by Christa Lynn
“See, that’s your problem Ally. You think too much. I watched your face last night when we made love, you weren’t thinking then, you were just feeling. That’s what you’ve been missing in your life. Feeling.”
“Don’t you dare tell me what I have been missing! YOU DON’T KNOW ME! You know nothing about me.”
“I know you’ve been hurt before, Ally. Tell me. Who sucked all the life out of you and drained your self-esteem? Who damaged you?” He asks.
“I don’t owe you any explanations, Jackson. It is what it is and I’ve dealt with it the best way I know how. Now, are we going to talk about the project so I have something to tell Tim? Because if I don’t, all hell will break loose.”
“Ha ha ha, old Tim. Well, he’ll be fine. And he’ll get his update. Here...” He reaches into his briefcase and hands me a document. “Just give him the signed contract. That will be all he needs to know. You and your team will need to be at my office Friday after lunch with your designs. Then work can begin next week. I trust you, Ally. I know your creation will be amazing, just like you.” He says.
Amazing. That’s the second time he’s used that word with me and I still don’t understand it. How can he judge me when he doesn’t know me? He doesn’t know what I’ve been through. What does he see that I don’t? I don’t have time to answer those questions because the limo has pulled up at the office. I look through the dark tinted windows and don’t see anyone from work on the sidewalk.
“I’ll get this contract to Tim and we will see you Friday. Thank you for....this, “I wave the contract in the air “and for the ride.” I quickly exit the car, allowing the driver to close the door behind me. I don’t look back as I enter the double doors to my building and rush to the elevators.
Chapter 12
I swear, this elevator trip to my floor is going too quick. Before I know it, the doors are opening and I am standing in the lobby. I glance at my watch and realize I am actually ten minutes early, so the receptionist isn’t even here yet. Good. Maybe Tim won’t be either.
I make my way through the doors and around to my cubicle, which is thankfully empty. I stow my bag in my desk and grab my coffee cup and K-cup and head to the kitchen. Lack of sleep does not equal normal brain function, so I need caffeine, stat.
I enter the kitchen and there she is, like clockwork. Nosey Sally.
“Damn girl, rough night?” She asks, a little too chipper for me.
“Yeah, couldn’t sleep last night. Didn’t feel real good, so I feel kinda crappy today.” I reply.
“Those suitcases under your eyes need handles, Ally. You know, I have a good cream I use for that........” She continues, or tries to, but I cut her off.
“Thanks, Sal. Gotta run.” And turn to leave.
“Wait! Is everything okay, Ally? The bags under your eyes and your snippy attitude tell me something is going on. Tell me, you can talk to me.” She says. Yeah, right. Sally is the last person I would tell my problems to; unless it’s something I want spread all over the office.
“Nothing is wrong, Sally. Just didn’t sleep well. I’m fine. Excuse me please.”
I hear her huff and puff behind me and I half expect for her to blow the house down, but she says nothing and I continue toward my desk. As I round the corner, I see Tim sitting in the visitor chair in front of my desk.
“Good morning, Tim.” I say as I sit down in front of him.
“Morning. How’d it go last night?” He cuts to the chase.
“Great. Here is the contract, signed sealed and delivered.” I say as I slide the paper across my desk.
“Awesome, good work.” He mumbles as he goes over the contract and confirms the signatures. “Valerie will meet you in the sample room at ten o’clock to select the final pieces. Then we’ll meet in the conference room after lunch. I have to go by CAD and pick up the specs and make sure they are complete and correct.” He stands up. “Nice work, Ally.”
And he’s gone. Whew.He didn’t ask questions, he didn’t pry and didn’t even give me aSomething else is going onlook. He actually let it go.
I head down to see Valerie in the sample room. Shortly after, Tim arrives with the CAD designs and we go to work. We choose warm browns, creams and olive colors with a splash of red. Different materials for draperies, upholstery and pillows to add texture. Dark chocolate carpet and rich cherry floors. Tim then heads down to engineering to have a model created with the furniture and colors that we chose. Now we wait for the final model to take to Jackson on Friday. With only two days left, we work crazy hours to get it completed in time. This is my chance to prove myself and I refuse to fail.
