by Lynda Aicher
“Ha!” Cali laughed. “How long have you lived in Minnesota?”
“Yeah, I know. We can all dream, right?”
Kendra pulled the slider open to a cold gust of wind that had the evergreen bushes swaying in resistance. “Damn, the temperature’s really dropped.” The sky lit up in an odd glow, making the clouds look like dark puffs of cotton. Another low rumble echoed through the sky, and Allie pushed on Kendra’s back to get her to move.
“Kendra, call us if you need anything, okay?” Allie turned back to Cali. “Thanks for the coffee. Next Saturday good for both of you?”
“Should be,” Cali said. “I’ll let you know if something changes.”
“Me too,” Kendra said. “And thanks again.” She waved goodbye and took off across the dead lawn to get to her condo. The wind had really picked up in the last couple of hours and she hunched her shoulders, wrapping her arms around her middle against the bite of the cold. Her tennis shoes squished in the grass made soggy by melting snow and lack of sun as she made a beeline across the courtyard to her condo.
She peered through her glass on the sliding door, checking the interior for any signs that someone may have entered. Everything looked normal, but then, that didn’t really mean anything. The addition of the external locking feature on the door had been one of the things she’d installed after renting the unit.
She gave one last quick look at the gathering storm before slipping inside. Securing the door behind her, she dropped the broom handle back in the track then sagged into the over-stuffed chair, suddenly exhausted. Her head flopped against the back cushion and she closed her eyes, processing all that she’d revealed to her friends.
It felt good to talk about it, even better that they were still her friends. It was nice here. Nicer than she’d expected when she’d rented the condo online from a library computer. Staying here would be good. Her fresh start away from Chicago was turning out to be okay. Maybe there was a chance for new beginnings after all.
Chapter Sixteen
He pumped his cock, swift, firm strokes with his hand meant to find release fast. The water beat hard and hot on his back, and Deklan braced his free hand on the slick wall of the shower, angling forward for more leverage. He fucking needed to come.
Two more hard jerks with a twist right on the tip and he achieved his goal. His come splattered over the wall in time with his rough groan, visions of Kendra splayed and begging flashed front and center in his mind. Chest heaving, he leaned his forehead on his wrist and caught his breath for a second before resuming his shower.
Holy mother of God, he needed that.
The rest of the cleaning process was completed briskly. The addition of the daily hand-jobs added minutes to the whole routine that Deklan didn’t exactly like but saw as necessary.
He was going out of his fucking mind not fucking Kendra. And these daily shower jobs were his only hope of maintaining his sanity.
The woman was killing his control. Over the last two months, each Scene had become a test of his will and determination to keep his dick in his pants. She’d opened up and started to really let go. Giving him her trust and taking every sadistic thing he did to her. The last three Scenes had left him with a raging case of blue balls worse than when he’d been a teenager dry-humping Susie Bowman in the back of her dad’s Chevy.
It didn’t help that Kendra had offered more than once to relieve him—something he’d had to grit his teeth to decline. He wouldn’t act on those urges until the contract terms were changed. Deklan would respect the rules she’d laid out in advance, respect her. That was his job. The fact that the contract only stated no intercourse didn’t matter to him. Technically, blowjobs or hand jobs weren’t off-limits. But it didn’t feel right. He didn’t want the rest of the club to watch. Doing that with her was private.
He’d admitted a while ago that this contract was more than a job. It had been since the beginning. That made it even more important that he restrain himself until she consented outside of a Scene. When—if—they became truly sexual it would be because she wanted it, not because she felt like she should or he ordered it.
That’s what he really wanted. He wanted all of her given freely. Just for him. And fuck if he knew when that was going to happen.
Cursing, Deklan jerked the towel from the rack, scrubbing it over his skin in hard, abrasive swipes. He wrapped the damp towel around his waist before pulling out his shaving supplies and setting to work on scraping the day-old scruff from his face. He had to be at The Den later and for the first time since the club opened, the Scenes he had scheduled that night with other clients truly seemed like a job. One he didn’t want to do.
