Nuts About You: A Testicular Cancer Anthology

by Anthology

Autumn studied me for a moment, her eyes narrowed. “Fine, we’ll play your way.” She leaned down to me and I felt her breasts press against my chest. “But just for the record…I…see…you.” She punctuated each word with a fingernail tapped against my skin.

  I wasn’t quite sure what she meant and I opened my mouth to ask her but she straightened, bracing her hands on me, and finally she began to move, fucking me the way my body craved.

  Up and down she rode me. Faster, harder, gyrating and rocking on me, and I lay beneath her, watching my cock disappear and reappear, glistening from her moisture.

  My body tightened, my breathing quickening until I was panting, my chest heaving. Frantically I touched her, squeezing at her breasts and rubbing her clit, anything in a desperate bid to bring her to orgasm before me.

  She was wet, soaking wet. I could tell by the audible sound of it where our bodies connected and I felt it in the warmth of her juices that trickled from her, wetting my balls.

  The problem was, my release was coming at me like a freight train, sending a series of tingles up and down my spine, gathering momentum until I felt like my body was on fire. It was building in me so fast I knew I couldn’t slow it down. My thighs hardened under Autumn, feeling like the muscles were made from stone and, although it was enough to make my injuries protest, the pleasure building in me was overriding any pain for now.

  My balls felt like soccer balls to me, they were so hard and tight. My dick swelled, growing even bigger and harder as I barrelled towards my orgasm.

  I could hear roaring in my ears, loud enough to deafen my ragged breathing and the soft cries coming from Autumn. I rubbed at her clit like I was possessed, wanting to make her come, desperate not to finish before her, needing to make this good for her since this was more than likely a one-time deal. Scratch that. It had to be a one-time deal. I was too fucked up to be of any use to anyone.

  I shut my eyes, squeezing them tightly, trying to cut off the sight of her on me, breasts bouncing from her vigorous movements. ‘Hold on, hold on, hold on,’ I began the mantra in my head, trying anything and everything to stop myself coming.

  Her movements slowed on me and her scent flooded my senses when she bent down, her hair tickling my chest and her breasts against me. Lips brushed my ear but still I refused to open my eyes because I wanted to convince myself if I couldn’t see her, then I could do this.

  “Stop doing this to yourself. It’s ok to come first. It’s been five years. Just come.” She whispered and my eyes shot open as she straightened, seeing the gentleness in hers. “Come.” She mouthed the word again - or perhaps she said it, I couldn’t really tell over the pounding of my heart and the rasping sound of my breathing.

  Faster this time she resumed her movements on me and my hands grasped at her hips, my fingers digging into her soft skin. I held onto her, forcing her to rise and fall even faster, bucking up to meet her movements, and I watched her, her expression, the way her breasts bounced and swayed, and I felt her tightening around me, doing everything in her power to bring me to orgasm.

  My whole body felt like it was turning into stone; every muscle hardening. I bowed, shoving my head into my pillows, my lips parted, and a sound unlike anything I’d ever heard before worked its way up my throat and out of my mouth. My balls tucked up hard against my body and I started to come.

  It was both an agony and an ecstasy. It was the most intense release I’d had in as long as I could remember. It went on and on, and I wondered briefly, as the pleasure consumed every pore, every hair, every single part of me, if I might die from this orgasm?

  I shuddered, my body trembling violently as jet after jet of cum fired from my cock and into Autumn. I bucked and bowed, thrusting into her, feeling my release coat her pussy, filling her until there was nowhere for it to go and, when finally I was done and I collapsed, my body sagging into the mattress, I felt the steady flow of my cum trickle from her, wetting my balls and soaking into the sheet beneath me.

  Chapter Six

  I opened my eyes, staring up into Autumn’s face and I felt myself flush when I realised she’d been watching me. An orgasm was an intensely personal thing. That one time when we have no control over what our bodies do or what expression we have on our faces - and she had just witnessed mine.

  She didn’t say anything; she simply smiled and placed her hands back on my stomach as she began to rise and fall on me again. I shuddered since my cock was so sensitive but I realised too, as she rode me gently, steadily, that I was still as hard as I’d been prior to my orgasm.

  It seemed that despite the intensity of it, I was not done. Ok, I felt drained, my limbs heavy as they lay on the bed, but clearly my dick still wanted to party.

  With the all-consuming edge taken off my desire I could focus on Autumn more, and as she moved on me I caressed her, working my fingers over her clit, flicking it and rubbing it, listening to the subtle shift in her breathing. When she gasped or sighed, when she caught a breath and held it; they were all messages given to me by her body and I listened to them, using that knowledge to give her what she needed and wanted: to bring her to orgasm too.

  When her movements on me became more erratic, and her sighs and moans grew louder, I knew she was close. I plucked at her nipples, watching them harden even more, keeping one hand that alternated between them while my other hand played with her clit.

  Her eyes closed, her head falling back until I could feel her hair brushing my legs and I couldn’t take my eyes off the stunning vision that she was. She was as tight as a bow string, poised on the brink of her release, and as my own body responded with an answering passion, I pushed her over the edge.

