by Carian Cole
He turns back to me. “Well?” he asks.
“I think both scenarios are equally upsetting,” I reply, wondering what the heck is happening on this park bench with these two. Did they arrange this?
He leans back against the bench. “Indeed, they are.”
We sit in silence, watching the birds and squirrels scavenge for food around us. A tiny black feather drifts from above and lands on my leg. I pick it up and hold it gently between my fingers, admiring its soft downy fuzz.
“You know what they say?” Asher asks, standing up.
“About what?”
“A lost feather means an angel is near.”
I stare at the feather and think of all the little black feathers I’ve found in random places over the past few months. Are they a sign? He leans down and kisses the top of my head. “You need to go fill that hole in his heart, okay? You’re family now.”
His friend stands up and stretches. “Nice meeting you.” He nods his chin at me.
“You too . . .” I say, not having a clue who he is. Maybe another brother or cousin? He looks like he could be part of the band, but he definitely wasn’t there the night I saw them at the club. I tuck the feather into my jacket pocket so I can put it with the others in my nightstand.
“One more thing before I go,” Asher says. “He’s going to need your help with something. If you could do it with him, it would mean a lot.”
I look up at him and frown, confused by all of his strange vagueness. “Help with what? Is he okay?”
“He’s okay, sweetness. Just be there for him.”
“All right . . . I will.” I’ll do anything to make things right with Lukas again.
He smiles at me. “You guys are gonna be okay. Set a wedding date soon, so I can make some plans.”
Before I can answer, he and his friend have left and are walking down the pathway to the park exit. I watch them until I can’t see them anymore, wondering where they’re going and if it was a coincidence that Asher found me here. What are the chances of that?
IVY
Me: Can I come over tonight? I really want to see you. And talk.
Lukas: No
My heart drops.
Lukas: Come now. My last appt is leaving in ten mins. I don’t want to wait.
Shit. I can’t tell if this is good or bad.
I tell my manager I have an appointment, and leave the office in a hurry, heading straight to Lukas’ house. I don’t have to pick up Tommy from school, because Paul is picking him up to take him for the weekend, which I’m not happy about after the stunt he pulled with Macy. What if he tries another maneuver like that and uses Tommy? We don’t speak to each other at all since the incident with Macy, so all communication is done via our lawyers. I honestly do not even want him to have joint custody, but my lawyer says that will be a hard fight to win, even after how he manipulated Macy. The lawyer also is afraid that provoking Paul will make him drag Lukas into the situation and try to make him look like a bad influence around Tommy, and that’s the last thing I want.
My hands are shaking with nervousness when I get to Lukas’ house and ring the bell. It’s been almost a month since we’ve seen each other. Despite Asher’s riddling comments, what if Lukas just doesn’t want me anymore?
When he opens the door and lets me in, he looks different to me, like he has aged a bit. He looks tired, but also bigger and more muscular, as if he’s been hitting the gym more than his norm. He looks even more attractive to me now, if that’s even possible.
He says nothing but quickly pulls me into a tight hug in the middle of his front foyer. I wrap my arms around him, so scared that this could be goodbye. I breathe him into me, missing him, his scent, and his embrace.
“We have to talk,” he whispers.
“Yes. We do.”
We move into the living room and sit on the big couch together. He holds my hand but seems to be struggling for words, so I take the lead.
“Lukas, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you, and I can’t apologize for that enough. I just didn’t know who to believe. I love and trusted you both. Trying to figure out which one of you wasn’t telling the truth was hard for me. She’s my daughter.”
He stares past my face, expressionless.
“You were right,” I continue. “Paul bribed Macy with a new car. She planned the entire thing.”
He finally speaks. “I already knew that, Ivy. The problem is, you didn’t believe me.”
An emotional vice clenches my heart. My God, I’ve hurt him so badly, and I swore to him I never would.
“I can only apologize and try to start new. I’m so sorry. She’s my daughter, Lukas. You don’t know how torn I was, not knowing who to believe. She’s never lied to me before.”
His eyes switch up to meet mine, and they are filled with sadness. “Neither have I.”
I squeeze his hand tighter. “I know. It just looked so bad, her coming out of your room with no clothes on. What was I supposed to think?”
“You threw my ring at me. You thew me away.” He takes a deep breath. “You broke my fucking heart.”
My heart pounds with fear against my ribs. “I didn’t mean that. I was scared and confused. All the shit that Paul did to me just bubbled up to the surface.”
“I’ve been scared and confused my entire life, Ivy. Until I met you. And then, you went and tore my heart out. You wouldn’t even listen to me. You made me talk to you out on your front steps, while your ex was inside.”
I cringe at that memory. Why did I do that? He has every right to be furious with me for that, and I deserve it.
“I know, and it was wrong. I can see that so clearly now.” How could I have been so blind? “But, that day, I just couldn’t get my head together.”
“I’m having a hard time dealing with all of this—losing Katie, losing you, Vandal and his problems with his new chick. I can’t fix everyone, especially when I’m broken myself.”
“Lukas, you don’t have to. Vandal can take care of himself. He’s stronger than you think. And we can fix us, if you still want to. I do.”
Saying nothing, he stares at the wall for a few minutes. I know he’s thinking, because that’s what he does. He thinks. But every second that ticks by scares me, not knowing what he’s going to say or do.
“I can forgive you, because I know how torn you were. I had a hard time believing Macy could do something like that myself, and I actually witnessed it. So, yeah, I get it.” I squeeze his hand tighter as he talks. “But, in the future, you have to trust me. There can be no gray area. I cannot . . . I will not be with someone who doesn’t trust me. I need you on my side, no matter what, just like I would be for you. No fucking question.”
“You’re right. You shouldn’t accept any less.”