The trump card in all of his frustration was his complete disinterest in relieving himself with any of his other clients. He only wanted Kendra, and she was testing his hard-fought control like candy before a child. Not on purpose, but that irritated him as much as the perma-boner.
The knock at his door came as he was wiping the last of the shaving cream from his face. He grumbled at his reflection then glanced at the clock in his bedroom as he yanked on some shorts. He wasn’t expecting company. And he sure as hell didn’t need any Girl Scout cookies.
Stomping down the stairs, he jerked the door open to a blast of cold air and a grinning Jake. “What do you want?”
“Hey, great to see you too,” Jake replied, his voice dripping in heavy sarcasm, unfazed by Deklan’s abruptness.
Deklan turned and strode back into his condo, the door left wide open for the freezing air to draft in. Maybe he’d be fortunate and Jake would decide his visit wasn’t needed. The click of the door closing followed by the scuff of boots on the rug told Deklan he wouldn’t get that lucky today.
“So what’s eating you?”
The problem was who wasn’t eating him. Cursing at his crude thought, Deklan went to his bedroom, slipped on a sweatshirt and took a deep breath. Then another. Venting his frustrations on Jake wouldn’t solve his problems.
Problems he created.
Forcing out a long, slow exhale, Deklan returned to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. He held one up to Jake. “Want one?”
Jake took the bottle, opened it and chased it with a long drink. Releasing a pleased sigh, he started opening cupboards until he found a bag of chips and grabbed them with the comfortable ease that came with being family. He turned to Deklan. “You watching the Glaciers’ game?”
Deklan grunted and moved to open the doors on the entertainment center as his answer. The hockey game would be in the first period and would hopefully keep Jake occupied. Deklan was in no mood to talk that afternoon.
“Cool,” Jake said as he plopped down on the black leather sofa and reached down to release the foot rest before relaxing back with a contented sigh. Copying his friend, Deklan settled into the other end of the couch and flicked through the channels until he found the game.
Jake tipped his beer in Deklan’s direction. “Thanks for letting me crash here for a bit. I forgot Cali did coffee with her neighbors at this time and since I was already over here, I didn’t feel like driving back home.” He flashed a grin, something he did a lot more now that Cali was in his life. “Besides, I thought you might be missing me.”
“Yeah, right.” Deklan took a drink of his beer. “It’s just damn convenient that I live in the same complex as your girlfriend.”
“Can’t deny that.” Jake held up the chip bag in a silent offer, which Deklan declined. “Did you hear about Hauke being traded from Carolina?”
“Winger, right? Last-minute deal before the midseason deadline.”
“Yeah.”
“What’d the Glaciers give up?”
“Not much. A defensiveman and two draft picks.”
“That’s it?” Deklan shot a doubting look at Jake. “I thought Hauke was an up-and-coming hotshot. The kid tank under the pressure or something?”
Jake frowned. “Not that I heard.”
They focused on the game for a whil
e, the room filled with the sounds of cheering fans and sports announcers. In truth, Deklan couldn’t care less about what they watched just as long as Jake stayed quiet.
“Have you talked to Seth lately?” Jake asked after the Glaciers scored a goal, taking them into the lead by one.
“No,” Deklan grumbled, glancing at the other man. “Why? Something wrong?” Had his preoccupation with Kendra made him miss something with Seth?
“Don’t know.” Jake scowled and gave a shrug. “He’s been buried behind his desk a lot.”
Deklan had noticed that too. “He telling you anything he’s not telling me?” All three men put in a lot of hours to keep the club in its top slot, but Seth’s seemed excessive even by their standards. Deklan made a mental note to check in with Seth when he went in that night.
Jake shook his head. “Nope. Nothing outside of the normal business updates.”
“Speaking of business, how’s the equipment thing going?” At the beginning of the year, Jake started a side revenue stream building custom BDSM equipment. He was a pro with that shit and it gave him more time to spend with Cali while still supporting the club.
