“Hey,” Tara called out. “Can you give me a hand?”
Megan put down her bucket and watering can and reached for one end of the clothesline Tara was trying to restring.
“I'm so excited to dry clothes outside again! It’s going to leave them smelling better and will help free up some space in the downstairs area now that we have company,” she remarked.
“I don't think the company is going to be permanent,” Megan replied.
Tara shrugged. “I don't think we can say for sure yet. I mean, we aren't going to kick him out, are we? He is an American soldier. He’s one of the good guys.”
Megan decided to keep her reservations about Neil to herself. She had a feeling Tara was saying the words, but not truly believing them. After all, she was the one who held a gun on the injured man. They all wanted to be who they were before the EMP, but the truth of the matter was they’d all changed. They weren't willing to be kind to strangers. They wouldn't be looked down upon for being what would’ve been considered rude or paranoid in the past. With the way the world was now, jaded kept you alive.
“We'll have to see, I guess. Are you going to be working around the house the rest of the day?” Megan asked.
Tara grinned. “I think we all are. No one is risking any sneak attacks.”
Megan smiled. “Nope. Fool us once, shame on them, fool us twice, shame on us. We aren't going to be easy targets. Not anymore.”
They finished stringing the line between the two trees and Megan left Tara to her tasks while she took care of her own.
Between them, they’d be able to watch Neil while taking care of necessary chores around the lodge. Megan hoped the guy was being honest, but experience and intuition told her something was off. Maybe she was jaded. It didn't matter if she was being a little harsh towards the man who had nearly been killed. She was going to ensure her family is safe.
7
Megan finished weeding the area around the corn and headed inside to grab some lunch. The morning had started cold, but the day was turning out very warm. Rosie insisted that meant it’d be very cold tonight, but Megan wasn’t totally buying into that reasoning.
Wyatt came into the kitchen with a huge smile.
“What did you find?” Megan asked, knowing he was gloating for a reason.
“A dead Maple tree,” he replied as if he’d won the lottery.
She raised an eyebrow. “Okay. And?”
“I’ve been looking for maple wood to use in the smokehouse. It’s going to give that deer meat a nice, rich flavor.”
“You have wood all around you,” Megan pointed out.
Wyatt curled his lip. “No, we don't want pine, fir or any type of conifer. They have a lot of sap and there’s too much creosote produced when the wood burns. No one wants to eat meat covered in soot. Plus, the meat tends to be bitter.”
“What about the pinecones? Couldn't you use those like briquettes?”
“You could, but it’d have to be right when they were done smoking and before they cooled off. I don't want to risk ruining a good chunk of meat. The maple we found is big, plus I’m sure there’s going to be plenty of others in the area. It was upstream a bit. I'll have to go out looking when I have more time.”
The door opened again, Megan was focused on tying the frayed lace on her boots and didn't bother looking to see who was coming in. When she heard a small voice say hello, her stomach dropped and her heart fluttered.
She took a deep breath before looking up. It couldn't be true. She was seeing a ghost. This must be what a haunting looked like.
“Megan?” Harry asked. “Are you okay?”
Wyatt grabbed her elbow to help steady her. Megan stared at the two people in front of her, unable to believe what she was seeing. It wasn't possible!
“Harry?” she croaked out. “Harry, you're alive?”
She moved her eyes down, afraid to blink. Afraid if she stared directly at the little girl, she’d disappear. It had to be an apparition. There was no way little Emma was standing right here in the kitchen. The dam blowing flashed through her mind. The sight of Emma playing next to the stream moments before the explosion that released thousands of gallons of water had replayed in her head so many times her brain refused to accept what it was seeing now.
“Emma?” she whispered.
Emma ran to her and wrapped her arms around Megan's waist. Megan put her hand on the little girl's head. She was real. She was alive and truly here at the lodge. With every death that weighed heavily on her shoulders, she always felt as if she was losing a bit of her soul. Seeing Emma and feeling her arms again healed some of those wounds but not all.
“Linda?” she asked, afraid to hear the answer.
Harry looked away and Megan knew. The explosion had spared Emma and Harry, but Linda hadn't made it out alive.
Megan held back the sob that threatened to ruin the very special reunion. The soul mending, she had experienced, shattered again. Harry and Emma lived, but they had to live without Linda. They’d be suffering.
Wyatt stepped forward and shook Harry's hand. “It’s so good to see you! How’ve you been?”
Megan winced. They knew how he’d been. After they’d sacrificed his wife to save the lodge, he’d been living in a world of grief. Wyatt clearly realized the mistake in word choice and apologized.
Harry smiled. “Don't apologize. We’ve been doing well, haven't we, Emma? We thought we’d stop by to see how you folks were getting along.”
Megan worried that she was dreaming. Any second now, she’d wake up and discover Emma and Harry were truly dead.
“Have you had lunch?” Megan finally managed to ask. She avoided looking at Harry and directed her question to the little girl who was finally disengaging from her waist.
Emma shrugged. “Not really. We’re on a journey and grandpa says we’ll eat when we make camp for the night. Is Caitlin here?”
