As I rang the doorbell, I sucked in a lungful of crisp evening air and admonished myself to remember that I was no longer that pubescent teen.
“Nico, it’s good to see you. Come in.” Enzo opened the door, extending his hand in greeting.
“It’s good to see you too, Mr. Genovese.”
“Let’s go back to my office and talk.”
I follow him to a large formal office not far off the entry. He closed the door behind us, and I breathed a small sigh of relief at making it inside without any drama. The room was filled with a lifetime of books and memorabilia tastefully displayed on shelves and in glass curios. He bypassed the plaid wingback chairs in a small seating area and instead took his place behind an impressive mahogany desk. I sat opposite him in one of the leather desk chairs and tried not to show my unease.
“I hope this wasn’t an inconvenience. I know it was short notice,” he offered respectfully. That was why Enzo had risen as far as he had. He didn’t leash his men with fear or abuse them like an asshole. The Lucciano boss was exceedingly savvy. He understood the importance of respect and honor while exercising his power over those who followed him. Despite his anonymity, his leadership style was felt down the ranks. His increased presence would only add to the dignity of our outfit.
“Not at all. I’m honored to be here,” I responded easily.
“Good, good. I have an important matter I want to discuss with you. But first, I want to congratulate you on being named capo.”
“Thank you, sir. It was an unexpected honor.”
“When I spoke with Gabe about becoming my underboss, he was quick to recommend you for his replacement. You’ve shown remarkable dedication, drive, and intelligence. With so much of our business concentrated in online pursuits, I think it’s important for us to have plenty of young blood in our ranks. Us old-timers aren’t as savvy on the newest technology. Guys like you and Tony can bring your ideas to the table and be a great asset to our organization.”
“This outfit is my life. I’ll do whatever I can to serve the family.”
“That’s good to hear because I have a sensitive matter for you. As you heard earlier today, we have a number of difficult issues we are dealing with at the moment, making our lives significantly more dangerous than they’ve been in recent years. Now that I’ve come back into the limelight, my family will make for easy targets. Alessia, Maria, and my wife all have protection, but Sofia is a different matter. I know you two went your separate ways, but it’s been years now, and I’m hoping you can mend that broken fence.
“She has no knowledge of our family activities, and I see no reason that needs to change, which makes security for her a bit of an issue. She won’t understand why she needs to be protected and would likely resist the intrusion. I’m hoping, perhaps, if her bodyguard was a childhood friend, we could play off your role as merely a reunion of sorts—an old friend come back into her life.”
The longer he spoke, the louder the ringing sounded in my ears. Surely, it had interfered with my hearing, and I had misunderstood him. He had to have known I’d broken his daughter’s heart, and there was no way she would welcome me back in her life.
This can’t be happening.
The words repeated over and over in my head, but it didn’t matter how many times I heard them, Enzo’s intentions were clear. He wanted me to guard Sofia. I wasn’t sure if the concept made me more terrified or pissed. Walking away from her had been one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do, and now, I was expected to open that wound and possibly go through the whole process again.
What shit had I done in my past lives to deserve this?
It must have been supremely fucked up because this had to be a punishment.
I tried to remind myself that I was being presumptive. The assignment wouldn’t be all that difficult if Sofia and I could be casual friends. We had both grown up since I walked away, and time would have lessened the hurt.
I was so full of shit.
What I’d done to her was unforgivable.
The only explanation for Enzo entertaining this scenario was if he didn’t know. There was no way if she’d told him what I’d done that he’d still want me near his youngest daughter.
Fuck.
My mind raced with panicked thoughts as Enzo continued. “She’s living with us for the next couple of weeks and will be protected under my roof. I want you to use that time to get reacquainted so that when she moves to her new apartment, you have a reason to stay near her. Usually this type of job would be delegated to a soldier, but considering all the circumstances, I think you’re the best fit for the job. It won’t be permanent, just while we get our shit straightened out with the other families and the damn Russians. Once things settle, I’ll assign her a driver who can act as her security. This may not be the normal task of a capo, but it’s more important to me than any other. My family is at risk, and until things settle down, their protection is paramount. I think you, more than any other man, would protect her with your life.” He smiled at me, believing he had given me a great honor, which he had. But he had no idea just how impossible the task was.
Double fuck.
How could I possibly argue my way out of my first assignment as capo? I couldn’t. It was my responsibility to do my job, no matter how unrealistic it might seem. I would have to do my best to protect her from a distance because the chances were slim to none that she was going to welcome me back into her life.
“Carlotta and I will do our part to help bring you back into the picture, and we’ll leave the rest up to you. When you’re not actively working on this assignment in the coming weeks, Gabe will help get you up to speed on handling the books in his territory. Hopefully, with your background at the fights, you’ll have a good understanding already.”