  She cried out, filling the room with the sound of my name on her lips. I watched the blush form across her chest and neck as she trembled violently on me, her inner muscles pulsing around me, milking me until I could do little more than follow her over into my own euphoria.

  My cries were deeper than hers but they echoed the same level of passion. I filled her again with my release and her body milked me, squeezing every last drop from me.

  As I relaxed under her for the second time, her head came forward, her chin resting on her chest as if it was too heavy for her to hold up.

  I reached for her, pulling her down onto my chest, feeling the humid breaths as she panted against my neck, and listening to her loud breathing that sounded as tortured as mine.

  She finally lifted her head enough to look into my eyes and hers were filled with sleepy satisfaction. As I stared at her I felt a twinge of something in my chest, that first tiny something that told me my heart wanted to let this woman in.

  Of course I wasn’t in love with her. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, or first fuck as was the case here, but she was beautiful and she hadn’t acted revolted by my scars. She sure as hell wasn’t put off by my abuse when I’d tried to get her to leave earlier. Now she’d fucked me. Bloody hell, she’d fucked me alright. I hadn’t come that hard in years. I hadn’t come twice so close together in…forever.

  What was I going to do with her, with this beautiful new neighbour of mine? Right now, looking into her sleepy face, I just wanted to kiss her. Reaching up to cup her cheeks, I brought her head to mine and, when I felt her soft breaths across my lips, I took hers in a kiss, deepening it, making her open to me so I could slide my tongue in and taste her.

  The kiss was a gentle one; a slow exploration of one another but there was no passion. We were both too tired for that. We kissed until we were out of breath; we kissed until finally Autumn began to yawn. I could have assumed she wasn’t enjoying it but I knew she was tired. I could feel it in the way her body was settling on mine and, when I released her lips and she lowered her cheek to my shoulder, it didn’t take long for her breathing to deepen and she drifted off to sleep, still lying on me, the last of my fading erection still inside her.

  Somehow I worked my way out from under her, ignoring my protesting muscles. Although she’d done most of the work since she
’d been on top, I still wondered if I was going to end up in a world of pain for this unexpected pleasure.

  I could only hope the gods were smiling down on me and gave me a break. I was too tired right now to worry about it and once I had Autumn by my side, I eased my sore and tired body into a more comfortable position before closing my eyes, and following her into blissful slumber.

  “Don’t look now but we’re being watched.” That soft, lyrical voice dragged me out of a sound sleep and my eyes shot open, my heart pounding as I had that ‘what the hell’ moment, before the night and early morning flashed through my head and I remembered where I was and what had happened.

  I turned my head to find Autumn staring intently towards the foot of the bed and my focus shifted to see what it was that had drawn her attention.

  Blue eyes the colour of a summer sky peered over the end of the bed, eyes that I was sure were filled with both disapproval and condemnation. “Don’t move. He likes dining on human body parts but he has a real thing for toes. He literally cannot get enough of them and will spend hours stalking people, waiting for the opportunity to strike and make his claim.”

  “What?” Her confused eyes turned to me. “Toes? What on earth are you talking about?”

  “He eats them. I’m serious. If you don’t believe me, wiggle yours and see what happens.” I waved my fingers encouragingly at her.

  “Have you been taking too much of your medication?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

  I rolled mine. “Jesus woman, I’m good enough to fuck but not good enough for you to trust. Tell me what part of all fucked up is that.” I yelled, although I wasn’t really angry. “Fine, I’ll take one for the team. If I need a blood transfusion after this, my blood type is A. Remember that so you can tell the paramedics.”

  Autumn laughed. “You seem in a much better mood today. No trace of Mr Asshole. Sex seems to have turned you into a much nicer person. There’s hope for you yet then?”

  Although she said the words with a smile on her face, I didn’t see the humour in it. She barely knew me and yet she’d noticed a change in my demeanour. I was less of the grumpy asshole and actually feeling something I hadn’t felt in a long time: happy. Immediately the guilt settled over me again like a thick, restrictive cloak. I wasn’t allowed to be happy. I didn’t deserve it. Not after what had happened.

  “I think you should go.” I said, pulling myself upright and swinging my legs onto the floor. “I have a lot to do today.”

  Autumn scrambled up, her smile fading. “Wait a minute. What’s wrong? You were fine and now the asshole is back. Don’t you like being happier? Is that it?” She asked, climbing off the bed and hunting around for her clothes, pulling on her t-shirt, minus the bra.

  Her nipples were hard peaks against the fabric, drawing my eyes to them, but I forced my gaze back to her face. I couldn’t kick her out if I was ogling her breasts and near drooling down the front of myself in the process. I also needed to get her out before I got a boner from looking at her. I was 29 years old, too old to be cracking a fat at the sight of a bit of boob. Hell, it wasn’t even her boobs. It was her nipples showing like hard bumps through her t-shirt.

  I willed my dick to behave as I glared back at her, forcing my eyes to stay on hers and not move lower. I knew she had nothing on under that t-shirt yet, no panties, nothing, and just thinking that caused some stirring in my nether regions. I was tempted to grab him and squeeze the hell out of him so the pain killed him before he could stand up and wave his damned head about at her, but that would only draw unwanted attention to the very area of my body I didn’t want her looking.

