Tadeo picked a chair at the center of the table and sat. The screen flashed in front of him, and the wall faded into a familiar scene: a nearly identical comm cubic on the Meso. Except in that cubic, his mother was seated at the table.
Tadeo sat up straight as the connection loaded, but his heart twisted as he took in the sight of his mother. She smiled at him, and he tried to smile back.
He had the same full lips she did, and his own large brown eyes stared back at him. There’d been a running joke on the Meso that his mother had such high standards she’d made him in her own image by herself—without his father’s help—so she could be sure the ship would be well-run after she died. That’s how alike they looked.
But their resemblance had faded. She looked so thin, her high cheekbones sharp, her once tanned skin pasty under the light of the lume bar. And her thick black hair was streaked with gray. Had she looked this old in the messages she’d sent? Why hadn’t he noticed? When she’d begged him to visit, he should have gone… no matter how much he dreaded stepping foot back on the ship where he’d lost Kit.
A tone sounded, verifying that the connection was fully established.
“Tadeo,” his mother said, smiling.
“Mother.”
“It’s so good to see you. Does this mean Nyssa talked to you about coming to visit? She says she’ll let you take a transport over. I really need to talk to you. It’s important. You’re almost 21. I—”
“It’s good to see you, but no. This isn’t about that.”
His mother sat up straight, and her expression turned grim. “What happened?”
Tadeo ran his hand through his hair. Now that he was sitting across from her, he didn’t even know where to start. He couldn’t tell her everything… why had he even commed her?
“I’m conducting an investigation.”
“About…”
“The terrorists. They came from the Meso.”
His mother glanced away from the holo screen, toward some point near the door. She fiddled with her sleeve. “Yes. They did. The president said they were responsible for the hull breach, but… I’m not convinced. You’re lucky you weren’t there when it happened.”
“Those terrorists were responsible.”
“Are you certain?”
“We are. And now I need more information on them.”
His mother took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I already talked to Nyssa about them. What else do you need to know?”
“How did they get clearance to come here?”
“As I told Nyssa, they were clean. None of them had ever caused any trouble here. There was no indication they would do what they did.”
“I need to know what jobs each of them held… What did they do before coming here?”
“What’s going on?” Her eyes filled with concern. “They were airlocked. The threat is gone… Isn’t it?”
“Just answer my question. What jobs did the terrorists have before they came here?”
“If you want me to help you, you’ll tell me.”
Tadeo swallowed. “I can’t tell you. Nyssa’s orders. It’s against the rules.”
His mother leaned forward. “This is one of those times when you have to know when to break the rules. They exist to protect the colonists of this fleet, but sometimes they get in the way. You should understand that… better than anyone. “
Tadeo’s throat thickened, and he held up a hand. “Don’t bring that up. That’s not why I commed you.”
“Isn’t it? Isn’t it why you haven’t visited? Why you won’t come home?” His mother asked, her voice low.
“Don’t talk about it,” Tadeo said, commanding her in the same way he commanded his men.
But she didn’t respond to others’ commands like his men did. His tone didn’t even make her blink. “Maybe we do need to talk about it. Isn’t it the reason you still haven’t found a match? It’s your duty—the one thing you must do before you can lead.”
Her words stung, and Tadeo tensed. “Has it occurred to you that maybe I don’t want to come back because of you? Because of your incessant nagging that I pair—your reminders about what happened?”
She jerked back as if he’d slapped her and averted her eyes to focus on her hands. She let the silence go on for a moment. “You’ve changed,” she said quietly.
“Yes,” Tadeo said, pushing down discomfort at the hurt look on his mother’s face. “I have changed. I don’t break the rules. I follow them. Now will you answer my questions or not?”
His mother peered at him for a long moment, then settled back in her chair. “If you want my help, you have to tell me everything.”
“I can’t.”
His mother got quiet. “Do you trust me, Tadeo?”
“Of course I trust you.”
“You should. Out of everyone on this fleet, I am the one person who will always have your best interests at heart. You know that, don’t you? Even if I’m an unfortunate reminder of what happened to you—”
“What I did.”
“What Kit did to you. She was as responsible as you were—if not more so.”
“Stop!”
“If you trust me, and you should, then tell me so I can help you.” She leaned closer to the holo screen, searching his face. “Are you in danger? You need to tell me exactly what’s going on.”
He stared at his mother, his stomach churning. He never should have come here. This was a mistake.
“Do you know a medic named Nora Faust?”
His mother stiffened at the sudden change of topic and then slowly shook her head. Her brow furrowed in confusion. “No. I’ve never heard that name before. Was she working with them? Please tell me what’s happened. I might be able to help.”
Tadeo let out a breath. His mother was not the enemy, whatever Nora Faust had said about her. And she wasn’t a board member, either. The president hadn’t told him not to tell his mother. She’d only said she didn’t want the board members to know anything. Nyssa had said last night how much she trusted his mother—they were best friends.
Private bridge comm conversations weren’t recorded. He could tell his mother the truth… no one would know.
“Alright,” Tadeo said. “Tatiana, Jonas, and Sam all shared a cubic in singles sector. Today we found an empty canister of Artex explosive powder hidden in the cubic. We have no idea where the powder is.”
