“It’s good to hear you laughing,” Faith said as she joined Dianne.
Dianne met Faith’s joyful expression. “It’s the first time I’ve felt like laughing since …” Dianne’s voice broke. She fell silent and looked away. “Sorry.”
“Dianne, I know your heart is nearly cut in two, but you have to have hope and courage. You have to go on living in spite of what happened.”
“I know, but I just can’t figure out why such a thing happened. Did Ardith’s fall into the river take God by surprise?” She looked to Faith, hoping—almost praying—the older woman would have the answer.
“Why do you ask that? God is never taken by surprise.”
“Then He must not have cared.”
Faith reached out and took hold of Dianne. It was a bold move, for people of color were not to ever touch a white person without their expressed permission.
“Child, do you honestly think God has forgotten you?”
“I don’t know how else to see it. I mean, how hard would it have been to save one little girl from drowning?”
“Not hard at all. At least not for God. So that’s why you think God must have been sleeping or looking the other way. God didn’t save your sister from the river, so you figure He doesn’t care about you and your family. Is that it?”
Dianne knew it sounded silly, but she couldn’t help it. “I know God has much more important things to do than to worry over us. There’s the war and all that’s happening back East. It’s much more important.”
“Why would you say that?”
Dianne’s throat constricted. “It must be true; otherwise Ardith would still be here.” Tears came to her eyes. “My father would still be here.”
Faith wrapped Dianne in her arms. “Oh, Dianne, God still cares. He hasn’t forgotten you. We can’t always understand His ways, but child, His eye is on the sparrow—He knows when even one little bird falls from a tree. Do you not imagine Him knowing and caring that Ardith fell into the river—or that your father was killed?”
Dianne let her tears spill. “But it hurts so much, and I don’t understand.”
“It doesn’t always hurt less when we do understand,” Faith replied. “Knowing the why of things doesn’t always make it right.”
“What are you doing to my child?” Susannah Chadwick screamed, pulling Dianne from Faith’s hold.
Dianne was too stunned to say anything for several seconds. Her mother continued ranting, screaming for her children. Morgan appeared quickly.
“What’s wrong with her?”
Dianne shook her head as her mother finally released her. Faith stood by silently. It was only another few moments before Malachi was at her side.
“What have you done with my children?” Susannah demanded of Faith and Malachi.
“Mama, they’ve done nothing wrong. Betsy is playing with the children over there—see?”
Zane came up behind Morgan. “What’s wrong with Ma?” he asked, echoing his twin.
“Where’s Ardith?” their mother asked. “What have these darkies done with Ardith?”
Dianne exchanged a look with her brothers. Morgan took the initiative. “Ma, don’t you remember? Ardith fell in the river and drowned.”
“What kind of nonsense is that? I’m telling you they have her.” Their mother pointed her finger at Faith. “She’s been trying to steal Dianne all along. She’s a witch, I’m telling you. And now she’s stolen my Ardith!”
Morgan took hold of their mother’s arm. “Come on, Ma. Let’s get you back to the wagon where you can rest.”
“I don’t want to rest. I want to find my daughter!”
Morgan looked to Dianne for help. “I’ll fetch the doctor,” Dianne said softly. By now a crowd had gathered around them.
“I’ll get the doctor for you,” Levi said from the sea of onlookers.
Morgan and Zane had to nearly carry their mother back to the wagon. Betsy had made her way to Dianne and stood clinging tightly to her sister as though something more horrible might yet happen.
Dianne looked to Faith and Malachi before following her brothers. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
The army doctor and Levi arrived at the wagon at nearly the same time Dianne and Betsy did. The doctor went inside, shooing Morgan from his protective place at Susannah’s side. He then worked to soothe the woman as Dianne and her siblings watched from the back side. He poured a milky liquid into a spoon.
“I want you to take this now, Mrs. Chadwick. It will help you rest.”
Reluctantly she swallowed the concoction. “I want to see my children.”
