So, I watched Summer skip out of the room, saying nothing.
After she left, I stayed curled in my ball, staring at nothing.
Logan Ryan. Demon Guy. He was really here.
***
Finally, like after an hour, I pulled myself out of bed and reached for my guitar, trying to work on a song instead of think. I started playing Fade to Black. Just ‘cause. I mean, it went with my mood. It was dark and haunting and exactly how I felt. I felt like my world was fading to black.
Thump, thump.
The noise sent me flying to the ceiling, my heart practically exploding.
It took me a second to realize it was only a knock at my window, and it wasn’t Logan from my nightmares, it was Gage from down the street. But still, my heart was thumping out of control. I didn’t think it would ever beat normal again.
Once Gage saw he had my attention, he gave me the peace sign and opened my window, coming in like he did that sort of thing all the time, which he used to back in like, the fourth grade, but hadn’t done in a long, long while.
“Hey.” He grinned, lighting up my dark room, my whole world, making my heart suddenly beat all wild for a completely different reason. Ugh! I had it bad. But it seemed it was even more than that. Since I brought him back to life, it seemed he shined even brighter, shined like a star, or maybe I was just more connected to him now, since I saw him dead, maybe bringing him back to life tied us somehow. He seemed to feel that way too, maybe. He was always looking at me now, like I was Goddess or something. But I only caught him looking that way when he thought I wasn’t looking—kind of like Jade was always telling me.
“How are you doing?” he said.
I put down my guitar. “Smokin.’”
He laughed. “Yeah, you sounded smokin.’ I heard you through the window. You’re getting really good.”
I bit my lip, looking around my cluttered room. I’m not very good with compliments, especially when they come from Gage. They get me all spastic and smiley—but I don’t know what to do with that. It’s easier to be mellow, and slightly down. That I can work with, that I know.
I glanced around my dark, cluttered room some more. It was kind of embarrassing just having him come in like this. I could have been naked. As it was, my bra and yesterday’s underwear were in a heap at his feet—that was something I could do without. Still, obviously, I was glad to see him. He looked really good. I think he got his hair cut or something.
“You almost gave me a heart attack,” I said, putting down my guitar.
“Sorry. I kept calling, but you never called me back. And the phone’s been busy all night. Is Summer chained to it or what?”
“She has a new boyfriend, I guess.”
“Who? That guy Logan?”
Just hearing his name sends a chill through me.
“Yeah, the demon from hell,” I wanted to tell him, but I just nodded. The whole Logan thing made my stomach-churn and my body shake.
“Yeah, he seems pretty cool,” Gage said, then shrugged, sitting on my bed beside me. “Well, Addison thinks so anyway, but what does she know?—she likes me.”
That made me smile, despite my Demon-from-Hell anxieties. Gage is the cutest, sweetest, nicest guy in the world, but he was really modest about it, and he wasn’t just faking. He really had no idea what he did to my heart. “Did you get your hair cut?”
Having his hair mentioned, he absently ran his fingers through it, getting it all messy, which was adorable and kind of his look anyway. “Yeah, I got it cut. You like?”
I did like. I liked a lot. Gage was sort of heartbreak perfection. Beautiful. But sometimes I wished he wasn’t. Sometimes I wished he had a big nose, or unruly hair or...something—anything. Then Goddess types like Addison wouldn’t be so into him. They wouldn’t even notice him. ‘Cause he’s not into the stuff they care about. Gage doesn’t live to be popular—his goal in life isn’t to be part of a click. He’s really into his music. He likes to write songs.
I nodded, picking up a pillow from my bed, not the one I sleep on, a really mooshey one. I started mooshing it now, absently squeezing it in my arms. “It looks good.”
“Thanks.” He grinned. “Yours looks good too. Stylish.”
I laughed, ‘cause he was being a jerk, I had major bed-head. “Hey, don’t pick on me. I’ve been sick.” I threw my pillow at him, playfully hitting him in the head. And of course that started a major pillow fight.
We smashed and threw pillows at each other, laughing and really having fun, but then Beth came in, super mad (which was weird ‘cause she doesn’t get mad). She told Gage to go.
“Let him stay just a little longer,” I begged, holding on to his arm. I really didn’t want him to go. I’d been sick and scared and totally terrified and having him here was the only cool thing that had happened in a long time.
“No, that’s okay,” he said, getting up. “I’ve got to go anyway. I just wanted to make sure Michaela was okay. She seemed really sick at school this morning.”
“She is really sick,” Beth said.
They discussed me a while like I wasn’t even in the room, and then Gage left, leaving me feeling even lonelier than I did before he came. He caved so easy. He didn’t even try to stay. That kind of hurt my feelings ‘cause Beth was a pushover and he knew it. She would have let him stay forever if we begged hard enough. What really hurt though was knowing he was probably trotting off to Addison’s to climb in her window. He probably did it every night.
I picked up my guitar, and started working on Fade to Black again. It was such an appropriate song. My world was fading to black.
There was another tap at my window, and again, my heart started pounding, but this time it wasn’t because I was terrified, this time it was because it was Gage. I secretly hoped he would come back. I wasn’t counting on it, just hoping. I couldn’t really believe he would just abandon me like that. He wasn’t one to give in so easy.