Megan smiled. “Of course, she is. They’re all going to be so happy to see you, Emma. I'm so happy to have you here. I’ve missed you!”
The little girl grinned, revealing a missing front tooth.
“Oh my! You lost a tooth! Did the tooth fairy pay you a visit?” Megan asked.
Emma smiled broadly. “Yep. I got my very own pocket knife.”
Megan laughed. A tooth fairy that left pocket knives instead of money was certainly a sign of the times.
“That's great. Come on, I’ll take you to find the kids. I bet you they’re out playing with Duke down near the stream.”
She quickly ushered Emma out the door, relieved to get away from Harry. He made her uncomfortable, not because of anything he did, but because of what she had done. She had a feeling the man knew they were responsible for the dam breaking and flooding their little camp. Maybe he was coming to collect retribution or demand to be let back into the lodge group. Whatever it was he wanted, she wasn't ready to talk to him.
Megan knew she’d have to face him eventually, but not this very minute.
“Caitlin!” she called out when they got into the trees.
Caitlin came running with Duke following close behind. Misty and Mason were right on their heels followed by the rest of the kids.
“Emma!” they all yelled in unison.
Emma ran to meet them. They all hugged and started talking at once. Megan smiled as she watched the little group talk as if they hadn't been apart the past few months. Emma seemed to be happy, well cared for and in good health. It was impossible to tell by looking at her that she’d recently gone through something horrible.
“You guys want to come up to the lodge for lunch?” Megan asked, secretly hoping to keep them with her. It provided a nice safety net to avoid having to talk to Harry about the flood.
When they all said no, her shoulders sagged.
“You guys can play a bit more and then you’ll need to come up to eat,” she said before walking slowly back to the lodge. It felt as if she were walking to her own murder trial. May as well get it over with.
Megan walked through the back door and into a large group gathering. Everyone had heard of Harry's arrival and wanted to say hello.
She hugged the wall, doing what she could to avoid being noticed.
Chase made eye contact, offering her support with that one single look. It was Chase who’d been there. Only he could truly understand the choice she'd made on that terrible day. She appreciated his quiet understanding. He turned his attention back to Harry a moment before Wyatt quietly walked towards her, joining her at the back of the room.
“You don't have to feel guilty, Megan. Harry doesn't hold anything against you.”
“He would if he knew. He has to know we’re the ones that blew that dam,” she stressed.
Wyatt shrugged. “Harry is a savvy guy. He would've made the same decision if it meant saving the group as well as the lodge.”
When she didn't answer, he stood in front of her, interrupting her sight of Harry and the others, “Megan, we all made the decision. You may have pushed the button, but any one of us would’ve done the same thing given the opportunity. This isn't all on you.”
“I know, I'm fine, what's he doing here anyway?” she asked, brushing off the nerves that were making her feel like a caged cat.
“He’s moving back to his old house. Maybe not in the house, but the land. He chose that spot because there was quick access to water and hunting,” Wyatt explained.
Megan winced; she couldn't imagine what the place would look like. While it’d been almost a year since the horrific battle, the memories were still very fresh in her mind. She decided to push the guilt down and approached Harry.
“Hi, I wanted you to know you can count on me. Anything you need, name it and I will do whatever I can to help you out,” she said, taking one of his hands in her own.
“Thank you, Megan. I appreciate that, but I think it's about time Emma and I learned how to stand on our own two feet. We’ve been bumbling along with no plan. Now, we’re going back and we’re going to start over. We will of course welcome any tips you’ve learned and would love to visit now and again, but I think we’ll be okay,” he told her with a smile.
Megan had to swallow the lump in her throat.
Before she knew what she was saying, she blurted out, “Stay here. We can build a cabin. Emma would love to be around the kids.”
Harry chuckled. “You are very kind, but you have a full house.”
She pressed him. “We could make room. You know we’d welcome you back in.”
“He’s going to be staying the night and getting a fresh start in the morning,” Rosie said. “They’ll have dinner with us and I plan to pack him a few things before they leave,” she said with a wink.
“Oh, Rosie, you really don't need to do that. We aren't seeking charity.”
She ignored his objections. “Okay, then,” Rosie clapped her hands together. “We need to get started on dinner. Harry, please, sit down and relax a bit.”
“Actually, I was wondering if I could read a few of those books you have and make some notes to take with us?”
“Of course,” Rosie said. “Megan, can you show him some of the more useful books?”
Megan's palms got sweaty at the thought of being alone with Harry. The guilt she was trying to ignore was pushing forward.
“Sure,” she croaked out, “Come upstairs and I’ll grab them for you,” she said hoping her voice sounded cheery and not as strained as it felt.
“Thank you. Thank you so much all of you for letting us crash for the night. It will make tomorrow's journey much easier,” he said, following Megan up the stairs.
Megan got the books and put them on the coffee table between the couches before finding a notebook for Harry to use to make notes.
“How have you been, Megan?” Harry asked.
She was hoping to escape without having to talk with him.
“I've been good. Busy with gardening and making trips into the city. How about you, Harry? Emma looks very good. You've been doing a good job taking care of her.”
