Nuts About You: A Testicular Cancer Anthology

by Anthology

  Acknowledgements

  The important people

  Thank you to my Beta Readers: Betsy, Kelly, Kristin, Louise, Petra, and Summer.

  Thank you to Freya Barker for nailing this cover and doing it SO fast.

  Thank you to my girls, Amanda, Michelle, and Tyf, for reading through the snippets and teasers I sent them and being honest with me when I asked over a million times, “Is this funny? No, is it really funny?”

  Thank you to Louise for asking me to write this book for the Testicular Cancer Anthology and donating the proceeds to worthwhile organizations.

  Thank you to my readers for buying and loving my work. I have so much more to share with you.

  And finally, but most importantly… Thank you to my loves: my husband James, for ALWAYS supporting me, our diva darling, and our lil man. You three are why I get up every morning and where some of the awesome and hilarious in my books comes from! (Don’t blush James!)

  About the Author

  Skye Turner is an avid reader and an editor turned Internationally Bestselling Author of Sexy Adult Romance spanning all genres.

  She attended Southeastern Louisiana University and Louisiana State Universitywhere she majored in Mass Communications, centering her studies in Journalism. Unfortunately, life intervened and she never finished her studies.

  She lives in small town Louisianawith her husband, two children, and eight fur babies.

  When she's not chained to her laptop pounding out sexy stories she can usually be found playing ‘Supermom’, reading, gardening (playing in the dirt), listening to music and dancing like a fool, cooking, baking, crafting, or catching up on her family oriented blog.

  She loves to incorporate pieces of Louisiana into her writing.

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  Since I Now Have You

  A SINCE YOU’VE BEEN GONE NOVELLA

  by

  S M Phillips

  1

  “You’re my biggest weakness and my greatest regret…”

  I pause for a moment, pull myself from my thoughts and watch her tenderly. My life. My light, my whole reason for living and I still can’t believe that after all this time she’s stood here right in front of me. This is the kind of thing that I could only dream of. She’s completely oblivious to the crazy war of emotions that she evokes from deep within me.

  Pain, anger, sadness encased with happiness, excitement, disbelief, and passion… so much passion.

  Even though it tears me apart inside. It’s true, every single word. I wish that I had of fought for her harder, tried to find her sooner. God, so many years wasted and so many memories that could have been made between us – gone. All because I chose to believe lies and listen to someone who I thought had my best intentions at heart; only to find out that they were just thinking of themselves all along. I don’t know why I was so surprised. Fran was always out for herself. Jesus, never in my wildest dreams did I ever allow myself to imagine, or believe that Lucy and I would ever be here now.

  “Are you being mushy again?” She smiles back at me and it’s highly contagious. Everything about Lucy is contagious. She’s the kind of girl that everyone wants to be, but it seems that nothing has changed over the years, no matter what me or anyone else says to her, she just doesn’t see it.

  “Yeah, I guess. Just thinkin’ over a few things is all.”

  I stand, rubbing my clammy hands down my thighs to try and smooth out my pants. “Jeez, it’s too warm for these.” I mutter to myself. I knew I should have gone for something lighter, but then she’d know that something was off and I don’t need that. No, I need today to go as seamlessly as possible.

  “Is that right?” she shouts back at me and I stand motionless, completely taken aback by her sheer beauty as she skips excitedly towards me. You know it’s crazy, after all these years that have passed by between us, all the lies, all the heartache, she still looks at me like I’m her everything. I hope she knows that she’s my everything too.

  When I wake up in a morning and see that she’s still here beside me, I promise myself time and time again that I’ll never let her down again for as long as I live. She’s far too precious for me to lose her again. “It is.” I whisper into the crook of her neck when she reaches me and I lift her slightly and spin around with her, holding onto her with a bit more force than I originally intended.

  God, it feels amazing to have her pressed against me. It’s just a shame that we’re out in public.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see soon enough.” Honestly, she must have asked about a hundred times already, but I’m not prepared to divulge anything that I don’t have too. I’ve been planning this for weeks and it’s taken everything within me to keep schtum. I’ve been tempted to let slip so much. But, I’m proud to say that I’ve managed to keep everything on the low. So far, so good.

  “Come on, don’t keep me hanging much longer. I’ve been patient enough. Can you not just give me a clue? Just a tiny one?”

  “Nope.” Jesus, this is hard. I guess she just has that kind of effect on me. “No can do.”

  “That’s just evil. I thought we said no more secrets?”

  Wow. Talk about a low blow. I know she doesn’t mean anything by it and it’s just her way of trying to pry the hidden information out of me, but at the same time it still cuts deep. “It’s not a secret, I’ve just not disclosed all of it yet that’s all.”

  I’m getting nervous now and my hand swipes down along my jaw as I try to keep my eyes focused on the road ahead of me. What if this isn’t what she wanted? Maybe I should have asked her first. Both of us have changed so much over the years that we’ve been separated. Maybe she doesn’t enjoy all the things that she used to. Shit…

  “Hey, what’s wrong? Jake…”

  Lucy’s voice is as delicate as ever and I hate the fact that she probably thinks that she’s upset me. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Maybe I’m just trying too hard to please her, to make up for everything that went wrong in the past. “Nothing.” My hand rests on her thigh and I feel a desperate breath escape her. Whether it’s from relief that I’m okay or from my touch it’s a little hard to tell. Hey, it could be from both. “Are you okay?”