Now, I am back at my desk and finishing up some spread sheets for Tim. It’s quiet in the office so the vibration of my cell in my pocket startles me. I dig in my pocket for my phone and view the text message.
H - So sry for this a.m. Feeling bttr. Call me.
Great, now she wants to talk. Not sure I can handle her right now, so I ignore her for the moment. It’s already six thirty and I am still at the office, though she probably thinks I am home by now. I sigh, if I don’t respond she’ll be banging on my door within moments.
A - Still at wrk. B home l8tr.
I place my phone on my desk and put my nose back into these spread sheets. This is the part of my job that I hate, but it’s a necessary part. My fingers are moving quickly across the keyboard and my mind is numb, so I don’t realize Tim is standing over me.
“Why are you still here, Ally? It’s late. We’ve got everything under control. Go home and get some rest. The model should be ready tomorrow so we can work on staging then. Great job today.” And he taps his fingers on my desk as he turns to walk away. I can tell he wants to say more, but I damn sure don’t want to get into it with him, so I say nothing.
He stops and turns back, pulling out the visitor chair and flopping into it.
“Ally, what’s going on with you and Mr. Bentley?” He asks.
I sit quietly, still looking at my computer acting like I didn’t hear him. Just thinking about Jackson has my knees shaking under my desk and a warm, moist feeling between my legs.
“What do you mean?” I look up at him from my monitor.
“I got here early today and your car was still in the parking garage.”
“I got here early today too.” I lied. Well, no not really cause I did get here a little early. Not having gone through the garage, I didn’t know if he was here when I got here.
“Ally, you were not here when I got here. I checked. You haven’t forgotten my warning have you?” He asks.
“Tim, you asked me to have dinner with Mr. Bentley, then you tell me to stay away from him.I went to dinner with him asYOUrequested in order to “Not screw this up” as you so politely told me the other day. Dinner ran a little long and he took me home instead of bringing me back here. The garage was locked up by that time.” There, that sounded good.
He pondered my answer for a moment, then seemed to believe it. I can tell this is going to be a big problem. No more dates with Mr. Bentley. And especially no sex. Really though? Last night was....ahh, how do I say it? Fabulous? Amazing? No, there really are no words to describe last night.
He made me feel special, desired, loved. Love? No way, that’s a bad word. But could I love him one day? Hard to say. He seems to have an ulterior motive. Don’t all men? Now that he finally got what he wanted, he’ll drift away. Especially once this job is done. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s over. I shake off these crazy feelings and shut down my computer.
I turn off the desk lamp and grab my keys and head toward the elevator. As I am descending down into the bowels of the building, my heart starts beating rapidly and I start to sweat. Will he be here in the garage waiting for me? No, he won’t. I haven’t heard from him all day which is good, but it worries me. I need to shake this paranoia.
The doors open and the garage is empty so I make my way to my car, clicking the fob to open the doors. I open the back door to toss my p
urse in, grabbing my phone and closing the door. The scent of flowers envelopes my nose. Flowers? I don’t have flowers in my car.
I open the driver’s door to get in and there is one single red rose lying on the seat. That’s where the smell is coming from, but where did it come from? I look around the garage to see if anyone is lurking and I don’t see anyone, but I suddenly feel a surge of panic crawling up my spine. I jump into the car, closing the door and locking it. I still see nothing, so I make my way out of the garage and head home.
Since it’s so late, traffic isn’t so bad. I turn up the radio and cruise along, occasionally glancing at the solitary rose now lying on the passenger seat. I can only imagine who it’s from, but how did it get in my car? Did I leave it unlocked yesterday? I glance around the interior and nothing seems missing. My CD’s are still in the center console, a pair of shoes and a sweater in the back seat. The GPS is even still suctioned to the windshield so no, nothing was taken.