  The irony wasn’t lost on me either. Normally I didn’t want anyone seeing my scars or knowing they existed. Sure, people knew something was wrong, that I had an injury, since I couldn’t walk without limping, but never would I have imagined myself standing before a beautiful woman naked and being worried about her looking at my cock, and not the network of scars that covered my stomach and right thigh.

  She was still glaring at me but I could see the hurt behind her anger. I felt a flash of guilt but I ignored it, hardening my heart against it. I needed her gone. I couldn’t let anyone in, not even her, despite last night and her giving me the most intense pleasure that I’d had in years.

  “Just go, please. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have given you the impression this was anything more.” I began, but she stormed around the bed and slapped me hard across the face once she was in front of me.

  The sound was like a gunshot in my room and she hit me with enough force to jerk my head sideways. She sure as hell didn’t hit like a girl I thought, rubbing a palm over my jaw.

  “You are an asshole. Why, why did I think that might change? I thought that…” She fell silent for a moment and I saw her throat working as if she was trying to keep her emotions in check. When she lifted her head again, I saw nothing but a cold, distant look in her eyes. “You know what? Fuck you. If this is how you treat people, going from zero to sixty on the nice to nasty speedo, then I don’t want to know you. Last night was a mistake. Hell, I only fucked you because I felt sorry for you.” I felt pain lance through me at her words but I said nothing. What could I say? I’d brought this shit on myself. I should have known too. No one would ever really want me, looking the way I did.

  “Get out.” I told her, my voice soft. I watched her hastily pull on the rest of her clothes before she shot me another angry look and walked out of my bedroom.

  I snatched up a blanket from the bed, wrapping it around my waist, and followed her. Her movements were agitated as she gathered up some things she must have brought with her when she’d come back after dropping her hound from hell off at her place. “Make sure you keep that overgrown mutt at your place too. I don’t want him bothering me again.” I called as she stormed out the front door, hesitating slightly at my final words but otherwise not acknowledging me at all.

  As soon as she was gone I stumbled back to my bedroom and into the shower. What the fuck had happened? The last twelve hours had been the most confusing and surprising hours that I’d experienced in…well…forever.

  All because of that huge mutt of hers. It was him. What did she call it? Tiny? Why call it Tiny? That overgrown beast was not even remotely tiny. Not even its huge paws. That had led to the humiliation of ending up on the ground at her feet, again. Was I destined to always end up falling over around her? I snorted. After the way I’d just treated her it was unlikely I’d ever see her again, let alone end up falling over in front of her.

  I felt an ache in my chest as I stood under the hot water and soaped up my skin, my hands following the ridges of my scars, my thoughts on Autumn and when it had been her hands on them. She had traced them with her fingers and I hadn’t seen any revulsion in her expression but she must have been a better actress than the others I thought bitterly. After all, she’d admitted to fucking me because she felt sorry for me.

  I shouldn’t have let her help me. I shouldn’t have let her in. I’d lived like a near recluse for the past five years for a reason: to avoid the pain of being hurt by someone. I didn’t deserve any kind of happiness either. I’d killed my brother. The brother I’d loved more than anyone else. I’d failed to help him when he’d clearly needed me. I didn’t deserve to be happy, not now, not ever. No, I had to stay away from Autumn. She’d given me one night of pleasure. A night where I could pretend everything was fine but, in the cold, harsh reality of day, nothing would ever be right for me again.

  Chapter Seven

  “You know, you really are a miserable bastard.” I told Samson as I placed his bowl on the floor, watching him sniff at my offerings with his classic look of disdain. He raised his blue eyes to mine and I got the distinct impression he was giving me the ‘pot calling the kettle black’ kind of look. Of course he was right. I was a miserable bastard too. We were well matched. I knew I’d been an even bigger miserable bastard in the week since Autumn and I had had sex.

  It shouldn’t hav
e affected me. It was one night. One unexpected night. I should never have let her in, even for a moment. I snorted. I wouldn’t have let her in. Damn, stubborn woman wouldn’t leave despite me being horrible to her. She’d given me sex and been so sweet but, by her own admission, she’d done it all out of pity. I could handle a lot of shit in life. I did every day, just getting through the pain of my injuries and the fucked up state of my head following Adam’s suicide. But I couldn’t live with being pitied. Nothing made me feel more pathetic and like a loser than that look of pity. I didn’t need pity or sympathy for that matter.

  Life was what it was. Shit was shit. Some of us just had more to dig our way out of. Chances were, Adam wouldn’t like the miserable bastard I’d become. He was way too upbeat for misery, or so I’d thought. He’d wanted me to live life to the fullest after surviving the accident that everyone said I’d defied the odds of living through. I’d done as he suggested. I’d sold my business. I’d been good at my job too, spending years helping companies raise money and make money, and I’d made people very wealthy, including myself, working as an investment banker.

  It was a demanding job that had me travelling a lot and often working twelve hour days. I’d had little time for anything other than work and making money; lots of it.