He sighs and rubs at his eyes.
“I’m so tired. There’s more going on than you know.” I hate the numbness in his voice. I want his smile back and his sexy raspy voice. I want to feel his hands on me.
“Tell me. Please.”
He licks his lips nervously. “It changes a lot.”
Fear ripples through my body, but I nod assuredly. “It’s okay. I love you. I still want to marry you. That hasn’t changed.”
“I want that, too, but it’s a little more complicated now.” He takes a deep breath. “I have to know if we can get through this together, so I can make a decision. So we can both make a decision.”
I can’t follow where he’s going with this conversation. “I’m confused,” I admit. “Did something happen?”
He shuts his eyes for a long moment. “Yes.”
“You’re scaring me.”
“Rio came by last week.”
I tilt my head at him, not sure who that is. “Rio?” I repeat.
“She’s a friend of mine, but I was also involved with her before I met you.”
Oh, no. My heart pounds, knowing that what he’s going to tell me is going to change our lives forever.
LUKAS
; MY WIFE.
I watch her from across the room as she carries Hope from person to person so they can give her a birthday kiss. Hope giggles and waves her little hands around as each person hugs and kisses her. Gram’s house has been turned into a birthday extravaganza for Hope’s first birthday, with balloons and everything unicorn you can think of, including a unicorn-shaped cake that Macy and Tommy helped me bake and decorate that came out awesome. Thankfully, lots of love and patience brought our little family back together.
I didn’t think I could love Ivy more, but I do. Every day, I love her more intensely. She’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of, hoped for, and desired. Like fine wine, she’s getting better with age.
And she’s mine.
My daughter.
I smile as my wife hands Hope over to Vandal for a kiss, and the baby promptly grabs a fistful of his hair in her tiny hand. His girlfriend, Tabi, leans up and kisses his cheek, and he actually laughs, and then hands the baby back to Ivy. I can still see the pain in his eyes, even though he tries hard to hide it. But I see it.
Hope’s the most adorable baby I’ve ever met. She hardly ever cries or fusses. She’s always smiling and laughing. Having her has brought Ivy and me even closer together, strengthening our bond. She’s our little angel, and she’s definitely Daddy’s little girl.
But she’s not mine.
Rio was right; Vandal wasn’t ready for another baby so soon after losing Katie. It would have torn him up inside and sent him into a mental tailspin if he found out she was pregnant with his baby.
And there was no way I was gonna let Rio give my brother’s baby away to strangers to raise.
Ivy approaches me with a very happy, cake-faced baby in her arms, and leans in to give me a big kiss. “We love you,” she whispers. “Thank you for today.”
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her closer, that electric feeling pulsing through me like it always does when she’s near.
“I love my girls,” I say back. “With all my heart.”
IVY
Not long ago, I wished on a shooting star in a dark parking lot with a man that captured my heart and soul the moment our eyes met.
I wished for one thing: for all his dreams to come true.
And within that, all mine came true, too.
The End
TO EVERYONE who has read my books, Thank You! You have helped my dreams come true!
I am continually overwhelmed and blown away with the amount of support I have received by so many people. It would be impossible to thank you all individually, but please know that you are all wonderful and I appreciate every single one of you so much—more than words could ever say. So just know that if you’ve talked to me, pimped me, beta read for me, helped me, attended a take over, or just left me a fun message or picture—I love you and you have made a difference in my life.
And, of course, thank you Eddie for loving me and giving me the perfect writing place of my dreams. xo
I HAVE A passion for the bad boys—those covered in tattoos, sexy smirks, ripped jeans, fast cars, motorcycles, and of course, the sweet girls that try to tame them and win their hearts. My debut series, Ashes & Embers, follows the lives of rock band members as they find, and sometimes lose, the loves of their lives.
Born and raised a Jersey girl, I now reside in beautiful New Hampshire with my husband and our multitude of furry pets. I spend most of my time writing, reading, and vacuuming.
CONTACT CARIAN
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ASHES & EMBERS SERIES
Storm—Ashes & Embers Series Book 1
Purchase from Amazon
Purchase from Amazon UK
Vandal—Ashes & Embers Series Book 2
Purchase from Amazon
Purchase from Amazon UK
Lukas—Ashes & Embers Series Book 3
Thank you for reading Lukas.
Please consider leaving an honest review.
coming soon
Talon—Ashes & Embers book 4
also coming . . .
Storm sequel
Vandal sequel
Mikah’s story
Asher’s story
Rayne’s story
Plunge—a dark sensual romance (standalone)
Sevan—a dark romance (standalone)
Harmony by Addison Jane
Harmony makes no excuses for who she is or what she’s done. For the past few years she’s been living as a club girl for the Brothers by Blood MC. The club girls are there for a purpose—to cook, to clean and to keep the men happy. She respects the club, respects the men and she follows the rules. Watching the men walk in and out of her life is strangely comforting, and a feeling she’s grown accustomed to. With a history of disappointments and false promises, all she wants is to have fun, play music and finish college. Being associated with the club, she can do that without having to risk her heart. That was until he showed up.
When Kit’s father stepped down as president, he took the title with pride. The Brothers by Blood MC is his family, his home. Deciding to celebrate his new title with his brothers from a neighboring chapter, the last thing he expected was to find Harmony—a club girl with all the makings of a perfect old lady. The stunning blonde is beautiful, strong and fiercely independent. Harmony refuses to lower the walls she’s created around her heart, but the fire inside her and her love for the club fuel his need to have her by his side, and on the back of his bike.
When Harmony’s safety is threatened, Kit is determined to do whatever it takes to protect her and prove that she can trust him. But after a lifetime of broken promises, will it be enough?
Available now
