them to see what Troy had done. Now the black and purple bruises were clearly visible. It was the best evidence she had, other than the scars on her abdomen. But although Troy had caused the burn marks, she had no actual proof. As far as the police officer was concerned, anyone could have done it. It would be her word against Troy’s, and she was well aware that was going to be the case now.
Silence hung heavily in the lounge room. Outside, a car door slammed shut followed by heavy footfalls up the steps and along the verandah. Three firm raps at the door brought Ryan to his feet and Matilda’s racing heart to an abrupt stop. She dared not breathe. Giving her one last reassuring smile, Ryan headed out. Matilda strained to hear what the men were saying, but their voices were hushed. Before she had time to gather herself they were walking into the room. She placed her empty cup on the coffee table with trembling hands. The sight of the police officer’s uniform and the gun holstered at his side almost brought her undone, but she summoned all the strength she had and stood on shaky legs. Before she could stop him, Huckleberry scampered over and sniffed the stranger’s boots. Unperturbed, the sergeant smiled as he crouched down and gave him a quick pat on the head. Matilda noted Huckleberry’s wagging tail as she hurriedly told her canine mate to get back to his rug.
‘Tilly, this is Sergeant Fuller.’
The hulking middle-aged man made Ryan look small beside him. ‘Hello,’ she said, her voice soft and squeaky.
He gave her a tight-lipped smile. ‘Hi, Miss Denver. From what Ryan has told me I gather you understand why I am here today?’
‘Yes, Sergeant Fuller, I do.’ She clasped her hands in front of her.
He nodded. ‘Good.’
Ryan motioned to a lounge chair opposite the couch. ‘Take a seat, Sergeant. Would you like a cuppa or a glass of water before we start?’
‘I’ve already had my fair share of coffee this morning so just a glass of water will be fine, thanks, Ryan.’ The police officer folded his big hands in his lap.
‘Righto, be back in a sec.’
Matilda sat again, straight-backed and with her feet planted firmly on the floor. Trying to think of something to say, anything to break the unnerving silence in the room, she cleared her throat one too many times as she decided that the ceiling could do with a lick of paint.
Sergeant Fuller breathed out heavily as he gave her an understanding look. ‘I know this isn’t the most comfortable of situations, Miss Denver. Would you like me to start, or would you rather me wait until Ryan gets back?’
‘That’s completely up to you.’ It was a silly thing, but the fact he acknowledged she was feeling uncomfortable calmed her a little. It made him more human and less like the Terminator. ‘I really don’t mind either way.’
He pulled a notepad and pen from his top pocket. ‘Righto, let’s make a start then, shall we?’
‘Okay by me.’
‘Can I call you Matilda or would you rather Miss Denver?’
‘I’d much prefer Tilly, if that’s okay with you. I’d only ever get called Matilda by my mother when I was in trouble.’ The words tumbled out before she had time to think about them, and the mention of her mother made it almost impossible to take another breath. She was usually able to work through her grief, but that wasn’t an easy task right this moment with everything snowballing around her. She tried to smile through her heartache but failed. ‘Sorry, my mum passed away late last year, I’m still coming to terms with it.’
Sergeant Fuller put his pen down. ‘I’m really sorry to hear that, Tilly. Was your mother from here, is that what’s brought you to Moonstone Valley?’
‘Oh no, well, kind of.’ Matilda was rubbing her hands up and down her jeans. ‘Sapphire Bay was Mum’s dream destination. She visited it once when she was nineteen, spent a few weeks camped up on the beach in her Kombi van with her boyfriend at the time, and always wanted to come back, but she never made it. She used to talk all the time about how beautiful it was here. So, I’m doing the next best thing and spreading her ashes along the beach when the time is right.’
‘Oh, I see, well that’s very thoughtful of you to do that for your mother.’ The sergeant sucked in a long slow breath. He looked as if he was about to say something more when Ryan walked in and handed him a tall glass of water.
Thanking him, Sergeant Fuller took a few big gulps and then placed it on the coffee table between them. He was quiet for a few moments, staring at his notepad as though it were an object of deep fascination. Then, inhaling sharply, he brought his gaze back to Tilly. ‘So, Tilly, back to the pressing issue, what happened to lead you to taking Mr Lewis’s vehicle without his permission?’
From an off-the-record conversation to interrogating her in the blink of an eye, the change of subject threw her for a few seconds. Tilly found herself stumbling for an answer. Drawing in a deep breath to try to calm her shaky voice, she went on to explain everything that had unfolded and how she feared for her life. She didn’t notice the shadows in Ryan’s eyes growing darker and darker. Sergeant Fuller nodded while jotting down notes, not once butting in on her breathless account of the events that led to Troy holding the knife to her throat, her hitting him over the head with the frypan and then taking off in his four-wheel drive before he killed her.
The sergeant stopped writing and looked up at her. ‘So you genuinely feared for your life?’
‘Yes. And I still do. Troy made it very clear that if I ever left him, he would hunt me down and kill me.’
‘I see.’ His face tightened. ‘Has there been any
contact from Mr Lewis since you left?’
‘No, he can’t contact me because I threw my mobile phone over a bridge.’
‘Aha, good thinking.’ He smiled ever so softly before turning his attention to Ryan. ‘You can verify that when you picked Tilly up from Devils Den she had these bruises on her face and the laceration to her throat?’
Ryan sat up straighter. ‘Yes, I can, and I’m more than happy to sign a statement of declaration.’
Sergeant Fuller sat clicking the end of his pen over and over, his poker face giving nothing away. ‘Have you ever reported acts of domestic violence against you by the hands of Mr Lewis, Tilly?’
Suddenly ashamed she hadn’t, Matilda looked down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. ‘No, I never did because I honestly believed him when he’d say it would be the last time he ever hit me. Also, I had nowhere else to go, so if I went to the police, it would have put me in a terrible position.’ She shrugged. ‘But he always proved me wrong, and I stuck around to keep finding this out. Such a foolish thing to do in hindsight.’
‘That’s not unusual, Tilly, so please don’t blame yourself. Many women who’ve gone through years of domestic abuse develop what we call Battered Wife Syndrome, where you’re too scared to leave or tell anyone about it. You can even start telling yourself you deserve the abuse, just to get you through from one day to the next. Sadly, it’s a way to survive.’ Pulling a leather wallet out of his pocket, he rifled through the contents and found a tattered business card. He held it out to Matilda. ‘I don’t know if you’ve thought about it, or even tried it, and I hope I’m not stepping over the line, but here’s the number of a very good counsellor in town who might be able to help you deal with some of those unwanted and very undeserved emotions.’ He cleared his throat as though a little uncomfortable with what he was doing. ‘I highly recommend her.’
With every word ringing true, Matilda nodded, unable to meet his eyes as she gently took the card from him. Sergeant Fuller’s small act of kindness moved her beyond words. It showed he was more than just a police officer out to uphold the law; he was also filled with compassion. A lone tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. Damn it all, she didn’t want to crumble, and now she’d done it twice. She felt Ryan’s arm go unsurely around her shoulder, and to let him know his gesture was okay she shifted a little closer to him. It felt good when he tightened his friendly embrace. She felt protected, safe and something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
