So I've grown up always being told just how genetically blessed I am, because I supposedly received the best of the two of them. I've also been really careful not to believe any of that except for today.
Today I believe every word.
Today, for a moment, I feel like an actual American princess.
And it only took a very pregnant Elizabeth to practically threaten me with bodily harm to get me here.
"That dress looks amazeballs on you, Sloan. You look like a Grecian Goddess. That's the one. That's the dress you should walk down the aisle in!" she exclaims as she rubs her swollen pregnant stomach like it's a crystal ball.
I'm standing on an elevated platform in front of a set of mirrors, doing a pirouette in a wedding dress made of a gauze-like Italian silk. The fourth dress Elizabeth has bullied me into trying on over the last thirty minutes.
I'm not supposed to be here today. In fact I'm supposed to be shopping for a completely different dress. Preferable a short, eggplant-colored one for the "surprise party" that Elizabeth is throwing Cutter and me tonight– but of course I'm not supposed to know anything about that.
"It is kind of pretty isn't it," I say quietly.
"It's not just pretty. It's stunning. I mean you'd look good in a paper bag, but this is different. It looks even better on you because of how you feel in it. I can tell that you love yourself in it."
I spin around once more for good measure. I really do like the dress, but I'm nervous about committing to it for a lot of reasons I can't explain or understand.
"It's definitely pretty, but I'm not going to buy the first dress I try on."
"This isn't the first one you tried on."
"No, but this is the first bridal shop I've been to."
"Have you two set a date yet?"
"No, Bitsy. Sheesh. I just got engaged."
"I thought Cutter didn't want to wait."
"This isn't just Cutter's decision."
"Uh-huh." Elizabeth sounds unconvinced. "So you don't want the dress."
"I have to shop around. Maybe we could even see a few in Paris after the baby is born."
Elizabeth's eyes enlarge.
"Wedding dress shopping in Paris? After the baby's born?! I didn't realize you were planning on such a long engagement."
"You're so big, you could probably drop that baby right in this dressing room. We actually won't have to wait that long."
Elizabeth shakes her head as if she's annoyed with me.
"What?” I say. “I just don't want to make any hasty decisions. This is hopefully a once in a lifetime moment, so I want to pick the perfect dress."
"That dress is perfection."
"I'm going to keep looking."
"Don't tell me you're going to be one of those brides, because I'm way too pregnant to put up with any of your perfection seeking, alpha girl tendencies."
Elizabeth winces as she shifts her swollen body in the sitting room chair.
"You better not be having contractions," I fuss.
I quickly step down off of the platform and prop her swollen ankles up on a spare chair in our private changing room.
"I'm not having contractions, crazy girl. I'm just uncomfortable."
"Your feet look like little flotation devices. If this is what pregnancy looks like, I'm not in any rush to have any little Kings."
"Thanks a lot."
Sometimes I speak without thinking.
I've got to work on that.
"You're beautiful though. There's definitely some truth to the whole pregnancy glow theory."
She smiles at my effort to clean up my faux pas.
"That's what Roman says all the time. I don't see it." She shifts in her seat again and smiles. "I can't wait for this little love bug to come out. We're ready to meet him or her."
Elizabeth is pregnant with her first child and my first godchild. I proudly designed the baby's nursery, and now it's just a matter of time before he or she arrives. She will be the first mother in our small but tight circle of friends.
I am genuinely happy for her, but I think she may be forcing this bridal shop visit and the surprise party tonight, because she wants to pack all the things on her checklist in that she can before the baby comes. She has to know that once baby Masterson is born that Roman will put her on lockdown. She probably won't see the light of day until the baby is damn near one year's old if he has it his way.
"Does the dark knight (my nickname for Roman) know that you're out gallivanting around bridal shops with me today? You probably should be home resting."
"Putting my feet up at home is the same as placing them up in here. Plus you and I both know that if I didn't get the ball rolling, you wouldn't have ever started dress shopping."
"There's no rush."
"What's the wait?"
"I'm engaged aren't I?"
"An engagement is a precursor to a wedding for most couples."
"You're one to talk. Someone in this room seems to be doing things a little out of order and it ain't me."
"Really, Sloan? You sound so antiquated. Just like my mother and Aunt Juliette."
"Well they weren't totally off base. You're like a hundred weeks pregnant, living in sin, and not even close to being married either."
"I'm not going to marry the man of my dreams, while I'm nine months pregnant, just because it will make my mom and dad look like good parents in the eyes of their friends."
"You could have married Roman when you first found out you were pregnant. It's not like he would have complained."
"I'm not rushing my wedding for any frackin' body!"
"Ohhhh, is that right? Now I guess you understand what I'm saying. There's no freaking rush."
"Ugh, you're so annoying. Stop trying to get me all riled up to prove some sort of ridiculous point. You're upsetting my baby."
"No, you're upsetting our baby by talking so badly to it's Godmother."
Elizabeth rolls her eyes in annoyance. I can't help but crack a smile. I take pride in the fact that no one can annoy my bestie better than I can.
