by Locklyn Marx
She put her hand up. “There’s no need.”
“No need for what?”
“To apologize.”
“But you don’t even know what I’m going to apologize for.”
“Yes, I do,” she said. “You’re going to apologize for what happened last night.
But I’m a grown woman, Chad, totally in charge of myself. It was just sex.” She shrugged. “It happens.”
“It does?” He seemed stunned. Probably because he didn’t think that she could wrap her mind around the idea of casual sex.
“Yes.” She thought about adding that it happened more to some people than others, but she figured that would be taking it a little too far. He might think he’d affected her, and she really didn’t want that. “Now, I have a headache from all the recycled air in the department store, so I’m going to take a bath and then try to get some sleep. You can leave the check on the counter for me to take in the morning. I’ve made arrangements for a car to pick me up.” That was a lie. But she would make arrangements. She held her hand out.
“You want me to shake your hand?!” Chad was looking at her in astonishment.
“Yes. This was a business deal, and that’s what people do at the end of a business deal.”
“Kenley,” he said. “Look, we need – “
“Chad,” she said, forcing her features into a face blank of emotion. “Please. I’m really tired.” She nodded toward her outstretched hand.
He reached out and took her it, a frisson of electricity sparking between them.
God, he was gorgeous. The gray sweater he was wearing brought out his eyes, and his hair was slightly messy, and she couldn’t help but think about what it felt like to kiss him.
He held onto her hand longer than was necessary, and for one wonderful, delicious moment, she thought he was going to pull her close. But finally, he let go.
Kenley walked to her bedroom, shut the door behind her and threw herself down on the bed. After a few minutes, she started to cry.
***
Chad had been pacing outside of Kenley’s bedroom door for the past two hours.
At first, when she’d disappeared into her room after giving him that big speech about how them sleeping together hadn’t meant anything, Chad had been angry. He’d immediately written a check out to her for a hundred thousand dollars and placed it on the counter with a post-it note the said, “Good luck!! Take care, Chad.”
He figured the message struck just the right chord, namely that the money meant nothing to him and neither did she. But now he was over his anger, and he wanted to talk to her. But every time he’d gotten up the courage to knock on Kenley’s door, he’d stopped himself. It was completely fucking ridiculous. He was acting like some kind of lovesick high school kid, instead of a thirty-year-old man with millions of dollars and a major league baseball contract.
Just do it, he told himself. Knock on the door and tell her how you feel. He raised his hand, poised to knock. Do it. But at the last second, he turned away. Damn.
What the hell was wrong with him?
What he needed was a pep talk.
He grabbed his cell phone then slipped outside of his apartment and into the hallway. Since his was the only apartment on the floor, there was a lot of privacy. He settled down into one of the chairs his decorator had insisted he put out here. At the time, Chad thought it was the dumbest idea he’d ever heard, since he figured no one was ever going to be sitting in them. But now he was glad the chairs were there. He dialed Jay.
“Yo,” Jay said when he answered. The sound of the television in the background filtered through the phone.
“I’m going to tell you something now, and when I do, I need you to not react in any way. I need you to not say anything, to not judge me, to not voice your opinion or say ‘I told you so.’”
“Okay,” Jay said. He sounded wary. Not that Chad could blame him.
“I think I’m in love with Kenley,” Chad said. Silence. “Say something!”
“You just told me not to!”
“I know, but…” Chad shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. “What am I supposed to do?” He was out of his chair now, pacing up and down the hallway, his bare feet leaving marks in the plush cream-colored carpet.
“Well,” Jay said. “What’s the situation?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, does she know that you love her?”
“No.”
“Where is she?”
“In my guest room. I’m pretty sure she hates me.”
“You left her in there?”
“What do you mean left her in there?”
“I assume you just had sex?”
“Why would assume that?” Chad was incredibly insulted. Never mind that he’d never really mentioned a girl’s name to before unless he’d slept with her. He’d just told Jay that he might be in love with this woman. What did sex have to do with it?
“Did you?” Jay asked.
“What?”
“Have sex with her!”
“Yes, but not today, I …” He leaned against the wall and then slid down until he was sitting on the floor. “I’m confused.”
“About?”
“I want to tell her.”
“That you love her?”
“Yes.”
“So what’s stopping you?”
“I don’t…listen, can I come over?”
“Of course,” Jay said. “We’re watching football, and Alyssa’s making nachos.”
“I’ll be there in ten.”
***
Kenley heard the front door of the apartment open and close, signaling that Chad was leaving. She’d been holed up in the guest room for the past two hours. First she’d taken a long bath, and although the hot water had left her skin feeling smooth and refreshed, it hadn’t done anything to relieve the sadness she’d felt.
She waited a few seconds to make sure Chad was definitely gone, then padded out into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and starting poking around. She sliced up a tomato and cut two slices from a loaf of crusty French bread that was in the bread box.
She added some cheese and mayonnaise to her sandwich, then heated up a can of chicken noodle soup.
