“Bowl of tom yum soup for your thoughts?” Hade snapped her focus back to him.
You really want to leave? Look at him. She was. She had been ever since she first set eyes on him in that hotel bedroom. Captain Fucking America crossed with the Dark Knight, he was her late-night wet dream apparition. So what was she doing thinking about leaving?
“I was just thinking that you’ve pretty much let me stay here. With all your shit, and you hardly know me.”
The chuckle came from low down in his throat. “You remember who I am, right? You cross me and I have a gang of bikers who will quite literally run you into the ground if I don’t stop them.”
“True.” Still. He trusted her. The realization came like a slap. Joke’s on him then. Was it? Or was it all on her? It went against everything the last year had taught her. Leave or be left. Take charge or get stomped on. That had been her experience. Until now. “They really are your family, aren’t they?”
“Not just my family. There are plenty of Hell’s Boys who don’t have anyone else.”
“Yes, but you’re a different kind of leader.”
“Maybe. Not sure I know what you mean.”
What did she mean? The dark underbelly of the Raising Hellfire Gang appealed to her need to do wild, stupid things with her time, but with Hade she felt . . . safe?
Safe? Trusted? Loved? Those kinds of words didn’t fit in her vocabulary. Not since her stepfather had come onto the scene. Her mom had had the love drained out of her and Lee had felt anything but safe before she left.
“So you going to stick around then?”
“You want me to?” She hadn’t meant for the surprise to be quite so evident in her voice.
They were both quiet and Lee found herself crossing her fingers that he would say yes. That he wouldn’t just ask her to stay in L.A., but ask her to stay with him. Here. In this warm, quiet bed where nothing but the two of them existed.
The silence grew just a little too long. Idiot. “You do that a lot, you know,” she said, picking up her spoon again.
“Do what?”
“Say nothing. Drop a sentence in and then shut up long enough for me to talk my way into something, or out of it, or I don’t know. Shut me up already.”
He looked her dead in the eye. “You know my deal. You gotta do what’s good for you.”
“I’m not very good at doing what’s good for me.”
“I don’t know, seems like you do plenty that’s good for you. Or maybe I’m getting confused with what’s good for me.”
Lee took a breath and dove in. “I do plenty that’s bad for me, trust me.”
Hade did his thing. Stayed silent and gave her space to fill without it feeling weird.
“I had a stepdad. Back in Boston. He liked to be in charge. Of everything.”
“He the one that put that mark on your back?”
She nodded. Holding back the thought of the terror she’d felt that night. He’d found out about her taking the job at the club. Shutting the door, he’d locked it and the house had gone completely still. It was always worse when he was silent. What part of you thought that I wouldn’t find out? was all he’d said. And then that was it. He’d dragged her by the hair into the living room, holding her down while he went at her with his dog’s metal leash.
“Hey. He’s not here now.” Hade pulled her back from the memory.
“He used to beat me and my mom. So I eventually moved out. And moved in with Conner. He liked to party. He liked me to party.”
Hade said nothing. Just waited, and she silently thanked him for not pushing her. “It all got a bit much.”
“Conner or the partying?”
“Both. His clubs were a front for his business. You know. Drugs. Money. Biker stuff, only without the bikers.”
“I don’t do drugs.” He stiffened.
She pulled back to look at him properly. “Yeah. You said.” She paused, wondering how much else to say. “I did. Do drugs, I mean. But I’m done with that now. I had to leave town because of them, so screw that. What’s your deal?”
He sucked in air and then blew it out slowly. “My brother died. Drug money.”
“It fucks you up in the end, huh? Sorry about your brother.”
They were both silent a moment. Lost in their own memories and then Lee realized she’d just told Hade more than she’d told any other person. “Thanks,” she said.
“What for?”
“Listening. And not judging.”
“I’m not really in any position to judge.”
“Sure. But anyway, thanks.” She looked for something to lighten the mood and reached for an egg roll.