My mind then drifts back to last night. Why can’t I get this guy off of my mind? Oh, maybe because of the phenomenal sex? Yeah, that’s it. Never in my life has a man made me feel that way. He took away my defenses and forced me to just feel. He knew I wasn’t comfortable with my body, yet he worshipped and cherished it like it belonged to him.
Mine.
I shake my head. No, no. I don’t belong to him. Yes, he said that last night, but that was just in the heat of the moment, right? Yeah, had to be. I’m not his. I’m not anyone’s. I am a strong, independent woman and I refuse to allow myself to become any more consumed by this man than I already am. He’s got some sort of grip around me and I have to shake it. Fast.
I get to my apartment and drop my bag on the entry table, tossing my keys in a bowl there. I lock the door behind me, latch the deadbolt, and clasp the chain. If I don’t, Heather will come barging in here and I’ll have to relive last night and today. I’ve relived the events of yesterday over and over in my mind and I just can’t come to closure. I didn’t hear from him all day, except that rose. I’m sure it was from him, though maybe it was from.......no, no one else would do that.
But why? I ask myself. He got what he wanted, shouldn’t he just go away now? Did I even want him to? Shaking my head I decide that I need to keep my distance until this job is over. Then he’ll head back to Miami or New York or wherever his life takes him and I can get on with my life.
I take off my work clothes and head to the bathroom. I start the water in the tub and throw in some of my favorite lavender bath beads. I face the mirror to pull my hair up and I see a small red mark on my neck. I lean in a little closer and rub the red mark with my fingers.
“What is that?” I peer a little closer. “A hickey? What are we, twelve years old?” I then realize that this was probably noticeable today. Shit. No wonder Tim was at my desk asking questions. I rub the mark a few more seconds and then get in the tub and turn off the water.
I lean back on to the little sea shell shaped blow up pillow that is suctioned to the tub and tile behind it, and sink down to my neck. I pick up the poof from the hook and dunk it in, drawing the rough sponge over my neck and chest, spreading the warm water and the lavender fragrance up toward my nose. I take a deep breath and close my eyes right about the time I hear my cell phone go off. Being that I am in the tub and soaking wet, I ignore it. It’s probably Heather anyway and she can wait.
After a few more minutes, I hear it again. Damn! Get a grip! But I still ignore it.
Bad move.
A few minutes later there is a pounding on my door. Heather. Has to be, because she is the only one who can get in the complex without a card or calling me, so I get out and dry off quickly while listening to the pounding on my door. Someone’s gonna call the cops if it doesn’t stop.
I wrap my nice large, fluffy towel around me and pad to the door. “All right all right!” I holler through the door. “Hold your horses!” But there is more pounding.
Since no one but Heather would be at the door, I open it without looking through the peep hole or asking who it is.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“Jackson, what are you doing here?” I ask, placing my arms over my chest so the towel doesn’t drop.
He doesn’t say anything. His eyes travel down from my face, lingering on my breasts a second, then continuing down my legs and back up. His eyes darken and he reaches for my towel. I step back, holding onto the thick cotton wrapped tightly around my body.
“Are you going to let me in, Alexandra?” I shake my head frantically. No, I don’t want to let him in, but by the look on his face, he is not taking no for an answer. I step back away from the door, allowing him access, he steps in and I close the door. I stay behind him as he scans the living area, taking in the room before him. “It’s not the penthouse, but its home.”
“It’s nice, Ally. It’s you.” He turns toward me.
“Ummm, I’ll just go get dressed. Excuse me.” I turn to go to my room and he grabs my upper arm, turning me back toward him.
“You didn’t answer your text messages, I got worried.” He says.
“I was in the tub and didn’t have my phone with me, but that’s no reason for you to pound on my door like there’s a fire in the building. You scared me half to death. Now, I’m gonna go get dressed and you can tell me why you’re here.” I pull my arm from his grasp, but he manages to tug on my towel, pulling it completely off of me.