“Absolutely,” I assured him. At least the books were one thing I was confident I could handle. “I’ve worked with Gabe on his records a number of times, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Excellent. I’m proud of you, son. I know this may all seem like a lot to take in at once, but I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think you could do it. You’ve impressed everyone in the organization over the past years with your dedication and loyalty. Keep it up, and I see great things in your future.” He smiled at me warmly, and I forced a grin in response.
“Thank you, Mr. Genovese. I promise, I won’t let you down.” I stood and reached for his hand, giving it a firm shake.
“I have a few things to take care of. Are you good to let yourself out?” If I didn’t know better, I’d have said he had a mischievous gleam in his eye.
“Of course. You have a good evening.” I tipped my head and made for the hallway, glancing left with the intention of turning right toward the front door. But at the sight of light coming from the end of the hall, my feet betrayed me. Rerouting my intended destination, I stepped farther down the hall toward the soft glow. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. It was like my brain had shut down and instinct had taken over. Inside the home where she grew up, I could feel Sofia’s presence everywhere.
I wasn’t ready to leave.
The happiest moments of my life had been spent with her, and a part of me yearned to relive them. To have that piece of my life back.
She had just graduated, and I’d been stunned when I received an invitation to her party. Now that I’d been given my assignment, it made a hell of a lot more sense. Enzo said she would be staying with them. Had she already moved back home? The light shined from the doorway of her old studio. I couldn’t resist the temptation to close the short distance and peek inside the room.
What they say is true—curiosity killed the cat.
Taking those last steps was a monumental mistake, and I knew it the moment I laid eyes on her golden hair piled on her head in a messy bun. I could remember the silky texture of her hair as my fingers threaded through her long waves. I knew the soft warmth of her skin against my lips as if it had only been hours since our last kiss. I coul
d even recall the strange tightness that spread through my chest every time she gazed up at me with an adoring smile on her face.
It wasn’t just a flood of memories. I was suddenly drowning in a deluge of remembered sensations—her floral scent that clung to her hair and clothes, the sound of her squeal when I tickled her, and the way I looked forward to seeing her every day at school. The memories seized my lungs, making my chest burn in protest.
It was a good thing she stood with her back to me, lost in her painting, because I couldn’t look away.
I was still totally and utterly lost for her, and it pissed me the fuck off.
I should have known my feelings would remain just as strong now as they had been back then. Sofia wasn’t the type of girl you forgot. She wasn’t like any other girl, period. It was easy to see in her artwork, if nowhere else. Even as a little girl, Sofia didn’t paint rainbows and flowers. Her canvases portrayed flocks of screeching blackbirds or a small ship doomed in the open waters of a raging sea. In her makeshift studio, dressed in tiny shorts and a top that was falling off one shoulder, Sofia painted on a canvas depicting a pile of three skulls.
It was dark, and morbid, and breathtaking.
A part of me wondered what she would do if I were to make myself known. Would her face contort in anger as she relived the awful things I’d said and done? Would she throw her brushes at me and scream for me to leave? Or would it be even worse? Would she look at me with total indifference? The thought lodged in my throat as I stepped back from the doorway.
Regardless of what her reaction would be, I would find out soon enough.
I wasn’t in a rush for judgment day.
I silently made my retreat to the front door and let myself out. After the day I’d had, I was ready to lose myself in a bottle of scotch until the memories were a blurry haze.
***
The Saddle Bar was a local joint hidden in a basement with hardly a sign to direct new traffic toward its dilapidated entry. The patrons inside were either regulars or folks who had been brought in by a regular. It was where most of the guys I knew hung out, and where I planned to spend the rest of my delightful evening drinking myself stupid.
“Well, look who’s here. Haven’t seen you around in a while. Started to think you found another place to drown your troubles,” called the bartender as soon as I walked in.
“Petey, you know you couldn’t get rid of me that easily,” I shot back as I sat on a stool at the far end of the bar. Pete owned and operated the Saddle Bar and knew just about every man and woman who entered his doors. He helped them get home if needed and conveniently forgot who had been in when questioned by the authorities or angry wives. He had to be pushing seventy, but he was a stand-up guy. He made the place feel like home.
I hadn’t even had a chance to take a sip of my drink when a hand clasped over my shoulder.
“Who do we have here? I’d say it’s someone who just got a promotion. Congratulations, man!” Tony Pellegrini and I had been friends in grade school and were initiated around the same time. His father had been a well-respected capo, and when the man passed away, Tony took his place even though he’d been young for the position. “I figured you might be out celebrating tonight, although your little party of one here isn’t exactly what I envisioned.” He took a seat next to me after giving me a hug and a loud pat on the back.
“Thanks, Tone.”
“Your excitement is overwhelming. Try to calm down.”
“It’s not that.” I glanced around for eavesdroppers. “I got my first assignment tonight, and I have no idea how the fuck I’m supposed to do it,” I explained, speaking softly so that we weren’t overheard.
“Oh, yeah? Is it something you can talk about?”
“I wasn’t told not to. Just found out tonight the boss wants me to guard Sofia. I’m supposed to swoop back into her life, make friends, and protect her without her knowing.”