It was going to be fine, she told herself as she ate. Getting all worked up over a guy she’d only known for a week was crazy, and she would be over it in no time. Not that she really believed that it mattered how long you knew someone when it came to relationships. She’d known Jeremy for months before they’d started dating, and it still hadn’t worked out.
But this was different. Obviously the reason she was feeling this way about Chad was because she’d had sex with him. Everyone knew that women got crazy when it came to sex, that they got immediately attached to the person they’d slept with, whether they wanted to or not. It was biology or hormones or Darwinism or something.
She sighed. Whatever. She’d be over it once she got back to Connecticut and got away from Chad. She was wiping up the crumbs from her sandwich and just about to head back to the bedroom when she saw it. A check, sitting on the counter. One hundred thousand dollars, made out to her from the account of Chad Parnell. She ran her hands over the number. She’d never seen so many zeroes in her life. She imagined them sitting in her bank account, the feeling she’d get checking her balance and realizing she didn’t have to worry about money, at least not for a while.
Then she noticed the post-it on top. “Good luck!” it said. “Take care, Chad.”
She stared at it in disbelief. Her eyes fill with prickly tears, and then anger blazed through her body. Good luck? Take care? What the fuck?
She stomped angrily into the bedroom and picked up the phone. “Melissa?” she said when her sister answered. “Can you pick me up at the airport in a few hours?”
“I guess,” Melissa said, sounding like it was an inconvenience even though she would be done with work by then.
“Great,” Kenley said. She was packing up the little s
tuff that she had, throwing her pajamas into her suitcase angrily, and sliding her laptop into its case so hard that for a second she was afraid she might have broken it. “I’ll call you back in a little bit once I figure out my flight.”
“What happened?” Melissa asked. “Is it over? Are you rich now? I saw the pictures of you guys outside of that restaurant, you looked amazing. Are you allowed to keep those boots?”
“No,” Kenley said. But then she thought about it. Why shouldn’t she keep the boots? There was no way she was going to take Chad’s money, not now, but she could at least take the boots. She threw them in her suitcase and then zipped it up, feeling satisfied.
“Really?” Melissa sounded disappointed. “I thought you’d at least be able to keep some of the clothes.”
“Yeah, well, I can’t.” But as she was saying the words, she was starting to get angrier. Who did he think he was? Just because he was good-looking and rich and used to people fawning all over him didn’t give him the right to treat people like shit. She stomped over to the closet and pulled down a few of the more expensive-looking dresses, then added another pair of shoes, a couple sweaters, and some jeans.
“Are you okay?” Melissa asked. “Because you sound a little frantic.”
“I’m not frantic!”
“Well, you sound frantic. What’s all that commotion?”
“I’m packing.” Kenley was in the bathroom now, adding a bunch of lotions and bubble baths to the pile of clothes in her arms. Then she realized that with all the security regulations, she probably wouldn’t be able to take the beauty products on the plane.
Damn. She reluctantly put them back and looked around the room for something else to steal. Her eyes landed on a loofah, and she grabbed it.
“Don’t you want to know what people are saying about you?”
“What people?” Kenley unzipped her suitcase and dumped in her contraband.
But with all the extra clothes, she was having a hard time zipping it up. She sat on the suitcase and tugged at the zipper. It didn’t budge. But Kenley was determined. She pushed all her weight down until finally, little by little, inch by inch, it zipped. Ha! she thought, feeling satisfied. Take that!
“The tabloid people.”
“What tabloid people?”
“US Weekly has you on their website.” Melissa cleared her throat and started to read off the website. “Who’s Chad Parnell’s new lady friend? Sources tell us it’s Kenley Mitchell, a financier from Connecticut.”
“Financier?” Kenley snorted. “Try unemployed mortgage broker. And what sources?”
“We dig her fresh-faced look,” Melissa went on. “Who says you have to be Jessica Alba to land a hot rich man?”
“Wow,” Kenley said, shaking her head. “Talk about a back-handed compliment.
Not to mention that whole statement is extremely sexist.”
“I thought it was nice,” Melissa said. “They were saying that you look pretty naturally, that you don’t have to be some airbrushed model type to get a hot guy.
Although, now that I think about it, they really might have airbrushed you. Didn’t you have a zit on your chin when you left?”
“I have to go,” Kenley said. “I’ll call you when I get to the airport.”
She grabbed her coat off the bed and shrugged it on. She took one last look around, then grabbed her suitcase, and strolled out of the apartment. With any luck, she would never have to see Chad Parnell again.
Chapter Twelve
“Jesus,” Jay said when he opened his apartment door and saw Chad. “What the hell happened to you? You look horrible.”
“Thanks,” Chad said. “That’s exactly what I needed to hear right now. I know you’re an asshole, Havens, but you could at least pretend to be nice to me in my moment of need.” He walked into the apartment, took his coat off, and then plopped himself down on Jay’s couch. It was a soft yellow sofa. Alyssa must have picked it out. Up until recently, Jay had never bought anything except brown leather. What the hell was happening to the two of them? Chad wondered. He began to feel panicked at the thought of a yellow sofa ending up in his apartment.
