by Heidi Rice
‘Luke, don’t try baking analogies with a master baker.’
He laughed. ‘I’m right, though, aren’t I?’
A tiny bubble of hope penetrated the panic at the calm assurance in his gaze. What if they could make this work? What if her expectations weren’t completely unrealistic, after all?
‘You’re going to have to trust Aldo and me to figure our relationship out for ourselves,’ he said. ‘But just to put your fears to rest, I can promise you this much—whatever happens this morning, I’ll do my utmost to make sure Aldo doesn’t get hurt. Lizzie means everything to me. And you mean quite a lot to me, too.’
Do I? The heart bumps rose into her throat.
‘And he’s her brother, and your son,’ he added. ‘So even though I’ve never met him, he already means something to me.’
‘You’re sure?’ she asked, the bubble expanding uncomfortably. Please don’t say that unless you mean it.
‘I’m sure,’ he said. ‘Trust me.’
The knot of panic finally let go of her oesophagus. ‘OK.’
As tough as it was, she was going to have to trust him. And herself. Because he was right about one thing. Ever since he’d left, she’d tried to control every single thing. And if this trip had taught her one thing—apart from the fact that Luke Best’s smile could still make her go weak at the knees—it was that being in control didn’t necessarily stop bad things from happening. And trying to control this might actually stop something amazing from happening.
He lifted her suitcase, as well as his own. ‘Now, can we take this inside? I want to make a good impression and I work better with caffeine. Especially after eight hours on a plane while I’m still on Tennessee time.’
It occurred to her, as she reached into her bag to find the keys, that however nervous she was, he was probably more so.
And that this was the first day of the rest of her life.
So, no pressure, then.
Five minutes earlier
Lizzie’s eyelids fluttered and then snapped open. Her mind registered the sonorous hum wasn’t just coming from Trey’s measured breathing against her ear, but from the sound of a car driving away on the street outside.
She snuggled against Trey to hide from the light penetrating the shutters. And smiled.
They’d spent the whole night together. Fully clothed, cuddling on the sofa. Was there anything more romantic?
He’d jerked awake a couple times, she guessed dreaming about his mum, or her death. Both times she’d lulled him back to sleep. Glad that she could help, and gladder still that he wanted her to.
But as her cheek brushed the solid wall of his chest, she realised she wasn’t feeling glad now so much as very, very curious. Because this situation wasn’t just romantic any more, it was also kind of hot.
She slid her hand under his T-shirt to rest against his belly. And took a few stolen moments to explore the soft line of hair that trailed under his belly button and had fascinated her for over a week. Getting bolder, she inched her fingertips under the loose waistband of his jeans, the definite bulge beneath fascinating her. And exciting her.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to do something with that morning erection? She wondered how many girlfriends he’d had. He certainly couldn’t have had tons if his mum had been sick since he was a kid. She couldn’t think of anything more erotic than getting the chance to seduce him. And maybe then he could seduce her back. She’d never even had an orgasm with Liam. It had always been over too fast, because Liam had about as much interest in foreplay as he did in having root canal treatment. Trey would be much more considerate.
His erection certainly didn’t repulse her, or bore her the way Liam’s often had.
She was so busy imagining how much she would enjoy exploring it more, that she jumped when his large hand covered hers.
‘Morning, Lizzie.’
She lifted her head, to find his chocolate eyes watching her. ‘Hi. You’re awake. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to …’
‘Don’t be.’ He sent her a shy, sexy smile, his hair flattened on one side, but still gorgeous.
He looked half asleep, his pupils dilated, his lids at half mast. He didn’t move her hand, but he let it go to sweep her hair up on either side of her head.
Her pulse pounded in her ears at the tender affection, the sleepy invitation in those heavy-lidded eyes. Easing her exploring fingertips further into his pants, she stretched up to press her lips to his, the thrill rushing through her.
The kiss became fervent, seeking. She flattened her palm against the warm firm flesh of his belly and thrust her hungry tongue into his mouth.