His mother sucked in a breath, and she stood. She began pacing back and forth before the screen. “Are you sure it was their cubic you found the explosives in?”
“Yes.”
“I just can’t believe… I still don’t believe they did it.”
“They did. We had all the evidence we needed, and in the end, all three of them confessed.”
His mother stopped to wrap one hand around the chair-back, her knuckles white. She closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she opened them, he saw something new there. Resignation.
“I never meant for any of this to happen, Tadeo.”
Tadeo’s stomach dropped. “What do you mean—you never meant for this to happen?”
“After four years on the Paragon, where do your loyalties lie? Can I trust you?”
“Are you serious?” Tadeo’s voice rose. “My loyalties lie with you. And with the president and the board. I’m loyal to the fleet.”
His mother leaned forward against the chair, her gaze intense. “If I’m going to share information, I need to know I can trust you. What I tell you must not be repeated.”
Tadeo’s heart sped up. “You want me to keep secrets… from Nyssa?”
“She doesn’t know about Kit. No one does. I kept your secret. Now I need you to keep mine.”
“What did you do?” Tadeo asked, drawing out each word.
His mother paused, then began to pace the room again.
“You asked what jobs the… traitors had, and I promise you, none of them had ever been in any trouble here. Sam and Jonas had been on maintenance crews since they became halfs
. Almost every sublevel worker has spent a cycle on Soren, but other than that, they worked in the sublevels, kept the helios working, repaired hydropods. All of that. But Tatiana… I really trusted her. She was technically a sub, but she reported to me.”
Tadeo’s chest tightened. “A sub reported to you? Why?”
His mother paused in her pacing and turned to face him. “Tatiana was my eyes and ears.”
Tadeo sucked in a breath. The implications of her statement lay like scattered seeds across the table before him. “What are you saying?”
His mother took a seat at the table once more, and her hands were steady, her gaze firm. “Every captain has… agents. Colonists they trust more than others. I would have taught you all of this when you came back here.”
“Agents—?”
“You give your agents small favors in exchange for information. They keep an eye on your deka, get a sense if your population is too tightly wound, if the pressure needs to be relieved. You never command alone, Tadeo. Remember that. Quin will succumb to rot if not given a specific blend of nutrients. In the same way, a good leader fails without exactly the right people helping her manage her ship.”
Bile rose in Tadeo’s throat. “Are telling me that Tatiana was your… your spy? Why did you send her here?”
“She was my agent. I sent her there…” His mother gave him a rueful smile and shrugged. “She was supposed to keep an eye on the Paragon and send information back.”
“You were spying on the president?” Tadeo hissed. He glanced toward the door, and sweat broke out on his forehead. “Did Tatiana happen to tell you she planned to try to kill the president and board?”
His mother’s expression hardened. “No.”
“What did she tell you? How did you communicate? They monitor the comms—”
“She got messages out. But they were… innocuous. They can’t be traced to me.”
Tadeo swiped a hand through his hair, and the room seemed to tilt off-center. “Have you told the president any of this?”
“Of course not.”
“Do you understand what this looks like?”
“I know exactly what it looks like. And that’s why you aren’t telling anyone. Do you want us to lose our ship? If the board finds out about my connection to Tatiana, that’s exactly what will happen. Or worse.”
Tadeo rested his head in his hands and stared down at the scratched table, fighting to calm his mind so he could think straight. “Nyssa’s your friend. Your closest friend in the fleet. She always has been. You need to tell her. She won’t—”
“Our friendship won’t matter in this. None of us will hesitate to protect our own interests. You should know that by now. Nyssa protects what’s hers. And I protect what’s mine.”
She didn’t need to say that it was him she’d protected when he’d needed it the most. Tadeo pulled at his hair, fighting nausea.
His mother pressed her lips together. “I guarantee you that every captain in this fleet has agents aboard the Paragon. Nyssa has to know that. She doesn’t share everything with me. And the board doesn’t tell us anything.”
His mother stared at him, her eyes begging him to understand. “They keep us in the dark about their plans for the fleet. And I’m stuck dealing with that asshole board member. Nielsen doesn’t give a kak about the Meso. Captains need a way to get information, and this is how it’s done. It’s just the way this game is played—has always been played.”
Tadeo slammed his fist on the table. “Except that this is not a fucking game. Your… your spy was involved with terrorists. Terrorists who could have killed me. Me and the president and the board. Terrorists who want us all dead and may have planted explosives somewhere on this ship.”
His mother blinked a few times and sniffed. “I do what’s necessary. And so will you. You’ll see. Let’s just focus on fixing our current problem.”
This was bad. So much worse than he ever could have imagined. And he couldn’t tell the president, couldn’t let anyone know—ever—that Tatiana had been his mother’s spy.
“Tell me what jobs Tatiana did for you.” His voice came out strong. Commanding.
She gave a single nod of her head, as if approving of his decision to accept her confession and move past it. But he was far from moving past any of this.
