by Carian Cole
Shaking my head, I turn the radio down. “No. We’re going to his house so you two can meet him and get to know him. None of the guys will be there.”
“Can I talk to the bird?” Tommy quips from the back seat. “Will he talk back to me?”
I smile at him in the rear-view mirror. “Yes, you can talk to Ray, and he will probably talk back.” I pray that Ray doesn’t say anything inappropriate.
Macy turns the radio back up. “I can’t believe we’re going to Lukas Valentine’s house. This is epic. Dad had a major episode when I told him. Charlene’s a fan. Did you know that?”
“What?” I ask. “You told him?”
The car behind me blasts their horn at me to move. “Mom, it’s not gonna get any greener. Go,” Macy says, rolling her eyes.
I step on the gas and grip the wheel, trying to get my sudden stress attack under control. My mind is racing in a million different directions. I’m nervous enough bringing the kids over to Lukas’ house for the first time, but knowing Macy told Paul, and that the home wrecker is a fan of Ashes & Embers, is just adding to my anxiety.
“Honey, I’d rather you didn’t tell your father what I was doing.”
“I’m sorry. I was just excited. He got really mad, though, when Charlene said she went to one of their concerts last year.”
“Well, let’s try not to add to the stress of the situation, okay?”
“I wasn’t trying to. They fight all the time anyway.”
“Who does?” I ask, turning into Lukas’ parking lot.
“Dad and Charlene. Every time I’m on the phone with Dad, she’s whining in the background, and the few times I’ve visited, she’s like, the face of misery.” She looks out the window and then at me. “Why are we stopped?”
I smile at her. “This is where Lukas lives.”
I watch her face light up like only a crazy excited teenager’s can. “What? You’re dating a guy who lives in an old stone church? Mom, for real, I totally want to be you.”
“You can live in church?” Tommy asks as we get out of the car.
I take his hand. “Yes. It’s not a church any more, but it was a very long time ago. Now, it’s been turned into a house.”
He stares up at the building as we get closer to the door. “Do I have to be quiet? And pray?” he asks.
I smile down at him and squeeze his hand. “Well, you shouldn’t yell, since it’s his house, but you don’t have to whisper, and you don’t have to pray.”
“I’m gonna pray he hooks me up with Talon,” Macy jokes.
I don’t know why I’m always surprised when Macy talks about guys, because I was actually only a few months older than she is now when I became pregnant with her. Was I really that young when I was having sex, thinking I was in love? I felt so old and mature at the time. No wonder my parents were worried sick. I cannot even imagine Macy being pregnant and getting married any time in the near future. I shudder at the thought of it.
Lukas answers the door with a big smile and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek, and I’m grateful that he’s being conservative with the affection in front of my kids. He looks extra hot and cute today, wearing a black beanie on his head, his long hair poking out, a white t-shirt, faded jeans, and my favorite black and white sneakers.
“Hey,” he says, shaking Tommy’s hand. “I’m Lukas.”
Tommy literally beams at him. “I’m Tommy! Your house is so cool!”
Lukas laughs. “Well, thanks, Buddy. Come on in.”
“Holy shit,” Macy gasps, gaping around the house as we move into the living room. “This place is incredible.”
“Thank you,” Lukas says. “Make yourselves at home.”
Tommy makes a beeline for the birdcage. “Wow!” he yells. “Look! He’s really real!”
Ray tilts his head and flaps his wings. “I’m a pretty bird,” he says.
Tommy looks over at us, his eyes wide and his mouth open. “Wow! He really does talk!”
“I want you,” Ray says next, and Lukas and I look at each other and try not to laugh.
Tommy jumps up and down. “He wants me!”
Macy stands next to her brother and looks at us, crossing her arms with a teasing smile on her face. “What an interesting thing for a bird to say,” she says.
I grab both of their hands and pull them away from the incriminating bird. “Okay, let’s leave the bird alone so he doesn’t get scared. He’s probably not used to lots of people, right, Lukas?”