“Still hungry?”
“Always,” she said.
“I noticed.” And that did it. The mood lifted like someone had opened a curtain and let sunlight in. Hade extracted the spoon from her fingers and placed both it and the takeout on the floor by the bed before climbing on top of her, his cock already a hard rod of need, pushing at her stomach. “How about dessert?”
She sighed. “Just what I need,” she said and surrendered to his kiss. Nothing like the light caress of earlier, this one sent the lust rushing around her bloodstream like some kind of supercharged hit of coke. Skin on skin, his body pressed her down into the mattress and she tipped her hips toward him, ready to stop thinking and start feeling. Pausing only long enough to roll on protection, Hade was back between her thighs, nudging himself at her entrance, coating himself in the juices that had started flowing in earnest as soon as his kiss had deepened.
The hard certainty of him so close eased Lee’s fretting and she drew her nails down his back, scraping out a temporary tattoo of ownership over his skin.
“You do that again and this won’t last long,” he said as he thrust harder inside her.
“True.” She wiggled and managed to give herself some space. For a change she didn’t want simple release. She wanted the connection between them to be deeper than her climax, to feel that his kiss meant something now. That it might mean something later. “Make love to me.”
“I thought that was what I was doing?” he growled.
“No.” She rolled him over so she was on top and slowly, slowly, eased herself onto him so he slid, slow and steady inside her. “Let’s take our time. Make it last. Make it count,” she said, even as her breath was stolen by the sensation of their bodies connecting.
“I can do that,” he said, his voice even deeper than earlier. His hands smoothed over her hips, up over her waist to brush lightly over her breasts.
“You know what I keep dreaming about?” he said and Lee’s heart tightened.
“What?”
“About that first night we met. About how you were this mixed drink of bourbon and ashtray.”
She stopped moving. “If that was a compliment, I’m not sure I’m getting it.”
He stroked her skin and shifted his hips so his length slid deeper inside her. “But you are. You’re sweet to taste.” He pulled her down and kissed her long and slow. “But you make my throat raw, like I need to drink more of you.” He lifted her by the hips to draw her off him, then pulled her back, sliding deep inside her again, slowly, oh so slowly. “And I just can’t get enough of you,” he continued. “Even though I know I shouldn’t drink . . .” he kissed her again, “every . . .” another kiss, “last drop.”
The combination of his cock deep inside her, his words, and the way he looked her in the eye with every one of them, almost melted Lee and she bent down for another kiss, letting herself loose in the moment. Finally, she allowed her guard down. Allowed her heart to swell and lap up his voice, his body, his words. “Thank you,” she said again.
“For making you come?” he said, keeping up his rhythm.
She put a hand on his chest and paused him a second. “I’m serious. I ran from a shit-storm back in Boston and you just let me in like it was nothing. You’re the first person in a long time to give a fuck.”
He grinned and pushed his cock back deep ins
ide. “You’re very welcome.”
Her grin followed his and she took her hands off his chest, digging her nails instead into his butt, grinding herself on him. “Enough with the talking now.”
All too soon she felt her climax approach with a heady spin.
“Come with me. Fall over the edge with me,” he said and lowered a hand to her butt to pull her closer as his thrusts got more and more urgent. She did as he asked, rocking her hips in time with his. Her peak came closer and closer until . . . “Yes, oh my god, yes.” She exploded into a cascade of starlight, every part of her body awash with the sensation. He rocked against her at the same time, his yell full of his release and their shared breath. Heart shattering, Lee felt herself fall headlong into Hade Corban and she knew she would never quite be the same again.
The room shuddered around the edges so she shut her eyes tight. For a long moment, there was nothing but their heavy breathing till Hade rolled away and disposed of the condom into a tissue by the side of the bed.
“Well,” she said, not sure what else to say but compelled to break the silence.
He rolled back and grinned. “Yeah. Well.”
Lee lay quiet a moment and then wondered how her heart could have done this to her. She wanted to ask, What next? But that wasn’t something she’d ever done.