  “I guess. I’d be a lot happier if I knew what we were doing though.” She teases while placing her hand over mine.

  “I promised to make you happy if you gave me the chance and that’s what I’m trying to do. All I have ever wanted to do was to be the one to make you happy.”

  “What’s gotten into you today? You’re acting all weird. And you do…”

  “Lucy…” I try to stop her, but she cuts me off just as quick.

  “… You do make me happy. So happy Jake.”

  I cut the engine and wait for Lucy to say something, anything, but it feels like my whole life has been put on slow motion. “We’re here.” I say weakly, trying to break the awkward silence.

  I chance a quick look at her and see that her beautiful face is all scrunched up in confusion. “Okay, but what are we doing here? I know I said you were acting weird before, but I take it all back. Now you’re acting weird. What’s going on?”

  “I thought we could do with a break and I know a guy…”

  “You know a guy?”

  “Yep. I know a guy and a girl actually, and they were extremely happy to help me with my little project.” I say and I see everything click
into place and her face lights up as a smile dances across her lips. God she’s so perfect. I’ve always loved everything about her, right from the off when she decided to share the contents of her stomach with me that first night we met.

  “Hang on a minute… You’re telling me that Hannah and Daniel were in on this too and none of them said a word to me? Daniel, I totally understand, but Hannah. How could she do that to me?”

  “Trust me, she wasn’t happy about it.” Hannah, Lucy’s best friend, the girl who helped me win back the woman of my dreams was fighting my corner once again. I owe her everything and I’ll never forget what she did for me. Especially allowing me to come to her special day so that I could try and win Lucy back. She’s got balls of steel that one. Why would anyone allow a stranger to come to your wedding day to declare their undying love for your best friend after you’d unknowingly broken her heart many years ago, personally, I’ve got no idea, but boy am I glad that she agreed.

  Planning this little getaway was a different matter altogether. I’d been planning it for weeks and I even went as far as booking it before I even confided in them.

  “You can’t just up and leave Jake. Lucy’s got commitments. Maybe you should check with her first, make sure that she actually wants to go away.” Hannah told me, but good old Daniel didn’t see anything wrong with it. In fact, he was well and truly fighting in my corner. Us guys have got to stick together after all.

  “Hannah, of course Lucy will love it. Why shouldn’t she just up and leave. She’s her own boss and God only knows that her and Jake could do with some private time. I think they’ve got a lot of catching up to do. And just think of the romance. You can’t tell me that Jake wanting to whisk Lucy off into the sunset isn’t romantic.” Eventually, he managed to work his new wife around to my idea of thinking and then it was all systems go.

  Now I just had to keep my surprise quiet around her.

  2

  I can’t help but watch Lucy closely as the realisation of what is happening all falls into place. Her eyes are wide and bright and her whole body is tensed with excitement. She looks so happy and finally some of my earlier nerves begin to ebb away slightly.

  “Please don’t tell me we’ve just come here to pick someone up?”

  Oh, now I could be really evil here if I wanted too. I could have a little bit of fun by winding her up a little. “I thought it’d be nice for us to go and grab a bite to eat. My treat?” Her smile fades a little and I feel pretty bad, but I don’t want to give too much away too soon.

  “Oh, I thought…” She begins, her hands falling together as she fidgets in front of me. “Never mind.”

  “Sorry, I thought it would be easier to park up here. I’ve been wanting to try this place out since I saw it when I came down for Hannah’s wedding.” I look over and point to the pub opposite us. It’s not a complete lie. I did think about bringing Lucy here, but then I thought why not kill two birds with one stone and bring her just before we head off. I check my watch and see that we’ve got more than enough time to grab a quick bite to eat.

  “Sounds like a plan. You know I’ve never been here either.” She says and I can tell she’s a little bit gutted at my idea of a surprise. Without saying anything else, she reaches out and grabs my hand firmly in hers and drags me forwards, out of the carpark and across the road to the pub.

  “You grab a seat and I’ll get the drinks.” God this is killing me. The look of defeat on her face had me desperate to spill my guts out to her and reveal everything. I hate the thought of making her sad and those sad puppy dog eyes that she had on display earlier were a fucking killer.

  Stay strong Jake, you have to stay strong.

  I guess that’s easier said than done when she’s my weakness. She could ask me for anything and I’d give it to her with no questions asked, none whatsoever. Some people would probably think that was a sucker’s game, but after everything that I put her through and everything that the two of us missed out on, it’s only fair that I give her everything that she deserves and more.

  “What can I get you?”

  My mind wanders back to the present as I look at the small friendly looking brunette behind the bar. Her smile is kind and welcoming. “I’ll just have a pint and a double vodka and coke, please.”