“Hey,” I smiled, not even trying to hide my happiness that he came back.
He smiled back at me, his eyes lighting into mine, shining down to my heart. “Sorry about that. I figured it was just easier to sneak, than try to mess with an angry mom.”
I guess he was probably used to working with angry moms. He went through girlfriends pretty fast. Except Addison. He’d been with her for almost a year.
“Also, I forgot to give you this,” he said, pulling Bananas, the stuffed monkey I won for him at the carnival last year, out of his back pack.
“Bananas!” I held the little monkey in my arms and squeezed him tight.
“He’s just a loner, though. Until you feel better.”
I burrowed my face into his soft fur. “Thanks.”
I’d given Bananas to Gage as a birthday present last year, as when we were eight he had tried for hours to win a monkey just like it. “I’d been trying to win the monkey for you,” he said with a laugh when I gave it to him. “Thanks! He’ll be our band’s mascot.
Gage had brought him to every gig they had, tying him to Conner’s drums. Every single gig.
For some reason him bringing me Bananas seemed like the sweetest gesture in the entire world and I could have easily started crying over it. I think it had a lot to do with having been sick, and being so weak, and then being so scared after seeing Logan. All that mixed and added together left me emotionally out of control.
Gage sat on the bed beside me and picked up my guitar. He started playing something I’d never heard before. It was soft and pretty and kind of sad. I sat listening to him in awe. He caught me gazing at him and smiled. “You like it?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty. Did you write it?”
He played a little more. “Yeah. I’m writing it for you.”
Tingles ran threw my body. We were silent, just looking at each other. “I missed you so much while you were sick,” he said softly. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
I wanted to tell him about Logan. Right then, while eve
rything was silent and still, while we were alone. At that moment I felt incredibly close to him, like I could tell him anything and he would understand. And talking about it might help. Maybe. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so scary if I verbalized it, got it out in the open. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It frightened me just to think about it.
Hugging Bananas, I looked up and was suddenly flooded with tingles. ‘Cause Gage was watching me. The way he was gazing, it was as though he’d been doing it a long time. My heart fluttered.
“What?”
“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat. “I should probably go.”
“Oh.”
I walked him to the window, wishing he could stay. His presence helped me deal with things, cope. Just having him close made me feel better, like everything would be all right if I could only have him near.
When he got to the window he turned to me, like he had something important to say. For a moment our eyes met. I melted under his gaze, held my breath as he drew his face near mine. I could hear him breathing, feel the warmth of his breath on my neck and ear, but then he gave a slight groan, backing away. “Things have changed,” he said in a husky voice. “I’m not sure I’m ready for it.”
I stared at him, filled with emotion—elation that he had come so close to kissing me, disappointment that he had backed away. “I don’t understand.”
“I know,” he gave a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. I can’t explain.” He gave another sad smile. “Goodnight, Michaela.” Then he was gone, out my window and into the night.
As I drifted off to sleep I thought about Gage, about his warm brown eyes, and what it would have been like to have him take me in his arms, to have him kiss me. But when I dreamed, it was about Logan and a cave and a gathering of cloaked demons coming to get me.
CHAPTER 21
Beth wouldn’t let me go to school today. She gave me a threatening look as she left for work.
“Stay home,” she said.
So, I spent the morning roaming around the house, totally nuts, with questions rattling around in my brain, never seizing, never leaving, just growing and growing and making me want to scream. Yesterday really happened. Logan’s real. So what is he doing? What does he want? Why’s he here? Is he at my school right now? Going to classes?
Or is he somewhere else?
What’s he doing?!
I wanted to go to school. I didn’t like being home. Alone. I wanted to be around people.
I tried to keep my mind busy—off Logan.
For most of the morning I worked on my guitar and played online games. Then at lunch, I poured myself a bowl of Coco-coco Puffs and ate it on the couch, watching some show about dogs in space. I think it was a kid show, but it was kind of scary. Everything freaked me out these days, even puppets. Still, I watched the show like a zombie, figuring I wouldn’t get off the couch until three.
My plans to stay on the couch got heaved out the window though when Summer came home for lunch, ‘cause she was holding hands with Logan.
Ack!
I jumped off the couch so fast there was a sonic boom.
Summer scowled at me like I was a lunatic, but I didn’t care, I was ready to race up the stairs. Her scowl disappeared when she turned to Logan, though. She gave him this I-told-you-she’s-a-nut-case look and said: “This is my sister, Michaela. You met her yesterday, remember?”
He smiled at me all I want to grab you like, and I almost bolted up the stairs. But all he said was, “How’s the mono?”
The way he asked, with a mocking smirk, made me suddenly certain I never had mono and he was laughing at me for thinking I did. Somehow he caused me to be sick. He put a voodoo curse on me or something.
“I’m over it,” I told him, challengingly. “I’m all better.”
Summer rolled her eyes. “That’s what she’s been saying, but she hasn’t combed her hair in a week.”