“Good,” Jake said. The smile that filled his face was open and content. After all the years of personal anguish, Jake had finally found some peace. “I haven’t even branched outside of The Den’s membership list and I can’t keep up with the orders.”
“I thought as much. Your shit’s good, Jake.”
The other man only grunted at the compliment before rising and heading to the kitchen, automatically bringing back a beer for Deklan too. The buzzer when off and they looked to the game; the Glaciers still led by one in the second period. It was a close game, but he couldn’t stay focused on it. His damn mind kept straying back to Kendra. Pathetic, really.
“Is your wrist sore yet?”
Deklan snapped around at the strange question. “What the fuck?” He glared at Jake, not liking where the question was leading.
Jake shrugged, his eyes on the TV screen, but his attention clearly wasn’t. His false indifference was unsuccessful. “You haven’t screwed a sub in almost two months.”
“How the hell would you know that?”
Again with the shrug. Deklan was tempted to reach over and punch the shit out of that damn shoulder.
Jake finally turned his head to level him with a calculating look. “You’re not the only one who’s observant.”
“Whatever.” Deklan scowled and looked back to the game, intending to ignore Jake’s unwanted probing. It was none of the man’s business anyway. Jake’s low chuckle was more annoying than the damn shrug. Deklan ground his teeth then forced his jaw to relax before he took a swallow of the tasteless beer.
“She’s getting to you, huh?”
Not answering, he stared at the game in stony silence. If Jake was smart, he’d take the hint.
“Take my advice, don’t fight it,” Jake offered. Apparently, he wasn’t smart.
“Who said I was fighting it?”
“Right,” Jake agreed, the mockery rolling off the single word. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
Deklan’s scowl deepened, his muscles zapping the back of his head with the spike of pain. “What are you getting at?”
“Look at you, man. You’re the one who always charges into confrontation. Never backing down, taking on every challenge, trying over and over to prove that you can protect everyone around. Twenty years later and you’re still making amends for your past.”
His jaw clenched against the truth in Jake’s words. It wasn’t that he had to prove he could protect everyone because he knew he couldn’t. But fuck, why was it so bad to want to protect those he cared about? He let his glare communicate his thoughts before he looked away. “And you’re one to talk.”
Jake jerked his chin around, imitating a punch to his face, then rubbed at the phantom punch. He tipped his beer toward Deklan in acknowledgement of the hit. “At least I got over my issue before I lost what was really important.”
A half-smile of satisfaction curled over Deklan’s lips. “I don’t plan on losing anything.”
“Ahhh,” Jake said, as if the world’s answers had just been revealed. “And that’s the problem. You of all people know you can’t win everything, just like you can’t save them all.”
Fuck all. Deklan’s fist clenched around his now-warm beer bottle, but he loosened his jaw enough to grit out, “Been talking to Seth?”
“Seriously? I only need to look at your leg to know that much.”
Automatically Deklan’s hand reached to rub the back of his leg, his fingers stroking over the unseen names. His chest tightened and he swallowed back the angry retort as he battled against the rise of emotion that wanted to suck him under. “Fuck you, Jake.” The small vent of venom was delivered between clenched teeth.
“What? You can throw my fucking past in my face, but you can’t take it yourself?”
Deklan slammed his bottle down on the side table and thrust to his feet to keep from pummeling the younger man. He paced to the windows to stare at the empty courtyard. Small piles of snow still huddled in clumps under the shrubs and along the corners of the buildings where the sun couldn’t find it. After four months of being compressed under the snow, the grass was matted, yellow and soggy-looking.
Every face that was memorialized on the back of his leg flashed across his mind in a parade of failure. A cheer went up from the TV, the crowd celebrating a point scored. In a fractured corner of his brain it felt as if they were applauding his mistakes. Go, Deklan. Look at all the people you let down.