Tony and Leo were the only two people who had known about the Genovese girls and my past with Sofia. Leo was Alessia’s bodyguard, and Tony had been a capo long enough to know the boss and his family. The two of them were the only people who would understand what a clusterfuck I’d found myself in.
Tony let out a low whistle. “Jesus, you’re up shit creek.” His eyebrows lifted nearly to his hairline. “Better down that drink. You’re gonna need it.”
We clinked our glasses and shot the amber liquid, making my chest burn in just the right way.
Tony motioned to Pete for the next round. “You seen her yet?” he asked, eyeing me warily.
“No.” Sofia and I hadn’t talked, so it wasn’t really a lie. I didn’t think Tony was asking whether I had perved on her from a distance.
“How you gonna get her to let you near her?”
“No idea,” I grumbled, taking a sip of my replenished drink.
“You know, all it would probably take is an apology. Girls love that shit.”
“Don’t think that’ll work with Sofia. She’s more complex than most girls.” I picked up one of the bar coasters and ran my fingers around the curved edges.
“You guys were inseparable all through school. I was there, remember? She’s got to miss you just as much as you miss her.”
My eyes jumped up to his. “What makes you think I miss her?”
“Because I’m not blind. It’s written all over your pathetic face. Don’t think I’ve seen you look so torn up since you broke it off with her. You loved her then, and you love her now. You don’t just forget a love like that.”
“Thanks for the pep talk, dickhead. It’s not that simple.”
“It’s as simple as you want it to be.”
My temples began to pulse as my frustration grew. Tony was a good friend, but right now, I wanted to put my fist through his face.
“Have you considered what would have happened if you’d just told her?” Sensing my agitation, he softened his tone, not wanting to work me up any further.
I let out a long breath of air, like steam from a tension release valve. “Of course, I did. I thought it through back then and have rehashed it countless times through the years.” I couldn’t tell her what I’d done because she never would have looked at me the same. Plus, it would have unveiled her father’s secrets, and that could have gotten me killed. I had to leave her and make certain she didn’t fight to have me back because I wasn’t strong enough to resist.
If she’d pushed for long, I would have laid all my secrets at her feet.
She didn’t deserve the life I led, and I didn’t want to be the man who dragged her down to my level. “It wouldn’t have been a fairy-tale ending, that’s for sure. It went down exactly as it should have, and I’ll do my job, just like I’m supposed to. Our past changes nothing.”
“Well, I know it don’t help, but I think it’s ridiculous they didn’t tell those girls.”
“No, it’s better this way. She can have a life outside the outfit, and there’s no chance the law could ever touch her. I’d rather she was safe than mine.” I downed the rest of my glass, starting to feel the telltale dulling of my senses as the alcohol began to kick in.
Behind us, the room erupted in groans and boos. The televisions in the bar were all set to a football game—the New York Jets were playing, and the quarterback had been intercepted.
“Good, I hate that fucking team,” I muttered under my breath so I didn’t get the shit kicked out of me.
“Hate the man, not the team,” shot back Tony, aware of my dislike of anything associated with my father.
“I can’t. The two feel inseparable.”
“Yeah, some things are like that, I guess.” He gave me a loaded look that I promptly removed from his face with my fist. My response was uncalled for, but damn did it feel good.
Chapter 4
Sofia
Now
For three solid hours, my mother and I shopped for a dress. I’d just about written off our little outing as a total failure when I spotted a long black gown with
a gorgeous plunging back. The dress had been accented by a chunky jeweled necklace hanging low on the back, giving the sexy look just the right amount of sophistication. My breath caught as I took in the display, eyes traveling from the thin spaghetti straps down the fitted gown to the slight flare at the hem. I wasn’t sure I’d ever fallen in love with a dress like I did at that moment.
“Oh honey, it’s perfect.” My mother’s reverent words startled me from my trance.
To humor her, I’d tried on pink tulle, head-to-toe gold sequins, and one dress covered in a beaded peacock feather mosaic. This dress was entirely opposite of everything she’d selected. I was stunned when she didn’t dismiss it with hardly a look.
“I figured you’d think it was too plain,” I stuttered.
“It’s not plain. Its beauty is in its simplicity, and sometimes that makes the greatest statement.” She gazed at me warmly as my brows creased in dismay.
Who is this woman and what did she do with my mother? Did I step into some alternate dimension?
“Alright, you can stop looking at me like I sprouted a second head. I know I had you trying on things you’d never pick, and maybe that was me being a little selfish. All my baby girls are grown up, and I couldn’t help myself. But this one screams your name, so before I get teary, get in there and try it on.”
I fell into my mom’s arms, hugging her in a way I hadn’t done in a long time. All I’d ever wanted for my family was a closeness that was always just out of reach. In these rare moments when I connected with one of them, it filled my heart with joy. If only our exchange had been the standard rather than the exception.
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