“Where’s Alyssa?” he asked Jay. “Do you want to get out of here? We could go to a strip club, we could –“
“A strip club?” Alyssa laughed as she came into the room. “Jesus, Chad, you’ve got it bad.” She exchanged a knowing look with her fiancé.
“No, I don’t!” Chad protested. “I just said I wanted to go to a strip club.” “You said you wanted to go to a strip club because you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t love Kenley,” Alyssa said. She sat down on the other couch next to Jay, turning herself so that her legs were across Jay’s lap.
Jay nodded. “It’s true,” he said. “You’re thinking that if you can find another girl, any girl, you’ll forget about Kenley.”
“Of course I would forget about Kenley!” Chad said. Well. That wasn’t completely true. He’d never had the kind of sex he’d had with Kenley, so it was unlikely that he’d just be able to go out and find some woman that would measure up. But it would come close. Wouldn’t it? He tried to think about naked girls, naked strippers even, and was surprised to find that he had no desire to think about anyone but Kenley.
“No,” Jay shook his head sadly. “You won’t forget about her.”
“I won’t?”
“No.”
“Then what do I do?”
Jay and Alyssa looked at each other again, that same worried look, like Chad was their child or something, and they were going to have to do some tough parenting.
“Well,” Alyssa said slowly. “What did she say when you told her you wanted her to stay?”
“To stay?”
“Yeah,” Jay said. He reached over and took a carrot off the veggie tray that was sitting on the coffee table and popped it in his mouth. “What were her reasons for not wanting to?”
“I didn’t ask her to stay,” Chad said, wondering how Jay could eat at a time like this. You’d think he would have been a little more sympathetic to the fact that his best friend’s life was falling apart.
“What do you mean you didn’t ask her to stay?” Jay asked, frowning.
“I mean I didn’t ask her to stay. Why would I have done that?”
“Um, because you wanted her to stay?” Alyssa asked.
“Yeah, but I wasn’t going to put myself out there.” Chad shook his head. “I mean, what if she said no?”
“So let me get this straight,” Jay said. “You slept with her, then paraded her in front of the paparazzi, then never asked her once to stay?”
“Right.”
“No wonder she’s pissed!” Alyssa said.
“Well, yeah, when you put it like that, of course it seems like she has a right to be mad. But you didn’t see her this morning, you didn’t see the way she was acting, flouncing all around like she wanted to get the hell out of New York.” Chad waved his hands around in what he hoped was a good imitation of the flouncing.
“And you believed her?” Alyssa asked. She reached over the coffee table and thunked Chad on the back of the head. “You’re hopeless, no wonder you’ve made such a big mess of this.”
“Of course she wanted you to ask her to stay,” Jay said. “She was just pretending that she didn’t.”
“I don’t think so,” Chad said, shaking his head. “She was really going out of her way to make it clear. You should have seen her twirling around in the lobby of the Parker Meridien.”
Alyssa rolled her eyes. “She was trying to prove to you, and probably to herself, that she didn’t need you,” she said. “Women do stuff like that all the time.”
“They do?”
“Yes,” Alyssa said. “And men are supposed to have the balls to call them on it, to tell us how they really feel so that we can stop.”
“Is that true?” Chad asked Jay, blinking in wonderment.
“Unfortunately, yes,” Jay said, and sighed.
“So I�
��m supposed to go and tell her how I feel? That doesn’t seem fair.” Chad shook his head. “I’m not going to put myself out there if she doesn’t want to do the same.”
“Well, that’s your decision,” Jay said. He looked at Alyssa again, and then turned his gaze back to Chad. “But you have to ask yourself what’s worse – having her leave, with no chance of her ever coming back, or risking telling her how you feel if it means there’s a chance she might stay.”
Chad thought about how it would feel for Kenley to be gone, to walk out of his life forever. He stomach clenched and his heart stopped in his chest. And that’s when he knew what he had to do.
“Thanks,” he said to Jay and Alyssa as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door.
“No problem man,” Jay said. “Let me know how it turns out.”
But Chad was already halfway out the door.
***
When Chad got back to his apartment, Kenley was gone. He knocked on the guest room door, but even before he did, he knew she wasn’t in there. There was a stillness, an emptiness in the apartment that let him know she’d left. He opened the door to her bedroom, praying that her stuff would still be there. But it wasn’t. Everything was gone. Her clothes. Her suitcase. Her computer.
Shit. He ran his hands through his hair. So that was it, he thought. She wouldn’t have left like that, without even saying goodbye, if she cared about him even a little bit.
There was no way. Despite what Jay and Alyssa had said, it just didn’t make sense.
He sighed, then walked into the kitchen. He sat down at the breakfast bar and put his head in his hands. He didn’t know what to do. Should he call her? He dialed her phone, but it went right to voicemail, further cementing the idea that Kenley didn’t want anything to do with him. The thought was like a knife to his heart.
And then he saw it. The check, still sitting there on the counter. She hadn’t taken it. She hadn’t taken his money! Which meant obviously last night had meant something to her.
Hope rose up in his heart. He had to find her. But where would she have gone?
A hotel? No, Chad decided. She’d want to go home. She’d probably changed her flight.