"Maybe Tiny is up for the position then."
"You better not, Elizabeth Hill. I called Godmom dibs on that baby before you even met Tiny. Your first baby was always supposed to be my Godchild. There's no going back on that promise."
The matronly bridal assistant, who refers to herself as Miss Alberta, enters the room. She's an older woman with thick upper arms and thighs, and who dyes her gray hair entirely too jet black for her age, but she's as sweet as pie and reminds me of one of my favorite aunt's on my father's side of the family.
"How are we doing in here ladies?"
"Perfect," Elizabeth replies while at the same time I say, "Not so good."
"Oh no?" She looks back and forth between us with genuine concern. "How can I help?"
"There are so many beautiful dresses in here that I just can't make any sort of final decision right now," I say.
That's my subtle way of letting her know that I'm not buying anything today, and that she should probably move on to another actual paying bride in the showroom area.
"Aah, that's a common problem. When's the wedding?"
"Soon," Elizabeth interjects while at the same time I say, "The date is undecided."
Elizabeth turns up one side of her mouth and returns to rubbing her belly. Miss Alberta looks at both of us curiously but continues on with her questions.
"So tell me, the last time you envisioned your wedding day, what kind of dress did you see yourself in?"
She's not going to let me off easy.
"I've never had an exact vision per say of my wedding day. I mean is that a thing? Do women have visions?"
I can feel Elizabeth's judgmental stare searing the side of my face.
"Are you newly engaged?" Miss Alberta asks.
"Yes." I politely smile. "It hasn't been that long."
"Are you feeling a few jitters?"
"Umm, not really."
Elizabeth purses her lips in a
tight smile. As if she's dying to call me a big fat liar but has decided wisely against it.
"Well, no matter. I can already tell what type of bride you are. Modern but understated. Nothing too obvious, too glamorous, too sexy or too pouffy. You need elegant, sleek, classic. A dress that skims the body."
"Which is exactly the type of dress that she has on right now," Elizabeth chimes in. "A classic. Like Meghan Markle's."
"Try this."
I'm not exactly sure where she whipped it out from, but Miss Alberta places a short and delicate wedding veil on top of my head. The length just meets the tip of my chin.
"It's perfect with this dress isn't it?"
I take another look at myself in the mirror and see only part of what the two of them both see. A beautiful dress. Me in a beautiful dress. Yet something in my gut is telling me not yet. To wait.
Sometimes you know something is coming. Something powerful. Something completely out of your control. You can feel it in the air. And you know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
It's this very feeling that has been gnawing at my gut recently. I'm not sure when it started. I just woke up one day with an uneasy feeling on my heart. I've been ignoring it for days now, actually weeks, but it's getting much more difficult to do.
Elizabeth asks Miss Alberta in the most polite way to give us a few moments alone. As soon as she exits the room, the questions begin.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I start maneuvering myself out of the dress and veil.
"Are you and Cutter ok?"
"We're better than ok."
"Then what is it? You're acting like a very reluctant bride and you're making me nervous."
The dress pools at my feet.
"Relax. Everything's fine."
"Good grief your boobs are perfect. You sure you never had them done?"
I ignore that thinly veiled compliment and consider the original question. What is up with me?
"I think...I think that I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop."
"What do you mean?"
"I have this great guy. This new career. My best friends are happy in their relationships and there's a new baby on the way. I'm just not used to everything being this good. I've told you how I grew up. I never wanted for material things, but there was lots of instability in my home. If it wasn't one thing, it was another living in the Pearson house. In fact the one thing I've learned is that nothing stays this good forever."
"I've known you for years and I had no idea that you were this pessimistic, Sloan."
I step out of the dress and hold it up against my body with my hands. It smells new and the fabric feels expensive and cool against my skin. It would be a great dress for a summer wedding.
“Neither did I."
A wedding that for some reason I just can't seem to picture.
My phone dings.
My sister Dawn has forwarded me a link to a news article with a message from her that simply reads...
Call Me.
CAMDEN
"This party blows."
I laugh at my sweet little assistant. My lover. My best friend. She's been in a hell of a mood these last few days, and partying tonight with our friends and family was one of the last things she felt like doing– even if it is for Cutter (whom she adores).
I'm not sure what's going on with her but she's in a shitty way. If she wasn't on the pill, I would swear that Jade was pregnant with my child, or maybe that's just wishful thinking.
"You're just in a bad mood."
She leans in and tries lowering her voice. Something she actually should have done ten seconds ago. I'm sure a couple of Sloan's former co-workers just heard Jade complain about being at her own boss's engagement party. Not a good look.
"Are you paying attention?" she asks me rhetorically. "Look at Elizabeth. Look at Sloan. They're smiling with their mouths, but their eyes are saying something completely different. And look at Cutter. He's smiling and laughing so much that it's obvious he's hiding something."
"You're overstating things as usual, Nancy Drew. Elizabeth is damn near ten months pregnant and is about to pop any second, so of course she's miserable; and the glamazon ... well that's just her resting bitch face; and my brother is being who he is… class clown…life of the party."