“They’re right here waiting, Mrs. Chadwick. No need to worry.”
He gathered his things and exited the wagon, stopping only long enough to hand a bottle to Morgan. “See that she gets the rest of this laudanum. Give her a teaspoon every few hours. It’ll help her sleep.”
Morgan nodded and handed the bottle to Dianne as the doctor made his way back to the fort. “I think you’d better see to this.”
Dianne looked at the bottle. “Laudanum’s powerful medicine. I remember Pa keeping some hidden from the Union soldiers. He said folks in the town might have use for it if war came in earnest.”
Morgan motioned to the wagon positioned in front of the one where their mother slept. “We brought a small case with us. Ma figured to sell it in Virginia City or along the way. She said it’s good for all sorts of ailments. Guess we should have thought of it sooner.”
Dianne nodded and tucked the bottle into her pocket. “Betsy, you get ready for bed. I’ll be down shortly. I need to check on Ma and see if she needs anything more before we turn in.”
Betsy reluctantly did as she was told while Dianne climbed into the wagon. “Ma? Are you asleep yet?”
“No. I want you to bring Betsy and Ardith here. I need to talk to all three of you.”
Dianne felt tears form in her eyes. “Mama, Ardith isn’t with us anymore. Don’t you remember?”
Her mother sat up in the bed, her hair sticking out every which way. She looked rather like a madman—or in this case, a mad woman.
“I won’t listen to such nonsense, Dianne. Stop it now before I take a switch to your backside.”
Dianne didn’t know what to say or do. Her mother was clearly out of her mind, unwilling to acknowledge Ardith’s death and growing agitated with Dianne’s every word.
“I’m sorry, Mama. Why don’t you get some sleep and we can talk after that?”
Her mother yawned as the medicine seemed to take hold. “Very well. But I want to see all of you when I awaken.”
Dianne left the wagon, a feeling of hopelessness washing over her. She couldn’t help but wonder if God saw and understood this horror as well. Faith said He cared, that He saw everything. She gazed up at the star-filled sky, ignoring the sounds of revelry at the fort.
“Do you see this, God? Do you?”
CHAPTER 11
New Madrid
TRENTON, ROBBIE, AND GUSTAF CROUCHED IN THE BRUSH JUST beyond the Union supply house. The hot July day had given way to an equally steamy night. Lying in wait, Trenton wondered at the sensibility of what they were about to do. He wiped sweat from his eyes and watched for patrols.
He had it figured that the Union patrol was divided into two units. One on foot, the other on horseback. The unit on horseback came through every hour; the one on foot was a little less predictable. They seemed to come in fifteen to twenty minute intervals, but sometimes they took as long as thirty minutes. He guessed they were delayed by checking out noises or other problems, or maybe even stopping to talk to someone as they made their rounds. No matter what the reason, however, it made it difficult to gauge when the trio would strike.
The Swede worked preparing the black powder charges while Robbie and Trenton were to keep watch and figure out when they’d have the best opportunity to move. The supply house was actually an abandoned residence. Trenton had never known the folks who lived there, but it seem
ed a nice enough place. The war had no doubt caused them to move away from the river, however. There was much to fear in living near the Mississippi at a time when it was one of the most guarded and essential water routes. And just as Trenton and his comrades were now planning, the risk of sabotage or invasion was a threat that no one wanted to deal with.
“Here they come,” Robbie whispered back to the Swede. All three men ducked low into the brush coverage. Trenton found himself holding his breath as the Union patrol walked not ten feet away.
“I can’t believe how hot it is,” one soldier said.
“I can’t either. It’s not ever this hot back home,” the other replied.
“Wish I were back home right now. I used to hate working with my father, but I’d give all I have to be there right this minute.”
“My pa’s dead, but my ma and grandma are still alive. They could sure use me at home helping out.”
The conversation drifted down the path along with the men. Trenton let out his breath slowly. He just wanted to be done with the entire matter. Seeking revenge for his father was much more risky than he’d thought.