He sucks in a breath and I do my best to cover myself, one arm covers my breasts and one goes to cover “down below.”
He comes closer, removing the arm covering my breasts. “Don’t hide, Ally. Never hide from me.” He says as he moves my arms to my sides.
“Jackson...I really...” And he’s on me. He presses his body against mine and kisses me like a savage. His tongue demanding entrance and I struggle, pushing him back off of me.
“Jackson, no!” I spit at him as he backs up. “We aren’t doing this again. What we did last night was a mistake. I need you to leave.” I say to him. But my body is betraying me, my nipples have hardened and moisture pools between my legs. But I have to be strong, this can’t happen again.
“You may tell me to leave, but your body tells me it wants me to stay, Ally. Your skin is flushed and your nipples are hard.” He sniffs strongly, “And I can smell you. You want me to stay.”
“No, what I want and what needs to happen are totally different. You need to leave.” I say.
“See, you just admitted that you want me, and I want you. More than you realize.”
“No Jackson, you want my body.....not me.” Wait that just didn’t sound right. “No, you don’t....shit, I don’t know what you want, but I know I want you to leave. Right now.” I open the door, but his foot catches it and closes it right back. Tears are pooling in the corners of my eyes.
“Shhhh, don’t cry Alexandra.” He pulls me into his arms. I feel so exposed since I am naked against him.
“Please, at least let me get dressed.” I say and he releases me. I grab my towel off the floor and wrap it around me and run to my room.
I stand looking in the mirror over my dresser. My face is pink and my chest is heaving. Tears stream down my face, leaving tracks through what is left of today’s makeup. My mascara is smeared under my eyes and I look a mess. I take the towel off my body and wipe my face with it, but that just makes things worse.
I grab an oversized tee shirt and a pair of shorts and head to the bathroom, where I wash my face and brush my teeth. Not sure why I brush my teeth as I haven’t even had dinner yet, but I do. Maybe to kill time, I don’t know. I don’t hear anything in the living room, so I wonder if he left. I hope he did because I really don’t want to deal with this right now. I pick up my phone from the dresser and there are actually four messages from Unknown Number. I really need to get his number and put it in my phone. Then I shake my head, no I don’t. What I want is for him to leave me alone.
I place my hand on the doorknob and take a deep breath. As I wal
k down the hall, I see his suit jacket on the back of the chair. Shit, he’s still here. As I enter the room, I see him on the sofa, flicking through a magazine. Southern Living or something like that, I assume.
I clear my throat and he drops the magazine on the table, patting the area next to him motioning me to sit down next to him. I hesitate, but go ahead and sit down.
“I have to go to New York for a while, but I wanted to see you before I left.” He tells me with softness in his eyes. “Something......something has come up that I have to go back for.” He seems like he is not telling me everything, but I don’t ask as it’s none of my business. “I may be gone for a few weeks, a month at most. You will be dealing with my assistant, Stephanie on the remodel. I’ll have her call you next week to reschedule, so you have a few extra days to get your plans drawn out.” He tells me as I nod.
He reaches out and strokes my cheek gently, landing on my mouth where he brushes his thumb along my lips. “I don’t want to go, not like this. But I have to. I....” He drifts off.
There is such sadness in his eyes. Something I’ve never seen before.
He leans in and brushes his lips against mine, softly at first, then more urgently. His tongue enters my mouth and begins a desperate dance against my own. I pull back, looking into his eyes. “I can’t do this again, Jackson. Go. Go to New York and do what you need to do. Maybe this time away will be good.....” I stand and move toward the door, grabbing his jacket off the chair.
He stands and follows me. But when he gets to me, he doesn’t go for the door. He grabs me and picks me up, my legs automatically wrap around his waist and his jacket falling to the floor. He digs his fingers in my ass and pushes my back up against the wall while plundering my mouth with his tongue. My ankles are crossed behind him and his cock is grinding up against me.