Lukas nods quickly. “That’s right. He gets a little crazy around crowds.”
I sit on the couch and watch as Lukas shows the kids around his house, answering Tommy’s endless questions about the antiques and statues and Macy’s fawning over the band. He’s patient and sweet with them both, and I can tell they genuinely like him. He wins them over even more by bringing them into the kitchen and letting them build their own mini pizzas to bake with various toppings and dough he made earlier. My mind wanders as I watch them together, going to places that maybe it shouldn’t be going yet, but I can’t help thinking that Lukas will make a great stepfather.
With every week that goes by, I’m growing more attached to him and falling more in love with him, wanting more of him and more with him. And now, my fears of the kids not liking him have pretty much been obliterated.
He catches me watching him with the kids and winks at me from across the room. I want to smother him with happy kisses but hold myself back, not wanting to be too kissy and touchy in front of the kids. I’m not sure how Paul and Charlene behave in front of them, but I don’t want them feeling awkward around us.
After dinner, I help Lukas clean up the kitchen while the kids go hang out in the living room.
“They’re great kids,” he says, pulling me into his arms for a quick hug. “They both have great personalities.”
“Thank you. They really like you. I can tell.”
He grins. “They must take after their mother.”
I cross the room to the doorway and look out at them in the living room, seeing Tommy sitting on the floor playing a video game and Macy curled up on the couch reading one of Lukas’ art books.
He comes up and wraps his arms around me from behind, leaning his head against mine. “See? They’re happy here, Ivy. Macy’s reading, not sitting on her phone texting. And your son just made an amazing pizza.”
I nod and relax back against his muscular body. “You’re right.”
He gently turns me around to face him. “I’m babysitting Katie tomorrow night, and I have her all day on Sunday. Why don’t you and Tommy come over tomorrow for dinner, stay overnight, and then spend the day with us on Sunday? I have two guestrooms, so they’ll each have their own rooms. It’ll be fun. Katie’s adorable. You’ll love her.”
I hesitate to answer, not because I don’t want to, but because it feels like another big step in the staircase of this relationship. Tommy and I both spending the night with Lukas, and meeting a child in the family, which is serious to me. It means we’re becoming more involved in each other’s lives and families, and other people’s feelings are at stake.
His forehead creases as he studies my face. “What’s worrying you?” he asks softly.
“Getting the kids more involved . . . it’s a big step.”
“I know that, and I wouldn’t ask you to do it if I wasn’t completely serious about you and wanting to be part of your life. I don’t hurt people.” He squeezes my waist. “And I definitely wouldn’t be wanting to spend time with your kids unless I was sure this was going in the right direction.”
“I know that. I do.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “All right . . . we’ll stay tomorrow night. I think Tommy will like that. He seems really comfortable with you.”
He looks over my shoulder at the kids in the living room. “I like him, too. This is what I want.”
“And what’s that?”
He looks down into my eyes and smiles. “You, the kids . . . All of it.”
My
heartbeats start to quicken as his words sink in. “You’re sure?”
“I’m positive. No doubts, baby. This is what I’ve always dreamed of.”
“Okay then. Let’s have a sleepover tomorrow and see how we do with two little kids running around and a bird repeating everything we say.”
Laughing, he hugs me tighter. “That sounds awesome to me.”
IVY
AFTER SPENDING A FEW HOURS WITH Lukas and two little kids, I begin to think he should be running a day care and not a tattoo parlor. He’s absolutely amazing with kids. His five-year old niece, Katie, is the sweetest little girl and adores her uncle. We snuggle on the couch with her and Tommy, watching a few Disney movies, and then Lukas helps them make their own ice cream sundaes. At bedtime, I take Tommy to his guestroom, while Lukas takes care of Katie.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I ask Tommy, tucking him into the huge king-sized bed that he looks dwarfed in.
“I did, Mommy. Lukas is fun, and Katie is, too.”
“I’m glad.”
“Can we come back again?”