“This is not what I had planned, I have to admit,” he said, chucking her under her chin. “You were supposed to be out of my bed days ago.”
Biting her lip, Lee rolled toward him. “I know. A week is a long time for me, too.” She hoped he’d say something else. Ask her to stay, reassure her that they could just take each day at a time. “I haven’t been in one place for a while.”
“Burnt your family ties then?”
She nodded. “Well and truly.”
“What about your mum?”
Taking a deep breath, she allowed herself to speak her true fears out into the room. “I tried to get her out when I moved into Conner’s trailer. But she didn’t want to leave. Every so often the worry hits me like a brick shithouse.”
“Fucker,” Hade growled.
“Yep. She watched him beat me and couldn’t do anything about it. She tried to stop him once and he almost killed her.”
“There are some dark people in the world.”
She nodded, thankful that he got it. That he understood that while there were mechanisms in place to catch this sort of shit, if you didn’t go to doctors, or to hospitals, you fell through the cracks. “I call her every couple of weeks. Just to check she’s still alive. She hangs up as soon as she works out it’s me.”
“I’m sorry.”
Shrugging, she gave him a wan smile. “Maybe it’s better for her without me there. She does everything he says so she doesn’t get the beatings.”
They were both quiet, and she wondered about the rest of Hade’s life. His hadn’t exactly been a joyride. Although at least now he was able to fight back.
“Don’t fret about what comes next,” he said gently as if he could read her mind. “You’ll be okay around here for a while. Blood ain’t any thicker than water really. You make your own family. Just like you make your own luck. Hell’s Boys are just like any family, there are plenty of fuckers and a few good sorts. Only difference is you gotta make sure you work out which is which and not screw around with the angry ones when they’re waving guns around. Works for me anyway.”
Lee pushed a smile onto her face. That would have to do. It was a sort of invitation to stick around, wasn’t it? “That’s an understatement,” she said.
He shrugged. “Maybe. Work out where you fit, and you’re safe. Mostly.”
Unable to stop herself, she pushed, just a little, to see if he would open up any more. “Don’t you sometimes want to get away?”
He looked down at her, a frown on his face, and she wondered if she’d pushed too far. “From what?”
“From all this.” She waved her hand around. “Hit the road on that big bad bike of yours. Not look over your shoulder all the time at what some other asshole is doing.”
Hade’s frown deepened. “Can’t. Hell’s Boys is home.” He rolled out of bed. “Speaking of which, gotta run. New guy wants to screw with the Reapers, gonna get himself killed. Rocco’s called a meeting.”
Kiss me again, her mind shouted, but instead she just said, “Okay, then.”
“You’ll be right there when I get back?”
The smile tugged at her lips before her subconscious could stop it. He asked me to stay! “Something like that.”
“Good,” he said and bent over to tweak the nipple that had peeked over the bedding. “You shouldn’t wear any clothes anyway. We should enjoy this while it lasts.”
She stayed in bed while he showered and dressed, and after the roar of his bike had faded into the general mess of traffic noise outside.
Now what, genius? Lee rolled over and pulled a pillow over her head. Being with Hade was great. More than great. And she definitely felt steady, and held, and . . . loved? Yes, the way Hade looked at her, made her feel like she could do anything, be anything, be part of something bigger than herself for once.
Maybe he was right and the Raising Hellfire Gang could be a place to call home. If she could convince Hade to make room for her, there was no question that the others would, too. But he’s made it pretty clear that’s not going to happen. Enjoying this while it lasted? And the frown on his face when she pushed him about his dreams. Stupid.
Lee sighed. But she couldn’t help it now. The weird feeling she had every time he walked into a room? The uneasy sensation of her heart leaping up to her throat like some kind of frog on acid? He’d gotten her. Right where it was gonna hurt. The sigh threatened to rush out of her again, but she stopped it halfway. No. She didn’t give up that easily. Wouldn’t hurt to try and show him she’d be a help, not a hindrance when he became head of the gang.