A low rumble of muffled thunder rolled through the sky, and Deklan’s eyes jerked up in search of the source, thankful for the distraction. A dark bank of clouds tumbled across the sky, rolling over the dense layer of white clouds and chasing away any hope of sun for the day. Spring thunderstorms were expected in the Midwest, but this one held an odd edge to it. The sky suddenly brightened again as if someone had turned on a light switch in the clouds, followed by another clap of thunder about ten seconds later.
He glanced at the outside thermometer. The temperature hovered around the freezing mark, explaining the strangeness of the thunder. It’d been a weird spring weather-wise, with the temperatures going up and down in a pattern that was more extreme than normal.
“Looks like snow,” he said to Jake.
The other man released a long groan. “I’m so done with snow.”
Deklan chuckled, agreeing. “I hope Seth has the plowing contracts extended through April. By the looks of it, we’re going to need them.”
“Knowing Seth, he has them setup for year-round service.” Jake laughed. “Boy Scout code—always be prepared.”
Deklan looked at Jake, his chest constricting. The man might irritate the shit out of him sometimes, but fuck if he wasn’t family.
“Some things never change, huh?” Jake said, shaking his head. “Damn. Remember that summer you and I were sleeping under that bridge and he showed up with a tent, sleeping bags, cooking stove, the works?”
Yeah, Deklan did. “Never did understand why he stuck with the two of us.”
“Me either. Damn Boy Scout loyalty or something. He sure as shit could have done better than hanging with us.”
“Still could.”
“Ain’t that the fucking truth.”
The wind beat against the window in a sudden gust of force that shook the glass. Deklan looked back to the courtyard, his focus honing in on movement across the way. He went still as Cali’s back door slid open and Kendra stepped out, followed by Allie.
“Coffee’s done,” he said to Jake, his eyes glued on Kendra.
The wind whipped the ends of her ponytail across the side of her face and she hunched her shoulders as she hurried over the grass to her condo. She was in the second unit from the end, flanked by Edith Jennings and the engaged couple, Lacey and Paul. Given his lack of socializing, it would probably surprise most that he knew the names of everyone in their building.
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“Cool.”
He heard Jake slam the footrest down and then move toward the kitchen, empty chip bag crinkling as he threw it in the trash. Outside, Kendra looked through her slider window before digging her key out and opening her door. Deklan had been impressed that she’d been smart enough to add a lock on that door. They weren’t standard, and most people didn’t seem to care that they were as easy as shit to break into.
Case in point, Allie pulled hers open and walked in. She’d obviously left it unlocked during their entire coffee time. Careless. It didn’t matter how safe the area might be; there were assholes everywhere.
“I’m out of here,” Jake said. “Thanks for the beer.”
Deklan turned away from the window once he saw a light flick on in Kendra’s condo. Jake was slipping his coat back on and moving to the door. “Cali coming to the club tonight?”
“It’s Saturday,” Jake said with a devious smile. “Of course she’ll be there.” His gaze skidded past Deklan to look out the window. “As long as the snow doesn’t stop us.”
Sure enough, the white stuff had started to fall from the clouds, just like they’d threatened. “If it gets bad, don’t bother,” Deklan told him. “Seth and I can handle it. The club will be dead anyway.”
“I’ll call you later.” Jake let himself out, leaving Deklan with a blast of cold air that drifted down the hallway and the sound of the hockey game.
He stared at the falling snow, the heavy flakes blurring his thoughts. In a matter of minutes, the snow intensified until the outside was a haze of white. Instincts and years of living in the north told Deklan the storm was going to be a bad one.
Great. If they were lucky, it would fuck up the roads before the club got busy. There was nothing like trying to clear out the club when the roads sucked. Maybe he could actually convince Seth to keep it closed for the night. They’d take a revenue hit, but it might be worth it.
Whatever. He still needed to get dressed and head on over. Glancing at the clock, he headed upstairs to change. Staying busy was way better than stewing on his screwed—up situation. Even if he didn’t want to perform, he had a job to do.