I kiss his forehead. “Yes, we definitely will. We’ll probably be spending a lot more time with Lukas. How do you feel about that?”
A big smile spreads across his face. “And Ray, too?”
“Yes, and Ray, too.”
“Mommy, are you going to marry Lukas?”
“I don’t know, sweetie. We like each other very much, though.”
“So, you’re like best friends for now?” he asks.
I smile and nod. “Yes, for now, we’re best friends.”
“Can we get a puppy?”
A puppy? Where did that come from? “We’ll talk about it, okay?
“Okay. Good night, Mommy.”
“Nighty night.” I kiss his cheek and go out into the hall, stopping at the doorway to the other guestroom to watch Lukas with Katie. He’s sitting on the edge of her bed, reading her a story, impersonating the voices. She’s surrounded by stuffed toys, and the dark maroon bed set has been replaced with a pink one with cartoon kittens on it. My heart smiles, realizing that he changed the sheets and comforter just for her. After a few minutes, her eyelids slowly close, and he kisses her softly, arranges her stuffed toys around her, and meets me at the doorway.
“You’re amazing,” I whisper.
“She’s adorable, isn’t she?”
“She is, and so are you.”
He takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom, closing the door halfway. Kicking off his sneakers, he glances back toward the door. “We’ll hafta leave that open in case one of the little ones needs us. I know it’s going to be hard, but you’re gonna have to try to keep your moans of ecstasy down a few decibels.” He pulls his t-shirt off, then the beanie hat, and reaches for me.
“Moans of ecstasy?” I repeat, knowing I’m blushing.
Capturing my mouth with this, he walks us closer to the bed, pulling my shirt off as we move.
“Maybe we shouldn’t fool around with the kids down the hall . . .” I whisper as he unhooks my bra.
“No, no, no . . .” His voice is low as he pulls my bra off and gently cups my breasts in his hands. “We are not going to be those parents who won’t have sex just because the kids are down the hall. We’re just going to be really quiet.”
“Do you know how hard that is?”
“I know exactly how hard it is,” he teases, pressing his body against mine.
Giggling, I nuzzle into his neck. “You’re so bad.”
He gently pushes me down on the bed and quickly pulls off my shoes and pants.
“Get under the covers,” he whispers, pulling the comforter and sheet back. “I want us to be covered in case one of the kids wanders in.”
“Good idea!” I whisper back, crawling under the sheets while he takes his jeans off and climbs into the bed next to me. We lie on our sides face to face, and I push his hair out of his eyes. “Thank you for having us over. I love Katie. She’s so sweet and well-behaved. Tommy loves her, too.”
He rests his hand on my hip. “She really likes you guys, too. I love that kid. She’s my little princess.”
I kiss his lips softly, allowing my heart to tumble further over the feeble wall trying to protect it.
“I’m falling for you pretty bad,” I whisper, playing with his hair. He pulls me on top of him and gathers my hair in his hand, pulling it to the side.
His eyes seek out mine in the dim room. “Ivy . . . me too. So fucking bad I’m falling.”
My heart surges, and I close my eyes, capturing his words and locking them away. His hand caresses my cheek. “Baby, this can be our life. You know that, right? We can be forever.”
Forever. I used to believe in forever, until it ended. Maybe there’s no such thing as forever, and what most people really mean is, as long as it’s easy. Forever seems to be measured in good moments, but ends with the bad.
Staring down into his dark eyes, I know without a doubt that, to Lukas, forever is infinite. I can feel it.
His hands slide down my torso and stop to squeeze my ass. “If you let me . . . I can give you so much, Ivy. Mentally and physically.” He kisses my lips, biting my bottom lip before pulling away, tugging my soft flesh. I gasp and press myself against his hard cock beneath me. “I want to drag you into my world and never let you go.”
“I want that, too, Lukas. Please, don’t think I don’t.”
Bowing my head down, I kiss his lips, softly at first, then deeper, my tongue finally mingling with his. His warm hands slowly creep up my sides, over my shoulders, and down my arms until his hands meet mine. Clasping our fingers together, he raises our hands above our heads against the bed’s headboard, stretching us out.