  “Coming right up.” She smiles effortlessly and I feel like I’ve known her for a whole lot longer than five minutes. “So, you going on your jolly’s or just passing through?” She asks curiously and I feel implied to answer her which isn’t something that I would usually do.

  “A little bit of both, but it’s a surprise.” I wink back, suddenly feeling like a complete and utter knob. What the bloody hell would she care if it’s a secret or not?

  “I see.” She laughs and her eyes land on Lucy. I turn to look at her and see that her nose is buried deep in the food menu. Well, I guess that’s a start. Maybe she does just believe that I’ve taken her for something to eat. “Come back whenever you’re ready to order.”

  “Thank you.” I turn on my heel with our drinks in hand and make my way over to Lucy. Her eyes meet mine as soon as I take a seat and she smiles back with so much happiness in her eyes, it kind of leaves me a little breathless. Could she fucking get any more perfect?

  “Here we go…” Sliding her drink towards her, our hands touch for a moment and sparks fly throughout my whole body at her touch. Jesus Christ, there’s no way that I’ll be able to get away with hiding a boner in the middle of a packed out family pub. I shift a little, trying to discreetly rearrange myself without drawing any unwanted attention to my little situation and Lucy laughs over the top of her menu.” “Something funny?”

  “Nope. Not at all.”

  “You sure?” She knows, and she probably finds it hilarious because there’s nothing that I can do about it. Not a goddamn thing.

  “You know I still can’t believe this. It feels surreal…”

  “What grabbing something to eat?”

  “No, this - us.” Lucy pauses for a moment and grabs her drink, sucking on her straw slowly which in turn does nothing to ease the throbbing sensation in my pants. Surely, she must know what kind of effect she has on me. “You know I never ever thought that I would see you again.” The light in her eyes fades a little and all I want to do is reach out and comfort her. I hate knowing that I was the one who broke her innocent and loving heart. I hate that I’m the one who wasn’t there for her when I should have been. When we met all those summer’s ago, she put every single bit of trust that she had in me. She relied on me and believed all the promises that I made her and I let her down.

  I didn’t do it intentionally, no. I was stupid, young, and naïve, but I still caused her so much pain. Pain that will most likely always be there whenever she thinks back on that period of her life and I feel like such a bell-end. “Then that makes two of us.” I whisper, placing my hand over hers when I can’t hold back any longer. “You know that none of that will ever happen again, don’t you? I’m a man now and I know exactly what I want and what I want is you. It’s always been you Lucy.” I say the words slowly, desperate for her to understand how much I mean them. I didn’t deserve the second chance that she’s given me, but I’m grateful that she has. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to lose you and I never want to feel that way again. For year’s I was lost. No matter what I did there was this huge void that I just couldn’t fill”. Sure, I had my fair share of relationships but they never worked out. I was never settled, never content and I know that’s because the people that I was with weren’t her. They weren’t Lucy; my Lucy.

  “Someone’s definitely being mushy.” She laughs, but it’s her nervous laugh and I can tell that she’s still scared, scared that one day she’ll wake up and I won’t be there. I just know that she’s waiting for me to let her down again. But that is never, ever going to happen.

  “I missed you so much, Jake.” My hand tightens around hers a little bit more as she speaks, her voice cracking ever so slightly. “God, I was
so angry with you. You were the first person that I ever loved and you took my heart openly and then squashed it right in the palm of your hands.”

  “Lucy…” I begin, her home truths hitting me hard, like a massive fucking kick to my already bruised balls.

  “But… over time the anger slowly faded away and I was left with sadness and an emptiness that I couldn’t explain. I tried to move on with my life, but nothing really seemed to work out. Everything was always off. I knew it was because of you, but I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wallowing in self-pity over something that I couldn’t change. Hannah knew though. She’s always been good at reading me, even when I try to keep everything bottled up.”

  “I’m glad, because otherwise I definitely wouldn’t have stood a chance, would I?”

  “Honestly? No, I don’t think you would. I’ll always be grateful to Hannah for that. She’s always had a way of knowing what’s best for me even when I don’t.”

  “I’m glad you had someone like her around to take care of you when all that shit hit the fan… really I am.” I say truthfully. I spent many nights wondering where she was and who she was with. Did she just go back home and move on with her life, or did she still think about me from time to time?

  “Well, hopefully if you behave yourself most of that will become your job now?”

  “Too fucking right it will. I love you Lucy Love and nothing and no one will ever change that. Is that understood?”

  “Loud and clear.” Her hand lands on her head as she salutes me and I can’t help but laugh along with her. God she’s so fucking cute, it’s unreal.

  3

  “Are you ready?”

  We’ve been sat in the pub for the past three hours and I’m conscious that we don’t really have much time to waste now. It’s been nice talking about the things that we have been trying to awkwardly avoid since we started back up again. I know that Lucy will always be worried and thinking about things at the back of her mind or when she thinks that I’m not looking. Hell, I’m worried that one day she might actually wake up and realise that she made a massive mistake by giving me another chance. I hope that’s not the case because not having Lucy in my life again would utterly destroy me. It would be the end for me, but that fear is always going to be there.