"It's probably a very good thing you have me in your life, because you don't understand women at all. There's something else going on. Maybe you're right about Cutter, but those two are just going through the motions."
I've had two Jack and Coke highballs already, so maybe I'm a little off my game, but I don't see what Jade thinks she sees. What I do know is that if there's any inkling of truth to it, that liquor will solve all of that shit. Well at least for everyone except Elizabeth. She'll have to settle for something non-alcoholic and maybe an order of our famous wings.
"Marco is lining up lemon drop and kamikaze shots on the bar top," I announce. "Grab one or two please. Elizabeth, there's a shot of orange juice up there for you."
Cutter grabs the shot of OJ to give to Elizabeth.
"Aww, damn. Orange juice? I thought I read somewhere that pregnant women in Europe get to drink red wine if they want.“
Roman snatches the shot glass out of my brother's hand.
"We're not in fucking Europe," he grumbles as he hands Elizabeth the shot of OJ and kisses her on the neck.
I grab Jade by the waist, pulling her into my side, and hand her a lemon drop.
"Here you go, itty bitty."
She holds her palm up to stop me.
"I think I ate something rancid for lunch. I better pass."
I don't like how there's something not quite right with my girl. I'm going to drag her ass in for a physical at somebody's doctor's office this week. No excuses this time.
"You want a glass of ginger ale to settle your stomach?"
"Yeah, I'll try that."
"Okay, and if that doesn't make you feel any better we can make our apologies and leave. Cutter will understand if you're not feeling well."
"You fuss too much, grandma. I'll be fine. Go give your brother the toast he deserves. This night is about those two love birds. Not me."
Damn, I love this woman.
Always such a trooper.
I rap on the bar top with my knuckles to gain everyone's attention.
"I'd like everyone to raise their shot glasses to my little brother and the woman of his dreams, the glamazon."
Jade elbows me in the waist and gives me a stern look. She warned me all day about calling Sloan anything other than her "government name".
"I mean Sloan."
Everyone laughs at my correction. Everyone but Sloan. Maybe she actually is pissed that I call her that. I never gave a shit about it before, but I suppose I need to change my ways since she is about to become family.
"Congratulations on your engagement Sloan and Cutter, and may the two of you drive each other completely insane like the rest of us do to each other."
I turn my eyes towards Jade.
The crowd laughs again.
Then Jade jabs me in the side once more and comments under her breath. "This isn't an episode of Saturday Night Light Live. Leave the jokes to the professionals."
"I was about to get to the serious part," I say in her ear. Inconspicuously nibbling her lobe for good measure.
I turn back to my audience.
"But seriously though... Cutter has waited a long time for you, Sloan. He knew you were special the moment he first spotted you when we were barely teenagers sneaking into the stadium to watch your dad play, and it looks like he got it right. You make my brother happier than I've ever seen him, and I wish you both nothing but the best in the future. Welcome to the family. Kings love hard, and Kings love long. Cheers!"
"Cheers!!" The room says in unison.
When the music cuts back on I turn to Jade.
"Did that meet your impossible standards of a good toast?"
"It took you a co
uple of tries but you did good, King. Cut looks happy."
"I didn't just do good, I rocked that shit."
"Whatever you need to believe."
I almost laugh at Jade's last snarky comment, when I notice that her eyes look a little dull to me, and that she hasn't taken a sip of her ginger ale the entire time that we've been standing here. She's just holding it in her hand.
"Did you have some?" I ask referring to the soda.
"I did."
"It doesn't look like it."
"I took a sip not a gulp."
"You want to leave?"
"No, Camden. I swear to you I'm fine. Just tired."
"You're not fucking fine."
"I'm not at a hundred percent, but I'm good enough to ride out this party."
"Hey, lima bean," Cutter interrupts and gives Jade a hug. "You're looking a little green around the gills. You had a rough night last night? Was Marco making you taste test one of his new drink concoctions again?"
"You two Kings are going to give me a complex. Do I look that bad? I'm fine, alright!"
Cutter leans his head back in an exaggerated way as if she just smacked him.
"Well, damn, you little stinky lima bean, I was just asking. Did my brother do something to piss you off? If he did, I'll shoot him in the pinky toe for you."
She almost laughs at that one.
"Congratulations on the engagement."
"I think you almost mean that."
"I do mean it,” Jade offers. "I'm happy for you both."
"So then how about a double wedding for the King brothers. That shit would be awesome! Top shelf open bar. Seafood and steak sit down dinner. Get a couple of live acts for the entertainment. It will be the event of the summer. Everyone will want to be there!"
Waves of excitement and joy roll off of my brother in a very disingenuous way. Jade was right. He's way too hyped. There's something wrong but whatever it is, he doesn't want it to spoil the party.
It's hard for me not to ask him what it is and try and fix it for him. It's what I've done our entire lives. He's my little brother. I've always had his back. But he's starting a new life with the glamazon, and I'm going to have to respect that they will have their own problems and secrets that I won't be privy to unless Cutter chooses to share. Right now he isn't.
Promised to a King Page 3