The click of a lock, the muffled buzz of voices and footsteps seemed to be part of a dream, barely registering over the hot rush of blood to her head. And the beautiful strength of Trey’s fingers in her hair.
‘Lizzie? Trey?’ Her mother’s shocked voice pierced through the fog of arousal.
‘Who the hell is that?’ The harsh male shout yanked her the rest of the way out of the erotic dream. And into a nightmare.
Trey’s head snapped back as large hands grabbed the front of his shirt.
‘Get the fuck off my daughter.’
Lizzie tumbled backwards off the sofa, her back hitting the floor as Trey was yanked out of her arms. Her mind crashed into complete consciousness as she watched her dad, his face tight with fury, haul Trey up by his shirt front.
Lizzie scrambled up. Her limbs clumsy with shock. ‘Stop it … Don’t …’ she cried on a whimper of breath, her lungs paralysed with horror.
Trey shook his head, obviously confused. ‘No, wait …’ He raised his hands in defence as her dad’s arm drew back, his fist bunched.
‘Luke, don’t!’ her mum yelled behind her. Too late.
Her dad’s fist connected with Trey’s jaw, the sickening thud reverberating through her as Trey’s head rocked back and he crashed to the floor.
‘Dad!’ she screamed.
‘You hit Trey. I hate you!’ Aldo raced into the room and launched himself at her dad, kicking him and shouting.
Lizzie rushed to kneel next to Trey.
He held his jaw, blood seeping from his mouth, his expression one of shock and pain and guilt. ‘I’m sorry, Lizzie. I’m so sorry.’
‘It’s OK, you didn’t do anything wrong,’ she said, tears pouring down her cheeks. How could her dad have hit him like that?
What the fuck is Dad even doing here?
‘Yes, I did,’ Trey said, his voice breaking. ‘I shouldn’t have touched you.’
She blanked out her dad’s grunts and curses as he held Aldo off while her little brother punched and kicked, trying to batter him like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
It serves him bloody right.
‘But I wanted you to touch me.’ She clung to Trey as he stood.
‘I should go.’ He looked devastated as he dislodged her clutching fingers.
‘Don’t go,’ she pleaded, but her arms hung limp by her sides, unable to stop him.
Her mother touched Trey’s arm, delaying him before he reached the door, but whatever she said, it wasn’t enough. He pushed past her and left. The door slammed behind him as he raced up the outside steps.
‘Mum!’ Lizzie’s wail jolted Halle out of her stunned trance. ‘Mum, don’t let him go.’
‘It’s OK, we’ll get him back.’ She enfolded her daughter in her arms as Lizzie’s slender body vibrated with wrenching sobs.
‘But he won’t come back, not now,’ Lizzie cried. ‘Not after Dad hit him like that. How could he? Trey’s mum died yesterday. He’s already been through so much.’
‘What?’ Halle held her daughter at arm’s length.
Shock layered on shock. She had no clue what Luke and she had just walked in on between her daughter and Trey, but it had looked very intense.
‘His mum died, yesterday,’ her daughter repeated between heaving breaths. ‘She’s been sick for a long time. Trey used to look after her.’
‘I didn’t know that.’ It seemed there were a lot of things she didn’t know.
‘Stop kicking me, kid!’ Luke’s shout drew her back to the present.
She jotted the problem of Trey, and Lizzie, and Trey’s dead mother down on Future Halle’s to-do list, because Present Halle had a much bigger problem. How could she have been stupid enough to trust Luke? She’d let him in here. Let him into her home. And he’d turned into the bloody Terminator.
She grabbed a saucepan and smashed it down on the countertop. The sound crashed around the room, calling time on Luke and Aldo’s wrestling match.
‘Aldo, stop kicking Luke. Luke, put my son down,’ she demanded in her best obey-me-at-your-peril voice.
Their two heads rose together and, for a split second, as Luke hugged Aldo round the waist, lifting her son off the ground to prevent Aldo kicking his shins, the illusion she’d kept at bay during the long flight home, of Luke and Aldo becoming father and son, became real.