“I want you to fuck me just like this . . . without using your hands,” he says, his voice low.
“Lukas . . .” Warmth spreads through my body, firing up between my thighs. His dirty talk shocks and excites me, always making me wet instantly. Kneeling up slightly, I position myself over his hard cock and rotate my hips, grinding down on him until I’ve got his moist head at my entrance, and slowly move down onto him, taking him into me.
“That’s perfect,” he whispers, his voice hoarse with desire, his fingers tightening around mine. “I love your body. Let it love me back.”
His words quell my insecurities of feeling less than attractive on top, a position I’ve never been fond of—until now. Seeing him under me, his hair fanned out around his head, those sultry eyes half-closed, and his inked arms stretched over his head, muscles taut, quickens my pulse. Pulling me up further on top of him, he buries his face between my breasts, running his tongue over the soft curves as I slowly ride him, his tongue ring flicking over my nipples and sending electric shocks through me.
His hips rotate against mine, inviting my body to move in unison with his in slow languid circles, pressing up into me as I arch down to meet his subtle thrusts.
“Kiss me.” His voice pulls me from the erotic delirium I had slipped into, but only for a brief moment. I’ve never been commanded or restrained—even for fun—during sex before and could never understand the appeal when I saw it in movies. But having my hands held, being kept from being able to touch him, and being told to kiss him in that sexy raspy boy-man voice is a true aphrodisiac. My body liquefies, melting into him, my mouth crashing down on his, opening to let his tongue slip in. My fingers curl tighter around his.
His thumbs trace small circles against my palms as we make love, and somehow, that ignites an even deeper ache in me. He is always in the moment with me, never losing himself in his own head and body. This simple touch, his fingers gliding over my palms, is so sensual to me, the way his thumbs move in rhythm with his hips, that I completely lose myself, moaning his name against his lips as I shudder on top of him.
“Don’t stop . . .” Still clasping my hands in his, he pushes me up until I’m sitting straight up on top of him. “I want to watch you.” My hands are released, and his slide up to cup my breasts.<
br />
My pussy clenches around him as another jolt of ecstasy courses through me, but the little voices edge into my brain. You probably look fat. You have stretch marks. Get off him and hide under him!
Arching up, his strong arms go around me, pulling me tighter against him, rocking himself into me. “You’re gorgeous,” he groans, pulling my head back by my hair, his lips on my neck, sucking and gently biting. Then, gently, he’s pushing me back, bending me backward until my thighs are spread wider over him, my breasts pointing up as he grips my waist, moving me back and forth on his hard shaft. I become so mesmerized watching him, the way his arm and thigh muscles flex, the droplets of sweat dripping down his chest, glistening over the tattoo of the dragon that almost appears alive on his flesh as he moves, that I almost become paralyzed, unable to move. He is beautiful. He is living art. He is everything I never knew I wanted. And want him, I do.
He grins sheepishly and yanks me up against his chest in one quick, strong movement, cupping his hand against the back of my neck. “Your eyes kill me, Ivy,” he whispers, thrusting upwards inside me so deep that I suck in a breath. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna let you go.”
Gripping his shoulders as we move faster and harder against each other, I kiss his waiting lips. “I don’t think I want you to,” I tease.
Grasping my face in his hands, he kisses me deeply, his cock smoldering deep inside me with a final surge.
IVY
A COUPLES DATE.
A fun dinner at my house with my long-time best friend and her husband shouldn’t be causing me stress. We’ve done it at least a hundred times.
But not with me dating a younger guy.
Setting the dining room table, while Lukas prepares lasagna and chicken parmesan in my kitchen, I glance at Lindsay. She’s nibbling on a breadstick a little too deeply as she practically drools over Lukas as he moves around my kitchen.
“My God, Ivy” she whispers. “You hit the jackpot.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask her.
“Him. He’s sexy as hell, and he even cooks. He’s like a God. I want one.”