“I put Tatiana on special duties,” his mother said. “She did maintenance work in sensitive areas. Silo sector, transports, command level, power core, medical…” His mother twisted her hands together. “And other duties. Things she did for me as an agent. I have torn this ship apart since the hull breach. I’ve had crews go over every inch of every job Tatiana, Jonas, and Sam did. And I’ve found nothing. Nothing. They were loyal.”
His mother looked like she believed every word. But he didn’t. He’d seen the records, heard Tatiana’s confession. They hadn’t even used drugs on her. She’d caved almost immediately. She was a traitor.
And even though he wanted to believe Nyssa would understand, he knew his mother was right. The president would protect her ship at any cost. He’d learned that with Era and McGill. His mother had just put him in a terrible position. He’d have to lie. Hide the truth. Break the rules.
“Talk to me,” his mother said.
“You know,” he said quietly, his voice gruff. “After the hull breach, they sent every Meso sublevel worker you transferred here down to Soren. They weren’t even there a week when they all died in a cave-in.”
His mother put her hand over her chest and took a deep breath. “I’m not responsible…”
Tadeo stood and leaned across the table toward the screen. “Your game has gotten a lot of people injured and killed. Now tell me—is there anyone else on this ship that the terrorists may have been working with? Any other spies you transferred over here?”
She averted her eyes, waited too long to answer. There was someone here still.
“No,” she finally said.
“I need to go find the explosives.”
“Tadeo—”
He twisted his wrist, and his mother vanished from the screen. Disappointment and anger coursed through him. His memories of her seemed holo now, not real. Maybe she wasn’t what he’d built her up to be.
He clenched his jaw and stormed out of the room and through the bridge, feeling curious stares at his back. The corridors leading to his cubic were nearly empty now, with everyone turning in for the night.
His mother. A traitor. He had to tell Nyssa what he’d discovered, didn’t he?
But… his mother had protected him when he’d needed it most. She’d lied to keep him safe.
By the time Tadeo reached his cubic, he was breathing hard, and a sheen of sweat coated his face. He tore off his guard suit, and as it fell to the floor, he remembered the grimp.
With a shaking hand, he unzipped the pocket of his suit and pulled out the contents—Era’s shift card, taken from Zephyr earlier that day, and the plastic packet of grimp. The blue-green pills beckoned to him, begged him to try just one. He leaned against the wall, staring at them in his hand. They’d erase everything and make this all go away. He could be free of the burden. He wouldn’t care anymore.
He should send it down the lav. But he didn’t. It took everything he had to shove the grimp, and Era’s shift card with it, into the depths of his cabinet. Then he fell into his bunk and shut out the lights. He stared up into the darkness, his heart pumping too fast for sleep. His mother sent a spy, a terrorist, to this ship. Would Nyssa order her execution if he told the truth?
He slept, but nightmares woke him through the night. Nightmares of his mother—stepping into the control room with him, taking over the controls and airlocking Kit and Era both. But then Nyssa would appear, sentencing his mother to the same fate.
Just before night shift curfew ended, he stole into the empty, half-lit corridors to go to the one place that could bring him comfort and help him clear his mind.
∞ ∞
Tadeo’s feet pounded the treadmill. Th
e room was dark, his only source of light the holo screen above the machine. His lungs struggled to take in enough oxygen and screamed for him to stop. Every muscle in his legs burned, half-numb, half-tingling, as if he’d jabbed them with needles from a madaro plant. He grimaced against the pain and punched the button, dialing up the speed. In the ship’s dented wall panels, his distorted reflection moved faster. A line of rivets ran down the center, splitting his body in two.
My mother is a traitor.
Running hadn’t allowed him to escape the truth—it had forced him to admit it.
That was the problem with treadmills. You could never really run anywhere. Not like on the Meso, where he’d run the massive levels filled with huge helios and green growing plants. Not the way he’d be able to run on a new Earth if they found it in his lifetime. There’d be open fields and dirt paths like the damaged footage he’d seen of Earth on the few cubes his family possessed. A better world. That’s what all of this was for, wasn’t it?
He ran faster, sweat dripping down his brow, soaking his workout suit. He had to make a decision. Did he tell Nyssa the truth about his mother and hope she’d forgive them? Or should he lie? This should be a simple, easy answer. He was loyal to the president. He should tell her. But the question continued to gnaw at him, until the buzzer rang out, calling an end to night shift. The lume bars in the ceiling flickered to life in the empty gym.
Tadeo’s heart pounded against his ribcage, ready to burst.
“Raines.”
He misstepped and nearly lost his balance. He jabbed at the interface to shut it down, then hopped off the machine, taking ragged breaths. When he reached for his towel, it was no longer where he’d left it.
Omar stood behind him, already dressed in his navy guard suit. He held out Tadeo’s towel. “Dropped this.”
Tadeo took it and wiped the sweat from his face.
Omar wrinkled his dark brow and peered at the treadmill. Tadeo’s stomach lurched, and he shifted his body between Omar and the machine, so he couldn’t see the time count on the holo interface. No one knew Tadeo had an exemption for the curfew, and he’d rather keep it that way.
Fractured Era: Legacy Code Bundle (Books 1-3) (Fractured Era Series) Page 26