And then shattered as she registered the tears smearing her son’s cheeks and the sharp frown on Luke’s face.
Luke dropped Aldo and Halle grabbed her son’s shoulder before he could launch another attack on Luke’s shins. ‘Don’t, Aldo, that’s enough.’
‘I hate him,’ her son sobbed, crumpling against her. ‘He hit Trey.’
‘I know. He won’t do it again.’
Luke looked shell-shocked, what he’d done finally beginning to dawn on him. She glared at him over her child’s head. Not caring.
How could he have reacted like that? In anger and aggression without a thought to the consequences? How could he have put her children and Trey through this? She’d trusted him. How could she have been stupid enough to think for even a second that he would ever put her needs, her children’s needs above his own?
‘Lizzie.’ She turned to her daughter, who stood forlornly in the corner, sniffing back tears. ‘Could you take your brother upstairs? I’ll be up in a moment to talk to you both, but I need to talk to your father first.’
She prayed that Lizzie wouldn’t throw a wobbly, but she braced for it anyway. To her astonishment, Lizzie simply sucked up the last of her tears and threw a consoling arm round her brother’s shoulders, before giving her a nod. The expression on her face was one of sympathy and solidarity and total faith. ‘Don’t worry, Aldo. Mum will sort this out.’
Sending her dad a furious glare, she led her brother out of the room, saying, ‘You were really brave, you know. Trey would be proud of you.’
‘Who the hell is that guy, and what was he doing with my daughter?’ Luke went on the offensive as soon as Aldo and Lizzie had left the room.
Halle’s temper soared, the sense of betrayal consumed by her fury.
‘That guy is Trey, our au pair. And what he was doing with our daughter was obvious. The question is what the hell did you think you were doing assaulting him like that?’
‘What was I doing assaulting him?’ He thumped his chest, like the Neanderthal he was. ‘He was assaulting my daughter. She’s just a kid.’
‘She’s eighteen years old. I was pregnant with her at that age.’
‘It’s not the same thing. She’s innocent. She’s a bloody virgin.’
What planet is he living on?
‘The guy’s in your employ and he’s … what?’ Luke continued, his own fury gathering pace. ‘Five years older than her?’
‘First of all, Lizzie is not a bloody virgin. She lost her virginity when she was sixteen to a toerag called Liam. And if ever anyone deserved a good kicking, he was the one. Not Trey.’
She tried to dismiss the sharp pang of guilt at the look of abject horror on Luke’s face. She’d known he was labouring under some delusions about his daughter’s true nature. Maybe she should have said something back in Tennessee. But really it had never even occurred to her to clue him in on Lizzie’s sex life. And she’d been right not to, she reasoned. What her daughter chose to confide in her father was her own affair.
‘But even if she was a virgin,’ she said, ‘she’s more than old enough to make her own choices. And if she chooses to kiss Trey in her own home, she’s entitled to do that.’
‘You call that a kiss?’ he sputtered, most of the wind sucked out of his sails. ‘It looked like a lot more than that to me. He had his tongue down her throat.’
‘And she had her hand down his pants,’ she shot back and saw Luke flinch.
‘Don’t remind me.’ He groaned, collapsing onto the sofa. ‘I’m never going to get that picture out of my head.’ He clutched his head in his hands as if he were trying to erase the image.
She spotted the abrasion across his knuckles, where they had connected with Trey’s jaw, and her temper ignited all over again.
‘And I’m never going to get the picture out of my head of you punching him in the face. And neither is our daughter. Or my son. The boy you told me not five minutes ago you would do everything in your power not to hurt. Well, guess what, Luke? You failed on that one at the first hurdle.’
She realised she was literally vibrating with anger now. But beneath the temper was the huge well of hurt. She’d trusted him. Just as she’d trusted him once before. And he’d failed her, again.
She should have seen this coming. She should never have been foolish enough to think for even a moment that Luke and she could have a future. This was her own fault, for allowing herself to be led astray again by feelings that were twenty years out of date.