Whether love would win out over gang loyalty she didn’t know, but for all his talk of needing to be alone and concentrate on stepping up to run the gang, Hade had made it pretty clear that he wanted to shake things up. Make the gang be a hub for people, all sorts of people, rather than a haven for brutality.
“Maybe I can help with that.” Lee chuckled to herself. She sat up and stepped out of bed, hoping she might find some clarity in a hot shower.
With the water rushing over her skin, she couldn’t help comparing Hade to all of her other lovers. He was, hands down, the best screw she’d ever had. And the best company afterward. Stepping out of the shower, she toweled off, relishing the still full sensation of him between her thighs and stared at herself in the mirror. She looked good. Long dark hair tousled from their time in bed, her amber eyes wide and bright, the pink flush of her chest still faintly visible from where the blood had pumped hard and fast up to her chest at orgasm.
“You’ve fallen for him, you idiot,” she said to her reflection.
That was it, wasn’t it? The big no-no. But saying it out loud didn’t hurt like she thought it would. She didn’t feel lost, or trapped, or panicked.
For how long? That was it, wasn’t it? Being with Hade was great, but it needed to stay great. She didn’t have any experience being a one-man-girl for more than a week. And Hade wasn’t looking to help her change that. She was going to have to change it herself.
She looked down and saw the envelope full of money from the car wash, thrown casually on the vanity. Keep ’em keen, babes. The saying might have been handed on to her by someone else, but it fit her just right. Keeping him excited, on edge, and interested, that was the ticket. Time to show off just what he had with her.
She was going to organize a party. Hade had said the school needed about seven grand, right? They’d made sixty-four hundred, more or less, at the car wash. If she borrowed a little from the envelope for startup costs, she’d be able to make up the six-hundred-dollar shortfall easily. And at the same time she’d put together a show that would make sure Hade didn’t put her in the boring box anytim
e soon.
Chapter Eight
After the two days he’d had Hade wanted to get home and fall into Lee. But the boys convinced him he needed a drink and to hang out a bit first. His brother’s voice tut-tutted at him in his head. Told you. Women are a bad idea for guys like us.
Most women, yes, Hade thought. Lee was different though. Different? What exactly made her different? As he walked into Wilde’s Hotel’s bar the reality of just what made Lee different came into full-color focus. What. The. Fuck.
She was up on the bar, dancing, topless except for a pair of sparkly, tasseled pasties, grinding her hips into another woman’s pelvis. A woman he recognized as the one with the Reapers of Menace member from the night he’d met Lee. Moreover, Lee’s eyes were wild, lost to the music, the attention, or something worse. If drugs were in the mix he was out of there. Full stop. End of story. His brother was not going to have died for nothing. She’d said she didn’t do them anymore, but she’d said a lot of things.
He wanted to drag her down from there and wrap her up in his jacket. He wanted to take her upstairs and make her do just what she was doing, but for his eyes only. But only if she was clean.
Cut her loose. This is not going to work. His brother’s voice was in his head again and he had to agree. Worrying about what might happen to her when he wasn’t looking, worrying about who she was with, what she might say, what madness he needed to clean up, was something that would drive him crazy. And something that was dangerous if the Reapers of Menace decided to use it against him. She had to pull it back, or this ended, now.
“Can see why you keep her around,” someone said, slapping Hade on the shoulder as he walked in. He glared at the man and whatever he saw in Hade’s eyes couldn’t have been pretty because the guy backed off quicker than a NASCAR tire change.
Someone pushed a drink into his hand, and Hade tried to unclench his shoulders. Part of her charm was how free she was with her body. If that’s all this was with them he could live with that. For now.
He shook his head. He was overthinking things. Probably being paranoid. Being in a meeting with a bunch of men who would have thought nothing of pulling out a gun to settle the conversation did that to a guy.
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