He smiled. “I think it goes both ways. She takes care of me, too. She’s really been a big help since we lost Linda.”
Megan cringed. She’d hoped to avoid the topic altogether.
“Why does that bother you so much?” Harry asked.
Megan sighed. “I feel terrible for your loss and I know how hard it is to lose someone you’re close to.”
He nodded. “I hope you don't think anything you or anyone here caused her death,” he said quietly.
Megan nearly dropped the book she was carrying. Her hands were shaking and her knees felt weak.
When she didn't say anything, he continued. “I have a feeling you think that flood is what killed her. I know you guys had to blow that dam to prevent a major catastrophe downriver.”
Megan's head popped up and she met his eyes. Someone had revealed her secret!
He gave her a faint smile. “Rosie filled me in on what had happened and how you came up with the brilliant idea to build a dike to protect the lodge. That was amazing, Megan. Don't you dare feel guilty for doing what was necessary to protect your family.”
“I'm so sorry,” she whispered.
“Have a seat,” he said gesturing to the couch across from him.
She obliged, waiting for him to tell her what was on his mind. She had a feeling it was going to sting and was thankful to be able to sit down for the talk.
“Linda was sick. She’d been sick a long time, even before the EMP. We always knew her time was short. When we were held captive for those weeks, I thought for sure she’d die. Linda was weak from the chemo she had undergone weeks before the EMP made everything go dark. By some miracle, she actually started to improve some. Maybe it was the fresh, mountain air or the reduction in stress. Sometimes, knowing too much about your health can make you a little crazy,” he said with a smile.
Megan didn't say anything.
“We got to spend all winter together with Emma. She didn't want any of you to know, but she knew the cancer was back. It was one of the main reasons we decided to leave. She didn't want to burden any of you with her illness,” he said. “She was a tough woman with a heart of gold.”
“I'm so sorry, Harry. I can't imagine what she went through and now you and Emma are alone,” Megan said, holding back the tears.
“You have to forgive yourself, Megan. This isn't your burden to carry. You’re missing all the good things in life if you continue to carry around this guilt you feel. I don't hold you responsible. Please don't be so hard on yourself,” he said, with great sincerity.
She sat on the couch, hearing the words, but they weren't quite hitting home. He didn't hold Linda's death against her, but she couldn't release herself from the guilt she felt. Harry was a kind man and would never say anything mean or hurtful. Deep down, he had to resent her a little.
“Thank you, Harry. I really do appreciate your kind words and I am truly sorry for your loss. I'll let you get to work,” she said standing from the couch. “Harry, I meant what I said. I’ll help you and Emma in any way I can. Please, don't hesitate to ask. We're all here for you.”
He smiled and nodded his head. “I know you’ll be around if I need you. Thank you.”
Megan took a deep breath and managed to make it down the stairs without tripping. Her legs were still a little weak, but her heart felt a little less burdened. She wanted to believe Harry's words, but something deep down refused to let her release the guilt. Saving JJ was her only path to redemption.
8
The man lying on a dirty, old mattress in the warehouse groaned as he started to wake from the fog of heavy drinking and pill popping. The warehouse had provided a nice crash pad. It was in a deserted part of the city and with the run-down appearance, it didn't present a very inviting atmosphere, which made it perfect for Mark Doyle's needs.
He wasn't in any condition to do any fighting. He’d fallen into a bottle last night, or maybe it was the night before. He couldn't remember.
He only knew the bliss of floating in the darkness that always came with his cocktail of liquor and pills. He wanted to block out the rest of the world. Unfortunately, with everyone trying to kill everyone else, it was difficult to get completely smashed because you never knew when an enemy would attack.
Doyle didn't drink to get drunk. He drank to the point of oblivion. You couldn't very well point and shoot a gun if you couldn't move your arms. If an enemy found him and killed him, he would be too wasted to care or fight back. Death would be welcomed, but no matter how many pills he swallowed or liquor he drank, he couldn't take his own life. Suicide was not an option. Being killed by someone else while he was in a blackout wouldn't be the worst thing that could happen.
He groaned as he shifted position to get comfortable. Even in his semi-numbed state, Doyle could feel the springs from the mattress poking into his back. The thing stunk of urine and had probably once been home to a family of rodents before he claimed it as his own.
He blinked his eyes several times, trying to focus on the dark ceiling. The light from a broken window was faint, but enough to allow him to see his surroundings. The metal walls and cement floor had been cool last night, but with the sun up and high in the sky, it was starting to feel as if he were in an oven. The stench of stale beer mixed with the smell of the mattress created a toxic atmosphere.
The cloying smell made him nauseated. Or maybe it was the overindulgence of alcohol the day before. He groaned, rolled to his side and used a hand to feel along the floor. His mouth felt as if he’d been sucking on cotton balls all night. He needed a drink. He felt a bottle, picked it up and shook it. Empty.
He cursed in frustration and threw it across the room. The sound of the glass shattering felt as if the shards had pierced his brain. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to dull the pain before feeling along the floor where the mattress sat.
EMP Lodge Series Box Set | Books 1-6 Page 83