“I can’t believe they don’t have guards on the place all the time,” Trenton said in a hushed voice.
“They’ve had no need to,” Robbie declared in a whisper. “No one’s threatened them until now, and most folks don’t know about this place. With all the patrols, they figure they’re safe enough. Which is to our benefit.” Trenton nodded, though not completely convinced. He worried that they’d have hidden guards.
“Are you about done, Swede?” Robbie questioned, the nervous irritation clear in his tone.
“Ja, I’m finished.”
“Good thing. Much longer and we’d have to worry about that horse patrol coming back.”
Trenton struck a match to check his watch. “They’ll be back in twenty minutes—about the same time as the two that just passed by.” He pinched the match to extinguish the flame. “Let’s get those charges placed and get out of here.”
“Ja, I think dat’s a gud idea.” The Swede’s heavy accent lingered on the air for a moment before he rose to his feet. “I can set the charges. You two could be takin’ some of the supplies for us. There’s dat back vindow. You could climb through,” he said, pointing to Robbie. “You could hand the guds to Trent, and he could hide them over here until we can load the horses. Ja?”
“That wasn’t part of the original plan,” Trenton argued. “We don’t have a lot of time, Swede. We need to hurry.”
“Ja, so get to it.”
Robbie pulled on Trenton’s sleeve. “Come on. We can at least get a few loads. It won’t hurt anything. They’ll never even know.”
Trenton couldn’t see the face of the big Swede, but he knew the man had the strength to kill him with a single blow. It was probably best if he kept on the man’s good side. “All right. We’ll get what we can.”
Robbie and Trenton snuck to the back of the supply house while the Swede went to work setting his charges. The first problem Trenton encountered was the boarded-up back door and the locked windows.
“Now what?” he questioned, turning to Robbie.
Robbie took out his pistol, then pulled his felt hat from atop his head. “I’ll just break the glass.”
“What if they hear you?”
“They won’t,” he assured. Positioning his hat against the glass near the lock, Robbie took hold of the barrel of his pistol and smacked the butt against his hat.
The muffled sound of glass shattering seemed like a cacophony to Trenton. It seemed even louder as it hit the floor inside the house. He rushed to the patrol road and nervously peered up and down the trail. All was quiet, reassuring him that perhaps no one was any wiser to their exploits.
By the time he got back to the window, Robbie was already inside and ready to hand a box of ammunition out to Trenton. “Here, take this. Hurry.”
Trenton did as he was told. He pressed through the blackness to where they had left the horses. Setting the box aside, he whispered a prayer that they wouldn’t be caught. It seemed a strange thing to do. Why in the world would God listen to prayers that ask for a blessing on thievery and the likes? He remembered a time when he and Dianne had stolen cookies from where their mother had left them to cool. His only thought had been for the immediate pleasure and benefit. Now his only thought was to live to tell Dianne of this exploit. Of course, he doubted he’d ever tell her. It was too shameful.
Trenton hurried back to the house, where Robbie thrust a bundle of army blankets and more ammunition through the window. It went on like this for nearly ten minutes. Sweat soaked Trenton clear through. Partly due to his hard work, but mostly it was due to nerves. He just knew they were going to get caught.
He approached the house for the sixth or seventh time when the Swede showed up. “I’m finished. Let’s go.” The big man reached up and nearly lifted Robbie out of the window.
They went to where the horses were tethered and began to load up the goods. There were guns and ammunition, blankets, canteens, and other items that Trenton couldn’t even begin to remember. With shaking hands, Trenton tied some of the goods to his horse. The patrol should be back in only a matter of minutes—not to mention the boys on foot. They still needed to make it to the main road and then to the path that cut off and headed along the river, and all of this before they ran into the cavalry.
“Let’s go,” the Swede instructed.