‘I need you to leave, now,’ she said, a part of her heart ripping open when he stared at her through his fingers. All her foolish hopes of considering a future with him were exposed as the stupid pipe dreams they actually were.
His dark scowl had disappeared to be replaced by … what? Regret? Sorrow? She didn’t know, and she couldn’t let herself care. Luke had always been a lost cause. How many times was she going to be forced to face that fact before she finally believed it?
‘Don’t do this, Hal, not again.’ Luke stood, his legs shaky, the finality on her face tearing him to pieces.
‘Don’t do what?’ she said, the neutral tone scaring him even more. He could handle her temper, but nothing? He couldn’t handle nothing.
‘Don’t shut me out. We can fix this. We can fix this if we do it together.’
‘You must be bloody joking.’
‘I shouldn’t have hit him. I realise that. It was a stupid, irrational knee-jerk reaction, but it was a major shock to my system. I hadn’t expected to walk in here and find my daughter necking with some guy I don’t know on the couch.’
‘I know that. It was a shock for me, too. But you didn’t see me trying to hit anyone.’
‘Yeah, but it wasn’t as much of a shock for you because you’re a much bigger part of Lizzie’s life than you’ve ever let me be.’
He had tried not to say it, tried not to go there. But suddenly the unfairness of it all made him want to yell. So he’d overreacted. Gone off the deep end. He’d just had one hell of a rude awakening, discovering his little girl wasn’t his little girl any more.
But was that really all his fault?
‘That’s not true,’ she said. ‘I let you see her.’
‘For six measly weeks of the year.’ The fury grew to disguise the panic, the self-disgust. He flexed stinging knuckles and gave his resentment free rein. ‘Do you know what that’s like? To put her back on a train and know you’re not going to see her again for months? And when you do, she’ll have changed again and you’ll have lost another huge chunk of her childhood?’
‘But you never asked for more!’ Halle gaped at him.
‘Of course I asked for more. I asked your goddamn solicitor about reviewing the visitation rights a hundred times. And when he stonewalled me, I tried to contact you. But my emails bounced back. Your mobile always went to voicemail.’ He paced to the door. ‘The only thing I didn’t do was ask Lizzie, because the one thing I couldn’t bring myself to do was make her a go-between. So I had to pretend I was OK with the littl
e time you’d give me. Even though I could feel her drifting further and further out of reach as she got older.’
‘I didn’t know’ was all she said.
‘Why would you? You wouldn’t talk to me, remember.’
‘I told you I was sorry about that. What more can I do?’
‘Let me stay now.’ He pounced on the opening. ‘Let’s try to make this right together. Don’t close me out again. Or what chance do we have for our future?’
‘What future? What are you talking about?’
He stared at her. So this was it. The moment when one of them would have to break cover. He could run away now, lick his wounds, as he’d done sixteen years ago, or he could hold his ground and fight—and admit that his feelings had changed and that he wasn’t that sad little bastard any more who had never felt worthy of her.
‘I want to be with you, Halle. This trip has convinced me that I want to at least try. Don’t chuck that chance away because I did something stupid and rash. Something I already regret.’
She bit her lip, her eyes going glassy with shock … and something … For one bright shining moment, he thought she might admit she felt the same way. That the past twelve days hadn’t just been about forgiving their past and repairing their relationship as Lizzie’s parents, that it had the potential to be so much more.
But his hope died when she said, ‘I have to put my children first. You must see that. Maybe if …’
‘This can’t wait. Either you want to make this work or you don’t.’ This was it. Her chance to admit she felt the same. She had to give him something here. Otherwise, he would spend the rest of his life on the outside. Being never quite good enough. Always being tested and found wanting. He’d spent his whole miserable childhood feeling like that and it had nearly destroyed him. Either she thought this thing they had was worth fighting for or she didn’t.
‘Don’t make me choose between my children and you,’ she said.
Weariness engulfed him, and a futile feeling of despair. The last of the fight, the fury draining away.
It wasn’t any good. No matter what he said. If she couldn’t see it had never been a choice, then what chance had they ever had?