That wasn’t really true. I combed my hair just yesterday. But I ignored her, instead stating the facts. “I’m completely better. I’m strong.”
Logan smiled, seeming amused. “Yeah?”
“Look, don’t mess with me.”
“Michaela!” Summer shrieked, as though I was embarrassing her, making a scene. But Logan just smiled, like he was finding me entertaining. And yeah, I probably was. The guy could call up monsoons. He obviously had a lot of power. Way more than me. Probably. I’d never actually tested myself, found out what I can and can’t do. I’d always been too afraid to try.
But he was just a guy, or demon or whatever. I mean, he wasn’t the entire Cloaked People, not the whole sect. I figured I’d have more of a chance to take him on—fight him now—than wait around for the whole mob to show.
Okay, I knew I’d probably lose. That was almost a given, okay it was a given, but I’d rather take my chances with him than them. I’d rather die than come face to face with them.
Logan shook his head—like he knew what I was thinking, like he advised against it. Totally for show, he put his arms around Summer. He gave her a kiss. But I knew it was only to prove a point. He had me where he wanted me. He had my sister.
For a moment I just stood where I was at, staring at the guy. There didn’t seem to be anything I could do about him in my house. In fact, there didn’t seem to be anything I could do about him in my life. So, with as much dignity as I could manage wearing a chocolate-stained bathrobe and Tweety Bird slippers, I turned around and marched up to my room.
Summer gazed at Logan as I went, seeming to have forgotten I even existed, but I could feel Logan’s eyes follow me up the stairs.
***
Summer and Logan went back to school. I heard them go. But I spent the next hundred hours pacing in my room. I felt caged in a nightmare, unable to wake up. The demon that had haunted me since childhood had finally come to get me. He was roaming free in my wide-awake life. I knew it was all my fault. I knew it was because I saved Gage, but what was I supposed to do? Let him die?
No way could I do that.
Only...now what was I supposed to do?
During my pacing, Beth flew in the front door, home early from work. “I have to fly to Seattle,” she said as she started throwing things in her suitcase.
I wanted to beg her to stay, didn’t want her to go. But she was all wound up and anxious. Whatever was going on in her Seattle office was obviously important. So, I didn’t beg. I just stood silent in her doorway, watching her pack.
“I should be home by Monday,” she said as she headed out the front door. “If you have any problems call Mrs. Katz.”
I followed her out to the car. I knew it was silly to want her to stay. She couldn’t protect me. Still, I wished she were going to be around.
As she got into her car, ready to leave, she stopped suddenly, looking concerned. “I’m sorry to leave you while you’re not feeling well. Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
“Be sure to call Mrs. Katz if you need anything.”
Mrs. Katz is like a hundred and ten. It takes her half an hour to cross our living room. I truly doubted she’d be much help. Still, Beth was in a hurry. She needed to go.
“Okay. Yeah. I’ll give her a call,” I said and then Beth was gone.
***
It was after five and Summer hadn’t come home from school yet. Normally that would be no big deal. She spends more time at her friends’ houses than home. But I knew she was with Logan, so I was worried. He might kill her just to prove a point. I had no idea.
At six I called Summer’s best friend, Sara.
“No, I haven’t seen her. She bailed on shopping,” Sara said. “But, I bet I know who she’s with—that guy, Logan.”
My stomach twisted. “Thanks.”
There was a thick cloud of doom hovering over me. I couldn’t function. Summer’s dead. Logan killed her. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake those thoughts.
Around seven, Summer finally called.
Understa
ted to say, I was relieved to hear her voice. I could finally breathe. “Where’ve you been?”
“I left voice mail with mom,” Summer said, not answering my question. “Tell her I’m going to spend the night with Sara, k?”
“Mom’s not here. She went to Seattle.”
“She did? Cool. How long’s she gonna be gone?”
“I don’t know. She said for you to come home, though. She said to tell you not to go anywhere.” She didn’t really say any of this, but I was sure she would have if she knew Summer was dating the spawn of Satan.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. That’s just what she said.”
“Well, if she calls just tell her I’m in the shower or something.”
“Summer, just come home.” I was practically pleading. I couldn’t take all this worry. I just wanted to lock her in her room.
I could hear Logan’s voice in the background. He said something that made Summer giggle.
Gah!
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Summer said. Then click. She hung up before I could protest.
Grrrr!
CHAPTER 22
Having no clue where Logan had taken residence (a hole in the dirt?) I went to Pikes. It was Friday night. I figured if Summer took him anywhere, it would be there. So far though, she hadn’t shown. It was still kind of early though. So I just sort of hang out, hoping she might make an appearance.
Izzie went to her dad’s for the weekend. Otherwise, I would have called her like an hour ago, made her drive me (my car was in the shop. Its second home.), and sit with me. Instead, I had to walk and sit alone. I hated that.
Gage was around. He was with Addison, The Psychopath, though, so I didn’t go over and talk to him. Instead I sat by myself, feeling like a jerk. It was weird seeing him with Addison and her friends—the beautiful crowd—he looked bored. Usually he hangs with his band. They weren’t around tonight though. No one was. I mean, the place was packed, but it was full of people we didn’t associate with.
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