The trio mounted and picked their way through the blackness of the forest. The Swede seemed to know his way instinctively. When they reached the clearing, the big man halted his horse and dismounted. He handed the reins to Robbie. “Vait here. I’ll light the powder.”
Trenton’s breathing quickened as his heart pounded. They were going to be caught red-handed at this. Then they’d be hanged for treason. He gripped the reins tight in his clammy hands. He grew a bit dizzy as he fought for breath.
The Swede came running back and yanked the reins from Robbie.
“It’s gonna blow for sure,” he declared. Trenton couldn’t be certain, but it almost sounded as if the Swede was laughing.
They urged the horses down the road, barely coming to the cutoff before hearing the patrol approaching. Just then, however, the sound of horses’ hooves was drowned out by the explosion. The night lit up as the supply house burst into flames, blazing debris flying high into the air as one charge after another ignited. The Swede motioned them into the brush as the cavalry patrol passed by in a full run. As soon as they were gone, the Swede urged his mount down the path toward the river.
Trenton couldn’t get away fast enough. His mind was filled with the horrors of the night. He hoped the foot patrol wasn’t close enough to be harmed by the explosion. He had no plans to be a murderer or a thief, but being a thief was easier to swallow.
They split down three separate roads, just as previously planned. They would eventually meet back at the hideout, but for now they needed to make certain that no one could follow them. To Trenton’s disappointment, he realized it would still be another hour before he could rid himself of the stolen supplies and feel truly safe again.
After splitting up with Robbie and the Swede, Trenton thought back on his actions, growing sicker by the minute. This wasn’t about revenge for his father, he thought. This was just plain stupid. These were the actions of a foolish man who’d allowed himself to get caught up in the company of no-accounts. The thought sickened him. Why was he always so easily led astray?
The more he thought about it, the worse his stomach churned. “I’m a fool,” he muttered.
He’d only gone along for about fifteen minutes before he jumped from the side of his horse and vomited. His stomach heaved and his entire body shook so violently that Trenton had to sit down. He felt like crying, something he’d not done since he was a boy.
Get ahold of yourself, he commanded his mind, but it didn’t seem to help. We could have been caught. We might yet be caught. He rocked back and forth, wil
ling his racing thoughts to still. His breathing slowed and the dizziness cleared. We didn’t get caught. We probably won’t get caught.
He breathed deeply and the steady pounding of his heart in his ears started to fade. In its place came the noises of the night—crickets and locusts, the gentle lapping of the water against the riverbank.
He felt so confused. He’d bragged to his mother and sister that he had a plan to make things right—to give his father justice. But this was no justice. There was nothing satisfying about what he’d done tonight.
Getting to his feet, Trenton looked down the road from which he’d just come. There was no sound, no disturbance to declare danger. He took up the reins and remounted his horse. He felt stupid for having gotten sick. What kind of man am I if I can’t keep my supper down just because things are … are … a matter of life and death?
Tonight had been the first time that Trenton had taken death seriously. At least his own death. He wondered in silence, as the horse steadily progressed along the road, what it would be like to die now—in the youth of his life. He would regret never seeing his family again— especially Dianne. She would be sorely disappointed with him if she knew what he was doing with his life.
Of course, there were those among his friends who would have applauded his efforts tonight. They hated the Northerners and would just as soon see them all dead.
“But I don’t feel that way,” Trenton muttered. “I just wanted to show them up for what they did to Pa.”
And now that he had done so and still had no feeling of accomplishment, Trenton began to ponder what his next move should be. He was all alone in the world—at least this part of the world. Dianne and the rest were far away by now—very nearly all the way to Virginia City. Hadn’t his mother said they’d arrive in August?
The one thing he was sure of was his desire to leave the Wilson gang. He was tired of Jerry’s threats whenever he messed up or misunderstood. He was tired of Jerry and Sam always fighting and of Mark’s hair-trigger temper. No, after tonight, Trenton was determined to find another gang to associate with. Or else he’d head west and find his family.
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